by Mia Madison
Vanessa paused, as if she were gauging me. After a moment, she nodded, smiled, and excused herself. “BRB!”
She emerged moments later with what appeared to be a gift box. The box was covered with purple velvet and had gold metal trim along the sides.
“The fuck is this?” I eyed the mysterious purple velvet box Vanessa set on the table in front of my.
“I’m about to explain.” Vanessa sat down on the couch next to me, closed her eyes, and murmured to herself. Now my brows knitted. I didn’t know what was going on, but this weird shit was not on the menu.
Vanessa finished her murmurs, then looked at me.
“Remember how my life went to hell in a hand basket last year?”
I nodded, remembering how she was laid off in the middle of medical challenges. She had been sick for months, and exhausted nearly all of her savings. Still, I wasn’t sure where this was going.
“Life was rough,” Vanessa continued. “Way rough. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get the breakthrough I needed. I prayed, went to church, meditated… Nothing worked. I got desperate.”
She nodded to the box. “I did a little research, took a leap of faith, and tried something different.”
She reached over towards the box, and placed it in the space between us. “I swear you’d better not tell anyone. Don’t judge me either.”
I was tired of the theatrics. “Dammit, Vee, just open the box, will you?”
Vanessa wordlessly opened the latch, and flipped the lid. An aromatic blend of herbs, spices, and florals scented the air. I peeked in.
“You’re acting crazy over a box of candles, oils, and potpourri?” I rolled my eyes in disbelief. “What’s the big deal?”
“They’re not just candles, oils, and ‘potpourri,’ hussy.” Vanessa’s voice had a light snap to it. “These are magical tools. I use these to cast spells.”
“Spells?” My eyes jerked to my cousin. “So you’re telling me you cast a spell to fix your life?”
“Yes.” There was not an ounce of playfulness in her tone. “I’m a witch.”
I looked at my cousin, speechless.
Vanessa? A witch? How?
You don’t understand. Vanessa went to church regularly. She was prim and clean. She was proper and polished, with a glamorous Hollywood appearance that looked more like a movie star’s girlfriend than a practitioner of magic.
She never gave out that earthy New Age or gothic dark vibe either. In fact, she rolled her eyes at a lot of my “New Agey-ness,” as she put it. She even teased me and called me Woo Woo Space Cadet from time to time.
“I have so many questions,” I murmured. This was more than I expected. I wasn’t emotionally prepared to deal with this.
“Let me explain first,” Vanessa interjected, sensing my discomfort. “Give me the opportunity to grant you full disclosure so you can make an informed decision.”
I crossed my arms and sat back. “Oh, you can believe I’m listening. Especially since you’ve always made fun of my beliefs.”
Vanessa threw her hands up and slapped them on her thighs in exasperation.
“Because you’re so extra with it!” She said. “Anyway, I’ve been doing magick, with a ‘k’ on it for about a year. I started by reading this book called The Inner Temple of Witchcraft by Christopher Penczak. It opened my eyes to some of your New Age thoughts. They made a lot of sense in his context.”
“Well, duh!” I said. “I’m not an airhead!”
“Siiiiiigh,” Vanessa dragged out, playing an air violin. I threw her a middle finger. We giggled before continuing.
“One of Penczak’s most powerful explanations of the magick stated that it’s the ‘ability to communicate to the universe what you want in an effective way, so that the universe can then respond and create what you desire.’ Something about that statement resonated with me. I realized that I was praying, and I was taking action but something about what I was doing…”
“Wasn’t effective,” we said in unison, exchanging silent, knowing glances. I was familiar with Penczak’s readings. Inner Temple was a cornerstone of my personal expansion of spiritual and esoteric beliefs.
“I didn’t share what I was doing with you because I know how much I’ve teased you about this,” she confessed. “I also didn’t know how to tell anyone. You’re the only person who knows this about me now.”
“And I’ll keep it that way.”
My tone was compassionate and understanding. I shared a lot of my beliefs, but there were still times I concealed my nature.
There’s so much misinformation about magick. You didn’t want to express or defend your views to everyone, and experience the backlash. Besides, most magick thrived best with concealment. The less others knew, the better, to prevent their intentions from destroying your work.
“Thank you.” Her brown eyes softened. “And I also want to apologize. Not only for shutting you out of this, but making fun of your beliefs. I just haven’t learned to really accept how different I am in public.”
I shrugged, accepting her warm sincerity. I learned long ago that people projected their own shit onto you. It was your job to understand who you were in spite of what they said or felt.
This was starting to become less scary and more exciting, especially since my cousin and I were in this together.
Vanessa rummaged through the box, pulling out several red candles, two small vials of oil, and a small silver pouch. She then closed the box and set it back on the table behind the items she retrieved.
“The first thing you need to know - even though I’m sure you know this already,” she started. “Is that magick occurs in many forms. Not every one who casts spells, or ‘does magick,’ if you will, is some puke-green witch with a big, hooked nose riding her clit against a broomstick.”
Well duh, my love.
“Second thing to know: the magick I perform is about energy and intentions, like what’s discussed in that movie The Secret. Except there’s more work to my process.”
“This” - she picked up the silver pouch and tossed it in my lap - “is for you.”
I eyed the pouch skeptically. Vanessa encouraged me to open it. Inside, I found a tiny hot pink votive candle, a small pink stone, a pouch of lavender mixed with other herbs, and a small piece of paper. I pulled the paper out and unfolded it.
The hell?
“Love Spell Kit?” I read the paper aloud. “Vanessa, you can’t be serious.”
Chapter Nineteen
Misha
“Chill out.” Vanessa rolled her eyes. “This isn’t a random love spell I found on the Internet. It’s designed to help you clear the obstacles to love standing in your way, so that real love can find you. I’ve done this spell many times and it works.”
“Why would I need to clear obstacles?”
“We all do. It’s part of the work we must do sometimes,” Vanessa replied matter-of-factly.
I waited for her to continue.
“We’re spiritual beings inhabiting human bodies. You know this. We’re members of an energetic universe. We’re told words have powerful energy, and we know the magic that comes from having focused energy. It creates magnificent outcomes. But when it comes to our personal lives, we don’t realize we have to catalyze what we want by focusing our energy, thoughts, and words - and actions - to manifest them into being.”
“Behavioral congruency, on an energetic and spiritual level,” I said. “Hmm. Makes sense.”
Vanessa nodded. “Exactly that. You want to fix your love life? Start by clearing out everything keeping you from true love.”
A wash of clarity flowed over me. Unclogging the romantic drain would be really helpful. I imagined Alex being the biggest lump of hair and gunk in my way. To eliminate that would bring in something I truly needed: real love.
Totally sold, I leaned forward. “Okay, so how does this work?”
“First things first, this spell works with rose quartz, that little pink stone in the bag. Rose
quartz is ideal for attracting romantic love and experiencing self-love, which is the foundation for great relationships.”
I picked up the stone and fingered it as she spoke.
“The pink candle is reiki-infused to purify and transform your energy and the energy in your environment. The herbs, the oils, and these candles? They’re all ingredients to help set and focus your intention. They’re not all required, but they don’t hurt to use in your ritual.”
She smiled a naughty smile as she added, “That’s what makes doing magick fun.”
“I don’t know about all of this, Vanessa. Sounds good but are you sure a love spell will give me what I need?” I paused, and then added, “You know we come from a highly religious background.”
“Yeah, duh,” Vanessa replied. “I still have my religious faith. I’ve just expanded beyond those boundaries and found something that’s enhanced my walk. One thing religion hasn’t done for me is given me the sense of empowerment I needed to take control of my life. I got tired of questioning my existence, wondering why my life was out of control, and feeling so lonely.”
That struck a chord in me. I hated feeling completely helpless and thrown around by life’s whims. Especially with matters of the heart.
“And this helped?”
She nodded. “Magick isn’t the most popular thing in the world. It’s not something you discuss openly either. We both know you have to screen what you share. But trust me: Ever since I’ve gone down this path, I feel like it’s given me a stronger relationship with… with everything, God included. I’ll never look back.”
I paused. That was a heavy statement. But I knew Vanessa. She was one of the most solid, respectable, and spiritually strict women I knew - until now. She wouldn’t tell me this if she didn’t believe it to be the case.
I nodded, slowly. This was a stroke of serendipity, an encounter that was meant to happen. It had to be, because there were no coincidences in life. Just cause, and effect. I’d been praying for answers and doors to open. I just didn’t know it would come in this form.
But as they say, you have to be open to all channels through which the Universe speaks to you. And this resonated really deeply in my heart.
“Got it.” I said. “I’ll try it.”
Vanessa smiled. She almost looked relieved.
“Once you get into this, you’ll see it’s more like science than anything else,” she added. “I don’t know who you’re meant to be with, but I do know if you’re serious about attracting love, this will work.”
Chapter Twenty
Misha
An hour later, I was sitting cross-legged on my couch, ready to give Vanessa’s love spell a chance.
I figured, at the very least, it would be an amusing story to share. You know, if I ever felt comfortable enough to share.
I was a woman who dreamed big yet moved practically. I never thought I’d ever do a love spell, but I was driven by loneliness. I needed to experience real love, one that out-shined the Alex Experience, and I was willing to do anything to relieve the pain. If it took an eccentric love spell, so be it.
I felt my nerves rattle just the slightest bit as I re-read the instructions for the fifth time.
I wasn’t deeply religious as of lately. I felt like every angel in Heaven had forgotten about me. And though I didn’t feel I had anything to lose, I still couldn’t help feeling slight trepidation of actually going through with the spell.
Spells can backfire. I’d read horror stories on the Internet about spells that reversed themselves on the spell caster.
And then this whole concept of free will. Would casting this spell impose on someone else’s free will? I didn’t want to interfere with that; in fact most witches I’d read up on warned against that.
What if the spell worked, but it actually made my losing streak worse? And let’s say there were an afterlife, what would I say if God disapproved of my decision?
I was caught up in my worries, swirling them in a jumble of emotions when one thought pressed forth and imprinted on my brain.
You’ve been praying, crying, meditating, Spirit walking… At what point do you stop waiting for God to do the work and step in and take what you want?
Life is a co-creative experience. Stop overthinking this, and go co-create the love you want.
Realizing it was now or never, I hopped off the couch, brought the items to my kitchen counter, and took control.
Vanessa advised me to smudge before I did my spell. I opened my windows, lit my dried white sage, and walked through every room in my house. I made sure the smoke trailed along every corner, even in my closets, cleansing all the negative, stagnant vibes floating around my home.
“You want your environment to become a clean canvas for the work you’re doing,” she reminded. “Sage is an energetic purifier that will set the foundation for your work.”
I knew about sage and how great it was, but I indulged her take-charge attitude. This was my first spell, and I had to have the spirit of an open-minded, open-hearted child.
No matter how many times I’d smudged in the past, my nose always wrinkled at the heavy, earthy scent of the herb, which reminded me of marijuana. I hoped my neighbors didn’t think I was a pothead. I aired out my home for 10 minutes, allowing the energy (and earthiness) to dissipate.
Once I closed my windows, I walked around the apartment once more, this time with a burning braid of dried sweetgrass. The thinner, longer braid of grass was to call in positive energy. It was a little harder to burn, but its more pleasant scent reminded me of Snickerdoodles.
I cleared off my far left kitchen counter, making it my sacred space to perform the spell.
I fished the small pink votive, rose quartz, herbs, vial of oil, and rolled up paper from the silver pouch. I pulled a frosted glass votive holder, etched with ॐ, the symbol for Namaste, from my drawer, and placed it on the granite counter as well.
It was 11:47 PM, less than fifteen minutes before I needed to be in bed.
I applied some of the oil to myself, and used my fingernail to carve a tiny gash into the top of the candle. I dressed the candle by pouring a touch of oil into the gash, and pressing a pinch of the dried lavender herbs into the pool before pushing the excavated pieces of wax on top of them.
Lighting the candle felt much more dramatic than it probably really was. My breath hitched, and I think seeing the flame made me see how real this was.
I picked up the rose quartz with my left hand, and closed my eyes to focus my attention. Mental clarity was paramount. I took three slow, deep cleansing breaths and invoked the spell:
“Love Love come to me
In abundance three times three
May I find my love whose heart’s so bright
It glows like a star amongst the night
This I accept, so mote it be
Bring my true love right to me!”
Eyes still closed, I visualized a sparkly spiral of gold and pink light tumbling from the heavens, filling my heart with pure love energy.
“Thank you,” I whispered, remembering Vanessa’s tip that gratitude enhanced the effectiveness of this spell.
I sent Vanessa a few texts as I drifted off to sleep. She called, and asked how I felt after doing my first spell.
I was relieved that the ritual wasn’t as cumbersome or scary as I initially feared. At the same time, there was a part of me completely underwhelmed by the experience.
On TV and in movies, you see sparkling lights, whirls of glitter… things that basically made it obvious the magick was working. I hadn’t even felt so much as a tingle in my ear.
I knew this was a childish, asinine desire. Like metaphysics, magick wasn’t intended to be dramatic and obvious. Magick’s energy was much more subtle in nature, especially for beginners whose day-to-day lives are highly stimulated. The depictions on TV was nothing more than for entertainment purposes.
“We’re so used to shallow breathing, and overstimulation that you’re not going to fee
l the energy sometimes. But it’s working. I’m not saying this is something you want to make a lifestyle of, but should you really want to explore the dynamics of energy, meditation and visioning are helpful activities that will enhance your sensitivity.”
“So what happens now?” I wondered how this would work. “When will I know the spell is working?”
“Woman, you just started. This is a seven day spell. You’re going to perform the exact same ritual for the next six nights, preferably around the same time. Give it time, you’ll see changes,” Vanessa affirmed. “It’s hard to explain, because everyone’s experience is different, but you’ll see things start to happen. Look for synchronicity. When things start to line up effortlessly for you, that’s a sign the spell’s manifesting.”
I needed more clarity.
“How so?”
She paused, thinking of a perfect example.
“Let’s say you run out of lemonade and decide to go to the store. They don’t have the brand you buy, so you have to drive to another location you don’t regularly go to. But when you get there, you’re in the checkout line, and the guy behind you starts talking about how much he loves that brand. He’s just your type, tall and handsome. He also seems to be really interested in talking with you. You enjoy a short but sweet small talk session, and since it’s only one item, he offers to pay for it. You may or may not exchange numbers, but there was a small connection in the moment, one that would not have happened if you were at the store you originally shopped at.”
“That’s so random.”
Vanessa chuckled. My naiveté clearly amused her. “Magick is not designed to be obnoxiously obvious, bitch. You watch too much Harry Potter. Magick focuses your mind in a powerful manner, helping you influence the events in your life. Geesh!”
Vanessa would have continued to lecture, but I had already passed out. I’m sure my soft snores let her know I’d boarded the last train to Lala-land.