A small awkward laugh snuck from her, and she turned up the corner of her mouth. “I can tell.”
He sent her an expression of mock affront. “Hey! I’m not that bad!”
The movie music swelled, and he swooped her around in grander twirls. Annie clung to him to keep her balance, her eyes brightening.
Haley noticed them dancing and jumped up from the floor. She giggled and clapped her hands. “Me, too. I want to dance!”
As her daughter twirled and pirouetted around the floor, Annie’s smile grew, and her cheeks flushed. A genuine smile blossomed on her lips, and her face glowed—all the encouragement Jonah needed to continue swirling around the confines of her living room, colliding with Haley. When the little girl tumbled onto her bottom, he broke his hold on Annie long enough to scoop the girl onto his hip.
Haley squealed her delight as the three of them continued to dance and spin. Annie’s laughter joined her daughter’s giggles, and Jonah’s chest filled with a bittersweet pleasure and satisfaction. Annie’s smile and lyrical laugh were intoxicating. He’d give anything to know he could make Annie this happy for longer than a few moments of silliness. As he’d suspected, her smile transformed her face from attractive and intriguing to knockout beautiful.
Haley wiggled to be put down again, and he let her slide to the floor without breaking his hold around Annie’s waist. Once Haley scampered down the hall, calling something about her princess crown, Annie lifted a grateful smile and a teary gaze to his.
Jonah’s heart clenched, and he tucked Annie under his chin as they made another circuit around her small apartment. Like that afternoon, the crush of her petite body against his made his nerve endings crackle and spark. Holding Annie, the sweet scent of her shampoo filling his senses, taunted his libido. He craved her kiss, the touch of her skin against his.
But as they danced, her smile warming him to his core, the hum of his body took a dangerous turn. His heart was involved. Her laughter bubbled inside him like a disinfectant cleansing the poison and pain from his soul.
The music from the DVD slowed, and Annie lifted a heartbreaking gaze that punched Jonah in the gut.
He was in trouble. The mix of emotion filling Annie’s damp eyes was much like that of the Disney princess as the dance with her true love ended. Longing and reluctance, gratitude and regret, and—probably the hardest for Jonah to bear—hope.
The last thing he’d wanted to do was build false hopes for Annie. He was no one’s prince. He couldn’t give her a storybook ending. Dancing with her had been a mistake. Encouraging her romantic notions only set her up for more heartache when he couldn’t fulfill her happily ever after.
But, damn it, seeing her smile, knowing he’d made her laugh, giving her even a few moments of happiness after the gut-wrenching day she’d had had been worth it. Hadn’t it? Or was it just his own selfish need to feel he’d slayed a dragon for her, given her a few minutes of lighthearted joy when the rest of her world seemed so difficult?
Even after the ballad stopped, Annie stood close to him, her eyes searching his as if they held all the answers to her problems.
His pulse hammered. Big trouble.
When he brushed a hand along her cheek, she trembled and raised her lips. Need slammed him, knocking the breath from him. As much as he wanted to kiss her, he couldn’t, wouldn’t mislead her about his ability to give her a fairy-tale ending. Instead, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and stepped back.
A shadow of disappointment, colored with embarrassment, dimmed the spark in her eyes as she stepped out of his arms. Guilt kicked him in the shin.
“Look, Jonah!” Haley pranced back into the living room wearing a plastic tiara. “I have a crown like Giselle’s.”
Her daughter’s arrival provided a welcome distraction, and an excuse to tear himself from the temptation Annie served. He cleared the thickness from his throat. “Hey, princess. Don’t you look pretty?”
“Can you dance with me again?” Haley lifted her arms to him.
Annie hugged herself, clearly still fighting an onslaught of emotions. “Haley, I...I think it’s your bedtime.”
Jonah gritted his teeth, struggling to sort out for himself the shift in his feeling toward Annie. So much had changed today. He’d be wise to leave, to get some distance to clear his head.
Haley pouted, and her shoulders slumped. “But, Mommy—”
“No whining, please.”
Jonah tweaked the girl’s chin. “Hey, another time. I promise.”
Annie avoided his eyes as she stooped to collect Ben’s blocks and pile them in a basket. “You, too, Ben. Go get your jammies for me. Haley, brush your teeth.”
The kids, with mixed degrees of protest, toddled toward their bedrooms, leaving him alone with Annie. He crouched beside her and helped collect blocks.
“You have a beautiful smile. You should use it more often.”
His comment stopped her. Her hand hovered over a block, shaking. Finally, she looked up, and confusion and pain clouded the dark eyes that moments ago had held such joy and hope. “What do you want from me?”
He rocked back on his heels. “Only for you to be happy. And safe.”
“Do you see yourself as part of that happiness? Is that why you’re here?”
His gut pitched. Why was he here? What was he doing inserting himself in her family dynamic if he had no intention of staying?
“I’m here because you had a rough day, and I wanted to be sure you were all right. I thought you could use a hand with the kids tonight.”
And because he knew Farrout and his cohorts still saw her as a threat to be dealt with. She was still in danger.
His answer clearly didn’t satisfy her. She frowned as she moved the basket of blocks to a corner of the room, then dropped onto the sofa. “Why do you feel that’s your job? I’m not your responsibility. You don’t owe me anything. It’s not your fault my life is in the pitiful shape it’s in.”
“Maybe not, but I want to help.” He took the seat beside her on the couch and resisted the urge to brush her cheek again. The wary distance that had returned in her eyes told him his touch would be unwelcome.
She picked at a loose thread on the sofa cushion for a moment, then raised a level gaze. “I’m not looking for someone to rescue me. I refuse to depend on anyone ever again.” Steely determination colored her tone.
“Especially not a man.”
She squared her shoulders and scowled. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.” He raised a hand to interrupt when she opened her mouth to protest. “I don’t blame you. The men in your life so far gave you reason to be cautious. But I’m not your husband. I’m not Hardin. If you don’t want me in your life, I’ll leave. But I’m worried about what’s going on at the diner and how it could all play out. I want you to be safe, and I want you to know you can trust me.”
She stared at him for several long, tense seconds, gnawing her bottom lip. Every one of her conflicting emotions played across her doelike eyes as if he were watching her thoughts on a monitor.
“I’m so scared, Jonah. Not just because of the mess at the diner. I’m scared of the future. When I think about raising those two babies by myself, supporting them with my pathetic paycheck, trying to teach them right from wrong...I feel overwhelmed. Alone. But...” She shivered and rubbed a hand along her arm. “But when I think about getting involved with someone again... Oh, God, that scares me the most. I don’t want to spend my life alone, but how can I risk...?” She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. “What if they turn out to be like Walt?”
Her honesty grabbed him by the throat, simultaneously spreading warmth through him and chilling him to the bone. While he was flattered that she trusted him enough to reveal her fears, her worries echoed the doubts that had dogged him, haunted him with increasing frequency as his feelings for Annie deepened.
While he’d cut off his own hand before he’d ever raise it against a woman or a child, his memories of famil
y life, the legacy of his own painful youth warned him away whenever he considered marriage. Family. Children.
Despite the drumbeat of caution pounding in his brain, Jonah dragged a hand down his jaw and looked for a way to reassure Annie. He wouldn’t lie to her. But he wanted so badly to give her even a morsel of the hope she deserved.
“When the right man comes along, you will have the wisdom and discernment that your experience gives you to know, in your heart, whether he’s like Walt or not.” The notion of Annie with another man scraped him raw. But if he couldn’t give her what she needed, didn’t she deserve to be happy with someone else?
Of course. But that didn’t make it any easier for him to think of another man touching her, holding her, making love to her.
His gut knotted, and his mouth dried, but he forced the words she needed to hear from his tongue. “When the time is right, you’ll know you’re ready to commit yourself to a relationship.”
Her expression softened. “I want to believe that.”
“Then do. I believe it. One hundred percent.”
The tender longing that lit her eyes made it difficult to stay on his side of the couch. As much as he wanted his next breath, he wanted to press her back in the cushions and convince her with his kiss that he was the one who could make her happy, that he was the one she was looking for.
But Haley ran into the room, providing the diversion he needed to regain his focus and control.
“Done brushing. See?” She flashed her teeth.
Annie seemed equally relieved for the distraction. She lifted a corner of her mouth in a grin of approval. “Very good. Now scoot to bed. I’ll be back in a second to read you a book.”
“Can Jonah read to me tonight?” her daughter asked, trotting over to flop against Jonah’s legs.
Annie shook her head, clearly ready to protest.
Though his gut tightened at the notion of helping with something as domestic and familial as tucking Haley into bed, Annie was exhausted, and if reading Haley a book would help her, he’d read a whole library.
“If it’s okay with your mom.” Jonah sent Annie an inquisitive glance. “I don’t mind. Really. You tend to Ben.”
Her stunned look told him what words didn’t. He ex-husband had never volunteered to help put the children to bed. When it came to raising her kids, she’d been as alone in her marriage as she was now.
Haley tugged his hand, and Jonah rose to follow the girl to her bedroom. She scampered under the covers and grabbed a book from the foot of the bed. “This one. It’s my favorite.”
Jonah glanced down at the title. Skippyjon Jones.
“And you have to do the Spanish accent like Mommy does,” Haley added as she scrunched down under her sheet.
“A Spanish accent, huh?” Jonah scratched his chin, already having second thoughts about the task he’d volunteered for. He cracked the book open and began reading the humorous tale of a Siamese cat who thought he was a Chihuahua. Hearing a noise in the hallway, he glanced up and saw Annie’s shadow on the wall outside Haley’s door. Annie hovered by the door, out of sight, no doubt listening—whether protectively monitoring his interaction with her daughter or simply curious to hear his attempted Spanish accent, he couldn’t say. It didn’t matter. In her place, he’d do the same.
He turned the page and continued reading.
“Jonah?” Haley interrupted.
“Yeah?”
Haley angled her head on her pillow to peer up at him with brown eyes, much like her mother’s. “Do you think my mommy’s pretty?”
He grinned and nodded. “I do. I think she’s beautiful.”
“She has a scar on her face.” Haley wrinkled her brow as if deep in thought.
“I know. So do I. See?” He pointed to the scar over his eyebrow. “I’ve had that since I was just a kid.”
She winced. “Does it hurt?”
“Not anymore.”
“My daddy broke Mommy’s cheek. She had to have surg’ry. That’s why she’s got a scar.”
He heard a soft gasp from the hall, and his chest tightened imagining Annie’s concern for her daughter.
Please, God, give me the right words for this little girl.
“You know your daddy can’t hurt you or your mom anymore. You’re safe.”
She nodded matter-of-factly. “Daddy’s in jail.”
“Right.” He looked down at the book again, half expecting Haley to ask another question, but the girl stared silently at the stuffed cat clutched in her hands. He could let the subject drop, finish reading the book and escape the topic relatively unscathed. But avoidance never solved anything. More important, he needed Haley—and Annie—to know his true feelings. “You know what? I think your mom’s scar is part of what makes her so beautiful to me.”
Haley glanced up, giving him a funny, wrinkle-nosed grin. “Really?”
“Really. To me, it’s like a badge of courage. A sign of her love for you and of her incredible inner strength. Even though your daddy’s in jail, she’s made a new life for you and Ben. Sometimes it’s hard to be a mommy, but she’s one of the best mommies I’ve ever met.”
Haley smiled and bobbed her head.
“Her scar tells me she’s willing to do whatever it takes to protect the people she loves.” Jonah tapped the girl’s nose with his finger. “That’s pretty brave, huh? Pretty awesome.”
“Yeah.” Haley hugged her stuffed cat tighter. “And that’s why you think she’s pretty?”
Jonah shrugged. “That and her beautiful eyes, and her smile—”
“And her hair?” Haley volunteered, grinning.
“Yep.”
“And her mouth?” She giggled.
She’d digressed to silliness now, and Jonah groaned internally. He scrambled mentally for the best way to nip the laundry list in the bud. “Head to toe. I think all of your mom is beautiful. Okay?”
“Like a princess?”
“Sure. Like a princess.”
“Are you her prince?”
“I, uh—” His mouth opened like that of a fish out of water. He should have seen that one coming. Conscious of Annie still listening at the door, he chose his response carefully. “Aren’t princes supposed to be handsome and charming?”
“You’re handsome and charming,” Haley said guilelessly.
Jonah chuckled and scratched his jaw. “Well...thanks, sweetie. But I think your mom gets the deciding vote on that.”
“Mr. Jonah?”
Fearing another side trip into territory he didn’t want to cover, Jonah waggled the book in front of her. “Shouldn’t we finish the story now?”
Haley ignored his question and sat up in her bed. Leaning in to hug him, she whispered, “I hope Mommy votes for you.”
His heart lurched, and a tangled mix of emotions squeezed his chest. For someone who didn’t want to be part of a family again, he’d sure gotten himself in deep with Annie’s. So how did he get out without hurting her or her kids?
And why did the idea of future bedtime stories stir such a bittersweet longing in his soul?
Chapter 16
Annie dabbed at the tears tickling her cheeks as Jonah stepped out of Haley’s room and pulled the door shut. Her heart gave a heavy throb, so full of affection and gratitude, she thought it might burst.
Clearing his throat quietly, he studied her face. With the pad of his thumb, he dried one of her tears and twitched the corner of his mouth into an awkward smile. “I see you heard my attempt at a Spanish accent. Maybe if we’re lucky, the child won’t have nightmares of monsters who roll their Rs.”
She grinned through her tears. “Joke all you want. But what you did for her...for me...just now...”
A knot choked her throat, but she forced it down, determined to tell Jonah what was in her heart. “Just so you know—” She rose on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning into his large, taut body. “I think you are both handsome and charming.” She kissed his cheek. “Gentle and kind.” She brush
ed her lips over his. “A fierce protector and an honorable man.”
He heaved a weary sigh and stepped back, his gaze troubled. “Annie, I’m no prince.”
She studied the deep lines of worry and fatigue in his craggy face. “I...I’m not looking for a prince.”
A muscle in his jaw twitched, and he met her gaze evenly. “Aren’t you?”
Annie squared her shoulders, shoving down the knot of disappointment that rose in her chest. “I know better than to believe in fairy tales.”
He shook his head. “You can’t lie to me. I saw the look in your eyes tonight, the longing and hope.”
She scowled, disturbed by the notion he saw through her so easily. “What do you mean? When? What look?”
Jonah edged close again. He tucked her hair behind
her ear, leaving the jagged scar on her face exposed, much as her soul felt bared when he drilled her with his dark eyes. “You deserve more than I have in me to give. I will do everything in my power to make sure you and your kids are safe, to stop the people responsible for scamming Michael. But I don’t know how to be what you need after that.”
A bitter pain slashed through Annie, and she jerked away from his gentle caress. Her spine stiff, she glared at him through hot tears. “I don’t need anything from you. I’ve been alone for most of my life and survived just fine! I’m not your charity case, Jonah. If that’s what you think, then you can just...go. Leave now.”
“Annie, I didn’t mean—”
“No, it’s better this way. I don’t want my kids growing attached to you if you plan to leave us when this is over. They’ve been hurt enough.”
“I would never intentionally harm you or your kids, Annie. Never. If you want me to leave, then I will.” His stubbled jaw firmed, and he set his mouth in a taut line, though his gaze stayed soft and warm.
Jonah’s eyes really did reflect his soul. Her heart did a tap dance inside her. Her emotions played a vicious tug-of-war. She felt safer with Jonah nearby, but how did she justify depending on him, allowing him to become any more deeply rooted in her children’s affection. Or hers.
The Reunion Mission: The Reunion MissionTall Dark Defender Page 33