“So, the lighting is pretty good, huh?” she asked, scooting closer to him and putting a hand purposefully on his upper thigh. He slid an arm around her shoulders, letting his hand dangle casually, maddeningly right over her breast. Despite all of her hesitations and fears over their future, Virginia’s heart sped up. She arched her back a little, so that his palm rested fully on her breast, her nipple instantly growing hard.
“Yeah,” he answered in a low, husky voice, “I’d have to agree with that. Good food, too, by the way. Satisfying.”
“I’m glad,” she said breathlessly, “I want you to be satisfied. I... I’m sort of in the mood to be satisfied myself.”
God, had she really just said that? What was happening to her? She had never said anything remotely like that, not once in her life. But then again, she’d never wanted a man as much as she wanted Jonah right now, either. Even the thought of it made her shudder, such a consuming feeling that she hardly had time to be embarrassed by her own forward behavior.
“Are you now?” he growled, moving her hand to the bulge in the crotch of his jeans, “I think I’d like to give that a shot.”
Everything came fast and furious then, a tangle of coats and jeans and limbs. It was starting to get cold now, and Virginia could see her breath on the air, but she didn't feel the chill in the slightest. Jonah's hands moving up the curve of her spine were warm, warm, warm. His fingers sliding inside of her furiously were warmer still.
"Come here," he ordered, laying back and pulling her on top of him. There was no question of whether or not she would obey. It hardly seemed possible, but she wanted him now more than she had ever wanted him before. She wanted him so badly she ached all over, and when he plunged inside of her, rough and insistent, she threw her head back and uttered a cry that sounded more like a wild animal than a human in her own ears.
This time was nothing like the times before. It was needy and somehow savage, their two bodies bucking and writhing in concert like it was the last time they would ever be together. Her orgasm came upon her suddenly, exploding in her pelvis and ripping through the rest of her body with relentless, shattering pulses that left her feeling utterly hollowed out. Still, Jonah thrust into her, his hands holding fast to her bucking hips, every tendon in his muscle standing at attention. As he sped up, losing his control, she watched his face through the haze of her own, almost painful pleasure. At the moment when his eyes rolled into the back of his head, his entire body stiffening, she came again, this time so hard her body gave out, and she fell forward on top of him. She hardly had the strength to roll off of him, and she was grateful when he gently moved her aside, using one of the picnic blankets to cover the both of them.
“That was good,” he finally said, looking up at the stars instead of at her.
She murmured her agreement, not trusting herself to speak. He was right. It was good; the hottest, most explosive sex of her life. Somehow, though, it left her feeling strangely unsatisfied, and in ways she couldn't begin to explain. Because she hadn't managed to close the growing distance between them, not with the picnic and not with the sex. Nothing she was doing seemed to be working and so, with a shaky breath, she decided it was time to speak.
“Jonah?”
“Hm?” he asked lazily.
“What is it with you lately? What’s been weighing on your mind? And please, don’t say nothing. I can tell that’s not true. I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t want to know.”
He was quiet for a long time, long enough that she thought he wasn't going to answer. She prepared to rise, to collect her clothing with as much dignity as she was able and to go back to the house with her question unanswered. Then he cleared his throat and shifted onto one elbow to look at her, and she was afraid. It looked like he was going to answer her question, after all. All of a sudden, though, she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer.
“You’re right,” he finally said, “I’ve had a lot on my mind.”
“Like what?” she asked, her voice so soft she could scarcely hear it.
“It’s just...look, I’m grateful for what you did, talking to Mr. Crane. Apparently, it was something I couldn’t do without you.”
“Don’t mention it. I was happy to help.”
“I know you were. The thing is, I didn’t want to need your help. This stud expansion, it means everything to me.”
“I know it does,” she answered, sitting up and hugging the blanket to her. Jonah sat up, too, reaching for his shirt and getting dressed even as he continued to speak.
“Sure, but in order for it to be done right, I need to be the one to do it. Just me, by myself. I don’t want you involved. It’s too risky. I’m not going down that road again.”
“So, what? You want to do everything alone? I mean, everything?”
“Yes,” he nodded gravely, “that’s what I’m saying.”
“Wonderful,” she laughed without even a trace of humor. Suddenly, she was mad. More than that, she was disappointed. She’d been so sure that the two of them were past this macho, lone ranger stuff. To find out that not only was that not true, but he was essentially banishing her from his life? It was about as far away from what she had been hoping for as things could get.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, his voice growing brittle, defensive.
“You know, my father is like that. It didn’t make him happy at all.”
“Yeah, well that’s him, not me.”
“My fiancé was like that, too. Didn’t make him happy, either. It didn’t work out for him in the slightest.”
The moment the word fiancé slipped out of her mouth, Virginia knew she had made a mistake. Everything about Jonah hardened, whatever small window of openness she had found in him shut for good.
“You may be right about that, Virginia,” he said stonily, standing and pulling on the rest of his clothes, “but they’re both successful men. I aim to be successful, too, whether it suits your idea of happy or not.”
14
It had been a week since Virginia's fight with Jonah down by the barn, and things had been civil between them since. Things had been perfectly fine, just so long as she didn't mind the fact that the two of them felt more like strangers than ever. She knew where he stood now; there was that, at least. Even if she didn't like it.
"Stop it," she hissed to herself, spraying out the last of the third can of starch she'd used in this, her most epic of ironing endeavors. "It's the worst possible time for it, and you know it."
And it was. As wedges between two people went, the timing of this one was just about as bad as it got. Because there was a reason for Virginia’s obsessive, manic laundering and it wasn’t just her tendency towards OCD.
It felt like the row of pregnancy tests—all lined up like sentinels along the bathroom vanity counter—were looking at her. Part of her was still insisting that there had to be some kind of mistake, but another part of her, the part of her that was almost painfully practical, understood that six tests with the same outcome couldn't be wrong.
Pregnant. It sounded like a made-up word, and yet that was what she was. Virginia was pregnant with Jonah's baby, and she hadn't the faintest clue how to tell him. Hence shutting herself up in the master bedroom that belonged to her for the time being, starching her clothes to the point of them being able to stand up all on their own.
She felt like a fool for not having noticed it before. She had been feeling sick constantly for a while now, and although that sickness wasn't contained to the mornings, she was smart enough to know that morning sickness could strike at any time. Then, there was the fact that she had missed her period. Virginia never missed her periods. She had always counted herself as lucky to be as regular as clockwork and yet she had missed her last period completely. Not only had she missed it, but she had been too preoccupied to notice until today. Now, doing the math, she figured she was probably right around eight weeks pregnant. Eight weeks pregnant with a man who had made it clear that he wanted to mainta
in their separate lives.
“But maybe he didn’t really mean it,” she said softly to herself. “He has feelings for you, or at least he did. That couldn’t have all been in your imagination.”
“Virginia?” Jonah’s voice came softly from outside of the closed bedroom door, “Everything okay in there?”
“Fine!” she called back quickly and a little sharper than intended. With things as weird between them as they had been of late, the last thing she needed was for him to catch her talking to herself. Especially talking to herself about him.
“All right, that’s good,” he answered hesitantly, “do you think I could come in? Would that be all right?”
"Sure, suit yourself." She wanted to kick herself for being so short with him, but she couldn't figure out how else to be. She felt turned inside out and totally raw. It was either be too short or fall apart completely, and she couldn't allow the latter to happen. Not now, when everything was such a mess.
“Hey, sugar, I brought you a cup of tea. I was worried about you. You didn’t come out for supper.”
“Thanks,” she said gratefully, welcoming the warmth of the cup between her palms as she accepted Jonah’s peace offering, “this sounds perfect. And I’m sorry about dinner. I just didn’t feel up to it.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he said in a voice so gentle it made her heart ache, “I figured it was something like that. I’ll be honest, and you might hate me for this, you don’t look so hot.”
“You know what?” she laughed shakily, “I don’t even have the energy to be offended. And if I’m being honest, I agree with you, wholeheartedly.”
“Would it be all right if I said I’m worried about you?” he asked earnestly, “Because I am.”
That was it. That was the comment that broke her of her resolve to be strong. At first, just a single, solitary tear rolled down her cheek. Then, it was followed by another and another. All of this time she had spent helping other people achieve their dream weddings, and she had completely missed what was going on in her own life. And here Jonah was, being perfect as usual without even trying, and all she wanted to do was tell him how she felt. She loved him. She knew that now, just as she knew she was a fool not to have noticed it sooner. She loved him, and she was going to have his baby. It should have been a happy time, happy news, and yet she couldn't bring herself to utter the words at all.
"Hey," he crooned gently, "hey, come here."
He took the cup of tea from her trembling hands and pulled her in towards him, cupping one hand on the back of her head and resting the other easily on the small of her back. She felt so safe in his arms, safer than any man had ever made her feel before, and the desire to just spill everything threatened to become overwhelming. She needed to know. After all this time, she needed to know what on earth was happening between them.
“Jonah,” she said in a cracked, muffled voice, “what is this? What are we doing here?”
“I don’t know,” he said over the top of her head. “We fucked this all up, didn’t we? It’s my fault. It was my suggestion to blur the lines. I should have known better. I let us get too entangled.”
“Did you?” she whispered, her body beginning to tremble. She understood that he was trying to help, trying to make her feel better, but his words felt like needles sliding into her skin. The idea that he regretted them getting closer was the last thing she wanted to hear. The last possible thing.
"Sure I did, and I'm sorry for it, truly I am. But it's almost over, Virginia. The sale of the studs is coming up fast, and as soon as that's done, we should be able to start planning to part ways."
“Right,” she answered, choking back a sob. She clung to the back of his shirt, hands shaking, the finality of what he was saying washing over her in sickening waves.
“I’m not afraid of telling you that this faking it shit has been hard on me, too. We went and let ourselves get a hell of a lot more connected than we should have done. We were supposed to operate independently. You said that from the start and I should have listened.”
“But—”
"No," he insisted, "I should have, and that's on me. But it's almost over, and you'll be able to go back to your normal life. None too soon, neither, if you ask me. I'm starting to think this whole situation is what's making you sick."
He was trying so hard to help her. She could see that. She could also see, finally and truly, that he had no intention of making whatever there was between them stick. Heartsick, she finally forced herself to pull away. He was still looking at her with concern in those deep, mesmerizing eyes and she could feel herself wanting to fall into them all over again. Instead, she made her best effort to smile and nodded at him.
“You’re right, Jonah, and thank you.”
“Thank you?” he asked, surprised, “For what?”
“For laying things out so clearly for me. That was exactly what I needed to hear.”
15
“Whoa, sugar, what do we have here?”
Jonah’s words cut through the hubbub of Virginia’s wedding barn and she, along with three people he had never seen before, turned to look at him quizzically. He felt his face go hot and he shoved his hands into his pocket, just like he always did when he was nervous and not quite sure what to do.
“Hi, Jonah,” Virginia said, cheerful but somehow all-business at the same time, “what’s up?”
“Well, nothing, exactly. I came by to see if you needed any help, but it sort of looks like you’ve got that all taken care of. Who the hell are all of these people?”
He had actually come to tell her some news of his own, but seeing how bustling everything was struck him with a sudden pang of nostalgia for when he was still her handyman. Sure, back then, he’d spent a hell of a lot of time sulking, painting an internal picture of himself as over-worked—there was no denying that. Now, though, he found himself missing it. He’d felt so close to her back then, like the business was something they were building together, step by step.
“Jonah!” she said with an exasperated laugh, “They can hear you, you know?”
“My apologies,” he said, tipping his hat in the direction of the strangers in a gesture of amends, “I just wasn’t expecting to see all of these strange faces. I guess I didn’t realize how out of touch I was with things here. I didn’t know you had clients today.”
“Quite all right,” the woman closest to them said, smiling and shooting Virginia a sideways glance, “but we aren’t clients. We’re Virginia’s new staff.” Virginia smiled back at her before putting a surprisingly strong and steady hand on Jonah’s shoulder and leading him outside.
He went with her willingly enough, glad to be away from the prying eyes of strangers. Mostly, though, he was focused in on Virginia, trying to understand just what in the hell was going on here.
Try as he might, he couldn’t seem to reconcile the woman standing before him now with the broken down, sickly woman from a week ago. He couldn’t make himself understand that this Virginia was the same one he’d held, reassuring her that everything would be okay and all over soon enough. Had his words really done her that much good? If so, he was glad, but he was also sort of hurt. He didn’t like to think that the thought of getting rid of him was all it took to set her back to rights again.
“Sorry, Jonah, I’m sure that came as a bit of a surprise,” she said briskly, unaware of the struggle going on inside his head.
“No apology needed. You don’t have to check your business decisions with me.”
“Still, I should apprise you to any new personnel I’m going to have around. Which is what they are. I hired a couple of people to help me run the different parts of the business. I thought it was time for me to expand things enough to keep up with the growing volume. That way I still have time to take care of myself.”
“I think that’s a great idea,” he said truthfully, “kind of wish I had thought of it myself.”
“Please, Jonah, you had plenty of your own stuff on your plate. Speaki
ng of which, what’s up?” she asked, abruptly turning the conversation from her right around back onto him. Man, she was all business today, and although he’d been the one to remind her that that was the kind of relationship they had agreed to in the first place, he wasn’t sure how much he liked it.
“What do you mean?” he asked stupidly, half of his mind still on the new assistants he had never thought to suggest.
“I mean what brought you out here,” she said with a gentle smile.
“Oh! Oh, right. I just wanted to let you know that it’s done. The sale of the studs. It went through this morning.”
“Oh, Jonah! That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you, really. I know how much this means to you.”
She threw her arms around him in a fierce hug, and he took a deep breath, relishing that honey scent he'd somehow become accustomed to during her stay. He found himself wanting to soak it up a while and when she pulled away he felt a flash of irritation.
“Thanks, sugar. That means a lot coming from you.”
"Good," she said, smiling at him again before glancing over her shoulder at the barn, "listen, I really need to get back in there and hammer out some details for our next event, but do you have some time tonight? I would really like to take some time and talk if you're free."
“Free as a bird,” he confirmed, his body still sizzling with the phantom weight of her touch.
“Good. Then tonight it is.”
She turned and hurried back inside, laughter coming from the barn’s interior as soon as she returned. Jonah stood and watched the place where she had been for a long, long time before he was able to make himself get back to his own work.
He spent the rest of his day thinking on what she might have planned for the evening. All kinds of things went through his mind, everything from a celebratory dinner to one final roll in the hay to put a cherry on the top of all their accomplishments. It got so bad that he could hardly concentrate on what he was trying to do, and he called it quits with his work earlier than he'd done in a while.
The Cowboy’s Contract Marriage: Grant Brothers Series Book Two Page 9