by Tyla Walker
“No-I...Dani—”
“It’s Daniella to you,” I tell him, blood boiling. “Why are you suddenly interested in me? You’ve worked for my father for several years, and all of a sudden, you find me irresistible?”
“I...um, it-it’s because... I...I’ve always found you attractive but never knew how to approach you. Then, after you and Craig became engaged, I knew I had to try or lose you.”
I don’t want to scream, but the bell’s about to ring, and I want to end this conversation right here and right now. And never have it again.
“Did my father put you up to this?”
“What?”
“You heard me the first time, Larry. I’m sick and tired of your bullshit,” I say angrily.
“No, no, I-I-I swear, he has nothing to do with—”
More and more students enter the hallway, and I have to move out of the way as one of them, a girl with strawberry blonde hair, goes straight for the locker I’m leaning against. I apologize, and she smiles.
“Cut the crap, Larry. I’m not going to ask you twice.”
Strawberry blonde looks at me weirdly as she deposits books into her locker. Great, I’ll probably be the talk of the student body soon. And not in a good way.
“N-no, believe me. Dani-Daniella, I s-swear—I want to ask you out for a long time.”
I glare at the floor. It looks like I’m never going to get anything out of this. And I’m tired.
“You know what, Larry? You are a terrible liar. Do you think I’m stupid to believe you? I. Am. Not. Going. To. Date. You. I just don’t see you that way. Don’t forget to tell my father what I said.”
I hung up on him and stalk off, ignoring the staring student behind me.
Sixteen
Craig
The surprise on her face leaves, a genuine smile replaces it. She rushes forward and wraps her arms around me.
Her head is on my shoulder, and her eyes closed as I run my fingertips through her short curls.
“Hey there.” I press a kiss to her forehead.
“Hey.” She pulls back, looks up into my eyes, and then down to my lips.
I gulp and forgets about my purpose in visiting. Dani pulls me inside and closer to her, locks the door behind me, and kisses me.
We break apart when we hear the rush of footfalls and the muffle sounds of gunfire. A tiny body then latches itself to my legs.
“Craig!” James grins up at me. His hand is still clutching the robot that produces the sounds. When I make to carry him, he drops it to the floor and kicks it away. The toy’s still lit up and talking about demolishing the enemy.
I laugh and pout at him. “I bought you that, buddy!”
“Sorry, I miss you.”
“I missed you too.” It’s been only a day, but I really did miss him. And of course, his mother.
My gaze meets Dani’s, and she comes closer. Smiling, she ruffles her son’s curly hair.
“Poor Mr. Robot,” she says. Then she takes James off me and tells her son to play in the living room.
“But Craig—”
“Craig will play with you later, buddy.” I pick him up again and spin him around.
He giggles and holds tight to me. Adorable...just like his mother.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
After depositing him in the living and helping Dani make sure there aren’t any sharp objects or things that can harm him, she pulls me away to her bedroom.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to visit sooner.”
“It’s okay.”
Once the door’s locked behind us, she pounces on me, and my brain short-circuits. I forget why I’m here once again.
“Dani...w-we should talk first.”
I pry her fingers away from the buttons of my polo and close my eyes, trying not to think about how good her body, especially her soft, round breasts, pressed against me. The way we made love the other night is still on my brain.
She sighs, then pulls me to the bed. “You’re right. We should...we should talk about what this is.” She motions to me and then to her. “There’s definitely something there.”
“Yeah.” I sit down beside her and hold one of her hands between two of mine. “There’s definitely something there.”
“We have a connection, Craig. I won’t have slept with you if it was just a passing fancy. And I’ve known you for years now.”
“Me too.” My thumb rubs across her knuckles. “Me too.”
We turn quiet, hands still holding. Dani breaks the silence not long after.
“I talked to Larry earlier.”
My thumb stops moving. My jaw clenches. Just thinking about the sleazebag boils my blood. “What did Larry say?”
“He apologized, but he still, well, asked me out to dinner—” I pull my hands away, but she pulls them back and leans down to look into my eyes. “But I said no. I swear I said no.”
“I believe you.” I look away and sigh. It seems like the universe is reminding me that this, whatever this connection Dani refers to, is a bad idea.
I have to tell her about her father.
“Your father came to see me yesterday.”
“What?” Her eyes are round. “What did he say? Craig, what did he say?”
“He’s suspicious. He wants to know why we suddenly got engaged.”
Daniella shakes her head and moves closer to me, almost sitting on my lap. “Don’t mind him. I let him know that we’re on to him.”
My eyebrows furrow, and I look down at her. “How?”
“I talked with Larry, right? On the phone, I mean. And I lost it. He didn’t sound sincere, so I asked him what his motive is. He flat-out denied it when I asked if dad put him up to it. Can you imagine? I already know what he’s up to, but he’s still...”
Dread settles over me as Dani babbles on. I disrespected George the other day, and I don’t know what his reaction will be.
“What if Larry really likes you?” I ask, watching her face.
Her expression twists into something dark.
“Don’t. Don’t tease me like that, Craig. It’s not funny.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You better be.”
In spite of everything, I smile. Dani still looks beautiful even when mad. I look away.
I have to get the words out...have to do this now. I can’t keep prolonging things like this. “Dani, I don’t want to get between you and your dad.”
She watches me and says nothing.
My heart beats like a drum, and I can’t look at her. “I love you, and I wish our—”
“Are you kidding me? Is this what I think this is? Craig—”
“I wish this isn’t just a ploy to get your father and Larry off your back.”
“Well, it’s not. At least, not anymore! Come on, Craig. Look at me. Don’t do this.”
“Dani...” I don’t look at her, no matter how much I want to because I know my resolve will crumble. “If we stay engaged, if we stay together, you might lose your dad.”
“What are you talking about? I’m not gonna lose him over this.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do. God, Craig. My father may do stupid things at times, but he won’t avoid talking to me over this. Trust me. Plus, he has to know that he can’t just meddle in my life whenever he wanted to.”
“I don’t want you to resent me if it does happen.”
“If it happens, but it won’t. Craig, please. Please look at me. I love you, Craig. I love you. Please, babe, look at me.”
My feet carry me towards the door, and she follows, tugging at my hand.
“Craig, I love you, too. Please.”
Tears are streaming down on both of our faces as I leave and head straight for the front door. James follows us and seeing us cry, the boy sobs, too.
“Craig, you promised!” James bawls. “Let’s play!”
I hit the lock and close the front door behind, wiping away my tears on the sleeves of my
jacket.
Seventeen
Daniella
I’m stunned. My dream has come true and is destroyed in one fell swoop. Craig and I professed love for each other, and the next minute...he walked away.
I’m just standing in place, trying to process what is going on as I watch his back. RUN AFTER HIM! I shout to myself. But my body won’t move. I can feel my arms and legs tremble, trying to move even an inch.
Why can’t I go to him? I LOVE HIM! MOVE DANIELLA! DAMNIT! I try and try, but when I finally move an inch, he’s long gone.
Maybe, deep down, I feel like I deserve this. No, I deserve this. I wasn’t thinking. All I did was try to escape my father’s plot to marry me to a guy I don’t love. I’m only thinking about myself. I even realized this, at the very beginning, that I should be playing with the concept of marriage between the two of us.
And yet, despite that, I still went through with it. I went through with this farce, thinking that this will all work out in the end, even when it already started out wrong.
Friends don’t use other friends to do things that will clearly harm them. And I took advantage of our closeness.
Now, I had lost even my friendship with Craig.
What’s the point of confessing your love to each other? We both clearly love the other so much that it hurts. Nothing. There is no point. All I did, all WE did is hurt each other more.
I’m still rooted on the spot, my thoughts muddle with my aching heart. My tears have come down nonstop, and I finally fall down to the ground crying helplessly. I feel the air turn cold, and then I feel the cold raindrops from the sky fall to my skin. It’s raining. How fitting.
Craig will say this is such a movie moment, that nerd. But he’s not here. Not anymore.
I stay there for a while before finally picking myself up. This is no movie, Daniella. You just lost your best friend, and there is no way you can fix this. Not with how Craig left looking like you stabbed his chest with your bare hands.
I need to be strong because I have to explain to the crying James. If Craig decides to stay away from both of us, I will have to let James understand that Craig didn’t leave us as his father did. I’m soaked from the rain, and I got a towel when my eyes land on my phone by the kitchen.
Suddenly my sadness quickly turns to rage that I pick up my phone, I call Dad. I’m not thinking straight, and I’m sure I’m just looking for someone to blame but my own.
“Hey...DAD…” my tone already gives away that I cried, and that I am furious.
“Daniella? What’s wrong? Are you crying?” he replies worriedly over the phone.
“YES, I AM CRYING,” I snap at him. “AND YOU’RE WHAT’S WRONG! YOU! YOU! YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME ALONE CAN YOU!?”
I’m angry, and I’m hurt. I know I shouldn’t be in a conversation with my father right now, but I am. I hate. I really hate him. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have done this to Craig. I will still have Craig.
“Daniella, please calm down…”
“NO! NO DON’T TELL ME TO FUCKING CALM DOWN! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOUR BUTTING IN COST ME MY BEST FRIEND! YOU COST ME THE ONLY GUY I’VE EVER LOVED THIS WAY! YOU! YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!”
I can hear him stutter, hear his voice soften, “I...I’m sorry...Daniella...let me explain…”
“NO. NO, YOU CAN’T JUST SAY SORRY AND IT’LL ALL BE WELL!”
My hands tremble, and I can feel my hand crushing the phone against my ear. I’m so sad and angry that I don’t know anymore. I don’t know what to do or what to think.
I just want Craig to come and hug me. I want him to suddenly burst into that door and pull me in a tight embrace, saying that everything will be alright. But that’s not happening. Craig won’t be here for me now, or ever.
“Daniella, please listen to me and calm down…”
“Goodbye, dad.”
I made sure to say it in a way that he knows that this will most likely be the last time he’ll ever hear my voice. Goodbye.
After I hung up on Dad, I think about calling Craig, but I don’t. I need time to think before I do or say anything.
James approaches me with a toy in tow. My son wipes his face. He tells me that I should call Craig because Craig always makes me feel better. That almost made me cry again, but I just pat his head gently.
I smile at him and tell him in a soft voice, “That’s not true. You’re the one who always makes me feel better.”
He smiles at me, and I pull him close to kiss his brow and give him a playful noogie. Then we colored together.
After I put him to bed and kiss his cheek goodnight, I walk to my room. I’m a little shaken as I recall the night we shared this bed. I try to push it away, but I can’t. Instead, I start remembering him quite vividly.
Like he is there on my bed, waiting for me to join him. We used to do this as kids a lot, but when we got older, we stopped being so touchy with one another. It’s weird for friends to hug and sleep in one bed, especially when you’re of the opposite gender.
That night, as I pull the covers of my blanket over my head, I start to cry once more. I cry and cry until I fall asleep.
Eighteen
Craig
Why did I ever think that this would just go well? That after having sex with Daniella that night, everything will just fall into place. I really thought that the worse was behind us and that we can do this together, through thick and thin. But I’m wrong.
In the end, I’m the person who called it off. Back then, I thought no one will stand between Daniella and me. I was naïve, and now here we are.
I finally confessed my love to her, and I told her everything I have ever felt. She felt the same. So why didn’t it work out? Why did I walk out when we finally know each other’s true feelings?
It hurts. I’m drowning myself in sad sappy music on my Spotify. I close my eyes, and I see her in my arms, holding me tight. I hold her back and brush her hair.
The next thing I see is that we are once more in her bed, sinking our bodies on her bedsheets like the night we had sex. She looks at me with those beautiful brown eyes. The look she gives me is inviting, so I kiss her lips, our tongues meet, and we make love.
But when I open my eyes, she’s gone. I’m back in my room, and I’m alone. The music in the background is just putting salt in my wounded heart. And yet, despite feeling awful, I continue to listen to the sad songs on my current playlist.
Then I linger on with my miserable thoughts. I was afraid something bad would happen when they agreed to do the engagement. Now, there is no chance for love, and I just lost my best friend.
I’m now pouring milk on my cereal. Totally not in the mood to cook or order shit. But I’m hungry, so I have to eat something. The milk spills, and I curse at it. I think I’m going crazy, though, because I suddenly start laughing. I laugh at the thought, There’s no use crying over spilled milk.
My laughing turn to cries, then it immediately shifts to getting angry about myself, about this whole, about everything fucking thing.
I toss the cereal bowl, and I just start smashing things and punching walls. I’m shouting and crying at the same time. The pain in my chest is unbearable, and I just breakdown.
It’s too much. I don’t want to live without Daniella; I want her and James. If I don’t have them, what’s the point in living? It hurts. I can’t handle the pain.
Crying like a fool, I am now sitting on the floor of my kitchen. This sucks. I always thought I’m the lead main character of a romantic comedy and that I’m Ryan Reynolds. I don’t expect I’m actually in a drama instead, and I’m the tragic idiot who falls in love with his best friend.
And that we are never meant to end up with each other.
Dani will find a better guy who George will approve of, that not even Larry will win her dad over. Not like me. James will love this guy too, and I’ll just be that character made for the female lead’s character development.
Tragic. Sad. Alone. Stupid. Alone. Funny. Good-looking.
Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone.Alone. Alone.Alone. Alone.Alone. Alone.Alone. Alone.Alone. Alone. FUCKING ALONE.
What the hell am I doing? I am still going to clean this mess up, or else I’ll attract flies, cockroaches, and fucking rats. Fucking rodents. I pick myself up and get the broom, and then the mop.
I clean up my mess all night, and I barely sleep too. Not like I can. So, I go to work the next day in a very bad mood. It’s expected. There is just nothing that can make my day good. It’s just all downhill from here.
No one talks to me at work. They all stay away since I probably look like I’ll end up biting their heads off if they even ask how I’m doing. I guess that’s for the best.
After my shift, I left work. Outside is Dani’s father, waiting for me again. I told you it’s all downhill from here, and I’m fucking right.
“What now?” I tell him, my tone obviously pissed off.
I used to respect this man. I even thought of him as my second father. Now? Yeah, no. He’s like my personal villain ever since Dani and I got engaged. George can tell I’m not in the mood, but he still blocks my way.
“Can we talk?” he asks.
“I think we talked enough. Excuse me.” I walk ahead of him, but he puts a firm hand on my shoulder to stop me.
I almost punch him, but I stop myself.
“I want to apologize.”
“Oh? A little too late for that, don’t you think?”
He sighs. “I know that there is nothing I can say for you to forgive me. But hear me out. Do it for Daniella and James.”
Asshole. How dare George use their names against me like that? But I nod and listen to what he has to say. Not like I have anywhere better to go do.
“I’m wrong to interfere between you and my daughter. I’m wrong to have continued to make things worse when the two of you were clearly in love. I knew, but I didn’t want to believe it.”
I bite my lower lip in frustration, keeping myself from shouting at George and start making a scene in front of my workplace.