Both women stepped forward and laid a hand on me but Sharon spoke first. “Don’t be upset with Claudia. We knew there had to be a reason you never reached out to her, but Jaya wouldn’t hear of it. She was heartbroken, her trust had been destroyed. She assumed you didn’t care and didn’t love her and she wanted to hear nothing more of you.”
Shit! Jaya hated me so much she didn’t care if anything happened to me while I was off serving our country.
“I never got any emails from her. Not one.” I assumed she’d cut me out for cutting her out of the decision I’d made about my future. Truthfully it was supposed to be our future but in my naiveté, I figured she would eventually get over it.
Apparently she hadn’t.
“We figured that honey,” Sharon soothed while Ma stood frozen with tears in her eyes.
“I’m sorry Colt but I didn’t want to add anything that might distract you. I wanted you safe while you served our country. I never believed you didn’t care but…,” Her shoulders shook with tears and Sharon enveloped Ma in her arms.
“We all did what we thought was best and we can’t change it now.”
I knew they were right, but it didn’t make me feel any damn better about any of it. She wanted nothing to do with me and I felt like everyone knew the full story except me. They were all a little too understanding. A bit too damn sad about high school sweethearts who’d broken up. I figured I owed her for leaving and hurting her the way I had, but she owed me too dammit.
I would give Jaya a few days to cool down but we weren’t done. Not by a longshot.
Jaya
Walking around the city had always soothed me. The sights and sounds of Chicago, the scents and all the different people from all walks of life helped me put things in perspective. Miami had been great, colorful and vibrant and lively. But it would never have the appeal of home. Chicago was my city and being on the streets now made me realize how much I missed this place.
I hadn’t spent much time just walking in years, not since the semester I left University of Chicago after my life had fallen apart and turned to shit. After that, I’d walked around for hours trying to make sense of my life, of losing the things that mattered most to me.
I hadn’t been prepared for either loss, and they had rocked me. Proven to me that I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was. It was these streets, the sounds of Lake Michigan, that soothed me enough to help me figure out my life. To help me forget Colt and the memories we’d made around the city. Today I remembered it all. I remember every detail that had sent me to Louisiana for college, and then Florida for work.
Just because we lived in the same city didn’t mean I had to see him. I could avoid him, and it wasn’t like we traveled in the same circles. He was a well-known, wealthy security specialist and I didn’t have any social circles remaining in Chicago. The first step would be to get my own place so there was less chance of running into him at Mom’s, and I could visit her during the week until I found a job. Somewhere. Hell, anywhere would be great as long as I could pay the bills and forget about my life for a little while.
I refused to go back into police work after what happened in Miami, though everyone assumed it was because the events had scarred me horribly, that wasn’t the truth. Well, the physical scarring did exist, but really it was the emotional damage of being thrown under the bus for shooting the so-called victim who’d charged me to save her abusive asshole husband. Instead of apologizing—to John who’d survived—I submitted my resignation and kept my mouth shut. Before leaving the place that had been my home for most of my adult life, I made sure to square things with Jeffries and started physical therapy. The Miami part of my life was over.
In the past.
Nothing but a goddamn memory.
Had I known what, or rather who was waiting for me back here I might have chosen any other spot on the map. Not that it was too late. Other than Mom, there was nothing tying me to Chicago. I could go to California or Boston and start a new life there.
Hell, I could literally go to Timbuktu. The problem was I missed Mom. Missed seeing her on a regular basis and I wanted to be close to her.
I won’t let him take everything from me again.
My shoulder started to throb again, just as the doctor said it would if I didn’t take those damn pills four times a day. But the damn things made me drowsy so I only took them before bed.
I’d been walking long enough and it would take time to get home even if I hopped on the train, and I had no plans to do that. I wanted to limit my exposure to people, so I waited until the light changed before turning back and retracing my path home, passing over my favorite deep dish pizza joint, the bar I tried sneaking into at least a dozen times when I was underage, and I wasn’t even tempted by the Chicago-style hot dogs. None of it tempted me as the pain overtook me, blurring my vision and speeding up my heart rate. When I finally pushed through the door of Mom’s swanky new apartment I was exhausted, hurting and ready for bed.
If the murmurs I heard didn’t tell me my plans were about to put on hold, the sight of Mom and Colt having coffee and chocolate chip cookies did. She beamed a smile up at me and patted the sofa between them.
“Honey, come and join us. Colt dropped by to say hello, wasn’t that sweet?”
Yeah sweet like a lemon. “No thanks Mom. I need to rest.” If she and Colt wanted to play old friends, they could have at it. I had no interest in that game.
“All you do is sleep Jaya. You need to start living your life again sweetheart.” I could hear the worry and frustration in her voice but like most civilians, Mom didn’t understand.
I bit my tongue to avoid lashing out at her. She didn’t deserve it, even if her meddling was reaching unbearable proportions. “Sorry Mom if the two bullets in my shoulder prevent me from being a social butterfly. I’ll try to do better.”
“But Colt came all this way…” she began.
“He didn’t come to see me, and I’m not in the mood to socialize Mom.” I sent a glare his way and turned towards the guest room.
“Good.” Colt stood and his eyes were full of amusement and that just pissed me off. “This isn’t a social call. I need your help.”
I looked away. “I doubt that very much.” I knew exactly what this was about. He wanted to assuage his guilt. At least that much hadn’t changed about him.
“Seriously Jaya,” he grabbed my uninjured arm but I yanked it away. He didn’t get to touch me like he had the right. Like we were friends. “I need someone to do tactical training and logistics. We’re growing too fast and I could use someone with your skills. And you need a job.” His expression was fierce, eyes as blue as the sea practically stared through me.
I looked back, taking in everything that had changed since I had known him as a newly minted adult at twenty years old. His body had developed, broader shoulders with more lean muscles, and he held himself with more confidence. He was a man in control of his destiny. There were a few laugh lines around those blue eyes, which didn’t surprise me because Colt had always been quick to laugh, to make others laugh. His facial features were sharper, jawline rugged with a strong chin and high cheekbones. And damn him, those pink lips that had taught me how to kiss. How to laugh. How to love.
Working with him might be difficult, more than that if I was honest. But it might be easier than trying to figure out what kind of job to get next.
“Send me the details. I’ll think about it,” I told him and closed the door behind me, taking my pills and falling asleep before my head hit the pillow.
***
“You need to find a physical therapist.” Mom stood over me, hands fisted on her hips and a scowl fixed on her face. She wouldn’t stop until I committed to staying in Chicago, which to her meant finding a physical therapist and a shrink. I already had her beat on the first. I knew my shoulder would never be at one hundred percent, but if I slacked off now it would always be stiff and useless.
“I have an appointment today Mom so if you don�
��t mind, I’d like to lie here and enjoy the sun for a few minutes.” The penthouse balcony meant I could lounge around outdoors without being disturbed by noise. And people.
Mostly.
“I’ll drop you off on my way to meet with a client and I can pick you up when I’m done.” Mom spent most of her life running a small accounting business, but after the death of my stepfather Clint she’d dropped down to part time after finding out just how much money he’d left for her. And for me as well, though we weren’t close, and I hadn’t touch any of it. Yet.
“I’ll take the train Mom.” If the rain didn’t come I might even decide to walk. “Besides I have a few appointments after therapy and I don’t want you waiting for me.” I needed to find a place to live. I loved my mother and I knew she didn’t mind me living here, but she would continue to meddle if I stayed, and I needed my own space. The last thing I needed was to come home again to find Colt having milk and cookies like we were all kids again.
“Fine,” she sighed looking both sad and disappointed, but I was too tired to figure out why. “Do it your way. I’m just happy you’re finally taking care of yourself again.”
I sighed at her words. She didn’t understand, she never would, and I was pleased about that. Yet… “It was three weeks Mom. I have months of recovery to go through yet, and I had to figure out if I was staying in Chicago.”
“So, you’ve decided then?” Her words were hopeful, but I couldn’t lie to her. I never could.
“For now, but who knows Mom. Life happens.” And for the foreseeable future life meant two hours of therapy every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It was a huge commitment and one I had to see through for my own damn good.
“Don’t let Colt run you out of town again sweetheart. Maybe he’s changed too.”
“It doesn’t matter to me if he’s changed or not. I came here to be close to you and I have no interest in developing any kind of relationship with him.”
She sighed again. That same disappointed sigh she used when I was a kid. It was her way of telling me she expected more of me. “You really should consider seeing a psychiatrist, Jaya.”
She was right, but I wasn’t ready. I still felt nothing but anger and contempt for Maureen Daly and I couldn’t bring myself to muster up any remorse for her after what happened to my partner. In fact, I blamed her for everything, more than John, who it turned out hadn’t killed our murder victim. He would spend a long time in prison for shooting two police officers and holding his wife hostage though, so I guess that was something. I threw off the blanket and sat up. “I need to get going Mom.”
She followed me back inside. “I hope you’ve given Colt’s offer serious consideration. It might be awkward, but you were friends first, remember that. And this could be a wonderful opportunity for you Jaya.”
“Yeah out of guilt, but,” I held up a hand to stop her defense of Colt, “I am considering it. Only for the job Mom so don’t get any ideas.”
She held both hands in the air and backed away from me with a grin. “Of course not honey.” Planting a quick kiss on my cheek she grabbed her purse and dashed towards the door. “Love you sweetie!”
I shook my head at her newfound cheekiness. It was nice having Mom around again, even if she was a little off her rocker.
Colt
“I am considering your offer but we need to set out a few ground rules.”
This version of Jaya was stronger. Fiercer. More confident than the young woman I knew and loved years ago. She crossed her denim-clad legs in a move that was unconsciously sexy thanks to long, toned legs that she’d honed to perfection over the years. She wore a fitted green top that showed off lightly muscular arms dotted with freckles. At first glance she was my old Jaya but she held herself apart from me, stiff and formal, and her arm resting in a sling told the real story of this adult version of my first love.
My only love.
“Ground rules?”
She nodded, expression serious but subdued. “Yes. This is the best offer I’ve had, but I’ll turn it down if this is some ploy to assuage your guilt or try to get a little memory lane booty.”
I choked on a sip of lager. “Memory lane booty?”
“Yeah, trying to fuck for old time’s sake. I’m not interested in anything more than a professional relationship with you.”
“And you think I want something more?” Of course I did, but she didn’t need to know that.
“I don’t know what you want Colt, I never have. That’s why I’m telling you what I want and don’t want.” Her jaw clenched, in frustration, or anger, or pain, I didn’t really know. But I read the flashing ‘fuck off’ sign she put out loud and clear.
How could she think she never knew what I wanted? It had always been her. A future together. It’s why I joined the Navy so I would have the experience, training and connections to make my business succeed.
“This job will require us to work together Jaya. Spend time together.”
She nodded, using her good hand to move a few stray strands of hair out of her face, looking so much like the fifteen-year-old girl I’d fallen head over heels in love with; it made my chest ache.
“I accept that will happen, but that’s all that’ll happen Colt.”
Damn I loved the way her voice sounded when she said my name, even when it was filled with frustration and disgust.
“Will you at least tell me what exactly I did to make you hate me so much?” Her posture stiffened immediately and the expression in her eyes immediately shuttered.
“And no talk of our past. I don’t care if people know we used to know each other, but they don’t need to know anything else.”
“Many of them served with me Jaya. They already know who you are.” Just because she’d forgotten me didn’t mean I had done the same. “There’s nothing that can be done about that.”
“This was a bad idea,” she stood and dug a few bills from her pocket though she’d only had a bottle of sparkling water. “You should find someone else.”
I grabbed her good arm before she could barrel past me. “Will you stop being so damn stubborn! I need someone with your skills and you need a job, what the hell is so difficult about that?”
Stubborn as ever, Jaya yanked her arm from my grasp and I let her go, not wanting to cause her further pain. She stepped back and sucked in a deep breath.
“I suppose for you it isn’t,” she added sarcastically. “Whatever, just keep it professional and we won’t have a problem. And I’m not signing a contract. I’ll leave when I want.”
“I require four weeks notice Jaya. These are carefully orchestrated missions in dangerous parts of the world and I can’t be without my logistics team.”
“Fine.” She glared at me before walking away and I couldn’t help but watch the sway of her hips, the curve of her ass while she did it, looking like the finest slice of trouble around.
Jaya could lay down all the ground rules she wanted but I didn’t give up easy before. Surviving four tours of duty and starting a business had given me more determination, more stubbornness and more tenacity than ever before.
That all meant one thing. Jaya would be mine.
***
“This is the logistics room where we work out everything for private security detail, especially travelling, and ex-fil missions.”
I appeared calm and smooth on the surface, but inside I wanted to smile and shake my ass because I’d gotten Jaya to agree to work for me. It had taken nearly a month to get her to agree, but here she was. Right where I wanted her.
“Do you have contacts all over the world to help with these logistics?” She looked around, green eyes taking in every detail.
“Yes. We have a database that you’ll use to coordinate. When your teams are out in the field you will always be on call in case shit goes sideways.”
“Okay. Are there any special software programs I need to know?”
She was keeping things professional and I admired her effort but I wouldn’t have
any of that, especially with those sexy freckles on display. “Yeah there are a few and we’ll go over them for the next couple days. But first I need you to meet the team.”
“Is that really necessary Colt?” The stiff set of her shoulders sent warning bells off in my head, I didn’t understand her hesitation.
“It is. Do you have a good reason for not meeting them?”
“No,” she sighed and straightened her shoulders. Eyes closed she took several deep breaths and laid those emerald green eyes on me, slicing me wide open. Every. Damn. Time. “Let’s do it.”
She put on a brave face but her posture was a bit too tense, and the tight lines around her eyes said something else. “Are you sure you’re okay Jaya? I mean if you need more time then you have it.”
She shook her head and blew out a breath, warm cinnamon breath making me want a taste of that sweet mouth. “Nope. Not necessary. I’m fine. Let’s do this.”
Damn stubborn woman. She would rather go through hell than ask for help, especially from me.
“Jaya.”
“Colt I said I’m fine.”
I flung an arm around her shoulder and smiled at her. “In that case let’s go meet the team.”
She pasted on the fakest smile I’d ever seen, but only someone who knew her well would notice. She stepped forward, smiled wider and charmed the entire Sharpe Focus team just like I knew she would. Seeing the old Jaya was nice and dammit if it didn’t make me want her all over again. Not that I ever stopped. My need for her has been a constant for most of my life, I just pushed it down and focused on life as a SEAL and then as the owner of one of the fastest growing security agencies in the world. But now that she was back in town. Back in my life. Well hell, all bets were off.
“Come on, let’s grab some lunch.”
“Hey Colt, got a minute?”
Ethan Gellar, my friend and business partner, plus all around tech genius stopped us in the hall. “Hey Ethan. I want you to meet Jaya, she’ll be helping with logistics and eventually, training.”
Seal'd to Her: A Billionaire Second Chance Romance Page 2