The bottle flows through darkness, twisting as if fighting to win its last chance, and then I hear a shriek, acute, prolonged, almost unbearable, and the bottle shatters. Ludwig's embryo catches fire. His mother the queen is a cloud of smoke around him, I see her face appear, dissolve in a pained scatter of rage and tears, exploding as a firework in the darkness of the endless night.
Once the last ashes have burned into nothingness, silence falls.
Now that I have achieved what I had fought for and paid my dues, now that the royal family is safe, can I be happy?
I've given all I had. Have I gained the right to freely roam this desolate vastness where I need to loose myself and which I need to explore to feel alive?
Yes, Space is mine again. And yet a pang of sadness runs through me.
Reunion and love, the book tells me.
That's my destiny too.
I landscape the scenery, seeking clues, but nothing is in sight. I take a deep breath, ready to leap into blackness, when a pulsating dot of light unexpectedly appears at an undefined distance.
Chapter 50
I keep my eyes on the pulsating dot, my hope revived. Perhaps I am not alone. Gushes of wind from outer space start to blow, and I suddenly realize that I am almost naked, barely covered by some battered remnants of clothing loosely hanging on me. I am tempted to ball up to try and warm my skinny body, but I stand there, tense towards the pulsing light.
I wonder if it will ever approach me and detect my presence, and right when I am asking myself the question it flashes with renewed intensity, grows bigger and splits into two racing dots.
"Wow!" I exclaim, smiling for the first time after a time too long to remember.
The dots become bigger, and now I am undeniably sure it is coming my way. It gets closer and closer, and at last I can clearly distinguish two spaceships. One is mine! I know it's mine, I can recognize it!
I raise my arms, exhilarated, and scream "Hello!" with uncontainable happiness. I am still jumping in the air, unable to contain my enthusiasm, when an arm elongates from the ship, reaching towards me.
I hop on the platform, praying that I'll find Arthur on my spaceship. I close my eyes and begin whispering his name, as if the intensity of my thoughts could cause him to incarnate before me.
My eyes are still closed when the arm stops moving, and I hear a mechanic click. I open them and a door opens, letting me in the protected atmosphere of the ship. The winds subside and a suffused light envelops me, soothing and warm.
And I see Arthur.
"Iris!" he greets me, as I rush toward him, hugging him tighter than I ever have, unable to speak.
"Hey, calm down. You've made it at last!" he smiles, gripping my shoulder as he observes me.
"Of course I've made it! What do you think?" I laugh, as the past struggles appear suddenly irrelevant.
"I was sure you'd make it, don't get so defensive," he tells me, and I laugh again.
"I'm not defensive, I just want to know who's in the other spaceship out there," I reply, playing chill.
"Ah, I was just wondering why you hadn't asked yet," Arthur winks.
"So?" I insist.
"So," he echoes, taking me by the hand and bringing me to the control room.
"Are you ready?" he asks, while pressing a button.
Chapter 51
A membrane shivers and buzzes, and finally the gate between the spaceships open.
My mother, my father and my brother are there. Mother tends her arms towards me, and hugs me first, tears running from her eyes.
"I am so sorry child, I am so terribly sorry we worked you so hard. I knew you'd make it, I always had faith in you," she tells me.
"You were wrong mother, I was so close to failing," I say, pulling back.
"Iris," father says, calmly.
"Father," I reply, bowing my head slightly.
I take my mother's hand and repeat, "I was so close to failing."
"We were so close to failing," he tells me.
I stay silent.
"It doesn't matter, because we made it. And if you make it once, you know you can make it again," says my brother.
I smile, slightly resentful for reasons I cannot ascertain and yet relieved because of their presence.
"Someone wants to thank you," my father tells me after a pause.
"Thank me?" I repeat, rounding my eyes.
Matt and Wilhelm step forward.
"I never understood what you were holding against Arthur," I tell them before they get the chance to greet me.
"Everyone here burdened you, and Arthur was the worst of them all," Matt says
Four pair of eyes turn towards him, their expression half reproachful, half sad.
"Why the worst?" I want to know.
"Because you loved him, and you still do. Because of that he felt entitles to burden you more than all others," Wilhelm says.
"What on earth-"Arthur begins to say, but I place a finger on his lips.
"What I went through was my journey. Mine, you see," I say, and silence falls.
"It was mine because I chose to go through with it, whichever the reason," I continue.
My father nods.
"But it is not over," I conclude.
My mother looks at me, tending her body towards me.
"What comes next, my child?" she asks me.
"I remember the book, and there is more in it than what I've lived so far. I've opened this door, but that's not it," I reply.
"Yes. What did the book say?" she prods me.
"Discovery and curiosity, and a million bodies," I reply.
"What does this mean?" my brother asks me.
"Give me the time for a sleep and a dream, and I will tell you," I smile, as five pair of questioning eyes stare at me.
"I am really tired," I say, walking towards what I remember used to be my bedroom.
Chapter 52
I yawn, and open my eyes slowly.
"Have you partied yesterday night or was my lecture that boring, young lady?" professor Arthur Miles asks.
My defiance burns against his Miles aplomb as he looks at me, his eyes ironic but attentive.
"After all we've gone through I don't even know how you came up with your lecture on time. And don't play dumb, ok?" I say.
Arthur looks at me, intrigued.
"I know you remember where we were just before I went to sleep," I continue.
Arthur arches his brows.
"Once upon a time you and I travelled to a place of death to find something of infinite value. There was a large metal door, but I hesitated in front of it, swaying between awe, fear and desire. You stood beside me and took my hand, and for that one instant I felt safe. This is what I told you when I last stepped in your office, after this same lecture. Do you remember?" I ask.
Arthur Miles cannot speak.
"Do you remember?" I ask again.
"You had this same dream?" Arthur Miles whispers.
"This same dream?yes. Was it a dream, Arthur?", I say.
He's still silent.
"Our journey isn't over Arthur," I tell him.
"No, it isn't," he admits.
"Discovery and curiosity," I recite.
Arthur looks at me and smiles. He starts to shuffle some ruffled scientific papers lying on his desks, and produces the book from under them.
"Have you and I been reading the same sources lately?" he winks.
I smile, and he smiles back, before turning serious.
"Yes, we cannot stop. But why can't we ever stop? Why do we have to be tormented like this all the time?" he asks me.
"Because we are a million bodies," I tell him.
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A Million Bodies Page 9