Chapter 21
R hys was not one to panic easily, but as he alighted from his carriage in front of Ravenleighs house, he couldnt help but be alarmed. Lydias note had been delivered to him only a short while ago. It had simply stated she was not up to receiving gentlemen today.
What the deuce did that mean?
He had a strong suspicion that after her discovery the night beforethe bargain hed struck with Camilla in order to reap benefits on Lydiashed decided she no longer wanted to be the belle of London. She was too independent by half, too certain her love could withstand all things.
How tempted he was to put her to the test.
He strode through Ravenleighs doora man on a mission. It did not improve his disposition to see Lauren gliding down the stairs.
“Your Grace, I saw your carriage arrive. Is something amiss?
“Ive come to talk with Miss Westland. If you will please fetch her for me.
“I cant do that.
In the process of removing his gloves, he stilled. “Pardon?
“Shes not quite well.
“What do you mean shes not well?
Lauren blushed. “She simply wants to stay in bed.
“Is she fevered? he asked as he rushed past her and up the stairs.
“No, Your Grace.
“Is food not agreeing with her?
“I dont believe shes tried to eat.
“Breathing, then. Is she having difficulty breathing?
“No, Your Grace.
All sorts of images ran through his mind. Devastating illnesses. The air in London was not as fresh as the air in the country. He would return her to the country where she could breathe the purest of air.
He reached the hallway. “Which room is hers?
“Your Grace, this is entirely inappropriate
He spun around and pinned her with his most intimidating glare. “Which room?
She pointed to a nearby door.
He gave her a brusque nod. “Thank you.
He crossed over to it and flung it open without begging entrance. She was curled on her side on the bed. The only light was that which spilled in from the hallway, and yet he could still see that she was incredibly pale.
His throat tightened as he knelt beside the bed and took her limp hand in his. “Lydia?
Her eyes fluttered open, and she gave him a weak smile. “I sent you a note. Didnt you get it?
“It told me nothing. He brushed strands of hair from her brow. “Youre ill?
“No, not really. But neither am I with child.
He heard the disappointment in her soft voice, felt a stab of regret in his own heart. He slid his gaze to where he knew her hips were resting beneath the covers. “Its for the best, he said distractedly, unconvincingly.
He shifted his attention back to her. “Is it this bad for you every month?
He could see a little color returning to her cheeks.
“Not usually. I guess its just all the traveling and excitement. Im just worn out.
Nodding, he glanced toward the doorway where Lauren hovered. “Keep the door open. Fetch Lydia a cup of hot tea. Three teaspoons of sugar, half a teaspoon of cream, and two drops of lemon.
Lauren promptly left.
“You know exactly how I like my tea, Lydia said with wonder in her voice.
Lifting her hand, he pressed a kiss to her fingers. “I know a good many things about you.
“Did you know I go swimming in the nude?
His eyes widened as the image scalded his senses.
“In the creek back home, she added. “Everyone does.
“All I had at Harrington were a pond and some rivers.
“I wanted to be a lady so badly, Rhys.
“You are the finest lady I have ever known.
“A lady wouldnt have been distracted worrying about whether or not she was with child.
“I believe you are quite mistaken. I think a good many ladies worry about that very thing. Gentlemen can be persuasive when they set their minds to it, and most are adept at escaping chaperones now and then.
“I always thought my mother must have been mortified, because everyone in Fortune knew what had gone on between her and Grayson when they werent married. My father, John Westland, made no secret that it wasnt his baby she carried.
“You say that as though you no longer hold the same misgivings.
“Understanding now how badly it hurts to know Ill never have your childhellip;I would have gladly borne the shame of his birth and loved him all the more because he was yours.
Her declaration almost robbed him of speech. “You shall have children. Lots of children.
“But they wont be yours. You cant comprehend how much I love you, can you?
“I understand you cant possibly know how much you would come to loathe me.
“With all my heart, I believe youre wrong.
“Fortunately, I have not the courage or strength of conviction to test you.
“Id win.
And in the winning, shed eventually lose.
“Im totally confused, Lauren said.
She sat on the edge of Lydias bed while Lydia sipped her tea. Rhys had only recently left, after ensuring she would be well cared for.
“By what? Lydia asked.
“The Duke. My God, Lydia, you should have seen him. Nothing was going to keep him away from you. Absolutely nothing. I know it was inappropriate to allow him into your room, but he was like a man possessed. She leaned nearer. “Or a man madly in love.
“I know he cares for me, Lauren. I simply dont know how to convince him that Im willing to risk everything for him. When I opened my eyes and saw him here, I felt such gladness. I cant explain it. He touches something so deep inside of me. The gentlemen Ive met make me smile, make me feel happy, but Rhys manages to make me feel as though I could soar. She sighed. “Listen to me, prattling on like Sabrina.
“What are you going to do?
“I dont know. She took another sip of tea. “I suppose Ill simply have to fall in love with someone else.
“Do you think thats possible?
“I dont know, Lauren. But I dont want to think that Ill spend the remainder of my life this miserable, this disappointed.
Lydia much preferred being courted outdoors. She strolled through Hyde Park with her latest suitor. The lovely park seemed to be the place where everyone who was anyone happened to walk by.
Although she wasnt exactly certain she was being courted. Lord Sachse walked alongside her, very stately looking in his top hat.
Lady Sachse had arrived mid-afternoon and announced that a stroll through the park was in order. Rhys had consented, and so here they were, with him and his intended ambling along behind Lydia and her escort.
The park wasnt nearly as stuffy as the cluttered parlor where she constantly feared knocking something over and breaking it. She enjoyed the fresh air and the twittering of the birds in the trees. Life surrounded her here, and she could almost overlook her disappointment that she wasnt carrying Rhyss child, that he wouldnt set his intended aside for her.
“If I may speak boldly, Miss Westland, your heart does not seem to be in the husband hunt, Sachse said quietly.
She darted a quick glance over at him. “I had a vision of London with its balls and glitter. Sometimes I wish Id held on to the dream instead of touching the reality.
“I am a scholar, Miss Westland, more comfortable with my books. I certainly never expected to have such fortune land in my lap, as it were. I must confess that securing myself a wife so I may leave the glitter behind appeals to me greatly.
She angled her head thoughtfully. “So how is your wife hunt going?
“Not at all well, Im afraid.
Smiling, she patted his arm sympathetically. “I cant imagine why. Youre handsome, intelligent, enjoyable
“But I am not the Duke of Harrington.
She stumbled over her feet, and he quickly grabbed her elbow, helping her to balance herself.
“Im not sure I understand what you mean, she said, although she was afraid she knew exactly what hed meant.
He grinned. “I have an older sister, Nancy. She is a dear girl, Miss Westland. Beautiful, really. Like you. Although her outer appearance is appealing, it is her inner beauty radiating outward which truly makes her lovely to behold. You remind me of her.
She blushed. “Thank you for the compliment, my lord.
“You are most welcome. Although I must confess it is not your beauty which so much reminds me of her.
“My wit?
He shook his head, his grin growing. “Her husband is the homeliest fellow youll ever see.
Wide-eyed, Lydia stared at him, hardly knowing how to respond to so caustic a statement.
He tilted his head toward her. “Its true, Im afraid. No one in the family could believe it when this chap caught her attention, but my sister looks at him the way you look at the Duke, and her husband looks at her the way Harrington looks upon you.
She glanced away. “And how is that?
“As though no greater love existed.
She dared to meet his gaze. “Im certain youre mistaken.
“Im certain Im not.
“Youre impertinent.
He had the audacity to grin broadly. “It is my lack of breeding. I should probably apologize.
“Yes, I think you should.
“I would if I thought you were truly insulted. Now tell me if I have judged correctly.
“Harrington has announced his intention to take Lady Sachse as his wife, she reminded him succinctly.
“Indeed, he has.
They continued on. Lydia thought when she returned to Texas she would discuss with her family the possibility of setting aside some land for a park. They had an abundance of farmland where she could walk whenever she wanted, but she liked the idea of landscaping an area simply for the enjoyment of people to amble through.
Although here some people traveled by in carriages and others rode on horses. All were dressed in their finery as though on display. She supposed that was part of the reason Lady Sachse had suggested the stroll through the park.
“You know, Miss Westland, Lord Sachse began, and she looked over at him, “I have been pondering your situation, and it has occurred to me that the fastest way to bring a dog to heel is to yank on his leash.
Startled by his comment, she said, “I beg your pardon?
“I would very much like to offer myself to you in marriage.
As though hed anticipated that shed stumble again, hed already placed his hand beneath her elbow and was offering her support.
“What?
“I think we are well suited. Certainly you are beautiful and intelligent. I enjoy your company, and I think you enjoy mine.
She didnt know what to say. Shed always romanticized that her love would go down on one knee and whisper poetry before asking her to spend the remainder of her life with him.
“This is quite unexpected, my lord.
“You need not look so frightened. I dont think our marriage will come about.
She nodded. “Youre probably right. Rhys has managed to find fault with every gentleman who has called on me.
“He shant find fault with me. Lady Sachse will see to that. Although I suspect when faced with the reality of losing you, Harrington will step in and offer his own suit.
“What if Rhys doesnt come to heel as you suggested?
He shrugged. “Then I marry a very lovely lady with whom I think I would be quite happy.
She shook her head. “He wont marry me.
Reaching out, he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You did not see the way he watched you when we were at the concert. My dear Miss Westland, I believe he would die for you.
“Do stop scowling, Rhys. It doesnt become you, Camilla said, her hand resting on his arm.
Rhys concentrated on relaxing his facial musclesnot an easy task when Lydias laughter continued to float back toward him. What the deuce was Sachse saying to her that caused her such delight?
“Is there anything about me that you feel does become me? he asked drolly.
“Your title, she answered without hesitation.
He sighed heavily. “I have the impression that ours will be a cold marriage.
“Colder than you think. I shant be sharing your bed.
He snapped his head around. “Pardon?
She angled her chin slightly without meeting his gaze. “I have no objection to your finding your diversions elsewhere.
“I should hope not, if youre not willing. You cant be serious. Never? You have no plans whatsoever to ever share my bed?
She darted a quick glance up at him, coloring rising in her cheeks. “I have my reasons.
“Suppose you enlighten me.
“I have no desire to be compared against every other woman who has graced your bed.
“You placed them there, he reminded her. “Afraid your performance might fall short? Is that the reason you never visited my bed?
“My reasons are personal and have nothing whatsoever to do with you. We shall simply continue where we left off when Quentin, may he rest in hell, took his fall into the pond.
“I was not aware you knew Quentin well.
“There is much about me that you dont know. Its best if we keep it that way.
“Is there anything about you, anything that I dont know, that will come back to haunt Lydia?
“Of course not. But they are my secrets, and I prefer to keep them to myself.
He wasnt certain why a sense of foreboding came over him. He needed to see Lydia well situated, and then whatever his marriage to Camilla became, he would accept. After all, she had twice helped him when no one else would.
Chapter 22
T here were moments when Rhys wondered how he could possibly go through with his marriage to Camilla. He was fairly certain they would be happiest if they led completely separate lives. Shed already indicated that she would not object.
For him, time spent with Lydia was blissful torture. He hoarded every smile, laugh, and word like a miser. A portion of her that he could store away and take out in later years to reflect upon. How could every moment spent with her be both joyous and sorrowful?
He sat in his drawing room, a book of Shakespeares sonnets on his lap. Hed reread Hamlet earlier, before moving on to other reading. Hed imagined Lydias enjoyment as shed watched the play performed in Harrison Bainbridges saloon. He suspected shed been as overwhelmed there as shed been at the Royal Albert Hall. She took such joy in life. She held none of the cynicism so central to him.
He would hear of her from time to time, he was certain. Perhaps on rare occasion their paths would cross. And he would forever be left to reflect on what might have been had he not made such ghastly mistakes in his youth, had he possessed a stronger character.
He turned his attention back to Shakespeare. The man had been wise in all things. If only Rhys were half as knowledgeable, perhaps now he would not find himself facing years of loneliness. Even marriage to Camilla would not ease the ache in his heart. Rather he suspected it would only cause it to increase.
He glanced over as he heard the hushed entry of his butler. “Yes, Rawlings?
“A young lady has asked to see you, Your Grace.
His first thought was that Lydia was here, and his heart beat with the anticipation of seeing her. But Rawlings extending the silver tray with the card resting on it assured him it was more likely to be Camilla, although she was not prone to presenting him with her cards.
He lifted the card, read the name, and felt trepidation slice through him. Nodding, he rose to his feet. “Tell Lady Whithaven I will see her.
He straightened his clothes, retrieved his jacket from the chair where hed laid it earlier, and slipped it on. He combed his fingers through his hair and rubbed his chin. He was in dire need of a shave. He was certain the lady only wanted reassurances that he would hold her secret close. He thought it would behoove him to look reputable w
hen he gave such a promise.
She strolled into the room and stopped, as petite and lovely as ever. A footman closed the door behind her. Only then did she approach Rhys, her red-rimmed eyes roving over him. Shed obviously been weeping, and it pained him to have caused her any worry or concern.
He bowed. “My dear Countess.
She shook her head slightly as though caught in a dream. “I didnt know it was you.
“I never intended for you to know, but a situation arose which required I reveal myself.
She pressed her fingers to her lips while unshed tears welled in her eyes. “She said you were the kindest and gentlest of men.
“I am honored Lady Sachse spoke so highly of me, but I assure you
She shook her head vehemently, while more tears gathered and spilled onto her cheek. “Not Lady Sachse, she rasped. “My dear friend Annie.
Rhys thought his legs might buckle beneath him. “Annie?
“I didnt know you were Quentins brother. Until you attended our ball, I had no name to associate with you. I knew you only as Lady Sachses lover. I had no idea who you truly were. Now that I know, I am obligated to confess all. May I sit?
“By all means. A splendid idea, because he thought at any moment he would no longer be able to support himself. “May I offer you something to drink?
“Yes, please, she said as she sank into a chair near the one hed been sitting in earlier. “I would welcome strong spirits if you have them.
He had an intense craving for them as well.
“I have just the thing. He poured the last of his brothers whiskey into two glasses and handed her one. He cautioned, “Sip it. It burns and warms and brings a sense of peace.
“I fear nothing shall bring me peace.
But she did sip the whiskey, while he took a generous swallow. Hed come to favor the strong drink and had contemplated asking Grayson to send him more.
She set the glass on the table between them and eased up in the chair. “I am certain we must have met at Annies wedding, but I was newly taken with Geoffrey and hardly noticed anyone else.
“I must confess to remembering little of their wedding. I was sixteen and only in attendance because duty dictated. I made my escape as soon as it was allowed.
“Annie was most unhappy with Quentin. He had ratherhellip;morbid tastes. Her cheeks reddened. With a visibly shaking hand, she reached for her glass and took another sip of whiskey before setting it aside.
Love With a Scandalous Lord Page 24