by L. J. Woods
“Come visit, or I’ll die.” My voice sounds muffled when he hugs me tighter but I know he hears it. “And don’t fall for another insecure cunt who hates me.”
“I can promise you one of those things.” Nix heads for the back door, the way we came in. Turning around, he asks, “Can you smoke at your grandma’s?”
“If she’s not around.”
Nodding, he reaches into his pocket and tosses me a small bag of gummy bears. “This should be no problem.”
Catching it like we’re on the court, a smile spreads across my face before I pull it to my heart, a finger pointed his way. “Toronto’s finest, ladies and gents.”
When he’s gone, I pop another piece of dough on the flame before I’m back on Gabe’s InstaShot. Tapping back to his last photo, there’s a new comment.
@QueenMariam: When are you coming home? [heart emoji]
My thoughts exactly. Besides classes, I’m only in this town for one other reason. To find out what happened that night. To find out what happened to Elijah.
POP!
A loud spark jumps me back to reality. Spinning toward the burner, my body freezes before I take a step back.
“Cocks!”
It’s in flames. Like, big flames!
Grabbing the ratty towel, I throw it over the small fire but it eats it up, the flames growing larger.
“Fuck. Fuck …” Heart racing, I try to reach the plug but it’s melted into the outlet. “Shit!”
Rushing through the store, I head to the gold and white bathroom to grab an empty trashcan. After filling it with water, I waddle back to the booth, pressing it against my chest.
“Holy shit!” The pail drops from my arms, water splashing onto the floor.
Grandma’s entire booth is on fire, the place filling with smoke. Flames spread like Clementine gossip, moving from the booth to the shelves. It’s quick, swallowing books and merch in its path.
Looking towards the door, I need to get the fuck out of here but I can’t have this place burn to the ground. A set of “prayer blankets” sit on a display near the front and I rush towards them, grabbing all I can to smother the flames.
Aaaand that only makes it worse.
The small fire is now a roaring blaze, my heart pounding against my chest. Looking around, a burning bookshelf blocks my path to the front door while a display of Bibles blocks my way to the back.
I’m trapped. I don’t know where to go without getting burnt.
I don’t wanna die in this store. I don’t wanna die in Clementine.
Hell, do I deserve it? Why should I be here if Elijah isn’t?
Pulling his shirt tighter around me, he’s not here to protect me now. Like the entire summer, Gabe isn’t either. I take a deep breath, inhaling smoke, a burn in my throat. I’m shaking as the flames creep towards me. Fists clenched, I’m thinking about running through the fire like an action hero when my feet lift off the floor.
The scent of cinnamon and tobacco engulfs me, strong arms tight around my waist. My body buzzes, vision hazy but I don’t fight it. I’m flying through the room, over a table and through a door before, “Oomph!” My chest hits the ground, a weight on top of me. The smell of wet grass catches my nose before the weight on my back releases. Coughing, I push myself up off the ground. When I look around, parking lot in front of me, no one’s there.
My phone’s beside me. So is my board and I’m not stupid enough to think that was Jesus. Or an angel.
So, who the fuck was that?
Looking back at the shop, a window breaks, flames pushing out and … this is so not fucking good.
If anyone in this town finds out I caused this, they’ll tell Nani and if Nani finds out, she’ll regret her decision to take me in.
So with my board under my arm, I brush grass stains from my tattered baggy jeans.
And I run.
Two
Delilah
I’m fucked.
Fucked if I don’t get out of sight.
Fucked if someone finds out who started the fire.
With shaky hands, my old board drops to the pristine sidewalk and I take off. Kick, push. Kick, push until the wind blows through my hair. My heart pounds but I keep it moving, determined to get far away from the scene of my crime.
A wailing fire truck passes and my head whips in its direction before I push harder.
Don’t freak out. Stay. Cool.
If I don’t, I’m bound to draw attention to myself.
An Ollie distracts me. So does a Kickflip. Then a few more, but this drama has me tense and I’m out of breath quicker than usual. When I’m almost at the bridge, I stop, hands on my knees, hair falling over my face as I pant for air.
“Delilah?”
I jump, “Fuck!” My head whips up to see a red Beetle pulled to the side of the curb. Peering inside, a girl much too tall for her car sits in the driver’s seat. Her long, skinny body hunches over the wheel, strapped in by a belt that looks way too easy for her to slip out of.
A fairer girl in the passenger seat looks at me, red fingers matching the paint of the car and the hue of her lips. She has the look of a pinup model, hair in perfect curls. “Who is that?” she asks.
“Uh, her grandma used to babysit me.” The driver glances down before she meets my eyes again. “Hazel, remember?”
Right! As if her eyes didn’t give it away. “Hazel! Fuck, hey!” A smile creeps across her face as the memory of her comes flooding back. Hazel’s always been one of the more pleasant characters in this town. Sometimes too pleasant.
“How’re your dads?” I ask, pushing thick hair out of my face as I glance behind me. Do they know it was me? They totally know it was me.
“Think Brian just went by us,” Hazel says. When my eyes return to hers, she glances behind her seat. “Looks like a big fire at Godfrey Books. Wait …” Her eyebrows shoot up, a hand coming to her mouth. Shit, here it comes. My foot on my board, I’m ready to take off again. “Shoot, isn’t Nani’s food booth in there?”
A weight lifts off my chest before I wave her off and I hope she doesn’t notice I was holding my breath. “Yeah, I’m sure it’s fine.” My eyes moving to the empty backseat, I get an idea. “Heading somewhere?”
“Sammy and I have Bible study.” She sticks her thumb at her friend before she pauses. “Do you, maybe want to come?”
“Fuck yeah!” I’m not at all thrilled about spending time doing any kind of study but I’ll take anything that gets me out of sight. “Let’s Bible it up!”
“You can take the front.” Sammy opens her door, stepping out in a pair of shoes with a red heart. Vans. I admire them but I could never afford ‘em, crisper and cleaner than the dirty ones on my feet. Her red ruffled sock slips down her left ankle, revealing a fish tattoo. On her feet, she’s taller than me with the body of a model, a rack I’d die for and … wait a minute. My eyes fall to the tattoo before meeting her wide blue eyes. She quickly pulls up her sock, breaking eye contact.
“No, fucking, shit,” I mutter before it flies out my mouth. “You’re the girl from the video!”
She looks back at Hazel. “You said no one would notice! I can’t. I’m not doing this.”
“Wait!” Hazel calls but Sammy’s already walking away.
Hazel sighs before she gestures to the empty front seat. “All yours.”
While the front seat is more suspect than the back, standing here on this sidewalk is plain stupid. So I climb in, pulling the door closed as a floral aroma enters my nose. “Will she be alright?” I ask, looking back. Sammy’s hands are in fists by her side as she keeps her head down, almost out of view.
“Yeah. I think.” Hazel doesn’t sound convinced. “Let’s go, we’re going to be late.”
“I’m sure God will forgive you.” Reaching in my pocket for the gummies Nix left me, I stick my fingers in the bag without taking it out of my pocket. Popping it in my mouth, I chew through my words. “It’s what he does, right?” My stomach grumbles before I swallow. “H
ey, you think we can stop at a McDougal’s drive-thru on the way?”
She tugs on the shiny gold cross on her leather choker. “I—I guess? But McDougal’s closed in Clementine last year.”
“Major bummer. Well, does anywhere around here have nuggets?” Sitting in the car with her, it’s clear Hazel’s grown into her looks and with her height, she could model—no question. She’s always dressed like she’s from an older era and it’s no different now, a white shirt under a brown plaid jumper. Reaching in the linty pocket of my jeans, I pull out my last tenner. “My treat.”
Hazel blinks at the bill in my hand before she pushes it away. “No, it’s fine,” she sighs again. “I know a place.” She pulls off the curb, both hands on the wheel as I lean back in my seat. Hazel’s car is cleaner than Nix’s. Newer.
Another fire truck whizzes by and my body tenses. Now would be a good time for those gummies to kick in.
“Are you visiting Nani?” Hazel asks. You’d think we’re cousins with the way she calls her that. As far as I know, I’m the only girl in town with a family from Trinidad, but Hazel’s golden complexion has always made me wonder if we share some culture. Not that she knows.
“For the school year.” My eyes follow the flow of the ravine as we cross the bridge to the other side of town. The gospel music coming out of her speakers is faint. It’s the same station Nani listens to. Tapping on a preset to kill the bore-fest, heavy metal blares. “Alright!” Bopping my head, my hair falls in front of my face before Hazel switches it back.
Her head whips to me. “You’re coming to Saint Angels?” I nod, not nearly as excited as she is. “I’m studying Musical Theatre. Minoring in Music and Worship.”
I snort.
“What?” she asks.
“Music and Worship? What does that cover?”
She shrugs, pulling into a large parking lot. The words “Bible Burger” sit lit up next to a cross on top of a building mostly made of glass. “We’re working on developing our spiritual connection to music.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I mutter, making sure to close my mouth as I take in what’s in front of me. With purple and blue lights shining on the building, it looks like something out of a video game. A red carpet leads up to the large black doors and … why is there security?
“It’s not that bad,” she says. “If I’m going to be into music, I might as well do it for our Lord and Saviour.” She pulls into a spot between a sports car and a shiny SUV.
“Aren’t you a little too young for college?”
“I’ll be eighteen next May.” After turning off the car, she tightens the white scrunchie in her hair. “But I skipped ninth grade.”
I laugh. “Of course, you did. At least I’ll know someone.” I’d know another if he wasn’t off hiding like a coward.
“C’mon, let’s hope they’re not busy.” When she climbs out of the car, I’m too shocked to keep up. Not only am I in the ‘burbs, but this excuse for a fast food joint makes me feel like I’m on another planet.
The guard in a penguin suit unlocks a velvet rope as we approach. When we get inside, I can see why Hazel rejected my money. I can’t afford this place. Dark walls compliment gold lighting and fixtures. Big shiny black tables are already set with napkins and cutlery. The smell of fresh-baked bread welcomes us, the restaurant far from capacity. Choosing a table closest to the kitchen, she taps something on the built-in screen before she sets her eyes on the kitchen door. “Shouldn’t be longer than ten minutes.”
I gotta give it to Clementine. This place, as pretentious as it is, is pretty fucking cool. We don’t have anything like this back in the city. Might even put some of the coolest nightclubs to shame.
The gummies kick in, blending with the leftover high from my session with Nix. It makes the purple lights shining down from above look brighter. Vibrant and intense. Makes me almost forget I just burned down an entire fucking bookstore.
“Uhm, Delilah?” My eyes are too busy wandering around this ornate room to answer, gold doves hanging from the ceiling. “I’m sorry about your brother. My dads told me what happened this summer.” Hazel’s condolences pull me out of my daze. My body stiffens like my board all over again. Elijah. That brings me back to what I’m hoping to get out of staying in this town. And it’s much more than these Nazareth Nuggets. Her brows furrow. “Shoot.” She winces. “Should I not have—”
“It’s fine.” Holding out a hand, I waver her off, ignoring the burn in my nose. “Hey, have you seen Gabe?”
“According to the Gods, he’s on an important missionary trip.” She glances at the kitchen then at the clock on her phone. “Super admirable.”
Did I hear that right? “The Gods?” As far as I know, there’s only one god in Pentacatholicism. “You mean the Godfreys?”
Her brows lower, Hazel’s hazels piercing into my eyes. “Really?” She sighs again when I shrug. “Gabriel Godfrey, Milo Murphy, and Adam Armstrong.” A finger wraps around her ponytail when she says the last name. “They’re who we all look up to.”
I snort. “Look up to?”
“I know we’re not supposed to look up to any other gods besides the one above but, the three of them rule the campus. You do not want to get on their bad side. They’ll cast you out like a demon.” She shudders.
“Out of the school?”
“If it’s bad enough.” She nods. “If not, everyone will ignore you anyway. This town is so close-knit that it won’t matter if you’re at school or the church. You won’t exist. Most people can’t take that kind of isolation and end up leaving.”
Talk about indoctrination. “Isn’t that bullying?”
“Not if the school believes they deserve it. Like last year, they cast out a senior girl who got so drunk she went streaking through campus. Double-whammy. Drinking and public nudity. The next day? Not even her professor would talk to her. Had to get her diploma through her sister.”
Shaking my head, I’m way too high not to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. “You put up with that kind of control?”
She grabs the tray from the waiter, thanking him. “I guess it’s nice having people to keep things in order.” Yeah. Nice for them. The only thing I’m about to worship in this town are these nuggets.
Hazel keeps her eye on the clock the entire time I chase my munchies and I’ll admit, these nuggets are damn good. When I get back in the car, Hazel asks, “Do you want me to drop you back at your grandma’s?”
“Nope.” Pulling the belt across my chest, I smile so wide I can see my cheeks. She’s trying to get rid of me but I’m still trying to stay out of sight. Not that I want to go, but youth Bible study sounds like the perfect alibi. It’s also the perfect place to find out about Gabe’s whereabouts. I don’t intend on letting him off that easy. Patting her thigh, I reassure us both. “This’ll be fun.”
Three
Delilah
“We’re so la—what are you doing?”
Another gummy bear is right by my lips when Hazel slams on the break at another light. My back hits the seat before my eyes shift to her, Hazel’s eyes on the package in my lap.
“Is that weed?!”
“It’s a gummy bear,” I respond, my hand frozen.
“Yeah but like, a weed gummy bear?”
“God,” I laugh. “You say that like it’s heroin.”
When I pop it in my mouth, she gasps. “Delilah! You can’t take that before Bible study!”
“Want one?” I raise a brow.
She sighs, “No.”
Smiling, I lean my head against the seat. “You sure? You look like you could use one. Self-care, girl.” Taking a blue one out of the bag, another fire truck whips by us. So I pop another in my mouth before putting one to her lips.
“Delilah!” She smacks it out of my hand as we’re pulling up to the church.
“Daaaamn!” I’m back up in my seat, peering through the windshield at the monstrosity of a building in front of me. It’s a lot bigger than I rememb
er.
A large cross sits on top of the building. Spotlights help to make it visible from Venus. The building looks twice the size of any community center in the city. Almost like a stadium if it weren’t for the intricate stained glass displays. Or the scripture in gold on top of the entrance. The “G” in “Godfrey Ministries” doesn’t outshine the cross but it’s still big enough to make you know who owns the place.
Assholes.
“Is it just me, or did this place get massive?” I ask, picking up my jaw.
“You can do a lot for God when you’re a billionaire.” I knew the Godfreys were rich, but billions? My mom’s in the wrong business. Hazel reaches into the backseat before a Bible plops in her lap. She looks at me, then my outfit, wincing. “We should’ve gotten you to change.”
Looking down, I’m only now noticing the two giant grass stains covering each of my tits. After slipping off the buttoned shirt, I pull my tee over my head. My red sports bra sits underneath, and while my stomach isn’t exactly Janet Jackson, the high waist on my jeans hides my pudge.
When I look at Hazel, she’s staring at me with a twisted mouth, her eyes low like she’s trying to figure me out. “Fine. Let’s go. It’s just a few girls anyway and we’re all God’s children.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask, Hazel, getting out of the car as I look down at my outfit again. “What’s wrong with—” She closes the door but there’s no getting rid of me now. While I’m with her, no one will question where I was when that fire started. No one except whoever pulled me out of it.
Who the fuck was that?
Hazel bangs her palm on the hood of her car. “Come on!”
“Fucking, alright!” I mutter. Pulling my brother’s shirt out of the car, I pull it on my arms to cover some skin as I make my way inside.
The lobby looks like the entrance of a banquet hall, decorated in gold and wood. Vines climb up an entire wall, a waterfall in the middle. My nose twists. It’s like, okay, we get it—the Godfreys have more money than the rest of us. But instead of helping out people in need, why not add another golden display of baby Jesus to the church. Really, there’s a golden display of baby Jesus.