by Sandi Lynn
“Me? No way. No way in Hell.”
“Yeah. That would be pretty bad if you were. I mean, you of all people shouldn’t be a dad.” She laughed.
“Excuse me?” I arched my brow. “Why not?”
“Because you’re selfish and the only person you can love is yourself.”
I narrowed my eye at her.
“What?” she asked. “Aren’t you the one who goes around telling people that you’re incapable of love?”
“Is the Edwards file ready yet?”
“Almost,” she replied.
“Then get back to your desk and finish it!”
“Yes, sir. I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know.” She got up and walked out of my office.
After I left the office and drove home, I poured myself a drink, took the envelope with the papers in it, and sat out on the patio. I had just gotten them back from my attorney and he said everything looked good and I had nothing to worry about. As I pulled out the documents and read them over, my phone beeped with a text message from Kinsley.
“Hey, sorry to bother you, but I want to know if you signed the papers yet? I have to get them back to my attorney so we can finalize this.”
“Not yet. I’ve been really busy with a new project. I’ll sign them and give them back to you.”
“Thanks.”
“And for the record, you’re not bothering me.”
I set down my phone and placed my face in my hands. Kinsley was an incredible woman and I knew damn well what my feelings for her indicated. She was the first woman I’d ever met that somehow broke through the defensive wall I built around me and I didn’t know how she did it. I picked up my phone and called a buddy of mine, Darius Cole.
“Darius, it’s Chase Calloway.”
“Chase, my man. How are you?”
“I’m good. Thanks. I need a favor from you, buddy.”
“Of course. Anything.”
“I need you to dig up some information on a woman named Kinsley Davis from Berkshire, Indiana. I need an address, friends, where she worked, etc.”
“Sure. Let me see what I can find.”
“Thanks,” I spoke as I ended the call.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Kinsley
I pulled into the medical center parking lot and took the elevator up to the third floor. Upon entering suite 304, I signed in, filled out the new patient paperwork, and patiently waited for my name to be called. This was my first appointment with Dr. Nancy Morgan, the obstetrician Dr. Harrison recommended. This wasn’t how I envisioned my first appointment. I had a vision that I’d be sitting here, hand in hand with my husband, just as excited as I was. I was a little nervous, but this was something I’d have to get used to, being alone on this journey. Lexi offered to come with me, but I knew she already had dinner plans with Ben and his family.
“Hi, Kinsley, I’m Doctor Morgan.” She extended her hand with a smile.
“Hi, Doctor Morgan.” I lightly shook her hand.
“I’m going to have you lie down and I want to do a quick ultrasound just to verify how many weeks you are.”
I lay back as she pressed into my belly with the transducer and stared at the screen.
“I’m going to turn this up.” She smiled. “See this?” She pointed to a small flashing dot on the screen. “This is your baby’s heartbeat.”
Tears started to fill my eyes as I stared at it.
“Wow,” I spoke.
“You’re about eight weeks pregnant.” She cleaned the gel off my belly with a tissue and helped me up. “I’m going to start you on prenatal vitamins and you are to take one starting today. I see here you’re single.” She looked at my chart.
“Yes. I am.”
“And the baby’s father?” She glanced at me.
“He’s not in the picture.”
“That’s okay.” She smiled. “Try to live a stress-free life during this pregnancy. Of course, I don’t have to tell you that stress isn’t good for you or your baby. Are you active?”
“I run every morning at least three miles and I take yoga classes.”
“Good. Keep it up. You want to keep your body as healthy as possible. Continue with the yoga as well. It will help keep your stress to a minimum and keep you centered.” She smiled.
On my way home, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things I needed. As I was in the produce section, picking out some apples, I looked up and saw Chase standing there.
“Hey.” He lightly smiled.
“Hey.” I continued placing the red apples in a bag.
“I see you’re loading up on fruits and veggies,” he spoke.
“Yep. I take it you’re doing some shopping as well.”
“Just picking up a few things. Steven is having a little get together. I went down to my dad’s office and he said you left early for a doctor’s appointment. Everything okay?”
Why the hell was he asking me? He didn’t give a damn and this small talk was getting on my nerves.
“Yeah. Everything’s fine,” I spoke, deadpan.
“Good. I better get going. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah. Have fun,” I spoke.
Chase and I barely spoke anymore. When we did, it was strictly business at the office. He was a stressor in my life and the less I was around him, the better off I was. I had forgiven him for turning his back on me and his baby. I had no choice if I wanted any peace in my life. But just because I forgave him, didn’t mean I had to be his friend. That was something we’d never be again.
****
Chase
Steven’s get together was a bros’ night at his place with me, him, and Alex. We played poker, kicked back some beers, ate snacks, and finished off a couple of large pizzas.
“Why didn’t you tell me Kinsley was pregnant?” Alex asked.
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t think about it.” I shrugged.
“If you’re not the father, who is?”
“Some guy she had a one-night stand with.”
“Hell, had I known she was sleeping with someone other than you, I would have fucked her myself.” Steven grinned. “I would love to put my cock inside that beauty.”
I swallowed hard as anger rose inside me and I tried to control myself.
“I bet that sexy mouth of hers could suck a dick like no other. You would know, Chase. Give us the details.”
I got up, lunged across the table, and grabbed his shirt with both my hands.
“Don’t you ever talk about her like that again,” I growled. “If you weren’t like a brother to me, I’d fucking flatten you right here.”
“Chase, dude, calm down.” Alex stood up and placed his hand on my arm.
I let go of Steven and walked away.
“What the fuck is your problem, bro?” Steven yelled. “We always talk about women like that.”
“Not her!” I pointed at him in anger.
I walked out the patio door and headed down to the beach, taking a seat in the sand and listening to the roaring sounds of the waves.
“What’s really going on, Chase?” Alex asked as he sat down next to me and handed me a bottle of beer.
Alex was always the reasonable one of the three of us and I knew I could trust him.
“I’m the baby’s father.”
“I somehow already knew that,” he spoke.
“I told her that I didn’t want to be a father and I couldn’t, so she had papers drawn up for me to sign relinquishing my parental rights.” I brought the bottle up to my lips.
“Did you sign them?” he asked.
“Not yet.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think you do know, but you’re so scared that you can’t admit it to yourself. I’ve known you a long time, Chase, and I’ve never seen you like you are when you’re with Kinsley. Yeah, you were friends and fuck buddies, but I know it went beyond that. I think you need to talk to someone, like a therapist. The
re’s nothing wrong with that. They’ll be able to help you see things clearer.”
“Maybe. Listen, please don’t tell anyone what I told you. Kinsley and I had an agreement that no one would ever know I was the father.”
“I won’t.” He hooked his arm around me. “But I will tell you something and I want you to listen to me very carefully. It doesn’t matter how hard you are on the exterior, when you see your kid, you’re going to feel something, whether you want to or not, and I’d hate to see you live a life of regret.” He patted my shoulder and walked away.
I was up all night, tossing and turning. My life was perfect before Kinsley moved here and now it was nothing but a fuckery of a mess. The next morning, as I was sitting at my desk, my phone rang.
“Hey, Darius.”
“Hey, Chase. I have that information for you. I’m sending it via email now.”
“Thanks. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem.”
“By the way, this needs to stay between us.”
“I figured that. No worries,” he spoke.
I opened up my email and studied it. Picking up my phone, I booked a flight to Indiana.
“I’m heading out for the day, Lexi. Have a good weekend.”
“You too, Chase.”
Before I left the building, I walked down to Kinsley’s desk.
“Hi. Is he in there?”
“No. He’s been at a golf outing all day,” she spoke.
“That’s right. I forgot,” I lied. “Well, have a good weekend.”
“You too.” She gave me an odd look.
I knew my father was out of the office, but I wanted to see her one last time before I left.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Chase
By the time I arrived in Indiana, it was late. I booked a room at the hotel airport, and come morning, I’d rent a car and drive to Berkshire, which was only about an hour and fifteen minutes away.
I was up early, rented a car, and headed out. While I was driving through the small town of Berkshire, I looked around at the dreaded scenery.
“Good God, now I know why she wanted to leave this place,” I spoke to myself.
My first stop was at the greasy diner she worked at for breakfast. When I walked in, all eyes were on me. I stuck out like a sore thumb in this town.
“Hi,” a young woman chomping on gum like an animal spoke. “Table for one?”
“Yes. Please.”
She took me over to a booth by the window, and within a few moments, the waitress walked over.
“Hi, I’m Krista. Can I get you some coffee or juice?”
Ah, this must be her former best friend. I wasn’t sure why her ex would want to sleep with that.
“Hello, sweetheart. “I smiled. “I’ll have some coffee and an orange juice. Is it freshly squeezed?” I asked.
She laughed. “Umm, no. It’s actually frozen.”
“I see. Just coffee will be fine.”
This place was a dump and I couldn’t understand for the life of me why Kinsley would work here. She was right, it was a grease pit. I picked up the menu and cautiously looked it over. I was afraid to eat anything here.
“Here’s your coffee.” Krista smiled. “Are you ready to order?”
“Is your fruit plate fresh?” I asked.
“Judging by your looks, you’re obviously not from around here.”
“No, I’m not. I’m passing through.”
She leaned in closer to me.
“I wouldn’t touch the fruit plate if I was you.” She winked.
“Okay, then. I’ll have scrambled eggs and whole wheat toast, no butter.”
“Good choice.” She smiled.
“Do you have a second?” I asked her.
“For what?” She licked her lips.
“I’m looking for someone. Her name is Kinsley Davis.”
“Kinsley? Why are you looking for her?” she asked in shock.
“We’re acquaintances. I met her a while back and I wanted to say hi.”
“Kinsley never told me she met anyone. Especially someone who looks like you. We used to be best friends, but she up and left town a few months ago. Nobody knows where she went off to.”
“Krista!” the fat man in behind the counter yelled. “Quit the chit chat and get back to work.”
“He was asking me about Kinsley.”
“Kinsley? If you see her, tell her she’s fired. That bitch was the only waitress I had scheduled and she never showed.”
“Well, I can’t say that I blame her.”
“I’m sorry, but she’s gone and I don’t know where she is,” Krista said.
“Thank you for your time,” I spoke.
The diner wasn’t crowded at all. In fact, there were only four people, including me, in the place. The door opened and a rugged-looking man who appeared to be in his mid to late twenties walked in.
“Hey, Henry.” Krista smiled as she walked over and kissed him.
“Hey, baby.”
He took a seat at the booth in front of me, sitting directly in my view. I studied him. He wasn’t bad-looking, but nothing great either. Obviously, he and Krista were still getting it on. Douchebag. Krista walked over to him, set down a cup of coffee, and then whispered in his ear. He looked up at me.
“Hey, Krista says you were asking about Kinsley.”
“I was. Do you know her?”
“I sure do know her. How do you?” he asked with an attitude. “You’re not from around here.”
“No. I’m not, thank God, but I was looking for her to say hi.”
“Like I asked, how do you know her?”
“I’m an acquaintance of hers. We met a while back. Actually, it was in this diner when I was passing through town. She was my waitress and I found her to be really nice. She told me to stop and say hi if I ever passed through here again.”
“Well, she’s not here. She left town,” he spoke.
“That’s what your girlfriend said. I guess I’ll be on my way.”
He glared at me as I threw some money down on the table. When I got up, I walked over to him, grabbed him by his shirt, and punched him in the face.
“That was for Kinsley, you douchebag,” I spoke as I walked out, got in my car, and sped off.
I pulled into the driveway of the rundown house she called home. It was small and couldn’t be any more than a thousand square feet. When I knocked on the door, an older woman answered it in a red silk robe with her hair up in a high ponytail, holding a drink in her hand.
“Hello, there. I’m looking for Kinsley.”
“Well, hello there, handsome.” She seductively smiled. “I’m afraid my daughter isn’t here.”
“Damn. I was really hoping to see her. May I come in and wait?”
“You can come in.” She opened the door wider. “But you’ll be waiting an awful long time. She left town a couple of months ago. I haven’t heard from or seen her since.”
I stepped inside the messy house and looked around.
“Can I offer you a drink?’ she asked.
“Do you by any chance have scotch?” I arched my brow.
“Of course I do.” She grinned as she went into the kitchen. “How do you know Kinsley?”
“We met one day when I was passing through town. I wanted to say hi and see how she was doing.”
She poured some scotch in a red Solo cup and I was appalled.
“Sorry, all my glasses are dirty. But scotch is scotch, right?”
“Right.” I hesitantly took the cup from her.
“Kinsley was the one who always kept the house clean. Since she left, I haven’t been really keeping it up.”
“I can see that. Where did she go?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I woke up one day to a note saying that she couldn’t stay here anymore and that she was leaving. I thought she meant she was going to live with her boyfriend Henry, but when I called him, he told me that they had a huge fight and he hadn’t seen her since.�
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“Weren’t you worried about her?”
“Nah. Kinsley is a smart girl. She can take care of herself. In fact, she was the one who always took care of me. Life was hard for us.”
“I’m sure it was,” I spoke as I once again looked around. “Is that normal for a child to take care of a parent? I could have sworn it was supposed to be the other way around.”
“Excuse me?”
“Kinsley told me a little about you and your lifestyle. How you were always passed out drunk and never paid any attention to her.”
“Like I said, life was hard for us. I may not have been the best mother, but I tried.”
“And how exactly did you try? She had to get herself ready for school, make her own breakfast and lunch, come home to a mother passed out on the couch. For fuck sakes, you missed your own daughter’s graduation. You made her feel like she didn’t matter.”
“It sounds to me like you and my daughter were more than just acquaintances. Who the fuck do you think you are coming into my home, dressed in your fancy expensive clothes, and talking to me like that?”
“I happen to care about your daughter. More than I can say for you.”
“I love my daughter. I may not have always shown it, but I do. Kinsley is a strong girl and she got out of this dump. She left to make a life for herself instead of sticking around here ending up like me.”
“Do you even miss her?” I glared at her.
“Of course I miss her. She’s my little girl. But I can’t begrudge her for wanting her own life. I get the feeling you know where she is.”
“I do and I’m not going to tell you. Kinsley wants nothing to do with you. I had to come see all of this for myself.”
“She doesn’t know you’re here, does she?”
“No. She doesn’t.”
“Is she okay?”
“She’s fine and living the life she always wanted.”
“Are you her boyfriend or something?”
“I’m a friend.”
“Do me a favor. Tell her that I love her, I’m sorry for everything, and I miss her.”
“You could have told her that yourself the day she left. She tried waking you, but you dismissed her, just like you’ve done her whole life.”