by Tyla Walker
“Yeah?”
He looks at me, and I feel weak from the way those eyes look at me with tender warmth. I end up just staring at him saying nothing for a while.
“Do you think we should call this engagement off? Break-up. You know, just let dad do what he wants.”
“What? Why?”
“Because they won’t stop. Normally, people back out when people get engaged. I only ever did this because I thought they’d stop whatever they were planning. Obviously, that’s not happening.”
Larry had the guts to send me flowers just after my engagement announcement. If my father doesn’t stop with that, then when? I’m worried about Craig. I already dragged him into this without putting his feelings into account.
“No,” Craig says. “There is no way in a million years that I will allow that fool to think he won.”
“But what if this isn’t about winning?”
“You’re right. This is not about winning. This is about your life. Your whole married life. And this is also about who becomes James’ father.”
He looks at me seriously that I somehow see a different person in him. For a second there, I look at Craig as a man, and not just the boy I grew up with.
My heart feels funny, but I brush it off. I can’t have these thoughts right now. Or is this the best time to have these thoughts?
“I allowed that asshole five years ago to ruin you just because I was doing my own thing. I will not allow that to happen again. I’d be fucking damned if I let another jerk end up with you. Not in my watch.”
His words make me smile again, a little sweetly than normal. He holds my hand tight; I hold him back with a light squeeze.
Craig regrets what happened five years ago with James’ father doesn’t bother me as much as it still bothers Craig. While I’m just happy I have James, Craig still hates himself for not being able to stop it.
Not anymore. These are the unspoken words Craig wants to say to me.
I take the check. “Let me take care of this.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am, so thank you for saying all that. And for staying.”
The two of us quietly look at each other. There’s this weird pull effect those eyes have on me. I find myself leaning in, and Craig meets me halfway.
“Mama?” James comes in and asks if everything is okay.
“Hey, little guy, did we wake you up?”
Craig goes to him and picks him up. He says that everything is great. He takes James into the living room after that, where they play with Legos until bedtime. Then Craig reads to him and tucks him in.
It occurs to me that Craig really loves James like a father. James loves him too. I wonder whether it will hurt our friendship if I let him know I care more for him than just a best friend.
Ten
Craig
My feet drag on the treadmill. I’m currently wearing my usual gym clothes, sweating it all out as I think about the past few days. A lot has happened in the last week alone, and I’m distracted for a good reason- Daniella Johnson. I think about those lips that I almost kissed last night.
Did she lean in, or did I? I ask myself these questions, and I barely slept a wink. You should have seen me at work, I was a literal zombie running purely on caffeine.
For a pharmacist, that is not the best example you show to your customers. But can you blame me? No. Because these things only happen in fiction, not in real life.
At least, that’s how I used to think before experiencing all this. I pick up the speed on my treadmill to work out a sweat this time. Rule number one when your best friend’s father doesn’t approve of you to marry his precious daughter, exercise all your frustrations.
Use all that pent-up frustration and put it into good use by turning bad energy into good energy. I put in a piece of good upbeat music on my Spotify and imagine myself like Rocky, ready to go into a championship.
Next, if you have someone you want to bloody murder, imagine that person as your goal. Change that murderous intent and shift gears! Instead of killing the person, that person being fucking Larry, use him as a stepping stone to do better. He thinks he can take better care of James and Dani just because George thinks highly of him? FUCK THAT.
The treadmill is now going fast, and I’m running at full speed, sweating as I can feel my whole body heat up from the intensity of the leg work I’m putting in. Once I finish my run, I go for the next thing, the chest press machine.
While I work on my chest, biceps, and triceps, I notice some women in the gym watching me work my muscles. Yeah, sure, I’m a pharmacist, but that doesn’t stop me from looking hella good. I remember being skinny back in junior high.
Dani told me I should try being a nerd and a jock, so I did. I recall picking up swimming as my sport, then I build some swimmer’s bod during high school. It’s only a hobby, though, since I studied pharmaceutics in college.
George doesn’t think too highly of my profession at all. But he never cared about THIS much about it before. When I took up my course in college, he even joked about me giving him a good deal with some drugs; legal ones, of course.
My arm muscles and chest are throbbing as I continue shaping up and releasing some evil vibes. It’s working since it makes me think straight too. After a few more minutes, I take a quick water break.
Wiping the sweat off my brow, I watch myself in the mirror, looking at myself and wondering what the hell am I doing here and not with Dani?
Right, I’m cooling off. Daniella listened to me whine and ramble yesterday that I forgot to ask how she was doing. She looks bothered by something too, but she let me rage on instead.
My thoughts wander a bit. I feel a little remorse about making Dani say that maybe they should just stop this. She probably said that because she worries about how this is affecting me when she should really be thinking of herself instead.
I walk to the abdominal crunch machine to work on my abs next. My shirt is wet with sweat, so I remove it. I can feel the sweat trickle down my well-sculpted muscles. Most of the surrounding women seem to be swooning. Back then, I would have loved the attention. But right now, I only want one person’s attention.
Does she see me differently? I think about Dani as I do some crunches. The way her lips parted a little when she leaned close last night came to mind.
George’s disappointed face soon replaces my little fantasy. Damn, now he’s even ruining my fantasies.
I really want to confront Dani’s father. I’ve known him almost my entire life. It was an insult to me that Larry would take this action. I was glad that my gym was an all-night gym because it gave me the opportunity to work on my anger issues.
I can’t confront Dani’s father, because that will give away the fact that we know about his and Larry’s deal. We can’t out Caroline because she will lose her job over it. Plus, I don’t want to upset Dani.
I finish my exercise with a fifteen minutes cool down. I feel like I’m letting of literal steam while doing this. Maybe I should try yoga? Will that help me channel my ever-growing hatred for Larry and George? If I tell them that if they like each other so much, they should just marry each other, will that make things worse?
Nah, it’s impossible and will only make things worse. George loves Jane, those two love each other ever since I can remember. When Dani used to come over because they had a fight, I always tell her it’ll be fine and that it’s normal for married couples to fight.
True enough, with each fight and misunderstanding they overcome, the two seem to look much better.
I pick up my stuff and head to the showers. I’m imagining Dani again and start asking her inside my head about things that give me anxiety. Dani, do you know that I’m seriously thinking about marrying you? If there’s anything good about this whole situation, it’s that it got me to be engaged with you.
I wonder whether I should just be honest with Dani and tell her how I really feel about her. I feel like a high school student. Do I tell her I like her? Do I just let things pro
ceed and see how they go? Do I walk away?
I’m confused and frustrated.
Eleven
Daniella
I have never been this disappointed in my father. Not being around when I give birth to James is one thing, but to do that to Craig. That was too much.
I have always thought that my father loved Craig. I know he does. But the difference in their field in the industry makes it just a tad bit difficult to bridge the gap.
Right after the bell rings for the last subject of the day, I hail a cab and pay my father and Larry a visit. Larry needs to know that I will never like him and will never, ever forgive him for what he did to Craig, my dad too.
People in the office know me already, so I just stroll in. I see Caroline and our eyes lock. She nods at me and cheers me on.
My father has his back on the door, and I clear my throat to announce my arrival.
“Dani. What a nice surprise. This is unexpected. What brings you here?”
My Dad reaches for the phone beside him when I tell him to ask for a Larry instead of Caroline. The look on my father’s face has not escaped my eyes. He is excited, ecstatic even. He never even hides that smirk on his face. Damn!
“Larry, come to the office right now. You have a visitor.”
I smile at my father. Barely did he know that I am about to break his favorite employee’s dreams because, honestly, I can’t really say that I will be breaking Larry’s heart. What he has done to Craig is the most heartless thing one can ever do to anybody.
Just then, the door opens, and Larry comes in with that smirk on his face. Jerk! I want to wipe it off him and make him regret his insults.
I take the flower out from the paper bag I carry with me, as well as the check. Slamming the flowers to his chest and with all the pent-up anger inside me. I let out the hurt and anger Craig felt last night.
“These… these flowers are an insult to me. You’re a jerk. Do you ever think that you can get me by your flowery words, which you have probably just searched off the web?”
“You know I am engaged to Craig, but you don’t get it, do you? You think I’ll feel special and get excited by all the attention you are giving to me? Well, you’re wrong.”
“What you have done just proves that you think I am not loyal enough to stand by Craig and be easily swayed by petty things such as flowers and good-for-nothing messages. They aren’t sweet at all. At best, you are suggesting that my loyalties are frail.”
I tear the check in front of his face, and nobody can paint that look on it when he hasn’t seen any hesitations with what I did. I like what I have done with the flowers, too.
I am so furious already. Here I am getting so worked up because of what Larry has done to Craig, and he is just staring at me, waiting for what I will be doing next.
“Here. Take your check. I am not a piece of meat you can buy. I am not for sale.”
“I do not know what game you are playing here right now, proposing and asking my hand for marriage all of a sudden, but you damn well better stop. I will not take this lightly,” I add.
I face my Dad, my expression showing that I still hate them for what they have done to Craig.
“That goes for you too, Dad. Craig is like a son to you already and a father to James. How can you do that to him? You’re so selfish! How can you not like him?!”
I turn my back on them, but before I can go any further, Larry’s comment has not escaped my ears.
“What crawled up her ass? Is she having her period?”
Damn! That imbecile! I just want to kill him right now. Does he think this is all a joke, a part of an act? It’s not about Craig and mine’s engagement anymore; it’s about Craig as my best friend, too. If there’s anyone who can defend him best, it will be me.
I whip back around.
“You. You make my blood boil. I don’t care which planet you come from, but let me tell you something. Just a word of advice, you ain’t all that. You can’t handle Craig.”
“My Dad might like you to be my husband, but I don’t. I never will. Not even if you’re the last person in this universe,” I add.
I exit the door, leaving questions in their mind. Have I eventually figure out their plan? What will they do now, knowing I will not leave Craig?
I can feel my face flushing because of anger. That son of a bitch. And my father. Can’t he just leave me alone? Why does he have to butt in now?
I get out of my Dad’s office, nod at Caroline, and walk out without looking back and with my head held high.
I wait for Caroline at the back of the office. She’s probably dying of curiosity right now. Besides, I have to invite her personally for dinner. After everything she has done for James and me, it’s the least I can do.
She sneaks into my side, and I hug her so tight, she gets out of my embrace.
“Whoa. You’re suffocating me. But it’s good to see you too, Dani. It has been a while since I saw you walk into that room.”
“I know. I can never, ever thank you enough for putting up with me. You’re such an angel. Allow me to treat you to dinner, please? It’s the least I can do.”
“You know you don’t have to, Dani. I like you, you and Craig are my friends. Friends always have their backs, right?”
My face then turns serious when I remember what Larry has done to Craig.
“It’s just about the perfect time my father stops to interfere with my life, Caroline. I confront him and Larry. I just hope they understand everything that I have said and stop all this nonsense.”
“I honestly don’t have qualms if he wants to give the company to Larry. It has been ages since he has cared about me. Why care now? He always has this image that he cares about James... when in fact... damn!”
Caroline just nods at me. I know he loves my dad, well, like an employee does to her good employer. She has been working with him for a long time now. My Dad has her loyalty.
“Anyway, I have to go now. I have to talk to Craig. Let’s set up a date for dinner, okay?”
Caroline takes my hand, squeezes it, looks at me, and smiles gently.
“Soon, everything will be okay, Dani. Just hang in there, okay? And yes, we will set up a date for dinner.”
We bid goodbye to each other, and I wait until Caroline gets into the building.
Yes, I can do this. I can really get over this.
Twelve
Craig
Okay, here goes. I go to Dani’s house again for dinner. This time I brought it over. What did I bring over, you ask? Well, it’s none other than my specialty, Spanish Sardines Pesto!
Yes, you heard me. This is the thing that will make everything better. Call it a tradition, but Dani and I had passed it down to James when he was three and had the flu; whenever something bad happens, I cook this pasta, Dani, and I always feel better. James also knows this now, and this tradition also worked well for him since he just loves it!
I ring the doorbell. James greets me with that huge smile on his face. He almost made us both fall down along with the meal I brought, he’s just that much excited.
“Hold your horses, mister,” I tell him with a pat on his head.
“Is that...IS THAT YOUR FAMOUS SHPANISH SHARDINES PESHTO!?”
“Why, yes, it is. Now go set the table, little guy.”
“Okay!”
I watch James run in the dining room across the kitchen where Dani peeks her head from and greets me, “Hey! Just finishing this dessert, so go on ahead to the dining room with James.”
“Roger that.”
We have a spectacular meal once things are set, and true enough, it really helps with the mood. I have read once that the best thing for a troubled heart is not sweets but spicy food! So my Spanish Sardines Pesto is the best recipe for the weary soul.
Once we finish our pasta, Dani takes out the dessert. For tonight’s dessert, she made a refrigerator cake with berries as the main fruit.
James’ eyes sparkle, and he eats the fruity delicacy heartil
y. I enjoy my dessert as well, my eyes softening as I watch both mother and son just do their usual thing.
We look like a real family. Actually, I think we’ve always been a family. It’s just that I never really cared for titles like husband and wife, mother or father, etc. Thinking about it now, I feel like it’s also because I do not want to risk Dani rejecting me.
Like, what if I’m the only one who likes her more than a friend? What if telling her the truth makes things awkward that I have to step back? The thought alone scares me.
I want you, Dani; I think to myself. I really want to marry you. But what if you don’t feel the same way? What if you suddenly pull away from me, and there’s no turning back?
This scares me. It does. And yet, I can’t help but want more of you, Daniella.
“Craig! Craig!”
James snaps me back to reality as I look to him, asking, “What’s up?”
“Why don’t you just move in here!”
“Oh yeah? Well, where will I sleep???”
“You...can...hmm…”
Dani shakes her head and starts cleaning the table as I entertain James’ suggestion.
“I CAN SHARE MY ROOM! WE CAN GET THAT SUPER COOL BUNK BEDS!”
“How can you get Super Cool Bunk Beds right, and not Spanish Sardines Pesto?”
“Don’t tease me.”
I pinch his cheeks when he puffs them. Then I take him up to his room. After James goes to bed, Dani tells me about her day. I can tell that she’s still angry.
“And then I said…” she tells me what she said to her father. She even acts it out. Why are you so adorable? Why do you do this to me? Are you testing me?
It’s funny that I’m the person ranting to her not too long ago, and now she’s doing the same. This tells me just how comfortable we are to each other. I tell her good and bad things, and she does the same with me.
We trust each other. There has never been ANYTHING that can stand between our friendship. Not even that dumb—wait, no. Craig. Focus on Daniella.