by Emma Lea
“You don’t believe me,” Carson said with a sigh. “Come on Nate, what would I get out of telling you this?”
“Exactly,” Nate said. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I love her,” Carson said simply and sadly. “I love her and I want her to be happy. She’s my friend, if nothing else, and I know how miserable she has been without you. If I can’t make her happy then I want her to be with someone who can and the only person who seems to fit the bill is you.”
“What about the engagement?”
Carson shrugged. “It was fake. I thought it might get her to agree to marry me but it was a stupid thing to do. It was also a way to explain why she spent the night with me.”
Nate’s fingers tightened around his glass until his knuckles turned white.
“Relax,” Carson said, lifting his glass to his lips and taking a sip. “Nothing happened. She was upset about Nadine and the band thing and she didn’t want to go back to the bus. We had some wine and she talked and then she fell asleep. I didn’t touch her.”
Nate let out a slow breath. When Mabel had yelled at him he thought it would be easy to go to Stevie and plead for forgiveness. He thought he could explain why he’d walked away from her, but seeing her in Carson’s arms had driven a stake into his heart. He’d thought it was all over, that he’d wasted his time. He thought that he was too late. But now here was Carson telling him that there was still hope. It was hard to let his heart hope again. Every time he thought that something in his life was going to turn out, something went wrong and his heart once again took a battering. Walking away from Stevie had been self-preservation. He’d needed to keep his heart safe. He didn’t think he could risk being vulnerable; didn’t believe he would make it out alive.
Now he had to decide whether to try again. He had to decide whether to once again risk his heart. The was no guarantee that Stevie would forgive him. There was no guarantee that making himself vulnerable before her would result in her returning his love. But if there was anyone worth the risk, it was Stevie.
“Stevie? What’s wrong?”
Stevie turned to Derek and gave him the evil eye.
“Why is Nate here? Did you ask him to come to replace Court’n Jacks on Lily’s tour?”
“What? Nate’s here?”
“Oh don’t play dumb with me. You knew he was here. You asked him to come.”
Derek took a step toward her and she stepped back. He held out his hands in a placating gesture, but didn’t come any closer.
“I didn’t call Nate. I haven’t spoken to Nate. I don’t know why he’s here.”
Stevie crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her gaze at Derek. Derek didn’t try to look away or convince her of his honesty. Stevie slumped and covered her face with her hands.
“If you didn’t call him, then why is he here?”
Derek stepped forward and rested his big hands on her shoulders.
“My guess?” he said. “I think he’s here for you. That boy is in love with you. He came to be with you, to support you.”
“I want to believe that,” Stevie said, “but he’s never stuck by me before. Why is it different this time?”
Derek sighed. “I have known that boy for the last five years and sometimes I have no idea what crazy thoughts go through his head. But what I do know is that he has changed. The Nate that has been slogging it out at those festivals is not the same guy who sold his soul to Rocksteady. He has grown up and I am proud of him and excited for this next chapter in his life. I truly believe that he is here for you. Does he know what’s going on with the band?”
Stevie nodded and stepped forward, resting her head against Derek’s massive shoulder. “We’ve been talking on the phone. He’s been checking in with me, making sure I’m okay.”
“Stevie,” Derek said softly. “He came here for you. There is no ulterior motive, I promise. I wouldn’t do that to you, you know that. Nate is my friend, but I wouldn’t give him your gig without discussing it with you first.”
Stevie sighed. “I know. I just don’t want to get my hopes up if he’s just going to let me down again.”
Derek tucked a finger under her chin and lifted her face so he could see her eyes. “I truly believe he came here to make things right with you. Do you know he hasn’t played your song at any of his gigs? He refuses to sing it with anyone else.”
Stevie smiled. “Really?’
“Really,” Derek said.
Could it really be true? Had Nate come here for her? Her smile fell. He walked in on Carson kissing her, did that mean that he had left again? Had she missed her chance to get him back?
“Hey! Where are you going?” Derek said, taking a hold of her elbow as she tried to leave the dressing room.
“I have to find him. I need to see him, talk to him.”
“Not now you don’t,” Derek said. “You have a gig to get ready for.”
“But—”
“Not now, Stevie. You can speak to him after the concert. There is a full stadium out there and they are not going to be happy if you make them wait.”
“Fine,” Stevie said, she just hoped that Nate would still be there when the concert was finished.
Chapter Nineteen
The crowd roared their approval as the song came to a close. Stevie breathed it in. She couldn’t explain how the crowd’s energy infused her; how it made her feel so alive. She loved this feeling and it wasn’t just the adoration. It was more like validation for who she was and what she did and there weren’t many times in her life when she felt so absolutely complete.
The sound of a lone guitar began to play and the crowd fell silent. Stevie froze. This wasn’t part of the set. She hadn’t played this song in over five years. She looked around for Jace, but her eyes caught on the massive screen that was at the back of the stage. There she was, on the screen, sitting on a stool on the stage at the Red Boot with her guitar and Nate was sitting beside her. The crowd erupted as she stood there staring at the screen and wondering how the hell this was happening.
A second guitar joined the first, except it wasn’t coming from the video that was playing. Stevie whipped her head around to see Nate walking out on stage playing his battered acoustic, the same one that was in the video. The crowd roared when they saw him. Someone handed her a guitar and she knew without looking that it was her Takamine, the same one as in the video. She was too stunned to react, but her fingers curled around the neck and found the chords even before her brain engaged. The sound of the video was muted as she and Nate played the intro again. He came to stand beside her with a rueful smile on his face.
“Nate Nash, everyone,” Jace said into his mic and the crowd screamed their approval.
“I hope you don’t mind,” he said and although he was mic’ed, Stevie knew he was aiming the comment at her. She shook her head and cleared her throat. Nate looked out into the crowd and smiled. “How’re you all doing tonight,” he called to the crowd and they cheered their response. “I hope you don’t mind me hijacking Court’n Jacks’ gig, but if you don’t know, we have a song out together.” The audience responded and Stevie could see the same showmanship that she’d glimpsed long ago. “What you may not know is that Stevie and I used to sing and play together years ago and if she’ll join me, I’d like to do one of our old songs.”
Stevie’s eyes widened as the stadium erupted once again. “Are you sure?” Stevie whispered furiously to him.
“Oh yeah,” he said with a smile and kissed her cheek which was met with screams from the audience.
Nate began to play the song again and Stevie joined in. It was a song that had once meant so much to her but one that she no longer played. She had written it for Nate and when he had left her for Rocksteady, it had hurt too much to play it.
“When the road gets rough,” Nate sang and Stevie closed her eyes as his voice flowed over her. “When the sun won’t seem to set. When the work is hard and the day is long, I think of you.”
“When the night is dark,” Stevie took up her part, “When there’s no moon or stars. When sleep won’t come and dawn seems too far away, I think of you.”
They sang the chorus together and something in Stevie’s heart broke open.
You’re always there, even when you’re far away
When I don’t think I can go on
I remember what you said
You promised that no matter what
You’d be there for me
They sang together and Stevie couldn’t tear her eyes away from Nate. She felt some sort of déjà vu or out-of-body experience. The world got a little wobbly and the stadium melted away until it was just Stevie and Nate with their battered guitars singing a song she wrote. Did he know it was about him, before all that shit happened?
The song ended and there was a beat of silence. Nate leaned towards her and cradled her face in his hands before kissing her on the lips and a storm broke over the crowd, the noise was so loud.
“I love you,” he whispered against her lips so that no one else could hear them.
“I love you too,” she whispered back before kissing him again.
He pulled back and grinned at her and then turned to the stage to signal the band and the intro to ‘No Good for You’ began. Stevie had to mentally give herself a shake to bring her brain back to the here and now. They were on stage and she had a concert to finish. She had no fucking clue what was going on and what Nate’s declaration meant. She was too scared to get her hopes up, but having him on the stage beside her singing their song together felt right and lifted her spirits. Maybe, just maybe, they had a chance to make whatever was between them work.
They left the stage hand in hand. Stevie’s mind was a fog as she went through the backstage. She was on autopilot. She just needed to get to the dressing room with Nate. They needed to talk, she needed an explanation. And she needed him to kiss her again, properly this time with tongue and teeth and his arms around her. She needed to feel his body pressed up against hers without guitars in the way and without a million eyes watching them.
People congratulated them. People slapped them both on the back. Words of praise were yelled at them, but Stevie heard none of it. She was focused only on the hand holding hers and the direction they were heading. It felt like a dream, like she was moving against the current and she couldn’t get to where she needed to be. Eventually the crowd that had gathered backstage, the crowd that had been pressing in on her and impeding her progress, parted and she was standing before her dressing room door. Nate stepped in front of her and opened the door, pulling her inside and then closing it. He pushed her up against it and she smelled the distinct scent of him as he lowered his mouth to hers. The familiar weight of his body against her broke down the last of her walls and he kissed her. She opened to him greedily. This was not a tentative, exploratory kiss. This was all hunger and need. She needed to taste him. She needed to feel the silky slide of his tongue against hers.
Her hands fumbled with his shirt, desperate to get to the warm skin beneath. He did that thing where he pulled his shirt over his head with one hand and her fingers eagerly skimmed over the exposed skin, re-learning the hills and valleys.
“Stevie,” he mumbled, but she shushed him with another drugging kiss.
“Not now,” she said as she licked the side of his neck tasting his sweat. “After. Need you now.”
He took a breath and stepped back. She looked up at him with something akin to hurt on her face. It was the hardest thing he had ever done, but they needed to talk before the fell into each other’s arms again.
“We need to talk now,” he said softly.
She huffed out an exasperated breath and thunked her head back against the door.
“I was wrong,” he said.
“Huh?” She opened her eyes to look at him.
“I was wrong, when I said I was no good for you.”
She smiled at him and he sucked in a breath. God she was beautiful.
“You were,” she said. “Luckily I didn’t believe you. You needed space to figure your own shit out and I get that. I know there’s more we need to talk about and we will, I promise, but first I need you. I’ve missed you so much and right now all I want to do is remember the good things between us. We can talk logistics and all that other bullshit later. Right now I’m desperate for you, without the talking.”
He didn’t need to be told again. Nate had missed her too and wanted her with every fiber of his being. He pulled off her shirt and nipped at her shoulder. Her hands were busy at his buckle, desperate to get him naked as quickly as possible. She could feel his cock straining against the denim and wanted to free him and hold the heavy length in her hands. She groaned at the thought of his velvet heat filling her palms as her fingers curled around his thick girth and doubled her efforts to get his buckle undone.
Nate, meanwhile, had unclasped her bra and palmed her breasts. She shivered with delight as he lowered his hot mouth to one tip and sucked her hungrily. Finally his buckle came free and then the button on his jeans. She unzipped him, careful not to damage him, and shoved her hands inside, eager to feel him. He thrust into her hands as she gripped his cock and they both groaned, the vibration buzzing against her breast and sending heat straight to her clit.
His hands found the hem of her skirt and shoved it up to her waist. Then he was pulling at her panties as she pushed his jeans and boxers from his hips. He caught them before they fell and pulled out his wallet, retrieving the magical condom from inside it. She grabbed at it and tore it open, desperate to feel him inside her. She rolled it on and then he was pushing into her. He pressed her against the wall and she lifted her legs, clasping them around his hips as he sunk into her, filling her. She sighed as she let her eyes roll back and her lids flutter shut. He nuzzled her neck as they stood, joined, and took a moment to enjoy the feel of each other.
“Nate,” she breathed as she wiggled in his arms. The need for him to move became desperate. She wanted to feel the long slide of him against her core, she wanted to feel the thrusting of his hips as he pushed into her again and again, touching her where only he could. He sunk his teeth into her neck as he pulled out. Her fingers dug into the flesh of his shoulders and she tightened her legs around him, urging him back in. He thrust hard, the door behind her rattling with the force of his thrust. She didn’t care, she wanted more.
“Harder,” she said, “Faster.”
It would be easy to think that this was just adrenalin from the show. Or maybe it was just loneliness and mutual need. But to Stevie it felt so much more than that. Sex had never been like this with anyone other than Nate. It wasn’t that he was some super sex god with a magical cock. It was because it was more than just a joining of bodies, it was also a joining of hearts. A joining of souls. That was why it felt this way with Nate and no one else. He was, and had always been, her soulmate.
“So good,” he growled in her ear as he pistoned into her. She could only moan in response.
Her nails scored the bare skin on his back as her climax bore down on her. Weeks of missing him, weeks of dreaming about him had left her aching and needy and the relief of finally having him inside her, of having his hands all over her and his mouth nipping and sucking her skin pushed her orgasm forward with power. She felt the moment when everything seemed to slow and the world faded just before it exploded into a million tiny pieces. She cried out and Nate stilled, his body stiffening as he came, hard. He fell against her, panting. They somehow slid down the door until they were lying in a tangled heap of arms and legs.
Nate looked at her and lifted a hand to brush a stray curl from her eyes. The look in his eyes was intense and she felt she could see into his very soul.
“I love you, Stevie,” he said before kissing her tenderly.
They managed to get dressed and slip out of the dressing room and into Nate’s rental car without anyone seeing them. Stevie figured people knew they needed this time and had purposely avoided them. Whatever the r
eason, she was grateful. She didn’t even care where they were going, she just let Nate drive.
“Stevie,” he said softly, his hand coming to rest on her thigh. “We’re here.”
She opened her eyes and smiled as her door was opened by a valet. She stepped out and waited for Nate. He put a hand on the small of her back and led her into the lobby of the hotel. They went straight to the elevators and stepped inside. Nate pulled her against his body and she rested her head on his chest as the elevator rose. The elevator dinged and the doors opened and Nate led her through the door to his room. As the door closed, he pulled her into his arms again and just held her. Her arms wound around him and she soaked him in.
“I owe you an explanation,” he murmured and when she went to pull away, he held her tighter. “Not yet,” he said into her hair and she relaxed against him.
“I was a coward,” he said. “I’ve always been a coward. I signed with Rocksteady because I was afraid. I let them make all the decisions in my career because I was afraid. And when I was finally pulling myself out of the pile of crap being with them had landed me in, I walked away from you a second time because I was afraid.”
“Nate,” she began but he cut her off.
“Shh. Let me finish. I need to say this.” She settled against him and listened to the rumble of his voice through his chest.
“Working with you in Nashville was more than I could have ever hoped for. You talking to me again after everything I did was a minor miracle. I never expected things to ever get beyond that. But then you blew me away with your forgiveness and your love. I’ve never experienced anything like it before. You know my past with my family and I couldn’t quite believe that you could really be in love with me. People only ever seemed to love me when I could do something for them. I should have known that you weren’t like that. You have been the only person who has seen the real me and accepted me just as I am. The power you had over me scared me. I didn’t know how to cope with all these big emotions. I felt so guilty for what I had done to you and I didn’t think I deserved another chance. I didn’t want to taint your career with the stink of my own and I just thought that you would be better off without me.”