Rag Doll

by Catori, Ava

  “I know, right? Craig, this is Kendle. Kendle, Craig.”

  Kendle nodded, not saying much.

  “Kendle, there’s a robe back there. Why don’t you put that on and then come sit out here? Craig’s going to be doing some hair and make-up work. I’d like to take some dramatic shots.” He turned to his friend. “I’m thinking an overly dark smoky eye, barren lips, just a touch of powder, and her hair…” His voice trailed off as he thought about that.

  “I’ve got just the thing.” Craig placed his train case down and popped it open. “Leave it to me, old boy.”

  Old boy. Graham hated that expression. He felt old next to Craig and the even younger Kendle. She’d never see him as anything other than an old man, though he was barely forty. Not yet, but soon. In this day and age, forty felt old. Everyone around him was getting younger. In another ten years, fifty would be creeping up. A girl like Kendle looks through a man like Graham…until he’s famous. Then they’d all want to wrap around his arm.

  Graham watched Craig work his magic. He was a talented artist. You wanted good people to work with, and Craig was professional. He partied a little too hard at times, but always showed up on time and pulled off amazing looks. He was a contact from his past, but one he’d worked with a few times. They kept in contact after Graham’s fall from disgrace, remaining friendly, but that’s how it was. Networking was crucial in this world. You kept as many contacts as you could.

  Graham breathed in deeply on seeing the finished product. “Stunning,” he whispered. He knew she was beautiful, but he didn’t expect her to be so absolutely gorgeous. “The red dress,” he instructed. “Let’s do that next.”

  She was a vision. The silk dress skimmed her body magically, each movement making it shimmer. Her eyes darkened with kohl and fire. The mix of her intensity and the make-up, the movement of the dress… Graham made love to the girl with his camera. She was completely unaware he was falling for her. He was just as surprised. He could barely look away; she was beautiful like a raw slice of perfection, like butterfly wings that fluttered, like diamonds gleaming in moonlight.

  Even dressed in designer frocks and with make-up thick enough to scrape off, it was her vulnerability that came through. She was a lost little girl playing dress up. You couldn’t pay for that shit. It was real. It was inside of her. She had the magic.

  He dreaded putting his camera down. He could make love to her with the lens all day long. He wanted to reach out and touch, but knew there were boundaries. It was complicated. This wasn’t the girl to fall in love with. She had too much baggage, and he needed her rise to fame.

  “What is that?” He whispered, seeing the faraway look in her eyes.

  “What is what?” She asked, not understanding his question.

  “The pain that speaks to me through your soul.”

  Kendle turned away. “I should get changed.”

  Craig interjected. “Maybe we should try something a little more earthy and soulful. Let’s strip the make-up down to the basics. I think she can pull off a nude face, maybe a touch of powder, barely a dash of mascara, and we’ll pinch her lips and gloss them.”

  Graham turned to Craig. “Yes, I’d like that. I’m going to grab some things from wardrobe while you’re changing her look.”

  Kendle changed out of the dress she wore, and slipped back into the robe. She quietly sat in the chair, patiently waiting for Craig to work his magic once more. Washing the make-up off, he stripped her face naked. “What are you hiding in your eyes?” It was more a statement than a question.

  Kendle was surprised by the question. “I’m not hiding anything. Why do you say that?”

  “It’s hunger and desperation. I’ve seen the look before,” he explained.

  Kendle said nothing.

  “So, do you party?” Craig knew nothing of her.

  “No,” she shook her head. “I’m not much for socializing.”

  “You should join us. I’m going to a hot spot tonight. I can introduce you around to some of the other up and coming girls,” he offered.

  “I’m not interested, but thank you.”

  Craig chuckled. “I’m not asking you on a date. It’s networking. Honey, you’re the wrong girl for me. I like my women dark and with more meat on their bones. You’re pretty, but a bit too slender for my taste. Full hips, a wide ass, that’s more my style. Okay, and maybe a little guy on the side, not that it’s anyone’s business.”

  He rambled on in gossip, like they’d been friends for ages. It felt odd. She’d been so closed off for so long, she wasn’t sure how to respond. She had nothing of interest to add to the conversation, so she simply listened.

  “He’s keen on you.” He continued.

  “Who’s keen on me?”

  “Graham. You didn’t know?”

  She shook her head in denial. “You’re crazy.”

  Graham entered the room with a stack of clothing choices. “A few things I had in the other room. I was given plenty of samples over the years. At least they’re coming in handy again. And who’s crazy?”

  “Oh, it’s nothing. Craig was just asking if I wanted to party tonight.”

  Graham’s jaw tensed. Kendle wasn’t even Craig’s type, but he’d party with her, that’s for sure. He certainly didn’t need Kendle to be introduced to that world already, all blow and pills, and drinks flowing faster than you could inhale them. She’d be strung out in no time.

  “We have plans tonight,” Graham blurted out.

  “We do?” She asked, surprised.

  “Yes, we do. Besides, I need you at your best tomorrow, and partying isn’t going to help.”

  “She already said no,” Craig said flatly, reading Graham’s tone and body language. It was as simple as back off.

  Graham handed her the clothes. “See how these fit. Pick out one or two outfits, and we’ll do a few shots. Then we can wrap for today.”

  Kendle nodded, not sure what was going on between the men, but their once friendly tone had turned icy. Not talking a lot made her more observant. She picked up on subtleties more than she used to.

  “Thank you, Craig. As always, the work is fabulous. I think we’re done here for today.” Graham dismissed Craig, clearly wanting to be alone with Kendle.

  “Suit yourself.” He packed up his case and saw himself out.

  She wanted to ask what was going on between them, but it wasn’t her business. “We have plans tonight?” She quizzed from behind the screen, pulling on a pair of washed out jeans. She flipped through the shirts and chose a simple black, ribbed tank. Coming out in the relaxed outfit and no shoes, Kendle stood on the center of the set up.

  Graham smiled. “Simplicity, I love it. I knew it suited you.”

  “It felt the most like me.”

  “Look to the camera and speak to me with your eyes. Tell me what you need me to know. I don’t need words; just let your body and eyes tell me.”

  She wanted to be good at this, but instead felt overwhelmed. “Can I sit for a moment?”

  “Certainly.”

  She walked to the side of the room and saddled the wooden chair. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head toward the ceiling.

  “Are you okay?” He put his camera down and walked beside her.

  “I’m overwhelmed. It’s more than I think I can handle,” she admitted.

  “Did he come onto you? You can tell me if he did.”

  “Oh, no. He was fine. He was just chattering a mile a minute. I’m just not sure I’m strong enough to feel this vulnerable. I feel exposed when you’re snapping my picture.”

  “Kendle, come with me.” He reached for her hand tentatively, and then led her down the hallway.

  Together they went to the living room. He took her to one of the large windows. “I practically owned this town.” He turned away from her to finish. “And then I threw it all away. I almost flushed my career down the toilet, or what’s left of it. If I didn’t think you had something special, I wouldn’t waste my energy. Bei
ng vulnerable in front of the camera is magic. So many models are plastic and pose. You’re a living, breathing specimen that speaks to the camera. Your shots are amazing. This is what you’re meant to do.”

  “No.” Her face was sullen, slack, and her voice quiet. “I was meant to save my sister. I couldn’t save her before. I need to redeem myself. That’s the only reason I’m here. I need to be honest with you.”

  Graham reached up to her shoulders and turned her toward him. “Then let’s save her together.” He tenderly stroked her cheek. Her eyes welled up with tears, but she forced them back, not wanting to cry.

  “Why are you helping me?”

  “I’m helping me. I want to get back on top.”

  “She doesn’t want to be saved.” Her voice was barely audible. “I keep trying.”

  “Then we’ll try again.”

  “Why?”

  He shrugged. “You’ve touched something in here.” He tapped his finger to his heart. “I haven’t felt much lately. It’s nice to feel things again.”

  She recognized that feeling. Her heart had been empty for too long.

  Chapter 10

  If he knew the truth…if he knew she was a common hooker before she worked at the truck stop…no, don’t panic. He didn’t reel when he found out about Cree. He said he wanted to help.

  Trust. She wasn’t sure if she trusted him. Was it pity? She didn’t need his pity. Was he trying to be her friend, her mentor, or would he use her? What did he want?

  “Why don’t we finish up and get something to eat?” Graham turned and walked back to the room set up as a studio. “Is your sister okay?”

  “He hurt her. I went to see her before I came here.” She couldn’t talk. The words got stuck in her throat.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s an ugly life. There’s pain and heartache. You’re numb, and there’s nobody to trust.” She wasn’t even talking to him anymore. He could tell she was lost in her thoughts. Her eyes were vacant. “I never wanted this. I just wanted to get out. I didn’t think it would happen like this. I didn’t know what else to do. We needed food, money, a place to sleep.” She snapped out of the daze she’d fallen into. Rubbing her face with her forearm, she dried the isolated tears that fell.

  “Get out of what?” He asked gently, not wanting to frighten her.

  “I need to use the bathroom.” She left, not answering his questions. If he thought he’d soften her, he was mistaken. She couldn’t afford to get soft. Not until she got her sister out. When she returned, ice was back in her eyes. She’d shut down. He knew she was different. The hurt in her eyes was gone. All that was left was vacancy.

  “Why don’t you change? We’ll go get a bite to eat.”

  She shook her head a little. “I’m not hungry. In fact, I think I’m going to go home. I can come back tomorrow.”

  “Stick around and have some food with me.” It was more a statement than a request. “You need to eat.”

  Kendle shrugged. Going behind the screen, she changed back into her own clothes. As she turned around, he was standing there, too close. Kendle gasped, not expecting him to be there. “How long were you there?”

  Graham reached up to stroke her cheek. “You’re beautiful.”

  Kendle turned her cheek away. “I should go.”

  Graham sighed. “Very well.”

  She didn’t know what she expected, but that wasn’t it. “You’re not going to stop me?”

  “Do you want me to?”

  “That’s a loaded question.”

  “Is it?”

  She didn’t know what to say. She obviously wasn’t a prisoner here. It was a comfortable place. He wanted to feed her, said he’d help save her sister. What did he really want in return? A lover? A model? A pet? She couldn’t read him. One minute he was about climbing to the top, and talking about the past. The next, he was tender and wanting to touch her.

  She didn’t like to be touched. Not anymore. Not after her father, not after paying customers, and certainly not now. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

  “I want to make you a star.”

  “Is that all?”

  He looked into her eyes. “I don’t know. There’s something about you that draws me in.”

  Kendle felt uncomfortable. “This isn’t what I bargained for.”

  “And yet, you haven’t left.”

  “You said you’d help me. I need to save my sister.”

  Graham smiled. “Then stay and have dinner with me, and we’ll talk. Tell me more about her situation.”

  “Only for her, nothing more.”

  “Understood.”

  They found themselves in the kitchen. “I’m not much of a cook, though I’ve got an extensive stash of take-out menus.”

  Kendle got up. “May I?” She stood before the fridge and opened it. “It’s full. If you don’t cook, who does?”

  He shrugged. “Sometimes I hire somebody to cook for me.”

  “Only sometimes?”

  “I like my privacy, what can I say?”

  Kendle scanned the fridge and freezer. “How about steak and asparagus?”

  “Sounds delightful.”

  Kendle pulled out the ingredients she needed and got to work. She poked around finding where everything was located. “I used to cook when my mom had to work late,” she explained.

  “Where is she now?” he asked, wanting to learn more about her.

  “Who?”

  “Your mom.”

  Kendle responded without hesitation. “She’s dead. So is my father.”

  Graham’s eyes softened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know. When did they die? Were you and your sister orphans? Is that why…”

  Kendle choked on her words. “They aren’t really dead. They’re just dead to me.”

  “Oh, I see.”

  “We’ve been on our own for a few years,” she explained.

  “Do you want to tell me more?”

  She shook her head slightly. “Not especially.”

  “What about your sister?” Graham asked. He couldn’t help her if he didn’t know what was going on.

  “She says she’s not ready to leave the lifestyle. I don’t know how to convince her.”

  Graham frowned. “Why does she stay? Is she afraid of that man?”

  “No. He doesn’t frighten her, he only hurts her.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  Kendle tried to explain in a way he would understand. “She doesn’t want to stop, because it helps her stay numb. Being numb is her escape.”

  Graham wanted to know more, wanted to pry, but knew to let Kendle drip the words out a bit at a time. When she wasn’t facing him, as she cooked, she opened up and talked more. Facing him, being confronted, she froze up.

  “What is she escaping from?”

  “The past.” She wasn’t ready to tell him more.

  “I see. Do you need help over there?”

  “No.”

  “How can I help your sister?”

  “I don’t know if you can. I want to get her in therapy. I’m only doing this to make enough money to help my sister. Or at least get her inside. She won’t move inside.”

  “What? What do you mean, inside?” It was a foreign language to him.

  “I’ve said too much.” She turned her attention back to her cooking.

  “Don’t stop now. I want to help.”

  “Can you help? I don’t know if you can.” There was sadness in the realization. She turned around and faced Graham. “Can we change the topic?”

  “Sure.” Her eyes, her beautiful eyes... He wanted to kiss her cheeks, tenderly stroke her hair, and tell her it would be okay. He’d make things right. How could he be falling for her so quickly? It wasn’t his intention, and yet every time he looked into her face he wanted to save her.

  This was insane. He barely knew the girl, but he certainly knew himself and the patterns he could never escape. He had some weird rescue syndrome going on, a woman in distres
s, and he could come to the rescue looking like a hero. But when everything was better, he’d lose interest. This wasn’t about the girl. They’d barely spoken. This was about his need to rescue her. Graham forced himself to put things in perspective. Don’t fall for someone for the wrong reasons. She’s much too young, and she’s got tons of baggage. She’s the stepping stone you need to get to the top. Don’t lose sight of the top.

  Kendle set the food on the table, and they sat to eat. “I’m not sure I can stay for the full week. I feel out of place. I’d like to go home.”

  Graham nodded. “Give it another day. If you still feel uncomfortable, we’ll drop you off and pick you up. We have a lot of work to do, though. I’ll be sending your shots out to a couple of contacts, and we’ll need to teach you a few ways to move. How do you feel about cosmetic procedures?”

  She raised her brows in surprise. “What do you mean?”

  “Chemical peels, teeth whitening, laser hair removal…”

  “Is it necessary?”

  Graham shrugged. “Not at this point, but it could be helpful.”

  “I’d prefer not to do anything like that for now.” She looked down, not sure how she’d pay for it. She figured he’d pick up the expense, but she didn’t want to owe him. Was she really ready to be displayed on a print ad or a billboard somewhere? Would she wear clothes for a catalog? The idea of modeling felt alien to her. He was saying it was real, it could happen, she had something special, but were they just words? She didn’t feel special.

  “I think you should be open to it.”

  “I think you’re pushy.” She glared at him.

  He said nothing, and met her stare. “You’re a tad ungrateful for this opportunity. I pluck you out of nowhere, and am offering you the moon and stars. You could at least be a little more grateful and willing to help yourself.”

  She stared at the man, and then stood. “I think I should go.” She hated confrontation.

  “Kendle, sit down.” His voice was firm.

  “You don’t own me,” she snapped.