by Beth Flynn
“I killed him. I’m responsible for him,” she bravely informed Jonas.
He shook his head. “I’m hauling him out to where he killed his buddy. I’ll safely dispose of them both. They’ll never be found. The tarp is only so I can pull him over the terrain. I don’t want to carry him the whole way. I’ll bring it back with me and burn it with the couch.”
She raised her chin. “Then I’ll go with you.”
“No.”
“Jonas, I have to do something,” she pleaded.
He walked over to her and pushed the glasses that were sliding down her nose back up where they belonged. “I know of something you can do. Think you can look through the shed and cabin and take an inventory of the different cleaning supplies and other liquids we have and come up with a concoction that will take the blood out of the wood flooring?”
She nodded.
“Without it looking like a spot that’s been cleaned?” he quickly added.
“Definitely,” she assured him.
That night they opted to skip dinner and since there was no longer a couch, had no choice but to lie on the bed as Lucy read from The Awakening. Her voice got shaky and Jonas realized she was on the verge of tears. He lifted the book out of her hands, removed the glasses from her face, and placed both on the nightstand. “I’m not really feeling this story, Lucy. How about we save it for another night?”
She looked up at him. “Do you want to read One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest again?”
He slowly shook his head. “C’mere, honey,” he said as he pulled her even closer to him. “I just want to hold you for a while. Is that okay with you?”
“Yes,” she whispered before stifling a sob and burying her face in his chest, where she cried herself to sleep.
Chapter 37
The next couple of days drifted by without event. They slipped back into their routine, the incident with the hunters safely scrubbed away along with the blood from the floorboards. Jonas realized that their thirty days were almost up. Lucy may not have been missed while people thought she was on a cruise, but they would certainly notice if she didn’t return from it. As much as he wanted more time with her away from the prying eyes of the world, he knew their time in the cabin was coming to an end. He felt a stab of guilt at the longing he’d been feeling in his groin. He’d never gone so long without a woman and couldn’t fathom where this newfound patience had come from. He knew she’d been traumatized and had to consider the possibility that being intimate with him was the furthest thing from her mind. He’d been wrong.
The morning heat had seeped its way into their bed when Jonas announced he was heading to the pond to cool off. Lucy decided to join him like she’d done many times before. The only difference being this time, instead of wearing her bra and panties or bathing suit, she shed her night clothes and waited for Jonas to notice her. He’d been under the water rinsing and when he came up for air, he had to blink twice to see if what he was seeing was real. She was a true vision. He stood up, the water level of the pond unable to hide the tip of his immediate erection. Lucy smiled shyly as he walked toward her and offered his hand. She took it and joined him in the water. The morning humidity was no rival for the heat that was turning the cool water to steam. Heat that was resonating from their bodies. He pulled her toward him and when his mouth claimed hers in a sharp, swift movement, it caused her to cry out with an urgency that had been waiting to reveal itself. Her legs wrapped around his waist as she rubbed herself against his erection. For one brief moment, Jonas wished he had more than two hands. He was suddenly impatient to explore every single inch of her all at once. But not in the pond.
“Lucy, not here, baby. I want to take you inside to the bedroom.”
She reluctantly untangled her limbs from around his waist and held his hand as they climbed out of the pond together.
Scoping out their surroundings, he asked, “Did you wear your glasses out here? Do we need to get them?”
“No,” she replied. “I left them inside. It’s a miracle I didn’t trip over something.”
Jonas led her up the front porch steps and once inside, picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, miraculously maneuvering them sideways through the narrow opening. Not bothering to dry themselves off, he placed her on the bed and lay on top of her, settling himself between her open and welcoming legs.
“I’ve wanted this, wanted you for so fucking long,” he muttered into her open mouth.
“Me too,” she answered breathlessly. “Me too, Jonas.”
He took his time, slowly making his way down her body, kissing every inch of exposed skin, only stopping at her breasts where her moans almost caused him to come. He took his time as he made his way down her stomach, treating her like a piece of art he was creating, a sculpture he was molding with the tenderest of touches. The sudden realization that he’d never taken his time with any woman came as a surprise. Then again, he told himself, he’d never wanted to savor a woman as much as he wanted to savor Lucy. Never wanted to please a woman as much as he wanted to please Lucy. Never wanted to taste a woman as much as he wanted to taste Lucy. He buried his face between her legs and managed to retain his pace as she arched her back and bucked against his mouth, creating the perfect rhythm between his tongue and her longing. He could tell that she was on the brink of an explosive orgasm when she cried, “I’m so glad you’re the first, Jonas. I’m so glad it’s you.”
So, he was the first man to go down on her. He couldn’t explain why the thought pleased him so much. He found himself smugly satisfied, knowing any lovers that came before him must’ve been totally lame. She screamed so loud he heard a flock of birds scatter and couldn’t conceal his mischievous grin as he made his way back up her body, his erection at the ready between her legs and pressed against her wet, and what felt like a very tight opening. He was about to push himself inside her when she took his face between her hands and said, “I don’t want you to worry about hurting me. I know the first time hurts and since I’m expecting it, it won’t be so bad.” She gazed at him with an innocence and trust that shattered him to his core.
Jonas was stunned. He couldn’t move. Damn, he could barely breathe. She was a virgin. Lucy was a virgin and he was going to be her first. Knowing that he was the first to go down on her had given him a jolt of misplaced pride. Realizing he would be the first man to make love to her was tantamount to being on the receiving end of a direct lightning strike. He sat up and rested on his haunches as his erection slowly subsided.
Lucy leaned up on her elbows and squinted. “What is it? What’s the matter?” she asked while reaching for her glasses on the nightstand. Reading his expression, she asked again, “What’s wrong?”
It was as if every emotion he’d had since first meeting her had been bottled up and the cap was pulsating with pressure. His years of longing for her. His fantasies of finding her. His plan to whisk her away to the cabin on the pretense of needing a tutor. Lying to make her think he just wanted to get to know her, when in fact, his goal was for her to fall in love with him. And here she was, giving herself to him. Wanting him to be her first. She was so damned good she was even letting him know it was okay if he hurt her. It came to him in a flash. Something he’d known all along but wouldn’t allow himself to acknowledge. His biggest fear was never about losing Lucy. It was about finally having Lucy and not being able to give her the future she deserved.
What happened next occupied all of ten seconds but felt like an eternity, as his tarnished soul waged battle with his heart. Lucy Renquest deserved better. In less than thirty days, Jonas had managed to turn her promising and safe world upside down. Since meeting him, she’d been introduced to the dark side of law enforcement, abducted, had her home invaded, and her belongings brought to an antiquated cabin in the middle of nowhere. And as if all of that wasn’t bad enough, bringing her to the cabin had put her in danger which resulted in her killing a man to save her own life. You’re a piece of shit, Jonas Brooks, he told himself. Al
ways have been, always will be.
Lucy deserved to be with a man who was worthy of her. Jonas then imagined that type of man, and it wasn’t a criminal who wore his illicit history tattooed on his face. She should be with a man who would be listening to Beethoven and reading Edgar Allan Poe or Emily Dickinson with her. Jonas had been awestruck but not surprised when she was able to quote The Raven and other works by famous poets. The best Jonas could give Lucy was a life with the likes of AC/DC and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. Not to mention that every time Lucy looked at his face, the teardrops would not only serve as a reminder of his crimes but now hers as well. He knew at that moment he had to let her go. There would be no room in her future for a man like him. And that’s when he felt it. That old fear rising up from the center of his being, causing his heart to pump faster as the adrenaline matched the awareness that his life would be misery without Lucy. The realization turned the fear into an uncontrollable and implacable anger. Anger that was now grinding inside him like gears. And he knew the only way to conquer it was in the most brutal way possible. He allowed a mask of indifference to land on his face as he removed himself from the bed. With his back to her, he reached for a pair of jeans.
“Jonas?” she cried. Jumping off the bed she ran up to him. “Jonas, did I do something wrong?”
He yanked up his jeans and while zipping them up, told her, “No, Lucy. You didn’t do anything wrong. As a matter of fact, you did everything perfect. Our time is almost up and I can read now, so we’re done here.”
“What?” she screamed.
“I told you I brought you here to get to know you. I got to know you. I really like you. But, you being a virgin?” He shook his head and gave a mirthless laugh. “Total game changer, sweetheart. I like my women with a little more experience, Lucy. If I’d known you were a virgin, I wouldn’t have bothered.” He looked her up and down before adding, “And frankly, you’re really not my type.”
She stood stock-still, completely nude, and with her fists clenched at her sides. “I don’t believe you. You’re lying.”
“And why would I lie?” he asked with a nasty sneer. “You obviously wanted me to fuck you and I could have if I’d really wanted to. But I don’t want to. Consider your orgasm a parting gift.”
The slap was swift and deserved but not unexpected.
“The angel on your motorcycle,” she accused through gritted teeth. “The image that was supposed to be my likeness? You went to all that trouble just to trick me into believing you’ve cared about me all these years?”
“It’s not your image. Never was you, so don’t flatter yourself, Lucy. It’s so unbecoming,” he said with a smirk as he walked out of the room, calling over his shoulder. “Pack up your shit. It’s time for me to take you home.”
Chapter 38
Jonas made a beeline for the refrigerator where he grabbed a six-pack and headed outside. He leaned against his truck and drank three beers so quickly he had to run behind a cluster of trees to throw up. He’d never had a problem holding his booze and knew the nausea wasn’t because of the rate at which he’d downed the beers. It was because of what he’d just done to Lucy. It’s for her own good, he told himself.
He heard the front door open and watched her walk to the outhouse. It wasn’t until she was back inside the cabin that he returned to his truck and resumed his original stance.
Lucy stood with her hands on her hips and gazed around the bedroom. She’d managed to pack up most of her belongings and was congratulating herself for not shedding any tears. She knew what he was doing and was pretty sure of why he was doing it. And instead of making her sad, it infuriated her.
She’d made the decision to leave the sheets, pillows, and bedspread. There was no way she wanted a reminder of the time they’d spent in that bed. Her alarm clock, library book, and the personal items Shasta had confiscated from her home were in her yellow smiley face tote bag. She’d emptied it of the materials she’d used for Jonas’ reading lessons. Those supplies now sat on the cooler in the front room along with One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
She marched out to the front porch, a suitcase in each hand, and her Sam and Sally dolls tucked beneath each arm. She caught Jonas in her peripheral vision leaning up against his truck. Ignoring him, she carried her things to her car and opened the hatchback.
Jonas casually sauntered over to her. “Did you forget that you no longer have a key?”
Slamming the trunk closed, she swung around and ignored his question. “I need to get my purse and tote bag.”
She left him standing by her car and quickly returned. After stowing her things on the passenger seat, she closed the door and approached him. “I know why you’re doing this, Jonas.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Oh, right. I forgot how smart you are, Dr. Renquest.” He used the fingers on both hands to emulate air quotes when emphasizing her title.
She raised her chin. “I don’t need a degree in psychology to understand what’s happening here, and I’m not going to waste my time explaining what you already know.”
Jonas raised an amused eyebrow.
“Let me tell you what else I’m not going to do, Jonas,” she continued. “I’m not going to leave here and wallow in misery because of your stubbornness. I’m not going to pine away by my front window watching for your motorcycle to turn down my street. You already know I had a tough time in high school. I don’t regret it because it served a higher purpose. It made me who I am today. Yes, you came to my rescue, or so you thought, at the restaurant. But, I was quite capable of rescuing myself from the likes of Artie Shaw. Just like I could’ve handled the guy at the drugstore. I’m not mad at you for doing this. I’m a little mad at myself for believing you were someone that you’re not. For allowing myself to get caught up in the knight in shining armor fantasy, when in fact, I didn’t need one. I was even willing to accept you and all your criminal baggage. So, it’s a good thing I found out what you really are before this went any further.”
“What I really am?” he laughed. “Do you think I don’t know what I really am?” He thrust his hands in his front pockets and rolled back on his heels. “I’ve heard it all, sweetheart,” he said with a curl of his lip. “Go ahead, you can say it. That is, if you have it in you,” he taunted. “So, what am I, Lucy? A son of a bitch, no good asshole womanizing motherfucking murdering bastard?”
“I’m sure you’re all those things, but that’s not what I was going to say.” She pushed her glasses up her nose and gave him a hard stare. “You’re a coward, Jonas. Nothing but a coward.” The comment left him speechless. Lucy climbed into her car and started the engine.
He stepped out of the way as she backed out and rolled down her window.
“You had a spare key hidden?” he asked.
She shook her head. “The second time I went in the pond, it slipped up between my toes. I’ve had it for weeks. I could’ve left a long time ago, Jonas.”
“Yeah, right,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Could’ve left but wouldn’t have gotten far since you’d never find your way out of here. Wait while I get my keys and you can follow me out.”
“That won’t be necessary. I told you how I memorized a series of one hundred and ninety numbers when I was four years old. And how I could recite the alphabet backwards when I was just three. Did you really think I wouldn’t remember how to find my way out of here?” She shook her head while giving him a condescending look. “Like I said, I could’ve left you a long time ago.” She shifted the little car into drive. “And don’t bother following me because you want to play the chivalrous knight again. Besides, you won’t find your keys.”
Jonas glanced toward the pond. “Let me guess,” he said with a mocking grin, “you’ve tossed my keys in the pond. How original. I’ll find them in less than ten minutes. Couldn’t come up with something more creative, Dr. Renquest?”
Lucy pasted on a fake smile. “Let’s just say I didn’t visit the outhouse this morning only
to relieve myself. Happy hunting, Jonas.” With that, she pressed on the gas, and refusing to look in the rearview mirror, headed for home.
The anger had worn off about twenty minutes into her drive. She didn’t allow the tears to come until after she was on the highway. And even then she tried to stifle them, convincing herself that she knew what he was doing and why he was doing it. And not wanting to face the reality that maybe he was right.
She looked at her watch. It was twenty minutes to twelve. She recalled the hunter’s ominous threat. You’ll be dead before noon. The man had been right. He’d just gotten the day wrong.
Chapter 39
The next month flew by faster than Lucy could’ve imagined. She approached her college schedule with a passion like never before. She’d made a last-minute decision to add more classes, enabling her to receive a third master’s degree before the end of the year. She’d already earned her PhD and didn’t need another degree. But like she’d reminded herself at the cabin, school had been her safety zone. I’ll be finished with school for good, she’d told herself. It was time to move on and step out into the real world. Which was why she’d accepted a position with a prestigious and groundbreaking firm starting the second week of the new year. They’d offered her a satellite office at a nearby university, but she refused, instead opting to move to Atlanta, Georgia. Away from South Florida. Away from him.
She sipped an iced tea from her back porch, and after scanning her completed assignments, allowed herself a moment to reflect on the past thirty days.
Within a few days of Jonas’ rejection, her car had been stolen from her driveway. She found it interesting that the thief had been considerate enough to remove all of her personal items and leave them in a paper bag by the front door. And she was certain it was no coincidence that Officer Bruce Miller responded to her call when she reported it stolen. Or that a brand new shiny BMW showed up in her driveway before the end of the day. She showed her gratitude by driving to Lenny’s dorm. “Don’t ask me any details, Lenny,” she’d insisted when he stood dumbfounded and handed her the keys to his used and neglected station wagon. “Just enjoy the ride. Okay, brother?” she asked while placing the key to the BMW in his palm. If Jonas thought he could assuage his guilt by buying her a new car, he had another thing coming.