He took a deep breath to steady himself. Strangely, his uniform gave him the confidence to find words he imagined Thomas might use. ‘I would like to say, Ma’am, that although I have been in the house only a few hours, I have already found it the most welcoming place to work. It is because His Lordship has placed his trust in me, an unqualified amateur, and it is because of the leadership shown to me by Mr Payne that I am compelled to answer with all honesty.’
‘Yes, yes, dear,’ her ladyship hurried him along. ‘Very noble and well said, but the answer is?’
‘You won’t lose your job.’ The viscount was watching him with interest. ‘And you are perfectly safe here. Either way.’
‘Thank you, My Lord. Then the answer, Ma’am, Sirs, is yes. I am, but I would never admit nor discuss the matter beyond these four walls.’
He’d done it. Gone, from ashamed messenger to self-confessed homosexual in less than twenty-four hours. He had no compunction at admitting the fact. It was as if the building as much as its occupants allowed it. He had found a haven where danger only came to those who lied.
‘Bravo!’
Lady Marshall approved, Silas winked again, and the viscount looked at Thomas, who still gave no reaction.
‘Well,’ His Lordship said. ‘This is all most illuminating.’ He addressed the doctor in a softer voice. ‘Philip, please consider all of us your friends if that’s possible.’
‘Thank you, Sir. As it happens…’
‘Archer,’ the viscount corrected, and the doctor nodded.
‘Archer, Lady Marshall. Before we return to the discussion of the charity which I feel we should, may I be permitted to say that, like James there, I too have never encountered such free-thinking and welcoming company. It is something of a shock, and believe me, I have seen some shocking things in Greychurch. Like James, I too have no intention of discussing the subject beyond these safe walls and thus, to repay the trust you have shown me, and inspired by your footman’s sincerity, I would like to answer Her Ladyship’s initial question.’
‘So that’s a yes then, is it?’ Mr Hawkins said, smirking playfully.
‘Not exactly,’ Markland replied. ‘I am of a rare species that finds itself attracted to either sex or, I should say, both.’
‘Lots of men like that,’ Silas said, as if the confession was nothing. ‘I used to come across them regular. Or they’d come across me.’
Thomas coughed pointedly, and the viscount looked like he might pass out.
‘Really, Doctor?’ Lady Marshall drew back her head in amazement. ‘I should find it rather confusing.’
‘Not at all, Your Ladyship.’
‘But surely you have too many options? Where, for example, does a man decide to insert his… ‘
‘Payne?’ The viscount interrupted, throwing a helpless look at the butler.
‘Shall we clear, Sir?’ Thomas stepped forward, stately and unaffected. ‘Mrs Flintwich has constructed your favourite dessert.’
Fifteen
The conversation about sexuality ended with the delivery of a work of art otherwise known as a blancmange. James was terrified to touch it, but luckily Thomas served, leaving him free to remove plates to the kitchen. With dinner over, he and Thomas tidied the drawing room before the guests gathered there, and left them to their discussion of the charity.
‘Is that what the viscount does?’ James asked, as they descended to the servants’ hall. ‘Raise money to help poor people?’
‘Not exactly,’ Thomas answered. ‘For a start, he doesn’t need to raise money, his land and investments do that. ‘But he does have an interest in helping those less fortunate than himself, particularly renters, as you heard.’
‘I heard a lot of things. Did I answer right?’
‘You answered correctly, yes. Actually…’ Thomas stopped him on the turn of the stairs. ‘I was rather proud of you.’
‘Proud? I only spoke the truth as you told me to, and I meant it. I wouldn’t speak about that kind of stuff out there and, before today, wouldn’t have spoken of it anywhere.’
‘It’s the house,’ Thomas said, looking to the ceiling as if he could picture the whole property through it. ‘There’s no point hiding secrets at Clearwater. His Lordship sees through them eventually.’
James’ heart received a stab of guilt, but he calmed it with a deep breath. ‘So, what do we do now?’
‘Unless we are dismissed for the evening,’ Thomas explained, ‘we wait until the guests depart, and then I will close the house. I suggest you get yourself something to eat if you’re hungry, have a cup of tea and put your feet up.’
They continued to the servants’ hall where James made tea. Thomas sent Lucy to bed, and once her light footsteps had died on the stairs, said, ‘You might as well go up as well. You look done in.’
‘I’ll be alright,’ James replied. ‘I’m enjoying being alone with you.’
‘As you wish, but it could be a long wait.’
‘Give us time to talk.’
‘About what? The best way to clean silver?’
‘Never put them in the knife cleaner unless they are already clean and free of grease,’ James said, and earned himself a look of approval. ‘No, about what they were saying. Does His Lordship really not mind people knowing he’s… you know?’
‘I don’t think it’s a question of minding,’ Thomas said. ‘He has, as far as I know, only shared the secret with a few people and only when he knows he can trust them implicitly. He would mind, however, if the news was out there on the streets. He manages, somehow, to cover it up. He doesn’t dress flamboyantly apart from his smoking jackets, and he doesn’t behave in that hideously affected, feminine way that I have seen some men do. I’ve even read about them dressing as women, itself a cause for arrest unless it’s on the music hall stage.’
‘So, he must trust me then.’
‘If Mr Hawkins thinks you are trustworthy that is good enough for Lord Clearwater.’
‘And you think I am?’
‘Obviously.’
Another stab of guilt caused James to growl inwardly. ‘What’s Mr Hawkins’ story?’ he asked. ‘I mean, he’s only been his secretary for a short while, but he was a renter before. Is that right?’
Thomas nodded.
‘Is it love?’
‘It’s not for us to speculate,’ Thomas said. ‘But we don’t need to. Yes.’
Thomas was tired, James could see it in his eyes which, until then had been alive and dazzling like the emeralds of Lady Marshall’s rings. Now, they were glassy and drooping.
‘Have you ever been in love, Tom?’ he asked. ‘Or is that subject out of bounds?’
‘We’re alone, James,’ Thomas replied. ‘But it’s wrong to discuss such things here. Do you mind?’
‘Of course not. Sorry.’
‘Having said that…’ Thomas got to his feet with a groan and stood behind the footman. He put his hands on his shoulders and leant so they were cheek to cheek. ‘The answer is yes, but it was not to be.’
‘How does it feel?’
‘A little like this.’
Thomas kissed the top of his head before he moved away.
‘You mean it?’
Thomas dragged his fingers through his hair like a row of ploughs turning furrows at sunset, his smooth features set in a semi-smile. His arms extended behind his back as he stretched and yawned, his mouth opening wide to reveal the damp, dark pinkness inside. His tailcoat parted, and James wallowed in the sight of his slim waist and slender legs.
‘As me fader would say…’ The country accent was back. ‘Bain’t no other reason fur me a-feel like I been swept away be-a bessom.’ He relaxed and shook his shoulders. ‘You look worried, James.’
‘Yeah, well, it’s been a lon
g day, and everything’s happened so fast. Sorry, I’m not worried, but maybe a bit apprehensive.’
‘About what?’
James was dog-tired, it had been an exhausting day, and his feet had not touched the ground. Moving from one job to the next, the experience of dinner, the knowledge that here at Clearwater he could be himself, and now hearing that Thomas had fallen for him in the way he had fallen for Thomas… It was too much to soak up, and with Tripp’s mission floating around like scum on an otherwise pure pond, he was drowning in uncertainty.
‘Can I really be myself here?’ he asked, as Thomas returned to his chair. ‘I mean, I can talk about this stuff with you, my boss, and no-one’s going to know?’
‘You could talk about it with His Lordship if you wanted,’ Thomas said. ‘But I wouldn’t, not just yet. He has other things on his mind. You could chat with Mr Hawkins, he’d be open to that, but I’d give yourself some time to get to know him first.’
‘Which leaves you.’
‘Oh, you can talk to me as much as you want.’
‘That’s another thing,’ James said. He may as well admit it. ‘You and me, if we get to… that, you know.’
‘If? Ask me, it’s a question of when. At least for my part.’
That was good to hear, but the knowledge that something was going to happen between them was as worrying as it was thrilling. James reminded himself of the first rule of Clearwater.
‘I ain’t done it before,’ he said. ‘Have you?’
Thomas didn’t answer directly. Instead, he said, ‘If it’s right, it’ll take care of itself.’
The drawing room bell rang.
‘Oh good, they’re leaving early,’ Thomas said, rising and straightening his uniform.
‘Shall I come?’
‘May as well. There’s not much to do, but you can watch.’
Upstairs, Thomas collected Lady Marshall’s coat and stood with it ready to place around her shoulders, and James did the same for the doctor. They came from the drawing-room laughing together and with Her Ladyship hanging from the man’s arm. Lady Marshall was swaying slightly.
‘Look at the two of them,’ she exclaimed, releasing Markland and making a beeline for Thomas. ‘Handsome boys in earthy russet and green. Servant colour is quite the fashion in the best houses.’
‘Her Ladyship designed your livery,’ the viscount explained. Like Thomas, his eyes were ringed with red. He had stubble on his chin which James noticed bore a scar. He might have seen it before, he was too tired to remember.
‘You have many talents, Lady Marshall,’ the doctor said. ‘May I drop you home?’
‘Philip, I live not sixty yards away, but perhaps I might impose on Archer to lend me James to guide me. He is something of an expert at deliveries, I believe.’
‘Of course,’ His Lordship said. ‘Would you, James? It’s stopped raining.’
‘It would be an honour, Your Ladyship,’ he said. ‘If Mr Payne has no objections.’
‘He’s not allowed them,’ Lady Marshall decreed, taking James’ arm. ‘It’s not far, you won’t catch cold.’
He waited awkwardly, held firmly by the old woman’s hand and yet reassured by it. Everyone said their farewells, promised to meet again to discuss matters further, and along with other pleasantries, thanked the viscount for his hospitality. Thomas held the door and raised one dark-blond eyebrow secretly to James when he led Lady Marshal from the house.
The air chilled away his drowsiness the moment he stepped into the porch.
‘We should walk slowly,’ Her Ladyship said, once they were on the pavement. She waved farewell to the men, and James noticed Fecker had brought the trap around and was assisting the doctor into it. He wondered how and when that had been arranged, and marvelled at how things just seemed to happen in the house. Everyone knew what they were supposed to do and when, and he resolved to pay more attention in the future, so Thomas would see he was quick to learn.
‘How did you enjoy your first day?’ Her Ladyship asked, her arm tucked through his.
‘Very much, Ma’am,’ he said.
‘You think this work is for you?’
‘I hope so.’
‘And so do I, James. You do my designs justice.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Ah,’ she said, drawing him to a halt and looking behind. ‘We are safe.’ She gave a gentle tug and moved him closer. ‘I hope I didn’t embarrass you at dinner.’
‘Not at all, Ma’am.’
‘I have an eye for these things,’ she confessed. ‘And I care immeasurably about my godson’s happiness. As you may have gathered, I am not what society calls conventional, and I love it that way. What do you say?’
He wondered if this was a test of some sort and reasoned that if it was, the only way he would pass it was to tell the truth.
‘I haven’t met any titled ladies,’ he said. ‘Only their servants at doors, so I don’t have anyone to compare you to.’
‘Sensible answer,’ she said. ‘Trot on.’
They continued, passing the point where Clearwater House abutted hers.
‘Now listen, James,’ she said, again drawing him to a halt. ‘None of what happens inside Clearwater must be discussed outside. Am I clear on this?’
‘I understand, Ma’am. In the postal service, we respect privacy, and I was trained from an early age to keep my mouth shut.’
‘That is good to hear,’ she said. ‘But I do need to give you a word of warning.’
‘Oh?’ He couldn’t imagine what she was going to say next.
‘There’s something not right with Archer. Lord Clearwater. He is changed of late, and I am concerned for him, you understand?’
‘Not entirely, Ma’am.’
‘I want to ask you a favour,’ she said, continuing the walk. ‘I can’t discuss it with Mr Payne, and Archer would never tell me, but I do feel that I can put my faith in you. Maybe it’s because I don’t know you, but I rather think it is because of your wonderfully blatant honesty at dinner, for which, I might add, you should receive an accolade. You are going to fit right into my godson’s way of life and his household. But all that aside, if you notice him suffering, will you tell me? I mean if he falls into any trouble, you come and find me even if there is but a suspicion. Yes?’
‘Would I be betraying his confidence if I did so, Your Ladyship?’
‘I don’t think so.’ She thought for a second. ‘No, but if you did and he made a fuss, I’d sort him out, and you wouldn’t be punished. I’m not asking for gossip, I don’t want to know what he and Mr Hawkins get up to for example, but of late, he has not been himself.’
‘I am unable to judge as I have only known him a few days.’
‘I know, it’s a difficult task, but you will know if there is something amiss, and I will know how to deal with it.’
They reached her steps, and she put more weight on his arm as they ascended.
‘That’s all I wanted to say, James,’ she said. ‘That and thank you for humouring an old lady.’
‘Hardly old, Ma’am.’
‘Oh, I love you more by the second. I must get one just like you. Where did Payne find you?’
‘On the steps of the house when I delivered a telegram,’ he replied.
‘Well, that makes sense. And he’s another lovely young man,’ she added, aiming a jewelled hand at the bell-pull and missing.
James rang it for her.
‘I’ve always admired Payne’s loyalty,’ she said. ‘He put up with so much under the tortoise. I am quite glad Tripp has gone. Look after Thomas too, if you can. That man carries more affection than is good for him, and he needs an outlet. I study people, James… May I call you James? Of course I can, I’m a bloody viscountess, I can do what I want.’ She laughed
loudly once, and the sound echoed along the avenue. ‘But sincerely, James. Keep your eye on Archer for me and be a good friend to Thomas. You will do well to do so.’
An immaculately dressed butler opened the door.
‘Ah, Saunders,’ she said. ‘I shall be one moment.’
The butler bowed his head, gave James a quizzical look and stepped back inside leaving the door open.
‘One last thing,’ her ladyship whispered. ‘My ear is always open to you on any matter.’
‘Thank you, Ma’am.’ Her conversation had been both flattering and confusing, but he put that down to the way the woman had taken to him so quickly. It was unnerving to be so trusted on first sight. ‘I’ll say goodnight, Ma’am, but can I ask you one thing?’
‘Anything, dear boy.’
‘When I return to the house, should I enter through the front door, or the back?’
‘If I were you,’ she said, putting her lips to his ear. ‘I’d enter from behind. I hear that’s how men like it.’ She nudged him playfully, sniggered and in a completely different tone, called, ‘Yes, Saunders, alright. I am coming. I can hear your disapproval from here.’
James returned as quickly as his sore feet would allow, passing Clearwater House and taking the alley to the yard. He was about to ring the back doorbell when he stopped. There was no need. This was his home.
He found Thomas in the servants’ hall, and having locked up, they headed for their rooms high above. There, James realised he’d not had time to light his fire.
‘Light the gas while you wash,’ Thomas suggested. ‘It soon warms up. You can take a bath if you want, but join me for a drink before you turn in?’
‘You can drink in your room?’
‘We can do what we want, but you need to be on duty by seven in the morning. I’ll wake you, I’m in the habit of rising in plenty of time.’
James, also tired, decided to bathe in the morning, but he stripped to his underclothes and washed, shivering despite the gas fire which hissed and glowed in the grate. He had no dressing gown, and he knocked on Thomas’ door wearing his shirt.
Twisted Tracks (The Clearwater Mysteries Book 2) Page 17