by Marie Force
He leaned against the door frame as if he was afraid to step inside. “Hi.”
She drank in the sight of him, hungry for as much as she could get. “Hi.”
“Thanks for seeing me. How are you?”
She pushed back from her desk so he could see her huge belly. “Enormous and getting bigger every day.”
His eyes almost popped out of his head. “Does it hurt?”
She smiled at his reaction. “Just my back, which is killing me, and I have the lungs of a three-pack-a-day smoker since these guys are taking up all the room.” She patted her belly and told him the doctor had said everything was great at her last appointment. She didn’t add that she’d chosen not to find out the babies’ sexes, since she couldn’t bear to hear that news without him with her.
“You’ve never been more beautiful. You’re glowing.”
“Like a nuclear reactor,” she said with a dry chuckle.
He laughed.
“Do you want to sit for a minute?” She gestured to the chair next to her desk, and he came in, bringing his achingly familiar scent with him. “How are you?” Something about him was different, but she couldn’t say what.
“I’m hanging in there.” He told her what Clare had remembered.
“Oh, Jack. God… I’m so sorry. Poor Clare. What a terrible burden she carried all alone.”
“She was too afraid to tell anyone, even me. I felt so helpless and enraged when I heard it that I realized I could kill him if I had the chance.”
The hint of rage she’d seen in his eyes was the difference. “I don’t doubt it.” She wanted so badly to reach out to him that it took every ounce of willpower she had not to. “How is she now?”
“She’s working really hard on her therapy—all of it. Knowing what happened seems to have fueled her desire to get better and to not let him win.”
“Good for her. Kate told me Clare was able to attend her graduation.”
“It was her first time out of the hospital. Kate’s class asked her to sing, and Clare couldn’t believe how good she was.”
“Kate showed me her car, too,” Andi said with a smile. Kate had received a yellow Beetle.
He chuckled. “Maggie put in an order for a red one when her time comes.”
“Kate has become a big star around here. The guests love her.”
“She’s enjoying it so much. Thanks for giving her the opportunity.”
“I should be thanking her. My bar receipts are way up since she started.” Andi leaned her elbows on the desk to take some pressure off her back. “She told me what you agreed to let her do. It’s a wise move, Jack.”
“I hope so. The whole thing still freaks me out, but I guess I have to let her try it. I also have to work up the nerve to break the news to Clare that Kate’s not going to college.”
“If she’s heard Kate sing, I’m sure she’ll understand.”
After a moment of awkward silence, he looked up at her with those potent gray eyes. “What’ll we do about the babies, Andi? It’s all I think about. I promised you I’d never leave you alone, and now…”
His tortured expression almost undid her cool composure. “Can we talk about it later? I just can’t think about that right now.” It overwhelmed her to imagine being alone with three young children. Even though she knew he would help as much as he could, it wouldn’t be like they’d planned.
“I miss you so much.”
His words and the emotion behind them pierced her heart. “Don’t,” she said softly. “You’d better go.”
He stood to leave. “Will you promise to call me if you need anything? You have all my numbers.”
“I will.” She told him what he needed to hear but knew she never would.
Chapter 31
Andi was reviewing final plans for an upcoming wedding at the hotel when the phone rang. “Andrea Walsh,” she answered as she looked over the menu the bride had chosen.
“Yes, hello, this is Clare Harrington.”
The contract fluttered from Andi’s fingers and landed on the desktop. “Hello,” she said when she’d recovered her senses.
“I’m sorry to call you out of the blue this way, but I was wondering, could you maybe come by here to see me? I’d come there, but they’re not letting me venture out on my own yet.”
As her heart raced, Andi hesitated. “Of course. When would you like me to come?”
“The sadists they call therapists are done with me by three. Would four work?”
“Sure, that’s fine. I’ll be there.”
“Thank you,” Clare said and ended the call.
Andi sat back in her chair and wondered why Jack’s wife would want to see her, of all people.
“I guess I’ll find out soon enough,” she said and went back to the contract but gave up a few minutes later when she’d read the same sentence for the fourth time.
Andi enlisted one of the hotel’s drivers to take her into town. She’d given up driving when she couldn’t push the seat back any farther and still reach the pedals.
The driver pulled up to the front door of the rehabilitation center and promised to wait for her in the parking lot.
“Thank you, Tom.”
He held the door and gave her a hand out of the car. “My pleasure, Ms. Walsh. You take your time now.”
“Don’t have much choice there.”
Inside she asked for Clare at the reception desk.
The nurse pointed the way down a long hallway. “Last room on the right.”
“Figures,” Andi muttered as she waddled to the room and knocked on the door.
Clare called for her to come in.
On first glance, Andi decided Clare looked just as she had in the pictures around the house but seemed more fragile after everything she’d been through. Her hair was longer than in the photographs and was still a rich blonde. But it was her eyes that caught Andi’s attention. They were the same dazzling blue as Maggie’s and Kate’s. And just as Andi had been taken aback by Jill’s striking resemblance to Jack, she could see Kate just as plainly in her mother.
“Thank you for coming,” Clare said.
As Andi sat across from Clare, she hoped she’d be able to get herself out of the low chair. “It was no trouble.”
“Somehow I doubt that.”
Andi laughed in spite of the tension in the room. “I’m like a hot-air balloon these days.”
“When are you due?”
“September twentieth. Two months to go.”
“I’m sorry to drag you away from your work, but I wanted to meet you. I needed to meet you.” Clare looked down at her hands as if she were nervous after summoning the other woman in her husband’s life.
“I understand.”
“My daughters speak highly of you.”
“They’re wonderful girls. You should be very proud of them.”
“Maggie showed me some of her sign language. It’s impressive.”
Andi nodded in agreement. “She’s as good at it as I am. She’s been so great with my son, Eric. They all have.”
“My recovery has left you in a terrible spot, and for that I’m sorry.”
Astounded by Clare’s generosity, Andi said, “You have nothing to apologize for, Clare. I heard about what happened to you. I can’t imagine someone threatening my son like that. I’m glad to see you’re doing so well now.”
“I was up on crutches earlier today and even took a few steps.”
“That’s wonderful.” Andi paused, choosing her words carefully. “I know it must’ve been awfully difficult for you to hear about me and the babies. I want you to know you don’t need to worry about me. I won’t interfere with your family.”
“Jack will want to see the babies and your son.”
“I’d never stand in the way of that, but I won’t be lurking on the sidelines.”
Clare crooked an eyebrow. “Won’t you?”
“I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
“You’re in his heart, Andi. I
can see that in his stricken expression whenever your name is mentioned. You won’t be on the sidelines. You’ll be right in the middle of our lives.” Clare spoke frankly and apparently without malice.
“I’ve seen him once in three months, and it was for ten minutes. He wanted to know how I was feeling. I haven’t spoken to him other than to coordinate his visits with Eric. I’m hardly in the middle of his life.”
“You underestimate him if you think he can walk away from you and your children and go back to the life we had together like you never happened. That’s not who he is, but I probably don’t have to tell you that. Besides, the life we had is gone now anyway.”
“You don’t know that yet. You have to give it some time. Your family’s been through so much.” Andi didn’t know why she was trying to convince Clare to give her marriage a chance. It seemed like the right thing to do.
“I could give it from now until the end of time, but he won’t stop loving you, and every time he leaves my house to see your children, I’ll have to wonder if he’s coming home to me because he wants to or because he has to. I don’t want a husband who’s so loyal he’ll spend the rest of his life living with me because he promised he would when he’s in love with someone else. After all that’s happened to me, I want more out of the rest of my life than that.”
Andi’s racing heart slowed to a crawl. “What’re you saying, Clare?”
“I want what I had. But since I can’t have that now, I’m letting him go. Maybe you two will work things out. Maybe you won’t.” Clare shrugged. “I’m getting out of here in another month or two and going home. I have my girls, and someday maybe I’ll go back to work. I don’t know. I’ll be all right, though.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Andi said, flabbergasted.
“I’m glad you came and we had the chance to meet.”
“I am, too.” Andi struggled to her feet, overwhelmed by their conversation and Clare’s strength. “I wish we’d met under different circumstances. We might’ve been friends.” She extended a hand to Clare.
Clare took her hand and squeezed it before letting go. “Maybe someday we will be.”
“Take care of yourself, Clare.”
“You, too. Good luck with the delivery. I hope it goes smoothly for you.”
“Thank you.” Andi waved good-bye from the door and replayed their conversation on the long walk back to the car. Clare’s generosity had been astounding. Andi had expected Clare to insist she never see Jack again, and she would’ve understood that. The one thing she never could’ve imagined was Jack’s wife stepping aside. Andi’s heart gave a happy flutter at the thought that maybe, just maybe, there might still be a chance for her and Jack after all.
Clare was working on a simple needlepoint sampler the occupational therapist had given her when Jack arrived at her room. He stood in the doorway for a minute and watched her. “Look at you go,” he finally said.
“Oh, hi. Come in. I’m making a mess out of this.” Seeming frustrated, Clare pushed the needlepoint aside.
“You’ll get the hang of it again.”
“I was standing up on crutches today.”
“That’s so great. I can’t believe how far you’ve come in such a short time.”
“I’m feeling every muscle, believe me.”
“I’m sure you are. I got your message. I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner. I was working in Boston today and then got stuck in traffic on the way home. You said you wanted to see me?” He came to see her just about every evening lately, but she’d called to make sure he came that night.
“Have a seat.” She invited him to sit next to her on the small sofa and reached for his hand. “I have a theory,” she said with a smile.
“And what’s that?” He was relieved to see the Clare he’d once known reemerging little by little.
“Do you know why we stayed together all those years when it seemed like everyone we knew was splitting up?”
“I always thought it was because we loved each other,” he said, not sure what she was getting at.
“Yes, but it was also because neither of us ever wanted anyone or anything else. We were completely content with each other. That’s not the case anymore, is it?”
As her words sank in, he looked down at the floor. He couldn’t deny that when he lay awake, night after night, it wasn’t his wife he longed for but the dark-haired beauty who’d stolen his heart the first time he ever saw her.
“I met her today.”
His gaze whipped up to meet Clare’s. “You did? How?”
“I called her and asked her to come see me. I like her. I didn’t want to, but I do.”
As he tried to imagine Andi and Clare engaged in a civilized conversation, he remembered Jill once saying almost the same thing about Andi.
Clare took a deep breath. “It’s over for us, Jack.”
“But—”
She held up a hand to quiet him. “You aren’t to blame, and neither is she. The man who attacked me is the one to blame. I see that now. But we can’t change the simple truth that you love someone else, and since I won’t ask you to choose, I’m deciding for both of us. I’ve already contacted Coop and asked him to start the process,” she said, referring to their friend and attorney. “I’ll file, so no one can ever accuse you of leaving me for her. I won’t have anyone belittling what we had together by dragging you through the mud.”
“You had a busy day while I was in Boston,” he said, astounded. “So that’s it? That simple?”
“Not simple at all. It hurts like hell, but it’s the only thing I can do. I can’t spend the rest of my life with someone who wants to be somewhere else, even if you’d spend every day pretending otherwise if that’s what it took to do the right thing. I know you’d never leave me, so I’m leaving you.”
“Without even giving me a chance?”
“Would it matter? A year from now, will you feel differently about her?”
He shook his head as he realized she’d made up her mind. “What’ll we tell the girls?”
“The truth—that too much time has gone by, too much has happened, and we couldn’t go back. They’ll understand. They lived it.”
“I’ll take care of you. You know that, don’t you?”
“I know you will. All I want is the house and enough to pay the bills until I can get back to work. Jill and Kate will be in college. We can figure something out so Maggie spends time with both of us.”
“None of that’s a problem, but about Kate and college…” He’d put this conversation off long enough. “She’s not going this year.”
“What do you mean? Of course she is.”
“I’ve given her a year to focus on her music. She’s enormously talented. You saw for yourself at her graduation. She has one year from her eighteenth birthday to land a recording contract. If she doesn’t, she has to come home and go to college.”
“Come home from where?”
“Nashville.”
“I can’t believe you agreed to this! You know how I feel about them going to college!”
“Which is why I fought this at first. Then Jamie reminded me of what caused the terrible rift between my father and me. I didn’t speak to him for years because he didn’t understand that I needed to go my own way. I couldn’t let history repeat itself. I wouldn’t have been able to stand that with one of my kids. You weren’t here, and I had to decide. I hope you’ll respect my decision. She hasn’t applied anywhere, so it’s too late for September, anyway.”
“I guess we can give her a year,” she said, surprising him. “I’m not thrilled about it, but I remember how much your father hurt you. I don’t want that for our children any more than you do.”
“I appreciate that, and I know she will, too.”
“You should know that when I talked to Coop today, I told him everything—about Sam Turner and Andi and the babies. While I don’t care if anyone else does, I wanted him to understand why I’m doing this and why I want it done quickl
y.” She paused and looked up at him. “You’ll want to marry her before the babies are born.”
“Clare—”
She took his hand again. “Thank you for all you did to care for me while I was sick, for making sure I had the therapy that’s given me a chance to reclaim my life, for visiting and bringing flowers, and all the times you brought my girls to see me.”
She’d obviously been talking to Sally and the other nurses who’d cared for her.
“Thank you for all the wonderful years we had together. Let’s not have any regrets. We had a good run, but it’s over now.”
Filled with nothing but regret, he shook his head. “I never wanted us to end up this way, Clare.”
“I know.”
He reached out to hug her. “We’ll talk to the girls together tomorrow?”
She nodded.
“I’ll see you then.” He stood to leave. “You know where I am if you need anything, right? Ever?”
“Yes.”
Lingering at the door, he couldn’t bring himself to leave.
“It’s okay, Jack,” she said softly. “Go.”
When they gathered in Clare’s room the next day to break the news to the girls, Maggie was sad, but Jill and Kate were resigned. They were old enough to understand how much had happened while their mother was sick and could see how it was impossible for their parents to get back what they’d lost.
“Will you marry Andi, Dad?” Maggie asked, and all eyes turned to him.
“Would you mind if I did?”
“Would you, Mom?” Kate asked.
“If that’s what Dad wants, I wouldn’t object, honey. The one thing you have to remember is that even after everything our family’s been through, and now that Dad and I aren’t going to live together anymore, we’ll always love you guys. Nothing could ever change that.”
“Where will I live?” Maggie asked in a small voice.
“You and I will still live in our house, and I’m sure you’ll spend lots of time at Dad’s house, too,” Clare said.
“Where will you live, Dad?” Jill asked.
“I don’t know yet, but wherever I end up, there’ll be plenty of room for all of you,” he assured them, and they were satisfied.