He walked me to an elevator, used the key card to call it, and finally let go of me when we stepped on and had to use the card once again to reach our floor. I knew this was supposed to make hotel guests feel safe, but I’d seen Aaron use a master key card to go wherever he wanted in hotels too many times.
Ryan phoned Bran as soon as we were in a room, his voice flat as he told him, “I have her and she’s safe, but she’s in no shape to return to the party.”
I heard Bran tell him he’d come to us, and Ryan told him, “Not a good idea. Let’s set a time for breakfast tomorrow.”
“No. I’m not paying you to keep her from me. Hand her the phone.”
I took it and told Bran, “I need some time to sort through everything.” I didn’t have to fake a shaky voice. Fuck, but I was tired.
“You have an hour.”
“Two hours. Let me take a warm bath and get into some comfortable clothes?” Damn. I’d need to send someone for clothes because the tight leather pants and corset were seriously on my nerves.
I finished up with Bran, disconnected, and handed Ryan his phone. “What’s this room for?”
“You’ll find I always have multiple escape plans, and this room is rented under an alias. If you go out and turn left, the stairs are the second door on your left. Go down the stairs and out of the building, and you’ll find a navy Pontiac G6 parked in front of you — it’s a rental car. The key’s on the dresser. If we get separated, drive it to Bran’s house. If for some reason that isn’t an option, you’ll find a cellphone in the glove compartment with two phone numbers programmed into it. Call the one listed as R. If I don’t answer, call the one listed as X. A female will ask you what city you’re in and will give you instructions. Follow them.”
“I can do the disappearing thing now, which is probably better than cars as an escape mechanism.”
“What’s up with you suddenly not wanting to be around any supernaturals? If you’re hiding from someone in particular, I need to know who I’m protecting you from.”
“I’m human. I was born human. I grew up human. I understand that I’ve learned to do some supernatural things and it makes people wonder about me, but dammit — I’m freaking human!” I stopped a moment to get my composure, as I’d let my voice get too high and I didn’t want to sound emotional.
“I’ve lived a small fraction of the years many of them have lived,” I continued, my voice measured and even. “Abbott, Bran, and Aaron are thousands of years old. Nathan’s hundreds of years old, and I think close to a thousand. I won’t even guess at Mordecai and Adonis.”
I met his gaze and his eyes still scared the fuck out of me, but I didn’t look away. “When I was twenty, I was duped big time by someone who was thirty. The ten-year difference allowed him to play me like I was a child, and I fell for it — hook line and sinker. When I looked back at our relationship when I was thirty, I could see it easy as day, but even at twenty-two after it was over, I couldn’t see it. Some things you just need age and experience to be able to see, and I’m terrified I’m being played by the ancient ones. I don’t think I am, but I don’t trust my instincts right now. I need some time away from them to center myself. I’m off kilter and I hate feeling this way. Too much has happened without my having a chance to properly process it.” I looked around at the luxury hotel room and wondered just how much of a Plan B he’d had. “If you have clothes in this room that fit me, I’ll kiss you.” His ice blue eyes went even frostier, and I amended, “On the cheek.”
“We can skip the kissing part, but there are black jeans and a black microfleece shirt in the top drawer that should fit you.”
I smiled. “My hero.”
No return smile. Ryan was Mr. Emotionless Wall.
I stood and walked to the dresser, opened the top drawer, and saw a gallon sized freezer bag with Bran’s name on it. The next one down had my name on it, and as I lifted it, I saw Nathan’s name on the next one. A few more were underneath, but I was too tired to care who else ranked a spare change of clothes.
“Thank you,” I told him as I lifted the bag. “I’m going to meditate in the shower. If the lights go out — I’m sorry. I need to find my center and I may short out the hotel when I do it.” I’ve mostly learned how to keep my energy from affecting electrical systems and electronics, but everything felt off.
Ryan raised his eyebrows but merely said, “Don’t lock the door. I won’t come in unless I hear something that tells me you need me.”
I nodded and went into the bathroom. My instincts told me not to close the door all the way, so I didn’t. I couldn’t tell if it was important because of a threat, or because I needed to show him I trusted him to keep me safe. Either way, it felt right, so I left it open about an inch — hopefully not enough he’d consider it an invitation, but enough he’d see it as a statement of trust.
I turned the water on as hot as I could stand it, and the rest of the world fell away until there was only the feeling of the spray hitting my skin, the sound of the droplets hitting flesh and tile, and the warm misty air going in and out of my lungs. I cleared my mind of all thoughts, and when one slid in, I brushed it aside. No judgment of whether the thought was good or bad, just that the only thing in my reality was the feel of the water on my skin and the moist air flowing in and out of my body. Nothing else existed.
When I finally came out of it and back to reality, I knew I needed to just be who I am. My soul is the same no matter what vehicle I’m in for this reality. Labels aren’t important, only who I am on the inside is important. Doesn’t matter if this body is human, werepanther, fae — or whatever my fae ancestor was before he was fae.
Simple, right? It’s what I’ve been telling Lauren for years. Who I am on the inside is what’s important. Be who I am.
When I go deep into meditation, the physical me, the part that resides in my brain, ceases to be. I become who I am without a body — my soul energy. When I come back, I can’t explain something that’s not of this world with words that are of this world. This is why so many religions seem to say something different — they’re trying to explain a mystical experience, and you can’t. Not really.
Thank goodness for endless hot water in an expensive hotel. I’d ended up sitting on the floor of the shower and my skin was shriveled. I stood and got used to the feel of my legs holding me while I washed and conditioned my hair.
The towels were fluffy and absorbent, and I took my time drying. I’d lived for a while in places where towels are a luxury, and it’d taught me to appreciate the simple things.
I wasn’t sure what to do about my hair — I had no idea how to deal with the extensions. I wrapped the towel around my head until I was ready to deal with it. I looked through the clothes and was both happy and creeped out to discover the right size in my favorite brand of underwear, jeans, and shirt. He must’ve looked at my things when they were unpacked at the cabin.
“The lights are still on. I’m impressed,” I told him as I walked out of the bathroom fully dressed with a towel still on my head.
“They were off for a while. You look like you feel better.”
“Yeah, how long was I in there?”
“An hour and a half. We have about thirty minutes until Bran’s going to insist on seeing you.”
Ryan probably already knew a lot of what was going on, so I may as well talk to him. At least some of it.
“I’m in kind of a tight spot. Mordecai says if some in the old pantheons get wind of the fact I learned to disappear, I could be in danger. Mordecai and Adonis and I went into a bubble — which makes it look like we disappeared — because Adonis didn’t want anyone hearing me tear into him for expecting me to fall all over him. When we came out of it, the room was no longer empty and we appeared out of thin air.”
“The rumors say humans can’t resist Adonis.”
“I’m a human who’s learned special tricks. Even if I weren’t though, even if it turned out this body was more, I’m still me on the inside. I sti
ll think like a human. There’d be no way to just wake up one day and define myself as...” As what? A god? No.
“Abbott came by to check on you. I told him you were in the shower and wanted to be left alone. He was going to go in anyway until I told him you said you needed to meditate and find your center, and it would likely be a bad idea to startle you. He left, but I assume he’ll be back with Bran.” He gave me another measured look. “I assumed it would be okay for him to go in, and you wouldn’t want me killing him to keep him out. Bran listed him as friend and ally — how do you see him?
“He’s an ally who seems to prefer me alive to dead, but he’s also a strong Master Vampire and I don’t know his end game. Are you saying you could take him out?”
He gave me poker face again, and I sighed and asked. “How’d he find me?”
“I wondered too. I know you say you keep him out of your head, but if you’ve ever let him in, even for a split second, he probably did something so he can find you if he’s within a certain distance.” His eyes narrowed. “The two of you’ve had sex, right? It’s likely your walls came down enough during orgasm.”
“He was the first to get to me after I fought Surtr. I was in bad shape, and I lowered my shields so he could help me.” I blew out a breath, frustrated at not knowing if he’d done it then or when I’d orgasmed. “Nothing’s ever free. I need to get it tattooed onto the back of my eyelids so I don’t forget again.”
“Most of his vampire powers don’t work on you. Right?”
As far as I knew, none of them worked unless I let him inside my walls, but I wasn’t ready to admit that. Instead, I told Ryan, “I wish I better understood the politics without needing so much explained to me. Abbott’s been around a long time, and it has to be because he’s learned how to work the system. Is that what he’s been doing with me? Aaron and Nathan are the only ones I trust to guide me through the crappy political stuff.”
“And you’re sharing this with me because...?”
He’d noted I hadn’t answered his question, and had given him other information. I sat in a chair and pulled my knees to my chest. “I figure you’ve picked up on the important parts, and what you haven’t picked up on yet you will soon. Plus, I need to say some of this out loud.”
He’d been standing, leaned against a wall with his arms crossed. He walked to the window and looked out, his back to me as he talked now. “Bran hired me to protect you from the Celrau and their collaborators. I can’t protect you from the likes of Adonis and Mordecai. If you tell me Zeus or Thor or one of those guys is after you, there isn’t much I can do. I can hide you, but I don’t know how to fight them, nor do I have contacts who claim to. I haven’t asked around because doing so would bring attention we don’t want.”
He knew the Celrau had collaborators? Was he just referring to shapeshifters they hired, or did he know more? I’d need to consider the best way to ask, so I stayed on topic for the time being. “I doubt there’s anything Abbott, Randall, or Nathan can do either.”
“Aaron?”
“I don’t know, but I’m guessing not. Do the mythologies say anything about dragons coming up against the gods?”
I ran through what I knew while he considered my question.
“The dragons nearly always lose,” he finally said.
“Yeah, but they’re formidable. My guess is the stories of the dragons winning might not have been handed down. Humans and gods tell the stories, so they aren’t going to write songs about losing.”
He turned to look at me again, but stepped sideways so his back was to the wall and not the window. “Regardless, having freaking gods after you makes you vulnerable. Possibly no longer in control of your own destiny.”
“If I play my cards right, Adonis and Mordecai can teach me to protect myself.” I shrugged and stepped to the window — I wanted to see what was out there too, but I only saw normal downtown Chattanooga foot, bicycle, and vehicle traffic.
“Look on the bright side. I don’t have to worry about getting kidnapped now that I have the disappearing trick.”
“Which might mean they just kill you instead of trying to kidnap you and turn you into one of them. Please step away from the window.”
“Are you always such an optimist?”
“Realist.”
“And the bitch of it is — you’re right. Speaking of being real, I’m going to see if I can do something with this hair. I have no idea what to do with these extensions, and I hate having to worry with girl shit when I should be worrying about staying alive.”
Chapter 17
I’d pulled the mess of hair into a loose, messy bun at the nape of my neck when I heard a knock at the door.
So many of the alpha-guys make a habit of leaning against the wall with their arms crossed and no emotion showing so they can look bad-ass, and I decided to try it on for size. It felt right, and I found myself giving them an impassive stare as Mordecai, Adonis, Abbott, Bran, and Nathan walked in.
I wasn’t interested in small talk or assuring them I was okay, so I launched immediately into questions.
“What happened after I left?”
Abbott’s glare made me want to escape all over again. “You probably could’ve played it off so everyone thought the men were responsible for messing with the poor defenseless human, but you blew that out of the water by disappearing into thin air.”
I cringed as I realized he was right.
Mordecai took pity on me and gave me news. “Drake Security was called to a home in the northern part of the county, where someone had taken out a bunch of Celrau. They also found traces of blood belonging to a species of reptiles with godlike status.”
“Some call them demi-gods,” Adonis interjected.
I raised my eyebrows but said nothing, and Mordecai continued. “They were messing with the fault lines, trying to create a nuclear meltdown.”
“Godlike reptiles? Demigods? What the fuck?”
“Some of us feel they were hired or bargained with to act as bodyguards to the Celrau. I’m more inclined to believe they were working as partners. Either way, the reptile leader’s name is Nidhogg, but he’s been going by Striker in recent decades. His original name loosely translates to, He who strikes with malice. He’s part of the Scandinavian mythologies and once had a sizeable following. His myth said he ate away at the roots of the world tree and destroyed the foundations of Earth. Some have always thought that sort of thing deserved worshiping.”
“A few video games have resurrected him,” Adonis filled in, “and he’s starting to use his old name again since he’s finding power in it once more. We believe his offspring were in the house, so we have no idea if papa’s part of their plan or not.”
Nathan had been quiet, but he finally spoke. “The good part here is that Mordecai can prove Striker’s the one who finagled the various realities so the Celrau could multiply in Hell without the Concilio knowing. Striker’s entire race is now in trouble.”
“The Concilio said they were going to wipe out the Celrau, but they’re still fucking with us.”
“A higher authority will punish Striker and his people for interfering in the affairs of man without license,” Mordecai’s voice was soft and I realized I was dangerously close to annoying him.
I was having trouble managing my energy, and I took a few centering breaths to try to even myself out. My arms wanted to shake and shiver, but it was about my aura, not my physical body. I’d noticed it when everyone walked in, and it was getting worse. I focused on the conversation and tried to sort through what I was being told.
“I need to speak with Kirsten alone,” said Mordecai as he took two long strides to me, grasped my arm, and took me into the nothingness.
“Once they knew to look for Striker,” Mordecai said without missing a beat, “the Concilio became aware of the doors the Celrau have been using. Striker had made some that stayed open, so the Celrau could feed during the Earth’s new moon while in Hell, and they could change people in Hell. It�
�s another step towards reducing their numbers.”
“So they can’t make more? I’m assuming the Concilio will close those doors?”
“It’s being looked into.”
“What does it mean that I can come to this place and travel wherever I want?”
“You know what it means.”
I shook my head. “I’m a human who follows instructions and learns. That’s it.”
“I won’t argue semantics, but you mustn’t step out of your reality without Adonis or me unless it’s an emergency. We don’t know the ramifications, and if someone grabs you while you’re here, we may never find you.”
“Why did you want me to learn if you didn’t want me doing it?”
“Because the ability to escape might save your life someday, but you need to reserve it for emergencies.”
“I goofed coming back from...” I sighed. “I thought of Aquila as I was coming back, and ended up materializing beside him.”
I told him the story, and he opened a telepathic conduit and had me remember the men Aquila was with. My night vision was starting to fade a little as Bran’s blood worked its way out of my system, but I’d seen enough Mordecai recognized one of them, though he wouldn’t tell me which.
“We can work with the shared illusion you alluded to — you’re good at thinking on your feet and it’ll freak Aquila out. Is there anything else you need to tell me?”
“My energy’s all over the place.”
He nodded. “It is, but let’s discuss that with the others. Are we ready to go back?”
I nodded and he said, “I’m going to grab your arm so it appears I’m taking you back, but I’d like you to return us to the room. If you’re going to insist on doing this, I’ll give you some practice.”
I wished things were different and I wasn’t embroiled in supernatural politics, but I concentrated on where we were going as I stepped back into the Earth’s reality. My heart stopped as we arrived in the hotel room and it wasn’t our room. No people were in it, and while the doors and windows were in the same place, the room was completely different — the walls were a pale yellow instead of beige, the bedspread an unpleasant modern pattern of sharp angles and loud colors, and the furniture was modern instead of having the old-world grandeur of the hotel Ryan had taken me to. The bathroom’s layout was the same, but with different fixtures in a modern design.
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