She turned to look at Suzume. It was Kazue.
47
Suzume stood in mute shock. Kazue turned, but she did not seem to see Suzume. Kazue walked down the hill and past Suzume before Suzume realized what she was seeing was not the living Kazue but a vision of the past.
The field they stood in was strewn with crimson flowers, which swayed in the breeze on long leafless stalks. The bright petals curled inward and were surrounded by thin tendrils, which flickered like flames as Kazue swept through them. Pollen clung to Kazue's red pants and sprinkled them with golden dust. Kazue, attired as a priestess with her white tunic top and red pants, stopped to pick a flower and rolled the long stem between her fingers. She looked up at the sky, as if waiting for something.
Then Suzume heard a rumble like the crash of thunder. Kazue smiled at the sky and Suzume followed her gaze. Kaito, in his dragon form, weaved through the clouds, his serpentine body disappearing behind clouds and reappearing moments later. He twisted through the sky before tilting down towards the ground at an incredible speed. Kazue laughed.
"Enough drama, come down here. I have something exciting to tell you!" Kazue rested her hand against the flat of her stomach.
Kaito came down at a sharp angle towards Kazue. Had it been Suzume, she would have turned the other way and ran. Before he could collide with Kazue, though, he transformed in midair and hit the ground. He rolled head over heels then popped up in front of Kazue. He threw his hands up in the air with a flourish.
Kazue clapped. "Very nice," she said with a roll of her eyes, but she was smiling all the while.
"I will not stand you rolling your eyes at me, Priestess."
She shrieked in reply and ran away from him. He ran after her and caught her easily enough. He gathered Kazue up in his arms by her waist. He swung her around as she giggled. Just seeing them together made Suzume's stomach twist with jealousy. She knew it was the past, but it might as well have been the Kaito she knew flaunting his love for Suzume's past life in front of her. Is Kazue trying to torture me? Why do I have to watch this sappy scene? When they were done kissing, Kaito set Kazue down on her feet.
"Now will you let me tell you my news?" Kazue said, eyes dancing. Her hair was a tangled halo around her head and a few crushed red petals clung to the strands.
"In a moment," Kaito said as he plucked a petal from her hair. "I want to drink in your body a bit longer." He nuzzled her neck and kissed it. Suzume had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. How much longer is this going to go on?
Kazue pushed him away gently. "First let me tell you what I was going to say."
Kaito nodded, but there was a smirk playing at the corner of his lips. Suzume knew that look, he was going to try something any moment. Kazue continued onward, ignoring Kaito's mischievous smirk. "You know we've been talking about the future—what we will do once I die…"
Kaito's smile faded and he frowned instead. "Kazue, we've talked about this a hundred times. I cannot make you immortal." He took a step away from Kazue. His shoulders were tense and Kazue's posture changed, she was tight and alert. I get the feeling this is an old argument—they're both ready to fight.
Kazue crossed her arms over her chest. For Suzume, it was like looking in the mirror. She herself had done that same thing hundreds of times, seeing Kazue do it was familiar, like déjà vu or a half-remembered song where the lyrics were lost but you still had the impression of the melody. Maybe we are more alike than I thought. Suzume took a moment to study Kazue. They did not look alike. Kazue's face was more round, with a bow-shaped mouth and petite nose. Her eyes were larger than Suzume's as well. We don't look much alike. At least I am prettier, Suzume thought with mild satisfaction.
"How can you stand to watch me wither away and die while you stay the same? Today I am young and beautiful, but what about ten years, twenty and thirty years from now? I will change and you will stay forever the same, unchanging… What then, will you love me when I am old and ugly?"
Kaito reached out to brush his hand against her cheek, but Kazue slapped his hand away and scowled at him.
Kaito was visibly angered. His brow creased and his mouth had white lines surrounding it. "Kazue, I love you, and I still will when you look like a pickled plum." He attempted a smile to coax her out of her sullen mood.
Kazue lowered her lashes. Her hand hovered over her stomach, but she did not rest it there. Instead she let her hands fall to her sides. "What about children? I always dreamed of becoming a mother."
He sighed. "It is forbidden, such a child could never live."
Tears gathered along Kazue's lashes. "Is that why you forced me to become a priestess? So you could have your way with me and never fear siring a child? I was married. I had a life prepared for me that I gave up for you, Kaito!"
He threw his hands up and Suzume involuntarily flinched, even though his anger was not directed at her. Kazue, however, held her ground. She looked at Kaito with a defiant lift of her chin. Once more echoing Suzume's own mannerisms.
Kaito huffed and then said, "Do you think I have not made sacrifices for you? I am laughed at by my equals and even my inferiors. They call me weak because a human woman has captured my heart. They say the great Dragon has been brought to his knees by a mortal! I risk losing my domain because I want to be with you." He tossed his hand in her direction.
"But if I were immortal…" she pleaded.
"No, Kazue." He spoke her name and thunderclouds rolled and shook the sky. She did not cower, which Suzume had to admit was admirable. She had been on the receiving end of Kaito's temper plenty of times. He sighed again. The clouds cleared away, revealing once more a bright day. He reached for Kazue again and this time she fell into his embrace. He buried his head in her hair as she clutched the fabric on his chest. "Can we not enjoy this time as we have it now? I do not want to think of a future without you, but if I must, I will find you in the next life and the next. We are meant for one another."
"You're right. I'm sorry, I will not mention it again," Kazue said. Suzume could see Kazue's expression. Suzmume had made that same face many times in her life. Kazue had made up her mind and she would not be dissuaded.
The field melted away and in its place, Suzume stood along the craggy surface of a mountain. The center of the mountain was cracked open like an egg and molten rock bubbled and hissed within. Someone walked along a narrow pathway between jagged rocks, a cloak pulled up over their head. Suzume knew her just from the way she walked, full of intent and power.
Suzume followed Kazue to her destination, which was a hut carved out of the volcanic rock. The door was painted bright red, and outside were scattered chunks of ore and metal. Kazue knocked on the door in a deliberate rhythm. The door swung open and revealed an old bent woman. The old woman lifted her head and revealed sockets devoid of eyes, with the lids sewn shut. Her long white hair dragged on the ground. Her large knobbly hands clutched at a hammer with an enormous iron head that was bigger than the old woman's head. She held it with ease.
"Who is it?" the old woman said. Her voice was reedy and high pitched.
"My name is Kazue. Please let me in, I was told you could help me."
The old woman sniffed noisily in Kazue's direction. "Very well, come in, Priestess." The old woman stepped aside to let Kazue in.
Suzume followed, slipping in just before the door closed. Inside, more bits of half-formed metal gathered in the corners of the room. Steam hung about the ceiling like a cloud, and at one end a large fireplace dominated a wall. Inside, Suzume could see red-hot coals burning and bubbling. Is she using the volcano to make weapons? Blacksmith tools were laid next to the bellows, an anvil, and metal forms where the swords were poured.
Kazue stood in the center of the room, looking out of place. The old woman moved some things around, shifting hunks of ore about. She would lift them up, sniff them, and either toss them back down or throw them into the flames of her forge.
"You've come looking for a weapon, I assume."
"Yes," Kaz
ue said. Her breath exhaled and with it was all the tension she had been holding in.
"Well, you've come to the right place. What sort of weapon, perhaps a sword? Or a bow and arrow? I have an arrow that is sure to hit the mark every time."
Kazue shook her head. "No, I am looking for a weapon that can channel my spiritual energy."
The old woman, who had been hobbling around the room, stopped. "Are you now?" She turned her sightless face to Kazue once more and took a deep breath.
"You're a human, but you've the stink of dragon on you. What does a priestess want with such a weapon?"
"There is something I must do. I need the weapon to do that."
The old woman tutted. "It will not be easy to make."
"Name your price. Whatever it is, I am willing to give it."
"I want a dragon scale."
Kazue sucked in a breath.
"Your dragon doesn't know you're here, does he?" the old woman said. She grinned and revealed rows of sharpened teeth.
Kazue looked at her hands, which she balled into fists. "No, he would disapprove if he knew."
The old woman cackled. "Mortals, I will never understand you. Well, that's my price, dearie. Bring me the scale and we can conclude our business."
"I will bring it to you. I will return within the week for my weapon; have it ready."
The old woman cackled as the vision faded.
Now Kazue paced back and forth in the same meadow as before. The flowers had withered and left behind only long leaves, which brushed against the hem of Kazue's robe. In her hand Kazue held the staff. It glimmered with gold markings worked along the shaft and near the handle. Suzume reached for the staff, but in this dream world she was unarmed. I wonder what the markings mean. Perhaps Kazue can tell me? If only I could reach her.
Kazue stopped pacing and looked to the sky. There was no more joyful anticipation. The sky overhead was a bleak gray. The rumble of Kaito's approach rippled through the meadow and the leaves trembled. Kazue set down the staff among the leaves and went back to the crest of the hill to wait for Kaito.
This time when Kaito landed there was no playful greeting. He was angry. His blue eyes sparked and the clouds overhead grew thicker and stronger. Thunder rumbled above as Kaito marched over to Kazue.
"Kazue, what have you done?" Kaito said with a snarl. "Did you not think I would find out about the scale, about the iron woman's deal? The moment you left, she sent word to me. How could you betray me like this?"
"Kaito, listen, I can explain—"
"No!" he shouted. His voice shook the sky and the ground trembled beneath his feet. Lightning flashed across the gray sky.
"I was a fool to trust you. The others were right, humans and immortals were never meant to mix. I should have known you would use me from the start."
She reached for him, but he slapped her hand away. She recoiled and pressed her injured hand to her mouth.
"Kaito, I was going to tell you about the scale once I finished. I found a way to solve all our problems."
He shook his head. "That's what you do not understand. There is no us any longer. You cannot deceive me and expect forgiveness."
"Kaito—"
"Silence!"
She took a step back. Though she looked ready to cry, she did not. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and took a few steps back towards where the staff was concealed.
Kaito saw her and took a few steps to stop her. "Kazue, I do not want to hurt you, but if you raise that weapon to me—"
"I'm sorry, I did not want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice." Kazue's voice cracked.
Kazue picked up the staff and twirled it in front of her. It blurred into a circle of brown and gold. She sang a high and clear note. As she sang, lights burst to life in a circle at Kaito's feet. The leaves of the flowers had hidden it from him until then. He looked down at his feet and noticed too late the circle drawn into the earth. He looked up at Kazue, his expression fierce.
"Kazue, how could you?"
Tears streamed down her face, but she continued to sing. The sound was melancholy and so beautiful that it hurt Suzume to listen. She felt Kazue's emotions, her fear for her unborn child growing in her womb. Her love for the man she was trapping with her spell, and most of all her guilt.
The lights spun around Kaito, slowly at first but gradually gaining speed and closing in on him little by little. He pressed against them, but touching them burned him. He howled like a wounded animal and cursed Kazue's name as the circle enveloped him, and when the spinning stopped, all that remained was a small round stone. Kazue fell to her knees. Rain burst from the clouds overhead and soaked Kazue to the skin.
"I promise you. I will release you as soon as I am immortal. Then you will understand and we will be together again."
The image faded and Suzume stood back in the cave, the stone in her hand. She stared at it for a moment. Now I see why Kaito was so angry when he woke up. I would be angry too.
"Now that you have seen what I have done, are you willing to listen, Suzume?"
Suzume turned slowly, uncertain at first, but then she saw her standing there. Kazue, not as she had seen her in her visions, but a statue made of red stone. Suzume's mouth was dry, and speaking proved difficult for a moment. At last she managed to reply. "I don't suppose I have much of a choice, do I?'
The apparition that was Kazue smiled. "No, not really."
48
"So," Suzume said. She was not sure where to begin. "I guess you're me in a past life?"
Kazue smiled; it looked strange coming from someone that was a bright hue of red. Even her teeth were red; it was like looking through colored glass. "I suppose you want an explanation as to why I showed you what I did," Kazue said in response.
Suzume looked down at the stone in her hand. It was warm. The inside flickered like a flame. It seemed to throb in her hand, as if she were holding a tiny heart. What I really want is to return to the life I had. I want to be revered and cared for, not tossed around and nearly killed at every turn. For some reason, it was difficult to get those words out. She was face to face with Kazue, who was the real-life embodiment of Suzume's past life, and after seeing what Kazue had gone through just to spend eternity with Kaito, even if her methods were a bit strange, it made her own wants look selfish and petty.
"I know you want to return to your former life, but that stone will not do that for you," Kazue said, seemingly reading Suzume's mind.
Suzume looked up in shock. "How do you know that?" she asked. I should have known Hisato would lie to me. He just wanted me to retrieve this stone.
"Because I am a part of you, Suzume. Or more accurately, you are a part of me," Kazue explained. She tilted her head as she regarded Suzume, her hands folded in front of her, resting on her stomach.
"Does that mean I can read your thoughts, or I can see your memories because I lived them in a past life?" Suzume stared at Kazue, trying to summon the memories of the past, just to prove she could. When nothing happened, she frowned.
Kazue chuckled. It was a delicate sound like the tinkling of bells. "No, you cannot summon the past, just as I cannot divine the future. We are two parts of one greater whole, but we are separate."
Suzume held up her hand. "Please spare me the poetry. I've had enough to last me a lifetime. What are you trying to say?"
"That you are not my reincarnation, but a broken piece of my soul is lodged inside yours."
"What?"
Kazue glided over to Suzume. Her footfalls made no sound. In fact, her feet did not even seem to touch the ground. Kazue placed her ruby hand over Suzume's chest. Suzume's heart raced. When Kazue touched her, she was not so much solid but more like vapor. She was warm like flames, but they did not burn Suzume.
"Inside you is a part of my soul, broken in my attempt to make myself immortal."
Suzume felt like a part of her was trying to break free; it was reaching for Kazue. She took a step back away from Suzume. The feeling lessened,
but it remained. There was an ache in her that she had never felt before, like there was a hole inside her that needed to be filled.
Suzume put her hand over her beating heart. It felt just the same as always, a reliable rhythm that told her she was alive. "Are you saying I am you? Not just your reincarnation but you-you?"
"No." Kazue shook her head. "You are Suzume. But a piece of my soul resides in you, more specifically, the flame of my soul."
"So you're possessing me?"
Kazue laughed genuinely, and it bounced off the walls and surrounded them. Suzume just glowered at her, feeling more confused than ever.
"Perhaps it would be easier if I started at the beginning. As you saw in the vision, I wanted more than anything to be immortal so that I could spend an eternity with Kaito. He was content to live our lives as they were, but as you have seen, immortals do not live their lives as we do. They have eternity, and brief human lives are beyond their comprehension. Twenty years to us is but a summer to them. So I feared, in my own vanity, that Kaito would leave me once time ravaged me and left me old and twisted. I assumed he would just tire of me one day and I had resolved myself to my fate, until I conceived our child. As you can imagine, the immortals forbid the offspring of these unions; they are considered an abomination and oftentimes they are killed in the crib. I refused to let that same fate fall upon our child. And so I resumed my search for a way to gain immortality."
"And did you find it?" Suzume asked. She was curious. She had never thought about what it would be like to live forever. But the idea of never dying or aging had its appeal.
"I did. There is an old spell that could make a human immortal, but it took much power to do it. More than any mortal could hope to have on their own."
"So you tried to convince Kaito to help you?"
Kazue looked away as if she were looking through time and remembering the things she had seen and done. "I did. We argued about it many times, and each time he was adamant that I would not become an immortal. He was convinced he would stay with me no matter what." She sighed. It seemed strange for an apparition to do since she had no breath to breathe. Maybe she does it out of habit.
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