by L. J. Woods
“Delilah Daniels.” Chin to the sun, I extend a hand.
“Hey, Coach, speaking of drugs,” Gabe pipes up. “Delilah has some.”
“Woah, no I don’t.” My head whips to him, his expression as solid as his chest. I wish I did. “I swear, Coach.” Pushing my hands in my pockets I reach for the fabric, pulling it out. A small baggie of blue pills flies out with it. When I look up at the coach he looks as confused as I am. “That’s not mine,” I say before my eyes squeeze shut. Fuck. That’s exactly what a person who has drugs would say.
Turning to Gabe, he leans against the wall like he’s in an ad. The sunlight catches that slicked brown hair on the top of his fade, making it shine like he’s modelling pomade. “Told you.” He pushes his hands in his pockets.
“Miss Daniels? You’re not on the team but we still don’t tolerate drug use of any kind at Saint Angels Academy.”
“Listen,” I explain, my hands outstretched. “I know I look like trouble but you gotta be—”
“I’ll escort you to Dean McQueen.” Gabe doesn’t even reach out to help me as the coach grabs my arm. As he leads me towards the main building, a crowd grows around us and well, this is just fucking perfect. A solid introduction. The new girl with a drug habit.
Gabriel’s voice comes from across the quad as we make our way through the glass doors. “Bye, Delilah!”
Seven
Delilah
“Delilah, this is Saint Angels. Not The Wire. You can’t come here and ruin a good thing for these kids.”
Dean McQueen slumps into his big, leather chair, his office musty and dark.
“Why? Because you’re already doing that so well?” I raise a brow.
Gabriel Godfrey wreaks havoc again. And here I am, picking up the pieces.
Again.
A cross hangs between the windows behind him. On his desk sits a family portrait. Totally staged. All their smiles force to the side of their heads like the cameraman’s holding a gun. That’s when my eyes land on his daughter. Mariam.
McQueen pinches the bridge of his nose before he gets up from his seat, moving around so he can press his ass against his desk. The room goes silent as he reaches for a caramel out of a glass bowl. He’s young for a Dean, albeit balding and the pea-green blazer he wears doesn’t help him look any less frumpy.
“This could mean expulsion.” His hand falls to my knee. That gets me to sit up, eyeing his hand. “But for the sake of Grandma Daniels, I’m willing to let that pass.”
Looking behind me at the locked door, blinds closed, my body stiffens. “Care to take your hand off my knee there, bud?”
He looks at his hand before he laughs, crossing his wrists as his eyes trail from my messy hair to the knot on my shirt. “Your outfit isn’t up to code either. We appreciate your creativity but this won’t work.”
“Because I have a vagina?” Sitting up, I rest my elbows on my knees, showing off my “man-spread.” I can tell him where the drugs actually came from. Gabriel. But unlike the golden boy, I’m not a snitch.
Walking behind me, his hands fall on my shoulders in a firm grip. “Delilah is a biblical name, yes?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“The seductress?”
“Can you—” Trying to push forward, he pulls me back, pressing me against the seat.
“Is that what you’re trying to do here, Delilah?” he asks. “Because we have a place for girls like you.”
“Hell? Because right now, I’m not sure I’m the one headed there.”
A knock on the office window gets McQueen to back off. “Focus on your classes, Delilah, but don’t think you’re off the hook. You’re on yard duty for the rest of the week.” Walking to the wooden windowed door, he opens it. “If you don’t want to face expulsion, you’ll smarten up. My secretary will get you settled.”
Hazel’s waiting for me when I’m finally out of the office, an orange vest in hand.
“Oh no!” Leaning off the white column she looks at me with wide eyes, clutching an expensive laptop to her chest. The main hall looks like something out of The White House. Royal blue walls offset the white crown moulding. A chandelier dazzles from the high ceiling. I’d be able to admire it if I wasn’t pissed off. Confused. “Are you okay?”
Two girls pass as I lean on the column next to her, letting my hair cover my face. They whisper something, looking back at us but I only catch the end.
“Should have never let her in here.”
“Hazel Hawthorne is friends with the outcast?”
“What a lost sheep.”
So it begins.
“What happened?” Hazel leans closer.
“Yard duty.” I shrug. “Better than expulsion, I guess.” I won’t be able to get to Gabriel if I’m expelled. This little distraction he pulled won’t stop me either.
“That’s such a bummer.” She straightens up. “Well, they’re pretty strict on drugs. You’re lucky you got off that easy.”
I groan, “It wasn’t mine.”
“Whatever you say, Delilah.” The tone in her voice says she doesn’t believe me. After all the gummies I took last night, I wouldn’t either. “Here I’ll take you to class. I did the tour last week.”
Hazel takes me on a walk through the school while I replay the conversation with Gabe in my mind. He’s always been a bit of a prick but he’s never been that hostile or that cruel. Not to me. That kiss last night wasn’t an apology at all and that only confuses me more.
“We have three student hangouts but everyone usually stays in the cafeteria,” Hazel explains. I’m surprised at how many students can afford to go here. Or want to go here. If my grandma didn’t call in a favour from McQueen, there’s no way I’d be able to set foot in this place.
As we move through the campus, I start to feel like an ant in an amusement park. Teeny compared to the monstrous buildings and massive green spaces. It’s like a suburb in a suburb. One with pristine paths, sprawling fields and two indoor ice-rinks. After that, the bowling alley, stable and gun club hardly make me flinch.
As we walk through campus, I keep my eyes open for Gabriel. He doesn’t make himself easy to find but his face is all over the school. In trophy cases, in team photos, he’s even on the student council. What a fucking joke. He’s still trying to keep up appearances but I know the truth. And he knows I do too.
“And this is the chapel!” Hazel’s voice breaks me out of my thoughts. She stands in front of a building that looks like it belongs in Europe, stone columns and stained glass, gargoyles decorating the tall towers. “Wait, Delilah!”
I’m halfway up the steps when she calls my name and when I pull on the door it’s even more beautiful on the inside. I’m in the main room, sunlight streaming in through coloured windows. “Caw!” With my eyes to the vaulted ceiling, my voice echoes around the room. Wooden pews fill the space, a cross decorating the shiny aisle. “This is pretty fucking sweet.”
“I don’t think you can say that in here.” Even Hazel’s quiet voice echoes around me.
My eyes land on Jesus with a crown of thorns around his head. “You know, he can’t hear you.” Flipping my board down I take a slow roll to the front of the room until I’m in front of a golden altar. “Do students actually come here?”
“Not really. We have mass like once a month with some special events here and there. But unless you actually want to pray, which most students don’t, this place is pretty much empty.” Her eyes wander the room with me. “Which is sad. It’s peaceful.”
“And the perfect place to hang away from the weirdos?”
“Can’t.” Hazel checks her watch. “I have a class on hymns in twenty minutes.”
With a snort, I roll back to the wall by the door. “It’s the first day of the semester. Stay. You won’t miss much.” Sliding down the wall, my butt lands on my deck.
“Don’t you have class?” Hazel crosses her arms. “And you’re already in trouble.”
“Then this shouldn’t be a problem
.” Pulling my knees to my chest I ask the one thing taking over my mind. “Tell me everything you know about Gabriel Godfrey.”
By lunch, I’ve heard a lot about what Gabe’s been up to. While it’s everything I already know, it’s absolute bullshit.
“I’ve been cast out.” Sammy slumps into the seat next to me in the bustling college cafeteria, hoodie still on her head. While Nani gave me cash to get lunch, I don’t think she realizes what lunch at SAA means. It wasn’t enough for anything, so Hazel got a pizza big enough for the both of us to split. It’s more like flatbread. Pesto, zucchini and goat cheese. Pretentious.
“Oh, no,” Hazel sighs, wiping her mouth with a white cloth. “You guys are having a doozy of a first day.”
My eyes scan the room for Gabe. Still haven’t seen him since this morning. A whiff of garlic and basil hit my nose and if the pizza is pretentious, this room fits it. Plants and origami birds hang from the ceiling. Leather sofas and cushioned chairs surround glossy black tables. It’s like I’m having lunch on Fifth Avenue.
“This sucks!” Sammy’s head falls on the table and luckily for her, it’s spotless. “I’m off the swim team, out of the scuba club and it’s only my first year.”
Hazel places a hand on Sammy’s back. “At least you found out he didn’t send it.”
My mind flashes back to the rug. “Well, if he didn’t, then who did?” I ask.
A tray with a mountain of salad slams on our table. “Hey! I need to talk to you.” Mariam’s icy gaze bores into me. When I kick out a chair, she doesn’t sit down, eyeing my dirty shoes with the same twist of the nose her dad gives. She’s quick to the point. “Stay away from Gabriel.”
“Why?”
She rolls her eyes, hesitating like she’s thinking about an answer. “He’s not in a good place right now.” Waiting for an explanation, I pop one of these fancy mushrooms in my mouth. It’s not as good as it looks. Earthy. Muddy. “He’s not gonna be the person he’s meant to be with you around.”
“What does that even mean?” Sammy pipes up and I’m thinking the same thing.
Mariam looks her way. “Sammy, focus on who sent that sex tape.” Sammy’s jaw drops, looking at Mariam with disbelief.
“Well, that was rude,” I say, sitting up in my seat. “What’s this really about?” Narrowing my eyes, I’m looking for her angle.
“Nothing!” Mariam curls her lips, cheeks turning red. “Just stay away, okay? It’s for his own good.”
“Woooh!”
The entire cafeteria erupts in cheers and applause and speak of the fucking devil.
Gabriel appears, his cronies beside him in red and white hockey jerseys. He has a hoodie on instead, pulled over his head. His dark eyes peak out as he makes his way to a table in the middle. It’s already filled with food from end to end. Burgers. Steaks. Seafood.
“Yeah, Hammer!” A boy in an SAA sweater pats him on his back. Gabe shrugs him off, moving towards their personal buffet.
Rising to my feet, I ask, “Why don’t we bring this convo to the guy in question?” Mariam’s brows furrow when I smile. She’s about to learn that no one tells me what to do. Not even the dean’s daughter.
She tries to stop me but I’m too close. Adam notices me first, nudging Gabe with his elbow. When Gabe looks up, his eyes turn to slits and I see him mumble a few curses before I’m in front of him. Mariam follows me, taking the seat beside him with a hand on his back as if to prove a point. He brushes her hand away.
“Really?” I ask. “You sent your girlfriend to tell me to back off?”
“Hey there to you too, Delilah.” Milo winks, tipping his chair back enough so he can see my ass. “Nice pants.” Adam smacks him all while Gabriel ignores me, taking a thick piece of steak from a stack in the middle.
Fine.
“You’re gonna answer me.” My Chuck hits the top of the table before I hoist myself up. Standing tall in front of them, I ignore everyone’s eyes on me, boring my gaze to Gabe’s. His jaw ticks, a vein in his thick neck protruding. Now I have his attention. “We got a lot to talk about.”
He swipes at my ankle but I move it in time. His fist bangs on the table, the vibration going up my leg and through my body. “Delilah, get down.”
“Where should I start?” Pacing the table, I lean over, taking a piece of shrimp from a bowl. Swivelling around, I catch his gaze again, taking a bite before flicking the tail with my nail. He looks as mad as I was that night. As mad as I’ve been all summer. “Let’s start with that kiss.”
“Is that what this is about? A kiss?” He’s on his feet now, his loud voice booming through the room. Right through me. “You want me to kiss you!?” His fists clenched against the table, I’ve awoken the beast. “Newsflash, Delilah, I don’t kiss the daughter of a whore. If I do, I definitely don’t mean it.”
Everything slows, my stomach rolling. My hands coil into fists as I take a step forward. “You wouldn’t.”
A smile spreads across that smooth face. “That’s right. We have a treat here at Saint Angels.” His arms spread as he turns to the crowd we’ve created. “The daughter of Thunder Daniels stands in our midsts.”
“Stop it.” My teeth clench together.
“In fact, Delilah’s mom has made some of the greatest movies for despicable, broken, heathens like her daughter. Thunder Does Toronto? Spank My Big Fat Ass Twenty-One?” He turns around to meet my blurry stare. “But Twenty-Two was better, right? More dicks?”
The room erupts in chatter, all eyes on me as a devilish grin grows on his face.
“Suck my dick, Godfrey!” I spit, nostrils burning. I’m fighting the urge to glance around the room and count how many students are staring. I’m all for owning the attention I get, but this? This isn’t the type I want.
Gabe grabs my hand, that same old spark startling me. He pulls me down to his level with a force I can’t fight. Cinnamon and tobacco take over before his voice lands in my ear. “I’ll stop if you will.”
“Why are you being such a cock? What are you hiding?”
His grip tightens. Pulling me closer, my Chucks tip on the edge of the table. My chest falls on his. Hard. Firm. It’s the only thing keeping me from falling on my face. Looking up in his narrowed eyes, Gabe is intimidating but I fight it, narrowing my eyes right back.
“Why don’t you tell me what you’re hiding, Dee?” he asks.
“I’m not the one hiding anything.”
“No?” He lowers his head. “What about the fact that you almost burnt down my parents’ store?”
“I fucking knew that was you.”
“Unless you want that secret out, keep your distance, Daniels.” He pushes me back on the table, tossing me like a puppet. Turning on his heels, he makes his way to the exit. “Do that and you might make it through the year in one peace.”
Eight
Gabriel
Church feels like a funfair.
Right now, anyway.
Sitting in the front row, the colourful lights dance around the room as the choir director leads everyone in song. When the organ reaches a high note, it sounds heavenly ringing through my head. Especially when I’m fucked up on Adam’s supply.
Closing my eyes, my ass melts into the soft cushion in the pew as I imagine I’m in another music video. One where my family doesn’t exist.
One where Delilah doesn’t exist.
Especially not right across the aisle from me at a Thursday night service.
I’m pretending like I don’t see the bite of her lip whenever she glances this way. Like I don’t hear her pesky whisper when she calls my name. Or like I don’t see her perky nipples poking through that old “Silly Toons” tee. She never wears a bra. Not even to church apparently.
Didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand on campus today but I was cranky. Hungover. After pinning my stash on her, I was also out of drugs. Can’t say I didn’t warn her.
Can’t say it didn’t stir up something inside me. The back and forth. The fight. The fire.
Delilah’s gotten tough and it looks as good on her as those shorts clinging to her toned thighs. An ass and abs as firm as that board she rides. Bigger tits than I remember that bounce around whenever she’s popping an ollie. The thoughts going through my head today should have me burning in this very room. Should have her brother punching me in the face.
I still don’t have an answer for that kiss. I was so fucked up I had no idea it was her and now I can’t stop craving it. It was perfect. The high I’ve been chasing forever.
Peace.
Silence.
But she’s forbidden fruit. Like the apple from Eden and there’s no way I can take another bite. With my tolerance getting back to where it was, I shouldn’t have to worry about any more incidents.
“My brother died.”
Her voice brings me back to reality, her words a bullet to my head. A shot to my high. What the fuck is she doing up there? And who the fuck gave her a mic?
The spotlight shines on her, giving height to that small body with curves in all the right places. And she doesn’t even have to show it off for the guys at school to gawk. My eyes land on hers, glowing ambers that seem much brighter than I remember. After what happened this summer, I don’t trust her up there. Don’t trust her in this town. Of all the people to have my back, it’s supposed to be her, but today proves she’s like the rest of these clowns. Out to bring me down.
She hasn’t said anything for a while, her body frozen, gaze locked on mine. An older woman eggs her on but I’m sending her threats with my mind, telling her to get the fuck down. The more attention she draws to herself, the worse it is for me. For her.
“My brother died a few months ago.” Pushing that wavy hair out of her face, she straightens her stance. Her hands grip the podium like this is as hard for her as it is for me. “I still don’t know what happened that night.” Her brows furrow like she’s still trying to piece it together.
My nostrils flare and I want to run. I want to get the fuck out of here and find my next line. My next escape. I try to get her attention but it’s hard to speak, my throat closing in when I catch that blur in her eye.