She stood up quickly following the uncomfortable silence, but I put a hand on hers to stop her, “Jaime, it’s okay,” I said reassuringly. But I was looking into Ally’s eyes when I said, “It’s no secret that I was in jail. We don’t have to dance around the subject.” I squeezed her hand in comfort as I looked at my sister again and then I turned my gaze back to Ally, “People are going to talk, draw their own conclusions, however wrong they may be. But we are going to get on with our lives, and they can think what they want.”
“But, Jason they don’t know that you…” she started.
“Jaime, I served my time,” I interrupted before she could say anything else. “It’s over and done with. We know the truth, and that’s enough for me. I just want to move on. Can you do that for me?”
She squeezed my hand back, “Yeah, I guess,” she said but there was a distinct hint of sadness in her tone. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel guilty for my crimes.
“We’ll get through this,” I said again.
“I know, I love you,” she said and offered a half smile. It was a glimmer of hope in a dark stormy ocean, but it was something.
“I love you too. Now, let me help you with these dishes.”
Jamie would have none of it. She shooed me away and told me to go on upstairs and get some rest. She had already put fresh sheets on the bed and set a new toothbrush out for me to use. She knew today had been a long emotional day for me. I hated to admit it, but I was exhausted. The southern manners that our parents had instilled in us warred with the exhaustion, but the exhaustion won fair and square.
I hugged her goodnight, gave a curt nod to Ally, and went up to my room. Grabbing my new toothbrush, I headed to the half bath to brush my teeth before crawling into my old bed. It was a little small for me now, only a full-size mattress, but I didn’t care. Anything beat the threadbare blankets and concrete bed with the half an inch mattress, that I had called home for the past eight years.
It couldn’t have taken me long to fall asleep, and for most part I was dead to the world until the nightmares started. They used to plague me every night in prison at the start of my sentence, but slowly over the years they faded, re-occurring once in awhile. It had been months since the last one, and it was always the same nightmare, with varied endings. It was like the replay of a horror film. This time I wasn’t able to get to Jaime in time, an invisible wall kept me from pulling the bastard off of her. The sick fuck just turned and grinned at me before he continued to assault my baby sister. I pounded and screamed and threw my body at the wall, desperate to get to her as she screamed and cried out for help.
I woke drenched in sweat with the covers tangled around me. Despite the sweat, goosebumps raised on my arms as chills wracked my body. This had been one of the bad ones. Rubbing my hands across my face, I threw off the covers and padded to bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. That was it for the night, I wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep now. I glanced up in the mirror in front of me, and instead of the rugged hardened criminal, it was a younger version of myself staring back at me. In a matter of a night, everything had changed. One moment I had been playing football, attempted to attend classes, I had friends from here to Texas, and then just like that, in the blink of an eye I lost it all. Because of one sequence of events. I would never call, what I did, a mistake because it sure as hell was justice. But that was my opinion, and no one else shared in that. I scooped some more water and splashed my face again before tugging the hand-towel off the rail and patting my face dry.
Not wanting to wake Jaime, I tiptoed downstairs and into the kitchen. It was time for the most epic chick move of all, comfort food. Ice cream and root beer, I had spotted the root beer earlier when I was in the kitchen just before Jamie had dished up dinner, and I knew for a fact that there was ice cream left after desert. I grabbed what I needed, quickly scooped a few large dollops of vanilla ice cream into the glass and topped it up with root beer. Ignoring the remnants of my nightmare, I took a big mouthful. The tang of the soda mixed with the sweetness of the ice cream was perfection. It tasted much better than I remembered. I moved to the table and sat down with my treat. I was just about to take another slurp when I heard the hinges of the kitchen door creaking. Looking up, I saw the silhouette of a short, fuller figure tiptoeing to the fridge. It had to be Ally. Jaimie was much taller and more slender. Plus, I would recognize that shape, even in the dark.
I sat there, with my spoon frozen in mid-air unsure of what to do. I could make a noise and let her know I was here, but I didn’t want to startle her and have her wake up the whole damn neighborhood.
I was about to clear my throat when the fridge opened and the light illuminated her enticing body. She was wearing a sleep shirt that ended just below her ass, which reminded me of old times, when she would sleep over. Desire made my mouth run dry. Wordlessly, I watched her get out a can of soda. When she moved to the freezer, I looked at her quizzically. Surely, she wasn’t making a root beer float too?
I watched her search the freezer for a few moments. She rose up on her toes to search the top shelf and I knew for a fact that her sleep shirt had ridden up and was most likely exposing her fine ass. But all I could see was the outline of her, and my imagination ran wild with its own imagery. Involuntarily, I cleared my throat as I continue to stare at her.
With a sharp intake of breath, she whirled around clutching the soda to her chest.
“Sorry Ally,” I said quickly before she could scream. “I swear I didn’t mean to scare you. I just didn’t know how to get your attention without startling you.”
“What are you doing sitting in the dark?” Eyeing me suspiciously, she walked over to the far wall and flipped on the middle switch. The dining room light flashed on, momentarily blinding me. The dots cleared from my vision, and I could finally see her in living color, not just a haunting image of her. But now she was hidden behind the island and all I could see what the top half of her.
I was sick of her attitude towards me. “I just wanted a root beer float,” I said pointing to the ice cream container and the empty can on the table next to me.
She opened her mouth to speak, but I stood up, scraping my chair back, and she froze. I just shook my head at her.
“I don’t know what your problem with me is, but don’t worry Princess, I’m no longer in the mood.” Grabbing my glass and spoon, I stalked over to the sink. Pouring the contents down the drain, I rinsed the glass and spoon and put them on the rack. Making sure to skirt around the opposite edge of the island, I ignored her completely as I headed out.
“Jason wait,” she called out. “I didn’t mean to…”
More hurt than angry I lashed out “Didn’t mean to what? Didn’t mean to treat me like the monster I am? Don’t bother denying it, I can see the way that you look at me.”
She just stood there, open mouthed, her eyes never leaving mine.
“Look, I never expected my homecoming to be easy, but I sure as hell didn’t expect to have this kind of animosity in my own home. Not from you of all people.”
I pushed through the kitchen door and stalked upstairs, not caring if I woke Jaime up.
Ally
Is that what he thought, did he really think I saw him as a monster?
Shame washed over me, as I watched the kitchen door swing close. How could I have been so cruel, and twice in one night? The first time, I admit he had caught me completely off guard. I had come home; completely oblivious to the fact that Jason was here too.
My mind had been so preoccupied that I hardly paid attention to the fact that while Jamie was downstairs, the shower was running. It never once dawned on me that it would be him of all people. I certainly never expected him to stalk into the bedroom stark naked. Boy what a sight that had been!
I felt the familiar blush creep up my neck as I recalled the way the water had glistened over his taut, muscular body. He had seemed taller, but he had also packed on quite a bit more muscle. His shoulders were broad, l
eading down to thick pecs. His waist tapered in, highlighting a much defined six pack, with just a small trail of dark brown hair leading down past the sharp muscular cut at his hips that was probably the sexiest part of the male anatomy.
This wasn’t the body of a teenage boy anymore. This was the body of a man, a man who had lived hard and on the edge, if the scars on his torso were anything to go by. Instead of repulsing me, it had the complete opposite effect. In those few seconds that I was face to face with him, after my initial shock had faded, I had wanted to trace those scars with my fingertips, hell; I wanted to trace them with the tip of my tongue. And then of course, when he dropped the facecloth, I couldn’t help it; my gaze had immediately dropped following the small trail down to thick dark curls that surrounded his cock. By pure speculation and comparison with my attempts at moving on, he was the biggest one of them all. By all, I mean the two men I attempted to date after Jason disappeared out of my life.
Even limp it had been an impressive display of manhood. A thick shaft hung down at least six inches before tapering into a large pink head. My mouth had gone dry, just looking at the thick veins that wrapped around his girth. Shocked at myself and my brazenness, I had quickly looked back up to his face and screamed, more from embarrassment than anything. But he didn’t know that.
Oh God! What if he thought I had screamed because I was scared of him or because of the scar on his face, which made him look ominous?
Truth be told, I hadn’t paid much attention to it. It didn’t detract from his looks. He had always been a handsome. The scar over his eye just gave an edge to his good looks. It made him seem dangerous, but in a very delicious sort of way.
There had to be a way to make this right. I couldn’t go to bed letting him believe that I thought he was a monster. I glanced up at the ceiling; it had barely been five minutes since he stormed upstairs. Surely, he wasn’t going to fall asleep that fast.
Resigned to the fact that I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I apologized, I made my way upstairs. As I reached his room, my nerves kicked in and I felt the knot tightening in my gut. I raised my hand hesitated momentarily, and then knocked gently on his door. The light was off, but I refused to be deterred.
“Jason?” I whispered knocking softly as I leaned with my ear against the door.
I was sure I heard movement inside, the rustle of sheets or something. I waited a minute but there was no answer, and the door didn’t open. A little bit miffed, I knocked on the door again, this time a little louder. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure I wasn’t going to wake Jaime and then whispered, “Jason, I know you are in there, I can hear you moving around.”
I listened intently to determine if he was making any attempt to open the door. I must have looked like a starfish as I had both hands and my ear plastered against the door. Just as I registered movement, the door opened and I fell into his bare, hard chest. He grabbed me roughly by the arms and steadied me against him. Inadvertently, my hands settled on the soft curls on his chest. For a moment, I lost myself in the depth of those deep blue eyes.
His face hardened, and he gently but firmly pushed me away from him and took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest. I looked up into his stern face, “Sor-sorry. I didn’t mean to...” I stammered, searching for words.
“Didn’t mean to what?” he interrupted.
I could do nothing but stare at him blankly, mouth slightly parted. Annoyed by my silence, he continued.
“What, cat got your tongue? Face to face with the monster, and now you’ve lost your courage.”
His face was masked with anger, but it was more than that. As I gaped at the angry man in front of me, I could see the underlying hurt in his eyes.
“No!” I finally managed to get out. “That’s not it at all,” I implored.
He turned his head, refusing to look at me. Without thinking, I stepped forward and placed a hand on his chest. “I came up here…” my words caught in my throat as he looked down at the hand on his chest derisively, and then pointedly looked at me again.
“I’m sorry,” I said removing my hand as if I touched a hot plate. I backed up a step to give him some room. “I came up here to apologize. I hadn’t meant to hurt your feelings earlier.” I hesitated looking for the right words to say, “It’s just that seeing you…it caught me off guard.”
I waited expectantly for him to say something. But he just stood there. He looked so indifferent. I didn’t recognize this cold man before me. We used to be able to laugh and joke. We had been close once, or at least I had thought we had been.
The silence stretched awkwardly between us. Finally, he arched an eyebrow and uncrossed his arms, giving a slight nod.
“Fine, are we done here?”
I jerked back as if I was punched in the gut at the sharpness of his words. I felt my fiery temper bubbling up to the surface, throwing my hands up in futility, “Fine, be an ass about it. Screw the apology.” I spun around to storm out of his room, but his fingers curled around my arm and he spun me back around to face him.
His face was mere inches from mine, his eyes cold and hard, and the warmth that used to live in those eyes, evaporated like rain drops on hot concrete. But honestly what did I expect, the same man that left here eight years ago, to just return as if nothing had happened?
“You don’t get to storm off in a huff, just because I don’t fall for your fake-ass apology, half-naked or not!”
He sneered as he looked me up and down in a manner that had the hair on the back of my neck standing up in warning, and in anticipation of what he’d do next. His eyes lingered on the too-short hemline of my sleep shirt that I realized barely covered the tops of my thighs, then traveled up to rest on my breasts. My nipples hardened under his direct gaze, and he smirked. I don’t know what had possessed me to confront him without throwing on my robe first. I felt vulnerable and aroused at the same time. And, I didn’t like it.
Yanking my arm from his grip, I wrapped my arms around myself, trying in vain to cover up. “You are…you are so…vile,” I spit out. “You disgust me.”
“There,” he said stabbing a finger at me. “Now that is something I actually believe,” he said shaking his head, “You stand there on your high horse, judging me for the way I look and where I’ve been, you who have known me better than anyone else other than Jaime. You have a lot of nerve.”
For a moment, I completely forgot the reason for my anger as I stood there, mouth open gaping like a fish. The preposterousness of his words was just so shocking; it left me speechless, but only for a moment.
I thumped my finger right back in his chest, pushing forward, forcing him back with the ferocity of my words, “Well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black, you hypocritical bastard!”
Now it was his turn to stand there gaping at me. I didn’t think that he had ever seen me get this mad before, but I wasn’t the shy teenager anymore. All the years of bullying and being teased for being fat, I finally learned to love myself and stand up for myself.
Gesturing towards his bare chest and my own state of dress, I scoffed at him, “I seem to recall a similar situation eight years ago.”
He raised his eyebrows but didn’t speak a word.
“Yeah,” I spat glaring, “Or are you pretending to forget that you kissed the fat girl. Well, I’m not the same chubby fan-girl I was back then.” Placing my hands on my hips, I continued to dress him down. “I cared what you thought of me then, but I don’t care what you think of me now. I was too much for you then, and I’d be too much for you now. So go fuck yourself.”
Turning around with a huff, ponytail swinging, I once again turned to leave. I made it to the door and began to pull it open when a strong arm shot out in front of me and closed it.
“Let me out,” I demanded through gritted teeth.
I felt his body press against mine as he placed his other arm on the door, effectively blocking me in. The heat of his chest seeped through the thin cotton of my t-shirt. His hard b
ody pressed against my ass, making me very aware of what he was feeling. I had no choice but to turn around and face him.
“What?” I demanded with far more bravado than I felt. Turning around to face him I ground out, “Let me go!”
“Not until you hear what I have to say,” he said his blue eyes darkened with intensity. “I didn’t leave you alone because of your size; I left you alone because I was a jackass, who lived for the moment, and didn’t believe in strings. And you sweetheart, was the strings-attached-and-all kind of woman.”
“Well you were wrong,” I said flatly, but it wasn’t true. Back then it mattered, I wanted it all, but was willing to settle for less, and even the little I would have accepted was out of my reach.
“Was I? You wanted to be fucked the first time you spied on me, and when we finally did get all hanky-panky you wanted more,” he smirked.
“You flatter yourself, you were just a guy, and it didn’t matter to me as much as you may have thought.”
“Keep telling yourself that, and how about now, are you still the strings-attached type?” he whispered in a husky tone.
Even though my brain told me I shouldn’t want this, my body was already reacting to him. Just like it always had.
“I’m not any type…” I started.
“Everyone is a type, you’re just in denial, and right now your body is responding to my closeness.”
I turned my face away from his and mumbled, “You’re making assumptions.”
“Your body says otherwise,” he grinned as a stroked the side of my cheek with the back of his hand.
Heat flooded me, as my pulse picked up, and my breathing became quick and shallow. This close, face to face, his sex appeal was undeniable. He was looking at me with such possession in his eyes. Even the scar made him hot. My lips parted on their own volition, and he took full advantage. Without giving me a chance, his mouth covered mine aggressively. One hand cupped my chin gently while the other fisted in my hair, firmly locking me in place. I couldn’t move even if I wanted to. And right now, I didn’t want to. I matched him stroke for stroke as his mouth plundered mine and his tongue delved into the recesses of my mouth. Our tongues battled for dominance, teeth biting and nipping as our lips kissed and sucked. This wasn’t a kiss, this was war, bloodthirsty, brutal, and oh so arousing. I’d never been kissed like this before, but I had no fear. From somewhere deep down my inner minx reared its head, and I wanted more.
Seal'd to Her: A Billionaire Second Chance Romance Page 39