If you cared about someone, loved them, and knew they felt the same way about you, instead of running away or assuming the worst, you owed it to them to give them the benefit of the doubt. I knew Shot. Knew him better than I ever thought I would. Sure, it hurt to see him with another woman in a compromising position, but I should’ve known there was more to the story. I let my heart overrule my head and in hindsight regretted it. I was supposed to be smart, but then again, love made fools out of everyone.
“Things will work out with Shot if they are supposed to as well.” And if they didn’t, I’d be okay because I had him and Crew and Kody. No matter what I was facing in the future, I was no longer alone. I no longer had to stand by myself when the world was coming down around me.
Case cleared his throat aggressively and blinked his eyes rapidly. I knew he was fighting to keep back tears, and I was completely touched. I was also totally wiped out. My eyes drifted closed and my hand slipped away from his.
“You’re probably tired. Go back to sleep. I’m gonna hang out until the doctor pops in to check on you and get an update on how you’re doing. Now that you’re awake, we hope we can take you home soon.”
I dipped my chin just a little to agree, however I was asleep before I could lift it back up. Case might’ve seen and spoken with my doctor, but I slept through her coming and going. I didn’t wake again until the faint light of dawn was coming through that crack in the blinds. This time when I peeled my eyes open, my gaze immediately landed on the slumped-over figure sleeping in the uncomfortable chair next to my bed.
Shot looked just as bad as Case had. He had the same gaunt appearance and his normally smooth jawline was peppered with dark stubble. He had dark shadows all over his face, and there was a frown between his heavy brows even though he seemed to be dead asleep. He had a thick, white bandage on the side of his head near his temple, and ugly dark bruises all over that side of his face. His hair was a mess, looking as if he’d combed it with his fingers. What was maybe most shocking about his appearance, he wasn’t wearing the leather vest with all the patches that seemed to be as much a part of him as his tattoos were. Thus far, I’d only ever seen him without it when we were in bed.
He must’ve felt my eyes on him, because a few moments later his big body shifted in the chair and those inky eyes of his popped open. When our gazes locked, he audibly swallowed and slowly got to his feet.
“Case said he made you go home.” I tried to keep my voice light, but I still didn’t sound like myself and talking still took some work.
A lopsided grin crossed his face but immediately fell away. “Case isn’t the boss of me. No one gets to tell me to stay away from you.”
He blinked at me as he reached out a tattooed hand so that he could smooth some of my hair away from my face. I was sure it was filthy and gross, but Shot didn’t seem to mind. “I love you, Presley.” He closed his eyes quickly and when he opened them back up I could see his heart shining out of the dark depths. “I almost lost the chance to tell you that I love you. I’m not going to let that happen again.” He lowered his head, his voice a rough rasp as he assured me of what I already knew. “I’ve never said those words to another woman. To anyone, really. You have to know how special you are to me.”
I wanted to tell him that I loved him as well, but I couldn’t get my mouth to cooperate. Maybe the words were too heavy, too important. I coughed a little and motioned that I needed something to drink. He came back after a minute with a cup of ice chips and delicately helped me munch on a few until I could speak.
I caught his hand and held it to my cheek. He was so warm and for the first time since I’d hit the asphalt outside of the motel, my insides started to warm up.
“I love you, too, Shot. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, but you were the last person I thought about when I nearly died, and you were the first person I thought about when I knew I was going to live. I’ve never been in love before, so I was confused and careless with it, but I know now.” I blinked up at him as emotion stormed through his typically unreadable eyes. “I want to be with you, no matter what.” Even if it meant knowing there were times his club was going to come first. “Why don’t you have your leather vest on?”
He started and looked down at himself. Surprise crossed his face in a flash as he shifted his weight uncomfortably. “I must’ve rushed out of the clubhouse and forgot it.” He looked absolutely bewildered. “This is probably the first time since I started my own chapter that I haven’t had it on.” He gave a wry grin. “Top’s gonna give me hell when I get back.”
I tilted my head ever so slightly since too much movement still hurt. “You look different without it on.”
One of his eyebrows arched upward. “I look like Palmer Caldwell instead of Shot.”
I gasped a little and squeezed his hand as I realized I had never bothered to ask him what his real name was. To me, he’d always been Shot. That was who I’d fallen in love with. That was who I wanted to spend the rest of my life, or at least the rest of our love, with.
“Palmer?”
He chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. The only person who calls me that is Case. My real name goes on the paperwork when he’s arrested me. He does it to remind me there’s a man behind the motorcycle club president. It’s a reminder I need sometimes.” He looked down at me, his eyes suddenly serious and intent. “If you need me to be Palmer in order to be with you, I can. I’ll do whatever it takes not to lose you, Pres. When you went down, when I saw you covered in blood that day—” he swallowed hard and turned his hand over so he was holding mine “—I knew I couldn’t live without you. I can’t say that about the club. If I ever left, or they forced me out, it would suck and I would miss it and the members, but I wouldn’t feel like my life was over. Watching you nearly die—” he shook his head “—I know I can’t give you up.”
It was sweet sentiment, and I knew he meant it in the moment. I also knew that down the road if I made him walk away from something that was so much of what made him who he was, he would resent me and eventually feel like he had lost himself. We were both going to have to sacrifice in order to be together, but that didn’t mean walking away from who we were.
“I like being with Shot. I understand him. I rely on him. I love him. But I won’t say no to spending time with Palmer.” I gave him wobbly smile and told him, “I want to know everything about you, and I want you to know everything about me.”
“Nothing I learn is going to change my mind about being with you. Like I told you before, I’m always going to put you first.” He leaned down so he could touch his lips to my forehead. “Don’t see that changing anytime.”
I closed my eyes and basked in his assurance and presence. “That’s sweet, but still unrealistic. I didn’t get that part of our disagreement wrong. My work is important. Sometimes I get so engrossed in the cases I’m working on I forget about the outside world. I have a family now, and occasionally they will have to come first, too. None of that means I’ll love you less; it just means when those things happen I have to work twice as hard to show you how much you mean to me. It’s all about balance. I overreacted that day because I was scared and frustrated at being out of control of my emotions. Loving someone means you’re opening the door to inevitably being hurt by them, and I thought I could avoid that if I forced some space between us.” When he looked like he wanted to argue I rushed to assure him, “I know it won’t work now. I felt awful after our fight and I feel terrible for not giving you a chance to explain what was going on at the motel before everything went to hell. I won’t make that mistake again. If we put each other first when we can, and understand in the times we can’t, I think that’s how we make things work between us. That’s how we show that we really love and understand one another.”
Shot was quiet for a long moment, and when he spoke his voice was full of raw sincerity. “We’re both new to this love thing, so we’re both bound to misstep here and there. We got time to figure it out, which I am so damn gratefu
l for.” He cleared his throat and dragged a hand down his face. “No more catching bullets. My heart can’t take it.”
I reached for his hand and closed my eyes as he laced our fingers together. I still hurt all over, but the spot in my chest where my heart was happily throbbing felt better than ever.
“Same to you. I’ll consider it a personal favor if you stop getting shot as well.”
“If I do that favor for you, you’ll owe me one.” There was a hint of humor in his tone, but I didn’t know how much longer I could keep my eyes open. Pain was starting to filter in through the drugs again, and sleeping through it seemed easier than trying to put on a brave face so he, and whoever else popped up at my bedside, wouldn’t worry.
“I owe you everything, Shot. I’ll make good for the rest of my life.”
Epilogue
Presley
Six months later
You look good, Pres. Are you sure you aren’t looking to get yourself into some trouble tonight?” Shot’s tone was teasing, but the look in his dark eyes was serious.
I looked at his reflection as he came up behind me in the mirror. He was always so ridiculously good-looking. Even with the stark white scar that now decorated his temple and made his hairline slightly uneven on one side. Even with the rough stubble shadowing his jaw because he’d been on the road with the club for the last few days and apparently shaving hadn’t been a priority. Even with the flakes of drywall dust and flecks of paint dotting his T-shirt from where he’d been helping me renovate the bathroom in my new house. Since he was a bathroom snob, I’d let him run wild with the design and fixtures. He was leaving his mark on other parts of the house, which I’d bought shortly after being discharged from the hospital. Like the way there were now jeans and T-shirts hanging next to my boring, professional work clothes in the newly expanded walk-in closets. And the way the master bathroom was unequivocally his baby and he wasn’t going to stop tinkering until it was perfect. He loved that damn bathroom almost as much as he loved me. There was also a shiny new outdoor kitchen off the back of the house that was perfect for big barbecues and gatherings. I was sure the stainless steel grill got used more than my top of the line oven inside the actual house since it was what he preferred to cook on.
We didn’t live together, per se. He still spent a good portion of his time out at the clubhouse, but when he didn’t have club business to attend to, or when he’d been gone for an extended period of time, he would show up on my doorstep and camp out at my place until he got called away again. All in all, it wasn’t too different from the way Hill and Kody’s relationship worked, only when Hill was gone Kody knew where he was and that he was trying to save the world. When Shot was gone, all I could do was hope he made it back in one piece and that he hadn’t put events in motion that were going to cause the world to burn. Honestly, I’d come to realize it was better if the club was raising hell as far away from Texas as possible. It meant our personal and professional lives were less likely to intersect. Shot mentioned the same thing and told me he was focusing more on the club’s international pursuits versus the ones closer to home. So while it was never fun to have him gone, welcoming him home had become one of my most favorite things in the whole world. I’d learned to let all the worries I had take a back seat and to appreciate the time we did have together, because it was impossible to guess when those precious moments might be stolen away from us.
Unconsciously, I lifted a hand to touch the scar that slashed across my own temple. It was nearly identical to his, only mine was a little more jagged and didn’t quite reach into my hairline. We’d gone from being so different and seemingly having nothing in common to sharing something permanent and unmissable that was going to tie us together forever. The scars felt more important than a wedding ring and more purposeful than any tattoo. They were a constant reminder of what we’d come so close to losing. They represented a start line and a finish line. They showed us that everything that mattered, everything that should be cherished, began and ended with us. Together we survived. Together we were better than we were apart.
I was no longer alone. I was no longer lonely.
“You know I won’t drink anything. I’m just going to spend time with the girls.” The kidney transplant had been touch and go for the first few months. For a few tense weeks, it seemed like my body might reject the donation. So once I was in the clear, I made sure to do whatever I could to take care of Crew’s generous gift. I wanted to be around for as long as possible, so giving up something frivolous like alcohol was no sacrifice.
Shot snorted and moved farther into the room. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rubbed his chin on my exposed shoulder. His stubble rasped against my skin and left a red mark, which I’m sure was the point. His fingers skimmed along the side of my stomach, reverently tracing the big scar hidden under the slinky fabric of my silver dress. Della insisted we dress up tonight, since the actual wedding had been such an informal affair.
As soon as I was out of the hospital and strong enough to travel, Della and Crew announced that instead of their cute country wedding with all the trappings getting pushed back once again, they were going to Vegas to elope. According to Della, the details no longer mattered—she just wanted to be Crew’s wife. The designer dress was left behind, and the groom ended up wearing jeans, boots, and his Stetson after all. The whole family attended, and they even invited Shot. It was fun and romantic, and so oddly fit the couple, but now that some time had passed, Della decided the one part of the traditional wedding she missed out on and wanted to make up for was the bachelorette party.
I think she was just looking for an excuse to get a very pregnant and very cranky Kody out of the house. As someone who was always in motion, always up to something and involved in everyone else’s business, being slowed down by her big belly and uncontrollable fatigue, as well as hounded by persistent nausea, had Kody ready to climb walls and ready to fight everyone. It was probably a good thing she’d convinced Hill not to quit the Rangers. We all wondered if he would’ve survived if he’d been home for the entire pregnancy. He’d taken leave the last couple of months so he could be there for Kody as her due date got closer and closer, and he’d definitely taken the brunt of her chronic bad mood. There was no doubt Hill loved my sister with every fiber of his being, because I had no doubt any other man would’ve ducked for cover and called a time-out long ago.
“You can’t drink. Kody can’t drink. Why don’t you guys go somewhere else other than a strip club?” His midnight eyebrows lifted questioningly as I blushed when his hands started slipping and sliding over the silky surface of my dress. The simplest touch from him still had heat crawling up my neck and into my cheeks, even though there was no part of my body he hadn’t claimed as his own. I belonged to him, heart, body, and soul, which could be very scary at times. However, he always reminded me that he belonged to me in the same way, and that took some of the fear away.
“The strip club was Kody’s idea. I think she assumed Della would balk and then she wouldn’t have to go.” But Della knew Kody well and called her bluff. So now we were all getting dressed up, heading to dinner, and then going to watch a bunch of oiled-up beefcakes shake their stuff. It wasn’t how I pictured spending the next girl’s night with everyone, but nowadays I was pretty much game for anything. Now that I’d gotten a second chance to live my life, I wasn’t going to do it with any hesitation. I was all about embracing new experiences and adventures. The unknown was no longer my enemy and biggest fear. Shot was the one who taught me that the best way to conquer the things I was most afraid of was by going out and experiencing them for myself. That included my fear of falling in love with him.
Loving Shot didn’t hurt nearly as much as facing the possibility I might not even get the chance to try. It was also less terrifying than thinking I might die having never been able to let him know just how much I cared about him. He was the first man I’d let push me out of my comfort zone, and now that I knew what it felt like to run
wild with him, I never wanted to go back to my safe and secure little bubble.
Turning in his arms, I put my hands on his shoulders and lifted up on my toes so I could kiss his chin. The stubble tickled my lips. I liked the way it made him look even more rakish. Almost like a modern-day pirate.
“I won’t be out too late. Trust me, I know what I have at home will always be better than anything else out there.” I grinned. “And I bet Case gave Aspen a curfew.”
Of course, I was kidding. There was no couple in existence who had a more balanced and equal relationship than Case and Aspen. However, ever since he popped the question and put a very big, very sparkly ring on her finger, his possessiveness had seemed to ramp up a few notches. It was almost like he was afraid she was going to remember what a jerk he’d been before they started dating and change her mind. Everyone who wasn’t the surly sheriff knew that would never happen, but it was good that Aspen kept Case on his toes.
Aspen hadn’t really been eager to remarry after her first marriage ended in disaster, but she’d become very fond of and deeply invested in one of the teenagers involved in one of her more complicated cases and was beyond frustrated that the court had declined her offer to foster the young man because she and Case weren’t officially married. It was a common prejudice that women faced in small-town America, and especially in the South. Knowing they were going to be together until the end regardless, Case decided it was time for both of them to take a second chance on marriage. It was just a bonus that they would be able to help out a kid in need once they did.
Shot snorted at my comment and let me walk him backward toward the king-sized bed in the center of the room. There were so many nice things about being in my own house. A luxury bathroom and a big bed were just a few. I also liked that I didn’t really have any close-by neighbors, which was beneficial when I suddenly had a gaggle of bikers over.
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