by Virna DePaul
Jill gasped, then giggled. “What are you doing?” She looked around too and realized what he’d been noticing all along. They were completely alone on a deserted beach, and it was closing in on full-on night. The sounds filled the night—waves caressing the sand, wind rustling through the grass and across the beach, and in the distance, Cole could hear the soft city noises.
He worked her jeans down and off her legs. Lifting her bottom, he ran his hands up the inside of her thighs and lightly touched her between her legs.
“You are so naughty, Cole!”
“Oh, I hate to surprise you with that,” he said, a smile in his voice. She yanked on his jacket, and he dropped it on the ground. She had his shirt off in no time.
“Your turn.” He pulled her shirt over her head, remembering to be careful. Her bruises were fading, but he would hate himself if he aggravated things before she was fully healed.
She reached behind her back to undo her bra, then discarded it on the sand below. One thing was certain, she didn’t act like she was hurting in any way. “Now you…”
After only a brief hesitation, he undid his jeans and pulled them down enough to make things work. Luckily, he had remembered to bring along a condom in his jacket pocket when he had this little idea. It took some maneuvering to lean over and retrieve it without tipping them and the bike over, but a minute later, he was ready to go. She was more than ready, gripping his back and pulling him close.
He slid into her in one long, slow motion, and she moaned, wrapping her legs around him, pulling him in for more. He just about exploded right then and there. He fought it, though his body was aching and on the edge. He wanted her to come first.
Jill leaned on the front of the bike while he held her, moving slow, his mouth kissing and gently biting her neck. She pushed up into, needing him deep inside of her. “Keep doing that, and I’m going to lose it,” he told her.
“So lose it,” she whispered, looking up at the sky. “The stars are coming out. This is so perfect.”
He didn’t need to see the stars. He needed to look at her, her body, her sweet pussy inviting him in further, faster…harder. She was so beautiful. He traced her face with his hands, kissing her forehead, cheeks, then mouth.
When he straightened, she said, “I had my first motorcycle ride on this bike…in two ways.”
“This is a first for me, too,” he revealed, happy that they got to share these firsts with each other.
“What about the beach?”
“You want to go on the sand?” he asked, not wanting to admit that he’d been on the beach with other women before.
“Would it work?”
“We made this work!” He pushed into her to prove his point. Then he wrapped his arms around her tighter and lifted her up so her clit could better push against him.
“Ohhh!” she moaned.
“Holy shit, that feels fucking awesome!” He’d planned to take her to the sand but stayed put, holding her body cradled to him. The angle and pressure sent him in deep, and he rocked against her, making them both moan. She panted, her hands gripping his neck, and her chest pushed against him. Suddenly her hands gripped him harder, and she cried out through her orgasm.
He took the opportunity to lift his leg and scoot back away from the bike while still holding her. All that time on the weights paid off now. He felt his muscles working, but it wasn’t too much—and the burn was worth it. Eventually though, he had to set her on her feet to shed his clothes and make a blanket on the sand behind the tall sea grass. Finally, he drew her against him again and they sank to their knees. She pulled him on top of her until he covered her, then she reached down to spread apart her lips for him, inviting him further into her body.
“Cole, yes!”
He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, pulling her up for a kiss while he plunged deeper inside her.
He couldn’t get enough. Of the feeling, of the surroundings…
Of her.
* * *
Jill wrapped her legs around Cole and pulled him closer, wanting his body driving into her harder and faster. She wanted him to lose it, to need her, to feel he couldn’t live without her. She gripped his arms, then slid her hands up to feel his biceps move.
“Like that?” he growled.
“Yes! Oh, God, yes!” She yanked him close, and on a strange impulse, bit his shoulder. Cole murmured in surprise and nibbled on her neck. It shot pure pleasure right through her.
She couldn’t believe his control. He alternated between fast and hard, then slow and sensual, both satisfying and teasing her. It made the pleasure build and strengthen. Made her want to explode harder than ever.
“I’m going to come again,” she breathed. And it’s going to be huge.
“Not fair…or maybe it is.” Cole suddenly rolled them over, pulling her on top of him. She squealed, not caring if anyone heard. “I want to feel every inch of you,” he added, proving it with his hands. His words made her quiver.
He grabbed her hips, moving her back and forth while she tightened around him. His hands traveled her body, grazing her skin. Along with the soft breeze, it made her tingle all over, feeling more alive than she had in years. If only they could stretch this night out. She wanted it to go on and on…
She couldn’t help but run her hands up her own body. His hand came over one of hers, guiding it to her breast. They caressed her together as they moved. It was hot and sexy and naughty, and she loved it. She loved how he watched her in the moonlight. She loved how he looked lying there, as if astounded at his good fortune.
And it was all because of her.
Inside she felt her body coiling up in a strange release mixed with need. When she couldn’t hold back anymore, she let go, letting herself fall, her climax rolling over and over. Her body jerked and clenched around Cole’s cock, making him groan. He moved faster, sending her even higher, until he let loose with her.
His body pushed off the ground, his arms gripping her in a tight embrace, their cries mingling as their bodies had. They shook together, then collapsed, Jill landing on his chest as their chests both heaved as they sucked in oxygen. Wave after wave rippled through her, mini aftershocks. She felt dizzy and tingly. She was so relaxed, she started to slip over the edge to sleep.
For several minutes, they didn’t move. Waves crashed, and crickets chirped in the nearby bushes. She drifted off. The breeze skimmed her back in a tender touch, a light kiss on her skin. Euphoria. That’s what this was—perfect bliss. Her body and heart sang together at once.
She floated away on a sweet dream. Cole stirred eventually, and the movement brought her back enough to remember they were lying on a public beach. She didn’t care. Nothing mattered right now. She was here, in one of the most perfect spots on Earth. She ran a hand up his chest and down his arm, feeling the rise and fall of his body, infusing her feelings into her touch.
Minutes passed before a car drove by, nudging her from her pleasure-induced haze and reminding her they shouldn’t push their luck. They needed to start moving soon. Reluctantly, she pulled herself up, but before she could stand, Cole reached out to take her arm, stopping her. “I want to look at you in the moonlight a little longer…you’re so perfect.”
He took the words right out of her mouth. The moonlight reflecting off his skin turned him into a perfect work of carved marble, like the statues of gods in the old museums. Just when she thought the night couldn’t get any better, she remembered they would have to get home by bike again, and there was nothing more perfect than that.
Chapter Twenty
Hours later, lying in Cole’s bed in his apartment, Jill propped herself up on an elbow and looked at him like something might be on her mind.
“What is it?” He traced a finger down her arm.
“I spilled some juice today, and when I went to get some paper towels, I saw an envelope on the counter. It had—it had been torn in half.”
He stiffened but continued to caress her with his finger, s
aying nothing.
“It was just there. I didn’t mean to violate your privacy.”
“Shh. It’s okay,” he said. “It’s just a letter… from my birth father.”
“I figured.”
He looked at her in surprise. Then, realization swept through him. “My mom told you about him, didn’t she?”
She nodded, giving him a sad smile. “She told me about the letters. It was another regret. Something she felt guilty about. That you never had a father.”
“I didn’t need a father. I had her. She was enough.”
“Yes, but she knew when she passed, things would be different.”
He shook his head. “She was worried. I get that. She wanted to know I’d have someone. But I just—I just couldn’t let her tell me who he was. I didn’t want to know. That wasn’t always the case. When I was growing up, I desperately wanted to know. I had all these big ideas about him. I put him way up on a pedestal.” Cole paused in thought.
“What happened? What changed?”
“I got used to not knowing. And when my mom wanted to tell me, I couldn’t handle it. In a way, I thought it would be betraying her. Like she’d die knowing she’d been replaced somehow. No way I’d ever do that to her after everything she did for me.”
Jill touched his hand. “Cole? I don’t think she would have felt that way. You knew her much better, of course, but she admired you, loved you. She just wanted you to be happy.”
“I was happy. I am happy,” he said, staring into her eyes. “Happier than I’ve been in a long time. Maybe ever.” He stroked her arm again. “What you and I have? Right here? Right now? I want more of it. I want to spend more time with you and see what we can be.”
He knew it was worth putting off working in San Francisco or riding cross-country to spend time with her. He watched her eyes widen. “Jill, I don’t know what will happen but I’m hoping for forever. That’s worth taking a risk on. Don’t you agree?”
* * *
Jill was so touched that tears stung her eyes. She fought them off, wanting to keep her head and think clearly. If she meant that much to him… If he really wanted a shot at forever… Maybe they could find a compromise, build a life together but make sure it was balanced, so he wouldn’t resent her. She decided to take a chance and tell him about her deepest fear. He had opened up and shared with her. She had to do it, too.
“I…I do agree, but I don’t want to be a burden to you,” she said, tears on the edges of her eyes.
“How could you ever be a burden?” He reached over to stroke her face. “You’ve done nothing but enhance my life.”
She took his hand in hers. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something.” She took a big breath and let it out slowly. “I never told you how I met your mom. We met during chemo.”
He stared at her for a moment, almost like he didn’t believe her. Then, he sucked in a breath, and she dropped her gaze, afraid of what his expression would reveal. “We underwent treatment at the same time. Mine wasn’t as serious, but it shook me up bad, Cole.”
It was dead silent, but only for a few seconds.
“Why didn’t you tell me that before?” His voice had a slight edge, like he didn’t want her to see that he was angry. His words however said it all. He was mad.
“I was afraid. Well, first, it was just too private, and…I mean, we had a one-night stand. I didn’t think you needed to know. We weren’t going to stay together. There wasn’t a reason to tell you. But now…”
He slid his hand out of hers. “Wow, that’s something…”
“I’m sorry, Cole, but like I said, there was no reason to tell you before. And I mean, we’ve only known each other a week.” She crossed her arms defensively. “I’m sure there’s lots of things about you I don’t know,” she ventured.
He glanced up for a second, as though he’d been lost in his thoughts. Or emotions? Was he so angry he couldn’t talk? “All right,” he finally said. “I can see that. But you said it wasn’t as big a deal for you. Does that mean you’re okay?”
“As far as we know, I’m fine. We caught it early. It’s gone. There’s no guarantees, of course, but…”
He blew out a deep breath. “Okay. Good. I’m glad you’re okay. I’m fucking relieved.” He tried to pull her in close, but she shook her head.
“Wait, Cole. That’s not all. I might as well get it all out there. My father had early onset Alzheimer’s disease. I could have the gene for it, too. I’m going to get tested. At least, I’m considering it. It’s scary and part of me doesn’t want to know.”
Cole’s eyes resembled a frightened deer, and his hands shook as he suddenly ran both hands through his hair. “Jesus, Jill. How could you not tell me this until now?”
“I was afraid to. And up to now, we’ve kept an invisible wall between us. Neither of us was willing to take a risk at forever. But what you just said… I was hoping… Have you changed your mind?”
She sucked in breath when he failed to answer right away.
He saw her fallen expression and shook his head. “Don’t look at me like that. I still care for you. I still want to be with you.”
“But you’re no longer sure if the risk is worth it?” she whispered.
“Yes. No.” He dragged his hands through his hair again, his face not just conflicted but agonized. “You have to understand, Jill. My mother’s been sick on and off since I was sixteen. I’ve lived over a decade watching her bounce between health and illness, and the fact I couldn’t save her—I just don’t know if I can handle that again. Not with you. I don’t know if I’m strong enough.”
“I understand,” she said, even as she felt her heart breaking. It’s what she’d known all along. She was a burden. A ticking bomb. What man would ever want to be saddled with her?
“I’m saying things all wrong. You’ve just taken me surprise, that’s all, but—” Before he could continue, though, his phone buzzed, and he glanced at the screen. “Damn it, this is Luke, and he’s started on the Taylor job today. I need to take this. Can I have some time?”
She took a deep, shallow breath and raised her chin. “Of course, Cole. Take all the time you need.”
Once he disappeared, Jill dropped her head into her hands. She’d known this would be difficult. He had watched his mother wither away while he could do nothing to protect her, nothing to save her. And now, he was imagining being tied down to Jill, too. This was his worst nightmare coming true.
She could hear his voice on the phone outside getting farther and farther away. Was he leaving for a while? Had she just ruined everything?
Tears welled in her eyes. She couldn’t contain the pain. The tears spilled over, and she gasped for breath, her body shaking as she tried to hold it in. But she couldn’t. She just let it out, crying like she hadn’t in years, unable to erase the look on his face when she gave him the news. She cried and cried.
And he wasn’t there to comfort her.
* * *
After talking to Luke and giving him his opinion on a matter that had come up on the Taylor job, Cole mounted his bike before he even decided to go for a ride. It was just habit. Autopilot. Clarity and freedom came to him in the form of whipping wind, and his bike hummed under him as the world whizzed by.
He didn’t want to lose Jill. Not now. Not later to some disease, either. He should have stayed and talked it out with her, but his emotions had taken over. His vision had just about crossed as he’d hurried down the stairs, trying to get away from her. He needed to be alone and think, yes, but was he running away? Was that what his bike was for, had been for, all these years? To run from his problems? No, he told himself. He needed to make sure he wasn’t making the biggest mistake of his life.
He tried to picture going back to the way life had been before he met her, and it looked dark and bleak. Pointless. She was the bright spot in his life, making everything better. He wanted her with him, in his life, making memories and sharing things.
But what if she got sick aga
in? How would he handle it if she died? Could he survive losing her like that? People die every day, he told himself. They die from car accidents, they die from heart attacks, they die from hidden ailments all the time. So what? He wasn’t supposed to take a risk and love someone, just because there was a chance he’d lose her?
No matter what came their way, he wanted them to go through it together.
He drove past the bay, chasing the moon’s reflection out on the water, and then drove some more, just to wash away the negative emotions. The entire night had been cleansing, and he felt like he had to pause and live it. After a while, he felt renewed and refreshed, ready to figure out what all of this meant. Then suddenly, he felt guilty—he’d left Jill at home, hadn’t even told her that he’d be back soon, and she was probably wondering where he’d gone. Or worse—she might not be there at all anymore.
He raced home, hoping she was still there, feeling stupid for having abandoned her, after he said he would take care of her. To make things worse, it was late, probably close to midnight. He’d lost track of time.
He unlocked the door and threw it open. “Jill!”
The condo was dark save the kitchen light. He quietly entered the bedroom, hoping they could still talk. He’d tell her he was sorry for running out on her, but that he was ready and willing to take her on—to take love on.
But she wasn’t there.
Cole flicked on the light. The bed was made. He saw none of her things. Nothing in the bathroom either. Walking through the house, it was like Jill had never been there.
Then he saw it—a piece of paper on the counter.
Cole,
I’m sorry I surprised you with that, and that it upset you. I just wanted to be honest. It felt like things were at the point where you needed to know. Maybe it was too much, but I suppose we should be glad to know that sooner rather than later. I think it’s best if I go home.