by Catori, Ava
“She’d only let me photograph her for her big shots, dismissing other photographers. We worked well together. Anyway, we’ve gone our separate ways. I left the fashion industry for a while, modeling, the fancy gigs, rubbing elbows with the elite. I took a detour. I’m ready to be back at the top. Together, I think we can get there.”
“You really think I have potential?” For the first time, she started to see he was serious.
“Here are Mia’s first shots.” He pulled out a book of pictures. They were nudes, just like what he was asking her for. “We started out the same way you and I will start. I need to see how your body moves, if you’re fluid, if you’re stiff with the camera. How will you come across? Will your eyes sparkle and shine, or be dead? There are so many tiny elements you can only see once you’ve captured them on film. You’ve got something special, but now I need to see if the camera captures what I see. It’s the only true way to know how photogenic you are.”
“Nudes,” she half whispered.
“I’m not a snake, dear. I’m not looking to harm you. I’m looking to climb back to the top where I belong. I’ll take you on the ride of your life, if you’ll give me the chance. I can’t do it alone, and you can’t do it without me.”
Kendle swallowed. She nodded quietly. “When?”
“I’m ready now. Down the hallway, I have a studio set up.”
“Now?” Kendle’s eyes were as large as saucers. There was no turning back. Tiny hairs stood on her arm as her breathing grew shallower.
“No time like the present.” He was already escorting her down the long hallway. “This way,” he said over his shoulder.
She could run, get out, change her mind…the door was just over there. Kendle took a deep breath, forcing air into her lungs. She thought they might collapse from lack of air. The hallway felt smaller, tighter, and goose bumps ran across her arms. With a panicked mind, she forced herself to keep walking.
Her heart pounded in her throat, her anxiety high, and as they rounded the bend and entered the stark white room, she saw big screens and a camera set up. She’d be standing right there, in front of the screen, without her clothes on.
Why was this so hard? She’d done nasty things with paying customers in the past. All she had to do was shed her clothing. He didn’t mention anything about touching her. He made no passes at her, showed no sexual interest in her, and even as she stood there he was more taken with his camera than with her body.
“You can place your clothes over there,” he said absentmindedly, as he poked around a tray of lenses that were individually wrapped and padded in small cushions.
Kendle stood, barely able to move. She ran her hand up the length of her arm and tried to brush the goose bumps away. A chill ran through her. She didn’t have an ounce of desire to remove her clothes.
“Any time now,” he said impatiently.
Kendle closed her eyes and stood frozen. “Right. You mentioned something about cleaning up? Is there a bathroom I could use to freshen up?”
“Sure, sure, right down the hallway. First left.”
“Thanks. I’ll be right back.”
Kendle found the restroom and closed the door behind her. She pressed her back to the door and slowly slid to the floor. With her head in her hands, she closed her eyes and calmed her frayed nerves. She’d do anything to save Cree, even if it meant being exposed in front of a camera again.
Kendle stood and steeled her strength. Do it for Cree. She couldn’t save her back then, but she could now. She’d give them both a better life.
Kendle turned the faucet on and splashed water over her face. One last deep breath and she headed down the hallway.
“I’m ready.” Everything inside of her shook. For Cree, do this for Cree.
He stood watching her nervously pluck the buttons on her shirt.
“You do realize you’ll get used to stripping off your clothes. Ha, shedding your clothes for money, almost like a prostitute.” He laughed, amusing himself.
Kendle froze at the word. Did he know? He couldn’t. There was no way. It was just a coincidence.
“I was kidding.” He rolled his eyes. Some people are so sensitive. She was going to be interesting to work with, if he could grab some pictures already. With the wave of his hand, he told her to continue.
Kendle sucked her cheeks in as her nerves dared her to move. One more deep breath and she pulled her arm free of the sleeve of her shirt, and then the other. She could do this. Do it for Cree. Get her freedom.
Kendle’s head dropped down. Her fingers shook as she tried to unhook her bra. Jagged daggers stabbed her insides as she unlatched the restraint.
His shutter and lens were already working. Snap, click, click, snap. She forced herself to look up. She wasn’t even undressed yet. He would get her at all stages of undress.
“Raw, vulnerable. I like it…I like it…” Click, snap, click.
Kendle unbuttoned her slacks and shoved them over her hips. She tried to steady her emotions, but all she wanted to do was cry. Emotions. She’d bottled them up for so long. To feel things again was overwhelming.
She forced herself to breathe. Bring air in, let it out. Bring air in, let it out. Bring air in, let it out. Click, snap, click.
Her small breasts were pert, her nipples hard, her breathing harder, and as she stood before the camera, she pleaded with herself…don’t show your truth.
“Beautiful, stunning. Now turn and bend, move with the camera, flow.” He reached over blindly feeling for a switch, and as it clicked on music filled the room.
Kendle closed her eyes, taking in the sounds. The music helped soothe her, and as she tried to sway, he stopped clicking.
“You’re stiff, like a board. Oh dear, this will never do. Your face and body are magnificent, but you look like you’re made of concrete. If you don’t make love to the camera, it won’t love you back.”
Kendle’s hands shot up over her breasts, suddenly feeling very naked at his words.
“Darling, do you think I haven’t seen breasts before? I’ve seen big ones, small ones, pointy ones, lopsided ones, light nipples, dark nipples, and every skin tone known to man. You’ll need to work on being comfortable with your body. Try doing this.” He posed with his hands behind his back.
Kendle looked down and released the hand shield she’d plastered to her body. Letting her arms drop behind her, she closed her eyes and tried to feel the music. Swaying gently, she tried her best to please the man behind the camera.
“Now your panties,” he said softly. They were the only thing left she had on. She’d kicked off her shoes when she dropped her pants, but her thin black panties felt like armor. They kept her safe from prying eyes.
“I can’t.” She stood frozen, her arms slapping across her chest again.
“Very well, let’s just work like this for now. I need to see fluid movement. I want to catch what angles are best. Spin, turn, sway, play with the camera.”
“I’m not very good at this,” she answered quietly.
“We’ll let the camera decide. It won’t lie to me.”
“Can we be done?”
“A little longer; I’d like to get more shots. One moment…” Graham pulled a wooden chair to the center of the room. “Trying sitting on this in different positions. Start by draping your arm like this, and then rest your chin on your shoulder.”
Kendle tried to follow his instructions, but felt amateur.
“That’s it, that’s the angle!” He shouted with glee, almost obnoxiously. “Right there!” The shutter whirred quickly as he took shot after shot. “Oh yes, the grittiness, a sexiness, a raw and vulnerable beauty. These are going to be our money shots.”
His excitement stirred something inside of her. It was passion. It was a brazen passion and love of what he was doing. She wondered what it felt like to be passionately happy. She’d only felt passionate disgust and hatred.
“And that’s a wrap.” He barely noticed she was naked. He was taken with hi
s photography equipment again.
Kendle pulled her shirt back on and redressed.
“You have magic,” he sighed. “We’ll go all the way to the top.”
Kendle bit her lip.
“…and you have lovely pointy nipples. I wasn’t expecting them to be that way.”
It was a slap in the face hearing him talk about her body like that, sexually. He did notice them. How could he not. She was bare ass naked before him. Those pictures would hold her image for a lifetime.
“The pictures…” she started quietly.
“They’re for us, only for us. I have no intention of strutting you naked down a runway. You’ll still need to sign a release. I was so caught up in the moment…I should have done that first. It’s been a while,” he sighed. Pulling a paper from a drawer, he dropped it on a counter. “Sign the bottom. It’s a standard model release form. Don’t mind the details; it’s just legal jargon.”
Kendle forced herself to breathe again. As he reached to click off the music, the sound of silence filled the air. The quiet felt bigger than it had earlier.
“Are we done here?” She was afraid there would be more asked of her.
“We are. I’ll have my car take you home, unless you’d care to stay for some dinner.”
She didn’t know what to say.
“Why don’t you stay? We can talk for a while about future possibilities. I’ll know more when I develop the film.”
“I don’t know…”
“I don’t bite. You’re going to have to learn to trust me.”
Kendle nodded. “Sure, fine.”
“Wonderful. I’ll call out and have something delivered.”
Chapter 6
Cree crept into Kendle’s thoughts again. She needed to stop by and see her. She couldn’t talk to her on the street. Franco was still pissed even though months had passed. Who knows, maybe he wasn’t mad, but just liked to intimidate her regardless. He was an asshole.
Kendle climbed the embankment and tucked under the rafter. Her sister was fast asleep, curled into her dirty blanket. “Cree,” Kendle whispered, not sure she wanted to wake her.
She stirred. “Hmm, what?” Grogginess laced her voice.
“It’s me. I brought you a couple of muffins.”
Cree’s eyes flickered open. “Oh, good. I’m starving.”
“Aren’t you eating? Are you making enough?” The worry was apparent in Kendle’s voice.
“Franco raised the rent last night. He took the extra I was going to use to get dinner.”
Kendle’s worry turned to anger. “That bastard! As if he doesn’t take enough. It’s highway robbery, quite literally.”
“What can I do? It’s the best corner, and you know it. If I go somewhere else the cops hassle me and I don’t make nearly as much as I can there.”
“You know, this model thing might work out. And then I’ll make more money, and we can get an apartment together. I know my room at the motel isn’t much, but it’s something. You could stay there.”
“This is my home,” Cree said simply.
“Don’t you want more?”
“I want to forget. That’s all I want to do, Kendle. This helps me forget. How do you not understand? You went through it, too.”
“So, you’re going to punish yourself for something that isn’t your fault?”
“How is it punishing me? It’s helping me. It’s the only way I can shut down the emotions.”
Kendle sighed. “Don’t you want to live again?”
“I’d rather be dead.”
“Don’t talk like that.”
Cree raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to lie?”
“I want you to save yourself. I’m trying, and you fight me every step of the way.”
“I’m fine.” Her voice softened. “I’m just not ready to give this up. Out here I have my freedom. I tell you that over and over again. He can’t find me here. I’m faceless, a no name. I don’t have any cares. I can sleep and not be afraid he’ll wake me up. This is my home.”
“Anyway…” Kendle tried to change the topic, but it took everything inside of her. “Graham says the pictures were amazing. He thinks there’s something there. I don’t know if it’s legit, but it’s the best shot I have at doing more.”
Cree couldn’t understand her sister giving up a good thing for the uncertainty this new career offered. “Stavros is good to you. Why don’t you stay there?”
“I will for now, but I can’t afford more than a crappy motel room with the money I make there. It’s not his fault; it’s just a tiny dive. I want more. I wish you did.”
“Maybe one day, and thanks for the muffins.”
“Sure thing. Come by my place later, get cleaned up. At least use my shower.” Kendle pleaded.
“The bathroom at the gas station is fine…”
“Cree,” she whined, “do it for me. Please.”
“Fine.”
Once again, Kendle changed the subject. “Have you heard from Crystal lately?”
“Not since she took the overdose. They said she’s okay, but she’s been lying low.”
There were only a handful of people Kendle would ask about, and Crystal was one of them. Another runaway that grew up on the streets. She was legally an adult, but had been working the streets long before she should have been.
“Okay. I’m going to head out. Stop by later before work.”
Cree nodded. “Just for a little while.” She didn’t want to get too comfortable being indoors. It took a lot of time to adjust to living outside. If she got soft and gave in like Kendle did, it would be difficult to readjust to concrete and grass, and a lack of climate control.
Life was so much easier when she was younger. A warm house, food, a comfortable bed…if only her father hadn’t…she shut her mind down. It didn’t do her any favors thinking about the past. Hot water. She missed how easy it was to come by hot water. At the gas station, they took the hot water faucet off, so you only had access to cold water. A hot shower would be nice, but she didn’t want to grow weak and start to miss the things she once knew.
It started one night. He swore it would only be once, but he kept coming back. Then he wanted to do more things. She was damaged goods. He made sure she knew that no man would want her now. She got the last laugh; plenty of men pay money to spend time with her. He was wrong.
Chapter 7
Graham came by the truck stop. “Pack your things. We’re going to be busy this week. Clarisse says the shots I took are golden. It’s time to grow your star.”
“I can’t just leave. I have a job. Besides, Stavros needs me here. He helped me when I needed it, and I’m not going to bail on him without some kind of notice.”
“Let me handle this.”
“What?” She watched as he walked behind the counter and leaned into the open kitchen window.
“Stavros,” he called out. Turning to double check, he asked Kendle, “Stavros, right?”
She nodded, nervous.
Stavros’s voice boomed from the back, “What do you want, and why are you in my window?”
“I need Kendle for a bit. I can pay you for her time. Hire a temp to fill in, and she’ll be back in a week’s time.”
“What? You think you can just come in here with your fancy car and toss money at me?” Stavros didn’t like the man, didn’t trust him at all. And now this?
Graham was surprised at his attitude. “This could be her future. She could be a star.”
“I don’t like you. You should leave.”
“What will it take…two hundred dollars, three hundred?” He was peeling money off a stack of bills.
“Take your money and leave my waitress alone, or I shall grill the side of your face in my kitchen.” His thick accent made him sound almost charming.
“It’s okay, Stavros.” Kendle jumped into the conversation. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Do you want to go with this man?” Stavros asked her.
“I don’t
know.”
Stavros turned back to Graham. “Is this true, or are you playing head games with her? Does she stand a chance from your picture taking?”
“A very good chance.”
“Then you give me seven hundred dollars. I’ll give half to Kendle, and then use half to hire a fill-in.”
“Seven?” Graham shook his head. “Five.”
Stavros stood firm. “Seven, or get out.”
“Fine, seven.” He grumbled and pulled bills to hand to the owner.
“That’s a lot of money in your pocket, no? Give it to her. I don’t want to touch your dirty money.”
“It’s not dirty money.” Shaking his head, Graham couldn’t believe he was having this conversation. He thought Kendle would be ecstatic. Any girl would be for a chance at stardom, or so he thought. Who doesn’t want their face plastered everywhere so everyone can see that she’d made it to the top?
Kendle handed the money to Stavros.
“Here, you take four hundred back. If you need to get away from him, you’ll have enough. You call me if he gives you any trouble or gets too close.”
“It’s too much.” She gasped, holding the bills.
“You work hard. You deserve it. Now go be a star. I’ll see you next week.”
“Thank you,” she mouthed to the man in the kitchen window.
“You touch her, I grill your face. Just a friendly reminder…” Stavros laughed as he went back to his grill and slapped his metal spatula against it.
“That’s a scary guy,” Graham commented.
“He means well.”
“We should go. Pack your things. You’re going to stay with me for the week. I have a spare room you can use.”
Kendle couldn’t believe he expected her to just walk out during her shift. “I can’t go now. I have to finish my shift.”
Graham was shocked. “I just paid good money.”
“Tomorrow. I can come by tomorrow.”
“Fine, then first thing in the morning the car will be around to pick you up. What’s your address again?”
“Can’t they just pick me up here?”