by Nancy Fraser
Eventually she came upon a glass display case where the most expensive ornaments were kept—angels, trees, stockings and wreaths made of crystal, silver, or gold. Roz leaned over the top of the counter examining the fine baubles. A delicate silver and crystal valentine caught her eye. Not very Christmassy. She leaned nearer, intrigued, because it was only one half of a valentine split down the middle—as if the artist had designed it to symbolize a broken heart.
“Did you find something?” Matilda came up from behind.
“Yes, is there any way I could see the valentine?”
“Surely.” Matilda went behind the counter and unlocked the sliding door. She lifted out the delicate ornament. “Interesting. I sold its companion earlier this morning.”
Roz carefully took it from the store owner and turned it over in her hands. “You mean you had two pieces?”
“Yes. They actually could be put together, but they were also meant to sell separately. I consigned them from an artist near Boston.”
Was it silly to want an ornament shaped like a broken heart? Grandma liked pretty things, and this was certainly pretty. Yet, should she give Grandma a gift that reminded the older woman of her own heartache?
Roz’s eyes suddenly blurred, and her face grew warm. Her heart pounded. She didn’t need to remind her grandmother of her broken heart; Grandma Tress lived that reality every day. But maybe Grandma didn’t know others also shared in that hurt. Her ornament would signify less tragedy than empathy. “I’ll take it,” she announced without thinking any longer.
“Fine,” Matilda said. “I’ll wrap it for you.”
ROZ DECIDED TO EXPLORE the town she had once known as well as she now knew Chicago. Surprisingly, or maybe not, the twenty-first century didn’t seem to have arrived in the town. At Dorrit’s Diner on Main Street, Roz entered to find several groups of patrons at the door waiting to be seated. Then she spotted Cooper standing up and motioning to her from a table. She met his gaze and felt a flush heat her cheeks. Her heart rate picked up as she slipped through the line and walked over to him.
He stood and pulled out a chair. “Have a seat. I just got the table.”
“Thank you. This place is packed.”
“Always is this time of the year.” He returned to his seat and handed her a menu. “The curry chicken salad is good.”
“You’re right. I’ve had it before.”
“Have you been shopping?”
Roz nodded. “Yes. I’ve picked up a few things.”
“Me too.”
Small talk. Roz was at a loss. What could she say to carry on conversation? She couldn’t focus on anything but Cooper’s recent loss, and a recognition, so sudden and deep, that she’d made a big mistake turning down his proposal those years ago.
“Are you doing okay?” he asked.
“Sure. I’m fine.”
“I thought maybe Grandpa’s illness was making you sad.”
“Well, yes.” That and other things, but she didn’t want to explain. How could she admit she felt sorry for him? That she should apologize for the way she left things between them? What if he didn’t return her feelings? After all, he’d gone on with his life.
A waitress took their order. An awkward silence filled the space between them. Roz observed the other diners and heard the happy buzz of conversation. The excitement of Christmas had certainly caught hold of the patrons. She didn’t feel that enthusiasm, and Cooper had picked up on her depression.
They had almost finished their sandwiches when Roz caught a flash of red hair entering the diner.
“Don’t look now,” she said. “There’s your friend Joni.”
Cooper groaned but managed a friendly smile as Joni approached them carrying an armload of packages.
“Mind if I sit down? There aren’t any seats.”
Cooper stood and seated her, just as he’d done for Roz. Good manners never hurt; Roz heard her mother’s admonition in her head.
Joni dominated the rest of the lunch with her chatter about the holidays. At one point, Roz thought Cooper’s eyes glazed over, and she hid a smile. After Roz finished eating, she sat back, crossed her arms over her chest, and watched Joni’s imitation of a stereotypical ditzy blonde. Too bad she didn’t bleach her hair.
“You certainly have a lot of patience,” Roz said after Joni waved goodbye and the two of them stood outside in front of the diner.
“In my business, I need patience.” Cooper pulled on his gloves. “Besides, Joni isn’t so bad, and she has a lot of plumbing issues.”
“I bet, and she has a habit of showing up wherever you are.”
“You noticed that too?”
“Kinda’.” Roz raised her eyebrows, displaying a wide grin.
“Come on. I’ll drive you home.”
Cooper touched the small of her back to escort her through the shoppers on the sidewalk and to his truck. It was an intimate gesture. Her heartbeat quickened. She remembered what she’d liked about Cooper—his compassion, his steadiness, his competence, his old-fashioned chivalry. He was easy on the eyes as well. She couldn’t deny that.
When they pulled into the driveway, Grandma Tress gestured to them from the back door.
“She must need something.” Cooper jumped out of the driver’s side. “Grandpa?”
Roz followed him, a sudden fear tightening her stomach. Could something have happened while she was gone?
“Oh, Cooper.” Grandma stood in the kitchen, wringing her hands.
“What is it Mrs. Henry?”
“It’s terrible.” Grandma favored Roz with an apologetic glance. “I’m so scatterbrained these days. You’d think I had Grandpa’s illness.”
“Don’t say that, Grandma!” Roz was shocked by the frantic tone of her grandmother’s voice.
“Roz, you know Carl and Lisa and the kids are coming tonight,” she said.
“Yes.” Why was Grandma so upset?
“Ken now sleeps in the den. That means one less space for the grandchildren. There are five of them. I only have three bedrooms. There’s not enough room for all of us.”
“I can go to a hotel,” Roz offered.
“We don’t have hotels, dear. Just bed and breakfast places or the Holly Hill Inn, and they’re all full. I called them.”
“Well, there’s the living room sofa.” Roz didn’t want Grandma upset.
“Nonsense,” Cooper spoke up. “I have a guest bedroom upstairs. Roz can stay with me.”
“I was hoping you’d say that, dear.” Grandma patted his sleeve, her smile widening and a wicked look gleaming in her eye.
Roz gazed from one to the other. Why was there a twinkle in Cooper’s eyes?
Chapter 4
HER FATE DETERMINED, Roz went upstairs and packed her suitcase. She put her belongings into her car, and to give her uncle room for his car when he arrived, moved the Honda over to Cooper’s driveway next to his garage. His house was a Cape Cod, built in the 1940s if she recalled correctly, with pale yellow, cedar shake siding and a white picket fence near the street. She remembered thinking it looked like a doll’s house when she was little and wanting to live in it.
Cooper came out to meet her and took her suitcase. Roz slung her carryon bag over her shoulder. “I think you will be comfortable upstairs,” he said.
Roz remembered the second floor used to be Cooper’s domain. Summer nights, and with a few feet between houses, they’d open their upstairs windows to chat with each other. Back in the day, talking through the open window was better than texting or scrolling through a cell phone app today. Sometimes Cooper played his guitar, and she’d sit on her bed listening to his music and dreaming about her future. Back then she had been so optimistic, so full of plans. Now she just felt like such a loser.
“Come on in.” Cooper stood aside to let her enter his house.
Roz’s eyes widened and a surprise feeling fluttered in her stomach. “You’ve remodeled the house!”
Everything was open concept with recessed lightin
g, hardwood floors, and crown molding. A bar with stools separated the living room from the kitchen. It was brand new with maple cabinetry, granite counters, and stainless appliances. The house was such a contrast to that of her grandparents’ where nothing had been touched for years.
“Modernizing was Brittany’s idea. It gave her something to concentrate on while going through treatments.”
Yes, Brittany. She was the ghost in the house, and Roz unexpectedly was at a loss for words. How could she compete with Brittany? Why did she want to try? Why did that thought make her want to cry?
Her chest tightened and she slanted her body away from Cooper under the pretext of viewing his living room. “Well, it looks amazing. Where do you want me to put my things?” she finally turned to him and asked.
He looked down, unable to meet her eyes, and she felt his embarrassment as keenly as she felt her own. Having her in his house would be tough for him too.
“Don’t worry about them.” Cooper scraped a lock of hair away from his forehead. “I’ll put your bags upstairs.”
“Thanks.” She wanted to get away. “I need to wrap my gifts and help Grandma Tress with tomorrow night’s dinner.”
“No problem. You go on.”
With his permission, Roz fled Cooper’s house. She didn’t like her sudden self-doubt. Sure, being rejected by the umpteenth boyfriend and losing a job was one thing, but why did she feel a flare of jealousy over Joni, who Cooper obviously didn’t like? Envying the former wife—and a dead one at that—was another issue.
ROZ LEFT, AND HIS HOUSE was overly quiet. Her leaving created an empty hole in the pit of Cooper’s stomach. Having her stay the night was a big mistake. In their short time together, she’d worked her way, just a little, back into his heart.
He was ashamed of himself. It wasn’t fair to Brittany. She’d been a good wife. He’d loved her. But once he’d loved Roz too. Was it possible to love two women?
He’d promised Brittany to go on with his life. Could he do what she asked? Guilt that he wasn’t able to save her erupted into his gut. It had been tormenting him since her death and had kept him closed up, working hard but alone. He felt sick.
No way could he let his attraction to Roz get the best of him. Nothing had changed. He was a small-town plumber. She remained career oriented and would leave Dickens after the holidays.
Preferring action to reflection, Cooper picked up Roz’s bags and carried them upstairs. He placed the rolling suitcase on a luggage rack and put her smaller bag in the connecting bathroom. Then he turned on the lamp on the bedside table.
Brittany had insisted on remodeling his old room too. It looked nothing like it did when he was in high school, living next door to the cute summer visitor, who often dressed in front of her curtained window. Back then, he’d been given to fantasies, never thinking some day Roz would sleep in his bed, now covered with a charcoal and white-stripped, elephant print quilt which had been part of Brittany’s frantic decorating project.
ROZ HAD NOT REALIZED what a whirlwind of destruction five boys—six to sixteen—could do to a house. They took over the moment they arrived—sprawling on the chairs and sofas, kicking off their huge athletic shoes, talking and laughing loudly. She couldn’t even remember all their names.
Glad to be in the kitchen helping Grandma and Aunt Lisa with preparations for Christmas Eve dinner, Roz mulled over her newfound obsession with Cooper. She had no answer, only troubling emotions that were safer ignored.
But she couldn’t ignore them. There, in the stuffy kitchen, with television noise and boys’ laughter coming from the den and her fingers mixing a bowl of breadcrumbs and onions for stuffing, a profound truth hit her.
Since her teenage days, she’d evaluated every man she met by Cooper.
She’d put off one offer of marriage after another, always dragging her feet when pressed to name a date. When it became obvious she wouldn’t commit, the guy always moved on. Maybe all the dumping she’d whined about had not been totally the fault of the guys.
When her epiphany came, it felt like a punch to her gut. Maybe deep in her heart, she had been waiting. Not waiting for the one, but waiting for Cooper. Maybe she was still in love with the boy next door.
AFTER SHARING A DINNER of delivered pizza with her family and with the new realization swirling in her head, Roz left her grandparents’ house to walk the few yards to Cooper’s. It had started to snow. Her Henry cousins had gone skating on Grosvenor’s Pond, leaving the house quiet enough for Grandma to put Grandpa to bed.
Cooper answered her knock and stood in the doorway backlit from the glowing lights in his living room. New awareness of her unrequited love made her nervous. She licked her lips and offered a tentative smile.
“Your houseguest has arrived,” she said.
“Don’t stand there. Come in!”
He threw the door open for her, and she passed by him, keenly aware of his smell of musk and soap.
“I appreciate you letting me stay here. It’s chaos next door.” Roz took a breath to calm her nerves, conscious of the fine lines at the corners of his blue eyes and his suntanned face shadowed with a beard. “I didn’t know what five rowdy boys could do to a house.”
“I’m glad you agreed to come over. It does get lonely sometimes, especially during the holidays. Here, let me take your coat.” Cooper shut the door behind her and tossed her coat onto the back of a chair. “Have a seat. Would you like some wine?”
“Yes, that sounds nice.” Roz sat down in a comfy sofa facing a fireplace of gas logs. “Red, if you have it.”
“That’s all Brittany drank.”
His off-hand remark served to remind her this was another woman’s house—a woman Cooper had loved enough to marry.
“I love what you’ve done with the house,” she said, making conversation.
He stood behind the bar, pouring wine into two wineglasses. “Of course, I did the plumbing work myself, but I hired a building contractor for the rest.”
“You certainly brought this house into the twenty-first century.”
Before coming back into the living room, Cooper dimmed the overhead lights and turned on soft music.
“I hope you like Merlot.”
Roz took the glass he handed to her. “My favorite.” She took a sip and let the smooth liquid slide down her throat. “Did you know Merlot means The Little Blackbird in French?”
“I didn’t.” He sat at the other end of the sofa. “How do you know that?”
Roz angled herself to face him, putting a knee on the cushion. “I read it on the Internet somewhere.”
“Ah, the things one can learn from the Internet.” Cooper sipped his wine, gazing at her over the rim of the glass.
“Yes. It certainly has taken over the world.” Her stomach fluttered. She took another sip.
“But the world still needs plumbers.”
Roz smiled at him. “Yes, they do.”
“I hear you’ve done well for yourself, Roz.”
Really? Sometimes she felt as if she marked time. “How do you mean?”
“Grandma Tress says you have a good job in Chicago, and I think you’re still as pretty as ever.”
She chose to ignore the first part. “I bet you say that to all the girls,” she replied batting her eyelashes as if to flirt with him.
“No, I don’t.” Cooper took her seriously. “I’ve kept to myself since Brittany died.”
“Not without very obvious pursuit on the part of some people.”
He caught her meaning. “Joni means well,” he said. “She’s just lonely.”
Roz shut her eyes for a moment. Typical Cooper. Kind to everyone. She wondered if he knew the real story of why she had shown up on her grandparent’s doorstep three days early, would he be kind to her too? She opened her eyes, straightened her shoulders, and engaged him with a smile. “I suppose we all get lonely.”
“I always picture you as the life of the party.” Cooper’s voice held a wistful tone and he took ano
ther sip of wine. She wondered if he longed to be part of the normal world again. Maybe that’s how she could help him, by showing him over this Christmas season that there was a life past grief.
“That image of me is often deceiving,” she replied. “Since college, I’ve been more about working than partying.”
“That’s what it takes to get ahead.”
But she hadn’t gotten ahead. She’d basically just spun her wheels. Seeing Cooper sitting there in the house he’d refurbished for his wife sent Roz deeper into despair. Brittany’s life had been too short. She didn’t deserve to die. Grandpa didn’t deserve to be crippled by dementia. Life sure sucked sometimes.
Taking a deep breath, she rallied her thoughts. She shouldn’t let herself become so negative this time of year. It was Christmas. Magic could happen, and she had Cooper to save.
Chapter 5
HANDS UNDER HIS HEAD, Cooper stared up at the ceiling fan, watching it spin slowly. He often thought the king-size bed was too big for a single person, but he hadn’t changed things since Brittany’s death. Sometimes he would sleep upstairs in his old bed, but Roz was asleep there now.
The thought of her in the house caused his heart to thud heavily against his ribs. He muffled a groan, reacting to his strong attraction to her. How long had it been since he’d been with a woman? Out of respect for Brittany, he’d kept to himself during the last months of her illness.
Maybe he should get a dog. Brittany always wanted one, but he’d been against it. Too much trouble he’d told her. He regretted that now. A dog would be nice to snuggle near him in bed. He might not be as lonely. Another living creature in the house might be a good thing.
Cooper turned over and gazed at the wall, still unable to stop the racing thoughts in his head and drift to sleep.
Without warning, the front doorbell rang twice in quick succession. Then someone pounded on the door yelling his name. Cooper sprang out of bed and hurried from the master bedroom in the back of the house to the front door. Glancing at the stairs, he saw Roz stumbling down. She stopped midway and pulled the tie of her robe more securely around her.