Noob Game Plus

by Ryan Rimmel

  “What?” asked Badgelor. “Do you think you can just point, and I’ll hop over like a good little pet and cut the wall open for you?”

  “Please,” I groaned.

  “That’s more like it,” stated Badgelor. He sauntered over to the wall and began scratching it with his claws. A few moments later, he had torn a hole in the wall exposing a small cubby that was controlled by a nearby book. That mechanism had seized up centuries ago, but the compartment was intact. Having a badger that could carve through stone with his claws worked out pretty well for bypassing the issue.

  I glanced in and whistled. Several bars of High Steel were inside, as well as a golden metal I didn’t recognize, followed by several other metals I also didn’t recognize. I didn’t recognize much of anything we found. We had hit a gold mine of materials of unknown value. The only other metal I sort of recognized was a green bar of the same material as my poor, destroyed Dagger of Wounding.

  However, each one was pretty heavy, and I only had one functional arm. It was just like everything to work out this way. I was beaten, broken, and trapped deep underground while Julia was off on her own. I inhaled sharply, feeling my shoulders sag.

  “So, what’s the plan?” asked Shart.

  “What do you mean?” I replied, looking at the trove of treasure.

  “Well, Julia’s gone, but I’ve been thinking. Even if she doesn’t summon me, I’ll probably come up with another way to get back,” stated Shart. “Maybe you don’t even need me there physically anymore. I’m getting better in Limbo. Charles didn’t have a personal shoulder demon with him, and he saved the world many times.”

  “But the princess...” I trailed off.

  “O’Really isn’t the kind of guy who saves princesses,” stated Shart flatly. “Jim might have tried to, but do you want to do that anymore? Do you want to keep throwing yourself into the fire time and time again?”

  I thought back to Jarra. There was that little wellspring of strength everyone dipped into when they needed an extra boost. I reached down and found mine dry. I couldn’t do that again. Julia was probably going to die, and I probably couldn't do anything to stop it. “No.”

  “Good, now let's just accept our current situation and figure out how to get out of here,” said Shart. “Seriously, ever since we got back, you’ve been getting your teeth kicked in. I’m glad you finally came to your senses.”

  Ever since I’d Remorted, I’d been trying to come to grips with the fact that I couldn’t do everything. Any time I thought differently, Ordinal stepped up and struck me down. Ordinal spent all its time fucking with O’Really.

  Nobody fucks with the mayor of Noobtown.

  Was the problem me? I slumped down against the wall and thought about it for a moment. Killing Charles was important, but was it more important than everything else? Should I be willing to sacrifice everything to do that? O’Really had given up so many opportunities to be a hero in the pursuit of a quest. Every time destiny had called, O’Really had turned up his nose. Had it been worth it? Had O’Really made the world a better place?

  That was it. O’Really was a selfish loser. I chose to act like a selfish loser.

  O’Really was what I thought I should be doing instead of what I needed to be doing. I had a pathological need to kill Charles. I had stopped being an adventurer and turned into whatever Charles had become. I needed to not be like Charles. I needed to be a hero.

  I had to save the world. I had to save the princess. I had to save Julia.

  I never was O’Really. That was just me pretending to be someone I wasn’t. I was Jim, the mayor of Noobtown.

  I flipped the bar of green metal into the air before catching it. I didn’t have a weapon, but a solid bar of metal would do. Badgelor looked over at me. I nodded back at him.

  “Let's go find this relic. I have a princess to save.”

  Chapter 34 – New Outlook on Life

  “That was not a reverse psychology speech!” screamed Shart. “You need to give up this hero crap and train!”

  “It has been hours, Shart, give it a rest. I made up my mind,” I responded, as Badgelor spit something at my feet.

  ● Heisenberg Compensator: Relic, generates an anti-magical field that fills the structure it is housed in. Magic will not work unless you attune to the building that houses it.

  Clever, you had to expend Mana to attune the building, so, as long as it was active, you couldn’t attune anything.

  “I assume you tried to carry it out?” I asked. Badgelor snarled.

  “I know how relics work,” replied the badger. “No chance it will go past the boundaries of the building.”

  That was about what I expected. I was somewhat surprised Badgelor could even move it. Then again, if the relic couldn’t leave the building, it didn’t matter what the badger had dug through to bring it to me.

  “Shart, can we deactivate this?” I asked, looking at the relic. It looked sort of like an electric shaver. I mean, if you were being generous with your description. It really looked like something else, but I was going with an electric razor. Otherwise, I was walking around holding something my wife kept in the drawer of her nightstand.

  I used it to point at Badgelor, “Could you eat it?”

  “Nope,” stated Badgelor. “First off, I’m not into that. Secondly, I can’t just digest magical objects. I would need to have the talent for digesting something like that. Without the talent, it would just be worked out at the other end, when I’m in my smallest form.”

  “Well, that’s uncomfortable,” I said and walked back over to the altar. I placed my hands on it, wincing. I reactivated the Ignore Injury perk.

  I tried to claim the building, but, of course, I wasn’t able to magically interface with it. The attempt failed instantly. I decided to troubleshoot. I used Mana Control to review my Mana network. Internally, my Mana was working fine. When I tried to cast a spell, the magic didn’t hold its form correctly. Casting a spell required you to force your Mana into a stable magical form. That meant the anti-magic effect was preventing the Mana from stabilizing.

  I considered that while I activated my Mystical Lore skill and tried to figure out my options. On Ordinal, Mana was like the dough of the magical system, while magic was how you baked it to end up with a spell. In this analogy, the spell was a cookie or something. I’m bad at analogies. I could still extrude Mana, but whenever I tried to work the Mana into magic, the effect failed instantly.

  “Maybe Mana is like the yarn, and magic is like the loom,” I stated, before Shart cut me off.

  “No, please stop. You suck at this,” groaned the demon. “Mana is the raw force of power. Magic is the act of working that power into something else. Spells are the most common results, but you can use magic to do other things while working Mana.”

  “I got it,” I said.

  “I seriously doubt that,” responded Shart dryly, as I picked up a rock and started carving into it.

  “No, I do. I can extrude Mana, but I can’t ‘magic’ the Mana after I do. Eventually, the Mana just dissipates back into my body like I hadn’t even tried to work it at all,” I said.

  “That’s accurate, but I don’t see how that helps us,” replied Shart slowly.

  “Well, that’s when I remembered my Runecraft skill,” I said, as I continued to carve. I had only seen this rune a few times, but, thankfully, my Runecraft skill was sufficient to recall it.

  “How does that help?” asked Shart, now actually curious.

  “Well, I can’t work the Mana into a spell, but spells are just 3D runes generated in a certain sequence,” I said. Shart waited for me to continue, like a teacher listening to his least bright student ramble. “But I could use the Rune as a mold to hold the Mana.”

  “But you don’t have the materials necessary to finish the rune. They are all in your dimensional storage,” stated Shart.

  “True, I don’t have the materials to make it permanent, or even hold it for very long. However, I only need it to l
ast for one second,” I said, finishing the naked rune and dumping Mana into it. With Mana Control active, I could see Mana filling in all the carvings, forming the symbol for attunement.

  “Well, Dum Dum, that is the stupidest idea you’ve had yet. I can think of a few hundred reasons why it won’t work,” stated Shart.

  “Bet you it does,” I replied.

  “What’s your bet?” asked Shart.

  “Loser has to call the winner Master,” I stated.

  “You are on. I’ll enjoy your groveling,” replied Shart.

  I slapped the rock onto the altar, my thumb still on the other side, physically holding in the Mana. There was a long moment when nothing happened, just long enough for Shart to clear his voice to proclaim victory. Suddenly, I got a system message:

  ● You have found the Temple of Annulment. It is unclaimed. Would you like to claim?

  I instantly selected “Yes.” The temple glowed amaranth for an instant before stopping. I cast Regeneration on myself and felt blessed relief. The spell immediately started working, and my injuries began to mend.

  “What the hell color was that?” questioned Badgelor.

  “Amaranth, it's a red, pink hybrid,” I stated. “My wife had it in our bathroom.”

  “Shut up, that should not have worked at all,” stated Shart.

  “That should not have worked at all, what?” I grinned, before getting another prompt.

  ● You have learned the skill: Arcane Locksmith. You can now use runes to affect arcane locks. Rank: Unskilled

  ● You possess the synergy skill, Rune Smith. Your skills will fuse into Arcane Rune Locksmith. You are now at Journeyman rank.

  “That should not have worked at all, Master,” seethed the demon.

  “I could get used to that,” I stated.

  “You shouldn’t. I already fulfilled the terms of our deal,” stated Shart.

  I started to yell, when I thought back to the terms of our deal. Shart did call me Master one time. “That’s a dirty trick.”

  “But technically correct,” stated Shart, “And technically correct is the best kind of correct.”

  “Oh, that’s handy, a new Fused skill,” I said, changing the subject. Shart groaned.

  “Another one?” he whined. “Found your Fused skill tab, I see.”

  “Shut up, you know you love it,” I replied. I had first noticed the tab when I’d learned Fancy Footwork, but now I understood it. Fused skills were the most powerful skills. The more of them I could learn, the better. I cast Heightened Senses and looked around but didn’t find any other arcane locks to try Arcane Rune Locksmith on. I cast Regeneration on Badgelor, who whistled.

  “Looks like you got the good stuff,” he said. I smiled, until I felt a crack, as my bones knit back together. Even with Iron Will, bone’s Regeneration could be decidedly uncomfortable.

  “So, what’s your plan now?” asked Shart.

  I opened up my dimensional storage and brought out Grebthar’s Sword and my Scorpider armor. “I’m going to get some real equipment and then talk to some Ghoulsters.”

  Walking back to the forge, I stared at the anvil, the furnace, and the entire shop. It was of decent quality, if not the setup HankAlvin had back in Windfall. I had no other options, though. It would have to do.

  “Fire’s lit,” stated Badgelor. Laser Vision was just plain handy for starting fires. Someone had stocked the smithy with some very old, but, fortunately, dry charcoal. I had to wait for it to heat up, so I examined my metal supply.

  ● Serpent’s Brass X 1

  ● High Steel X 4

  ● Mithril X 1

  ● Orichalcum X 1

  ● Low Steel X 2

  ● Deep Iron X 1

  ● Astral Silver X 1

  ● Promethium X 1

  “I didn’t know what those metals were a few minutes ago,” I said calmly.

  “I know. I pulled up the local inventory list and found all of the metals on it,” stated Shart. “Not many bars of metal in that temple, so I was able to label them all. You are welcome.”

  The demon really could be helpful sometimes. Still, I didn’t know what half those metals would do if I put them in a sword. Promethium was so far over my maximum Smithing rank that it flashed red when I considered using it. I could use the Deep Iron to partially repair my armor, and I knew my blade was forged of High Steel.

  “Do you think reforging this would be better?” I asked, looking at the blade. It was in more than rough shape. The sword had partially melted and warped so badly that it now had a very noticeable curve. Additionally, there was no edge to speak of left anywhere on the blade. The runes that Charles had carved into the blade were still legible, though.

  “No, you still have the sword, Dum Dum,” stated Shart, “You should at least try to repair it first.”

  There was no way this was repairable on Earth, but, of course, I wasn’t on Earth. Had I been, I would have melted the weapon down and started from scratch. On Ordinal, the sword’s only problem happened to be its Durability, which was at zero. That could be fixed by anyone with a high enough Smithing rank.

  ● Would you like to repair Grebthar’s Sword? Durability 0/280, Cost 2 High Steel bars, Chance of Success 20% base + 15% Smithing (3) + 11% workshop quality + 20% Crafting - 80% Weapon Broken. Minimum chance set by Luck: 0%.

  Well, that wasn’t going to work.

  I brought up my Crafting skills and looked at them. Without at least a 1% chance of success, I couldn’t even activate my Smithing Skill. I did have a few options, like substituting in different metals. Even using higher quality metals didn’t appreciably improve my chances, though.

  “So, what is Luck?” I asked Shart, as I brought up my character sheet to look at all my stats. Someone had put the Luck stat off to the side, instead of listing it in line with my other stats.

  “A measure of your Luck, Dum Dum,” said Shart. “It's a rare statistic. Even having a point of it gives you the ability to do things you might otherwise not be able to do. You have very few opportunities to increase it. I think your Explorer Path has one.”

  That seemed reasonable. I flipped back over to my Path and noticed I had an additional Talent Point. I guessed exploring ancient temples buried deeply underground and unlocking their secrets had other benefits.

  I found a talent that boosted Luck. It had been a stand-alone talent, so I had initially ignored it. Searching through the rest of the talents, I checked on all the other stand alones. I found one called Access Inventory and read through it quickly, realizing something.

  “Wait, is this a talent that gives you access to your dimensional storage?” I asked.

  “Yes,” replied Shart, examining it. “It's non-magical, so it would have worked in the anti-magic field, too.” I hadn’t realized the significance when I’d first seen the talent, but now I had a spell that did the same thing. Then again, there could have been an anti-skill field possibility in the , so having multiple means of accessing my storage could be useful. I resolved to choose it at a later date.

  I spent the talent and increased my luck to 1.

  Checking the chance of repairing the sword, I was up to a whopping 1%. I further examined that, just to see what the full list of odds was.

  ● 1% Minimal Success: You will repair 20% of the sword’s Durability

  ● 33% Minor Failure: You will restore 10% of the sword’s Durability

  ● 33% Failure: The sword will not be repaired, materials are lost, 49% weapon is destroyed.

  ● 32% Critical Failure, the sword will be destroyed, materials are lost.

  That was about what I expected. I brought up my hammer.

  “Uh, Dum Dum, are you sure about this?” asked Shart. “The odds are that you waste the metal and possibly permanently destroy the sword.”

  “Positive,” I said, bringing down the hammer.

  ● Failure: The sword will not be repaired; the materials are lost.

  ● Crafting: You w
ill automatically increase the success level of your Crafting checks by one. Failure becomes Minor Failure!

  “See, that was perfect!” I exclaimed, holding up the sword with its whopping 28 points of Durability. More importantly, it had lost the Broken status. I rechecked the repair odds and found that, while I only had a 1% chance for a Masterful Success to fully repair the item for half of the cost, the worst result I could score was a Minor Failure.

  “Time for round two,” I said.

  ● Success: You have repaired 50% of the sword’s Durability.

  That would do nicely, and I was out of High Steel. I held up the sword and examined it.

  ● Grebthar’s Sword, Base damage 4-11, Extra Damage 1-6 Slashing, bonus 50% Fire, Bonus 50% Lightning. Durability: 168/280. Note: Sword has been used as a focal point to cast a Plasma Based spell and survived. The weapon now grants +2 ranks of Plasma Control.

  ● You rank in Smithing has increased. You are now a Journeyman Smith! You may select a Smithing Perk.

  Good, I had a sword again. Also, the Plasma Control would be useful if I ever cast a Plasma spell again. I kind of hoped I wouldn’t have to. The backscatter from a Plasma spell was fully capable of melting through anything, including my body.

  Maybe there was some sort of Plasma-resistant armor or something.

  Speaking of armor, I glanced over at my poor mangled suit and winced. The damage from my battle with the Dark Overlord covered the armor, and the numerous missing parts were not comforting. A hole was burnt through the side, covering nearly where my spine would have been. Given that I was wearing the armor when it happened, I had been very close to having all my guts spill out. I swallowed, feeling my side.

  Stay there, friends; Daddy needs his organs just where they are.

  Unfortunately, the repair took Scorpider Carapace, which I did not have. I frowned at Badgelor, “You had to eat the whole monster?”