by Jenna Mindel
Nick sat on the floor a short distance away and Corey lay on his belly next to him.
When she entered, Nick looked up at her with shining eyes. “We’re waiting for one more.”
Beth glanced at the vet, feeling sorry for pulling the old man away from his evening. The animal doctor didn’t seem to mind. He gave her a cheerful nod and left the room whistling. No doubt to attend to his office business or the dogs in back while they watched the wonder of puppy birth.
Nick held out his hand. “Come here.”
She set her purse on the floor. Without taking his hand, Beth sat on the floor beside Corey.
Corey sat up. “Isn’t this cool? Four puppies.”
Where had that little dog stowed four pups all these weeks? “Wow.”
Nick grinned. “Yeah, right. Wow.”
Beth smiled.
Peanut didn’t notice them much. She was busy sniffing and licking her three puppies, nuzzling them as they wiggled and latched on to nurse.
Beth glanced at Nick over Corey’s head. God had given them a huge blessing. No, five blessings if they included the arrival of Peanut. That little dog had helped bond father and son. Watching Corey lean against his father’s arm, Beth’s eyes stung. They’d healed. They were going to be okay.
Peanut got up, turned a couple of times and then moved away from her pups. The puppies wobbled and rolled around and the last little blessing made its appearance. Another puppy slipped out in a matter of seconds, black-and-white nose first. And Peanut got to work cleaning up the last baby.
Nick chuckled. “That’s it, then. They’re all accounted for.”
“Amen.” It was all Beth could manage around the lump of emotion in her throat. God had saved Corey’s dog and she was grateful.
He hadn’t saved Nick’s wife, though. What had Nick gone through with his son as they’d waited in a different kind of hospital not so long ago? They’d made it through. Battle scarred for sure, but they’d made it.
Could she?
By the time they pulled out of the vet’s and headed for home, Peanut had been x-rayed to make sure nothing had been left behind. The puppies were checked over and sexed. Peanut had three girls and one boy—all were given a clean bill of health.
Nick would receive his bill in the mail, but the guy didn’t even blink at the cost. It was much less than it could have been. Much better outcome, too.
Corey sat in the back with a box holding Peanut and her puppies next to him. “What are we going to name them?”
“Whatever you want.” Nick smiled at his son through the rearview mirror.
“I don’t know any girl names.”
“We could name them different kinds of nuts like their mom.”
Corey laughed. “What other kinds of nuts?”
“Almond or Hazelnut or Cashew or even Filbert.”
Corey laughed harder. “Or Walnut.”
Nick laughed. “Sure, why not?”
Beth stared out the window into the darkness that settled over cherry orchards that had lost their white blooms. Nick grabbed her hand with a squeeze. She looked at him.
“What do you think?”
Beth tried to sound cheerful. “What about Brittle, Butter, Cookie and Cake?”
Nick gave her an odd look. “I think we’ll come up with something.” He threaded his fingers through hers. “Thank you.”
She squeezed back before pulling away. He needed both hands on the wheel for the upcoming curve in the road. “You’re welcome.”
“I mean it, Beth. You’ve done a lot for us. This weekend I’m taking Corey to stay with his grandparents while I’m on duty. Would you go with me? You know, so you can meet them.”
“Let me think about it.” Beth had to admit she was curious about them, but meeting them was a big step. Maybe in the wrong direction.
She peeked in the backseat. Corey’s head bobbed against his chest as sleep took him. “He’s done in.”
“Corey was a trouper through all this because you were his anchor tonight. He needed you. I needed you, too.”
“Thanks.” What else could she say? The whole way home, Beth couldn’t stop envisioning a different kind of scene—one with Nick in the hospital instead. How would Corey deal with that after losing his mom?
They pulled into Nick’s garage. Beth sat in her seat a moment while Nick unbuckled and then lifted Corey out of his seat. She got out and grabbed the box of dog and puppies while Nick carried his son.
They entered through the laundry room without a word. He walked down the hall to settle Corey into bed, and Beth transferred Peanut and her pups into the blanketed kiddie pool.
The dog licked her hand and then turned her back, shielding her puppies from view.
“Okay, Mama, I’ll give you some space.” Beth understood those feelings. “You’re a good girl, Peanut. A good mama, too.”
Beth left the door open and headed for the kitchen. She’d managed to put the salad and pizza in the fridge before they’d left, but the sink was a mess with all her veggie clippings. She scooped up the waste into a plastic grocery bag and threw it in the garbage.
She washed her hands and then rinsed a clean cloth to wipe down the counter. Corey’s face kept coming back to her. A scared, wide-eyed little boy who’d waited so bravely for news of his dog. Was he brave because he’d been through this before with his mom?
Why did some live and others die?
Beth’s vision blurred. She leaned against the counter and closed her eyes against the burning tears, but they leaked out anyway.
“Hey, hey....” Nick was behind her.
She hadn’t heard him come into the kitchen.
He rubbed her shoulders with strong hands that moved softly. “Beth, honey, what’s going on?”
Beth shook her head, her throat so tight she coughed.
He turned her around and pulled her into his arms.
She welcomed his embrace. Took the warmth he gave, but that was all she’d take. Who was she trying to fool? She fought a losing battle if she thought she could keep herself from falling for him.
“It’s okay. Everything’s okay now.”
But it wasn’t.
He pulled back and looked into her face and rubbed away tears on her cheeks with his thumbs. “Why are you crying?”
She shook her head and sniffed.
Would he be angry if she told him? He’d made it clear he wouldn’t leave law enforcement. Whining about it now was no better than nagging. Beth didn’t want to do either.
She hunted behind her for the roll of paper towels they’d used for napkins at dinner. She grabbed one and wiped her face, blew her nose.
Nick chuckled, but he hadn’t let go of her. His arms hung loosely around her waist. He gave her a gentle shake. “Tell me.”
“I, ah, I don’t know what I would have done if we’d lost Peanut.” Beth couldn’t come clean.
She couldn’t share the visions she’d had of a worried Corey in a hospital waiting room. Didn’t Nick realize the impact on his son if he were injured—or worse—from his job? Sure, he’d moved to where he thought it was safe, but Beth’s father had thought the same thing. She and her mom had, too.
He narrowed his gaze. “We didn’t.”
She looked away.
Nick cupped her cheeks and searched her eyes. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”
“I don’t deal with loss very well,” she managed.
“We didn’t lose the dog, or her pups.”
“But we could have.” Her voice broke.
He ran a hand through her hair. “You’re stronger than you realize, Beth.”
She felt ready to crack into pieces. “I don’t know about that....”
“I do.”
&
nbsp; “What if—”
He traced her bottom lip with his fingertip. “Stop thinking about all the what-ifs. You won’t lose me.”
She clung to that promise.
Nick tipped up her chin and kissed her. Really kissed her.
And she kissed him back.
The tidal wave of feelings hit hard, weakening her resolve to pull back when he deepened their kiss.
She loved Nick.
She loved Corey, too, and more than anything she wanted to protect that boy from any more losses. But how, when she couldn’t even protect herself?
Chapter Twelve
“You got home late last night.” Beth’s mom scrambled eggs with a whisk and then poured the mixture into a hot skillet. “Want some breakfast?”
“Sure.” Beth sat down, rubbing her eyes.
“Everything okay?”
Beth nodded a little too quickly.
Her mom turned off the burner, brought two cups of coffee to the table and sat down across from her. She couldn’t fool her mom, who narrowed her gaze with concern. “Tell me, honey. What’s wrong?”
Nick had called her honey. And later, when she’d left his house, he’d told her that she’d brought sweetness to his and his son’s life.
Beth closed her eyes a couple of seconds before zeroing in on her mother. “If you had the chance to go back, knowing what would happen to Dad, would you have married him anyway?”
Her mother smiled. “You’re in love with Nick.”
Beth took a sip from her steaming mug. “It takes more than love to make it work. You’ve said so yourself.”
“True.” She patted her hand. “Hmm, what’s this all about, Beth?”
Beth continued to sip the gourmet coffee from the coffee club her mother had signed up for. She received regular shipments every month. Too expensive by far, but Beth had to admit it sure tasted good.
They’d never talked about how her father’s death had impacted her mom. It had always been the elephant in the room. Sure, Beth got on her mom about her spending habits and frivolous purchases, but she’d never examined too closely the core reason for them. Beth had been afraid to ask her mom to seek help. She’d been afraid to point out the obvious, as well. Her mom used shopping to fill the void left in the wake of her husband’s death.
Her mother’s eyes filled with tears. “The pain of losing a spouse well before their time is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.”
It hurt to hear her mother’s voice so thick with emotion. “It’s okay, Mom. You don’t have to talk about it.”
Her mother grabbed her hand and gently squeezed. “You need to hear it, Beth. I know you miss your dad. I do, too. And it still stings, even after all this time. I think about him every day.”
Her mom took a sip of her own coffee. “Sometimes I find myself looking forward to telling your father something when he gets home. Like when Peanut followed Corey. Your father would have loved that little dog.”
Beth’s eyes blurred.
“But I’ll see him again. You will, too, Beth. Death is never final.”
She nodded and a tear leaked out.
Her mom patted her hand. “To answer your question, yes, I would gladly marry your father a hundred times over, even though I’ve never felt equipped to handle his death. I’d do it all over again.”
Beth wondered if maybe her mother was far better equipped than she’d ever thought. It was Beth who was the coward here.
“If you want to build a future with Nick and Corey, you need to prepare for the worst but hope for the best. And God is our hope.”
Her mom’s words echoed something Nick had said before. That was the way he prepared for his workday. He prepared for the worst. He truly believed he was in God’s hands.
We’re all in God’s hands.
Even so, Nick carried a gun off duty. Proof of his readiness to act in any given situation. Being a cop was part of who he was, not simply what he did for a living. She’d have to accept that. Embrace it, even.
“Has Nick told you how he feels?”
Beth shrugged. Her heart whirled at the memory of his kisses and the way he’d made her feel. Protected and cherished.
Loved.
Her mom chuckled softly. “Well, it’s obvious he’s crazy about you. Corey is, too.”
Beth ran her fingertip around the rim of her mug. “Tonight Nick’s taking Corey to his grandparents’ for the long weekend since he’ll be working extended shifts. He wants me to go with him.”
“Will you?”
“I would like to meet them.” Beth didn’t add that she wanted to see for herself if they were worthy of caring for Corey in case something happened to Nick.
In case Beth couldn’t follow through on her feelings.
Her mother looked at her long and hard. “Beth, this isn’t something you can figure out with your head. You have to pray for God’s leading and then follow your heart. That’s where He’ll speak to you. Inside your heart, you’ll know, but you have to trust that small voice. Listen for it and you’ll hear.”
“I’ll try.” That was all she could commit to.
For now.
* * *
That afternoon, Nick stepped into Mary Ryken’s dining room. The familiar scent of cinnamon and melted butter hung in the air as always. “Ready, bud?”
His son shifted his backpack on his narrow shoulders. “What about Peanut and the puppies?”
“They’ll be fine at home. I’ll check on them during my rounds.” He glanced at Mary, who held a plastic container of cookies to take with them on the two-hour trip south to Susan’s parents’.
“Beth will be right down,” Mary said. “And Corey had a PB&J and milk and cookies after school.”
“Thanks.”
His son ate better afternoon snacks than Nick typically ingested for lunch. Today was no exception. The hot dog he’d wolfed down lay like a lead pipe in his gut.
He waited for Beth. Was she going with them? She’d never said for sure the night before. But then, he’d never given her the chance to answer before kissing her good-night.
Nick rubbed the back of his neck.
He wanted Susan’s parents to know that he’d not only moved on, but he was settling down for real. They’d seen his house, and he wanted them to meet the woman who would be a good mom to his boy, their grandson.
If Beth agreed to take up the role.
As usual, Nick put the cart before the horse, thinking about a lifetime ahead when they hadn’t gone out yet. He may have kissed Beth only last night, but he already had them married. Would she have him?
“Hi.”
He looked up to see her coming down the stairs dressed in long denim shorts and a pretty yellow top. A light blue sweater hung over her arm. Her purse dangled from the other.
And his heart took a nosedive.
Beth had better have him, because he wanted her. No matter how long it took, Nick made a silent vow he’d convince her to give them a chance. Somehow.
“Hi.” His fingers itched to touch her.
“Thanks for inviting me along.” Beth was at the bottom step.
“Thanks for going.” Nick couldn’t help it. He tucked a strand of her blond hair behind her ear and let his fingers swipe her jaw.
Beth’s cheeks went pink and she looked away. And turned toward Corey. “Are you looking forward to visiting your grandparents?”
“I guess.” His boy shrugged.
Nick tried to shake off the awkwardness that had bloomed overnight between them. “Well, let’s go, then.”
Mary gave him a knowing smile and that gave him hope. As the wife of a cop killed on duty, Mary must have good advice for her daughter. The right advice. But then, Mary hadn’t been excited about him being
a deputy, either. He didn’t need any more strikes against him.
“Not sure when I’ll have her back.” Nick made it sound like a date. Maybe it would be. If they stopped somewhere for dinner on the way home.
“No worries.” Mary’s smile was broader yet.
He hoped so.
Beth gave her mom a sharp look.
Mary trusted him, but he wasn’t sure about Beth. Her fear kept her rolled up tight as a ball of string, and Nick couldn’t find the end in order to unravel it. Beth needed a little unraveling.
By the time they made it to his former in-laws’ house, they’d discussed at length possible names for the puppies. Corey wanted to name them after colors—Blue, Pink, Periwinkle and Red. Nick still pulled for nut names, and Beth thought the puppies should be called Disney character names. Having nothing agreed, they played a rousing game of word rhymes that had eaten up the travel time.
Beth never stopped being a teacher. But then, he never stopped being a cop.
“This is lovely,” Beth whispered as they pulled into the driveway.
“Yeah.” Nick stared at the small farmhouse situated on a large lot in a small village north of Grand Rapids. He’d never given it much notice before. Every other time he’d come here, he’d been in some sort of turmoil—job or Susan related. Now he noticed the flowers that grew in clumps along the walkway. Mary would like them.
“There’s a bunch of cider mills and apple orchards around here.” He and Susan had gotten in an argument at one. Ruined the day, too.
“Similar to home.” Beth smiled, but she looked tense.
“Yeah, sort of.” Nick stalled her with a touch of his hand to her elbow. “Relax—they won’t bite.”
Susan’s parents were standing at the front door. “Corey!”
“Hi, Grandma.” His boy ran into his grandmother’s arms.
“You sure about that?” Beth whispered.
“I got your back.” Nick walked forward and extended his hand to his former father-in-law. “Greg, this is Beth Ryken. Corey’s teacher and tutor.”