by Beth Flynn
Lucy had been sitting up in bed, reading a medical journal. She closed it and peered up at her husband. “I disagree wholeheartedly. It’s good for him to stay busy. By exposing him to different activities, we’re encouraging him to find a passion that will prevent him from getting into trouble when he becomes a bored teenager.”
“He’s only five, Lucy!” Jonas tossed the towel he’d been using to dry his hair. “Why can’t you just admit it? You’re trying to prevent him from becoming me.”
“That’s not true,” Lucy rebutted while placing a hand to her chest. “I’m trying to tap into something he can wholly embrace and maybe carry through into adulthood.”
Jonas sank down to the edge of the bed. “You’re overdoing it and pushing too hard. He doesn’t need to play every sport during every season. He doesn’t need to be a Boy Scout and part of the junior Engineering club. Should I keep going?”
“He loves all of those things,” she countered.
Jonas gave her a knowing glance. “Does he?”
“He’s good at all of them, Jonas.”
“Baby, just because he’s a natural athlete and can build a fire from scratch or assemble an erector set the quickest doesn’t mean he loves doing those things.”
Lucy stared at the hands she was clasping tightly in her lap. “I guess I’ve been…”
Jonas reached for them, his one hand swallowing both of hers. “Like I said, I know what you’ve been doing and why you’ve been doing it.”
She gave him a sad smile. “You’re right. I’m so desperate for him to find that one thing that might dissuade him from getting into trouble that I’m not letting him enjoy his childhood. I’m so sorry, Jonas.”
Jonas discarded the towel from around his waist and scooted closer to Lucy. After removing her glasses, he folded them and placed them on the nightstand. “Apology accepted, wife,” he said while pressing his lips against her neck.
“Your mouth is so hot, Jonas,” she said with a moan.
He stopped kissing her throat only long enough to pull the nightgown over her head. After throwing it to the side, he laid her back and started working his way down her body. “That’s because after all these years, I still only burn for you, Lucy.” Another loud moan escaped her lips before he added, “And I always will.”
Three days later, it was Lucy’s turn to express her frustration. Jonas had come home with fourteen stitches in his face. She’d been setting the table for dinner and with both hands on her hips, asked, “Where have you been?”
“Doing some collections for Anthony.”
“What happened to your face?”
Jonas shrugged her off and walked toward the refrigerator. “It’s nothing,” he said while reaching inside for a drink. It was the wrong thing to say and he knew it. His nonchalance landed in their bright kitchen like an anvil. It was in stark contrast to the yellow light that was alive with weightless dust particles.
By the time he closed the refrigerator door, she was at his side. “It’s not nothing, Jonas.
He glanced sideways at her and tried to make a joke. “You should see the other guys.”
“Not funny. And what do you mean by guys? How many were there this time?”
He gave a sarcastic laugh. “Does it matter?” When she didn’t comment, he told her, “It was only three. And one got lucky with a cue stick.” He snorted. “If you think I’d let one guy do this to me, then you don’t know me as well as you think you do, wife.”
She ran an exasperated hand through her hair and stared into his eyes. “Of course I know you, Jonas. Better than anyone. I guess I thought things were slowing down with your side work for Anthony.”
He turned his back on her and stared out the kitchen window. “Sometimes I can’t help myself, Lucy. Besides,” he added with a cynical laugh, “a man like me trying to avoid physical violence would be like your CPA friend, Brad, trying to avoid a calculator.”
“But you’re telling me you started it. Again. So it wasn’t just about collecting the debt for Anthony. You deliberately picked another fight.” They weren’t questions but statements and Lucy didn’t voice the real reason behind Jonas’ antagonist actions, but it had been the topic of many discussions since they’d had Isaac. The words weren’t spoken now, but they were definitely there. Jonas had no ongoing resentment concerning the bias he and Marty had encountered when he was a child, but witnessing its mostly subtle indignities on his own child was altogether different. He struggled more than he cared to admit not to lash out at every comment, disapproving glance, or questionable gaze from everyone—from well-meaning but ignorant coaches and teachers to downright rude strangers. Instead, he took out his pent-up rage on the criminals he still continued to deal with via club business.
When he didn’t offer a reply, she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “I just can’t imagine what I would do if you came home with more serious injuries. Or worse yet, if you didn’t come home at all.”
“That’s not going to happen, sweetheart,” he assured her.
“But it can happen,” Lucy insisted. “And it’s a fear I carry with me all the time. You have Isaac to consider now. Not just me.”
She reluctantly let go of his waist when he turned around to face her. She leaned into him and fiddled with one of his long cornrows while she waited for his reply. She’d finally convinced him to sit still long enough to have his hair braided.
His voice was gruffer than he’d intended. “I already said it won’t.” Though he knew she wasn’t convinced, he saw a measure of relief in her eyes.
“Good. Because if I’ve never said it before, I’m saying it now. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, husband.”
There was a pause before he replied matter-of-factly, “I guess that’s just more incentive for me to try not to be such a brutal asshole.”
She let go of his hair and pressing even closer into his hard chest, gazed up at him. “Why is that?”
Lucy couldn’t be sure but thought Jonas choked up a little when he replied, “Because I’ve never been anybody’s best anything.”
Epilogue
Five Years Later
Like every year since Jonas reestablished a relationship with his stepmother, Marty was there for his birthday, which fell close to Mother’s Day. Celebrating both had become a family tradition since Isaac had been born. And she always returned for Isaac’s birthday in August, as well as a few other holidays. Marty’s husband, Arthur, chose to skip this particular trip due to an arthritic flare-up but promised to make the next one. Lucy couldn’t have been more thrilled to have in-laws who doted on their only grandchild. Even Jonas couldn’t help but admit how nice it was to be part of a family. Thanks to Marty’s huge and forgiving heart, they were now enjoying the relationship they could’ve been having all along.
This year, they were celebrating Jonas’ birthday and Mother’s Day with a barbecue at Anthony and Christy Bear’s sprawling ranch house. Less than a year after Lucy had Isaac, Christy had given birth to their second son, Christian. Christian was the spitting image of his father, whereas their first child, Slade, favored Christy.
Lucy and Christy were having a moment to themselves in the kitchen where Lucy was pulling a casserole she’d brought out of the oven. Anthony was handling the grill outside while Christy used the microwave to heat food she’d ordered from a caterer.
Staring out the window, Lucy couldn’t help but admire Christy’s tall, dark, and handsome husband. “I still think Anthony could do a shampoo commercial, Christy. Having black silky hair all the way down to his waist could put all of those shampoo models out of work.” She leaned closer to the window. “And it looks like Christian is following in his father’s footsteps.”
Christy walked up next to her and followed her gaze as they watched Isaac and Christian running toward the back side of the Bear property. Christian’s long braid swayed between his shoulder blades as he ran. “Yeah, hopefully only in the looks department.
Unfortunately, I’m afraid he’s developed a heck of a temper that gets him in trouble more often than not. I’ve already told Anthony that Christian is a chaos machine. He’s into everything, Lucy.” Christy placed a hand on her pregnant belly. “I only hope Daisy is an easy baby since Christian requires so much attention.” Christy had recently shared they’d found out their baby was a girl and they were naming her Daisy. After taking a moment to stretch her achy back, Christy offered, “Hopefully, you won’t have the same issues with Isaac.”
“So far, so good,” Lucy said with a relieved tone.
“That’s good to hear because you’ll definitely have issues with him when it comes to women.”
Lucy couldn’t suppress a giggle before she replied, “You noticed?”
“Oh yeah,” Christy said. “When I took them to McDonald’s last week, you should’ve seen the girls batting their eyelashes and practically doing cartwheels to get Isaac’s attention. If it’s this noticeable at ten, I can’t imagine what it’ll be like when he hits his teens. You think Anthony could be a shampoo model? Maybe you should think about signing Isaac with an agency.”
Shaking her head, Lucy shot back teasingly, “No way. Modeling might require him to sit still for five minutes and he is way too energetic for that.” Changing the subject, Lucy nodded her head in the direction of Anthony’s study where earlier she’d seen the Bears’ oldest son, Slade, engrossed in a book. “Slade seems to have a really good head on his shoulders. I’ve never known thirteen-year-olds to be so studious. Except for my brother when we were that age.”
“Right?” Christy countered. “And are you ready for this? He just told us he wants to be a prosecutor so he can put criminals behind bars.” She shook her head ruefully. “I can’t even begin to fathom what I would do if he has to prosecute a case involving his father, or worse, his younger brother, one day.”
Lucy lightly touched Christy’s shoulder. “That’ll never happen, Christy.” A beat passed before she asked, “Is it true you might move to the other coast? I heard Anthony mentioning to Marty earlier you’re thinking about moving away from Naples.”
“You mean away from Anthony and all his criminal activities?” Christy brushed a hand through her blond tresses. “I hope so, Lucy. We’ve talked about it. Maybe one day.”
Marty picked that moment to peek her head around the corner. “Do you young ladies need any help in here?”
Lucy smiled at her mother-in-law lovingly. “We’re good for now, Marty. We’ll let you know when we need help carrying everything out.”
Marty started to walk away but stopped. “When will Jonas be here?”
Lucy looked at her watch before answering. “Hopefully soon. He said he had an errand to run but didn’t tell me what it was.”
Marty didn’t appear surprised. “Yeah, he told me that too. I’ll leave you two to it. Holler when you need me,” she called over her shoulder.
Christy glanced at her friend. “So after all this time, the Centers for Disease Control finally convinced you to work for them. How is that working out?”
Lucy grinned. “It’s perfect. It was the right decision.”
“Do you regret not accepting their offer all those years ago?”
Shaking her head, Lucy replied, “Not at all. I’ve had a good career and learned a lot along the way. I feel like I’m offering them a better, more experienced version of myself.”
The two friends resumed their preparations and were startled by a commotion in the backyard. They both looked out the window and saw Anthony roughly dragging Christian by the arm. Christian batted at his father’s tight grip, but the ten-year-old was no match for his six foot six father who was storming back toward the house while Isaac followed behind them.
Christy laid down a plate and muttered, “What did he do now?”
As both women ran outside, they could hear Anthony growling, “Did you think I wouldn’t hear it?”
“Hear what?” Christy asked. She was the one with the supersonic hearing and she hadn’t heard anything. Then again, she’d been inside with the windows closed, the air-conditioner humming, and chatting away with Lucy.
“The motorcycle!” Isaac piped in excitedly. “Christian was showing me his new motorcycle. He said he got it for some girl named Mimi.”
“Not another one,” Christy cried. “Anthony, did he steal another motorcycle?”
Anthony’s face was grim. “Yes, he did. And he thought he hid this one far enough away that when he started it up for Isaac, we wouldn’t hear it.”
Christy’s countenance wilted before she whispered to her friend, “Like I said before, Lucy. Chaos machine.”
“Is Isaac referring to Grizz and Kit’s daughter?” Lucy asked wide-eyed. “I mean Grizz and Ginny?” Even though she’d never actually met them, Lucy knew the story. The woman she’d seen that day in the black Corvette no longer went by Kit and was now married to another man. And Grizz was currently sitting on death row.
Christy gave a frustrated nod and whispered, “Yes, although Mimi doesn’t know Grizz is her father and probably never will. This is the second one Christian has stolen to try and impress her. The last time Ginny brought Mimi over for a visit, the police showed up looking for a stolen bike. And of course, they found it on our property.” She then stared at her son and, with sadness in her eyes, told Lucy, “I don’t have the heart to tell Christian that Ginny had to cancel their next visit.”
Lucy gave Christy an understanding pat on the back before walking away. “I’ll go inside and finish up in the kitchen.”
Marty had just walked up and called to her grandson, “Isaac, you need to give me a tour of this property. C’mon. Let’s give this family a few minutes of privacy.”
Lucy had resumed her kitchen duties when she heard Jonas’ motorcycle. He’d missed all the drama but would be just in time for food. He found her waiting for him in the kitchen. Her shoulders slumped, her smile turned upside down, and her heart sank all in the same instant. Lucy swallowed the lump in her throat before asking, “That was the errand you had to run before coming here?” She twisted the dishrag she’d been holding into a tight knot. “You got a new teardrop.”
“You noticed.”
“How could I not? You told me all those years ago you didn’t have enough room on your face for all the men you’ve killed, so you stopped getting them.” She turned her back on him and walked to the sink. “I stupidly thought you continued not getting them after marrying me because you had a change of heart. I guess I was wrong.” Her voice was laced with agony when she whispered, “I can’t believe you recently killed someone, Jonas.”
He walked up behind her and kissed her neck. “Well, I did.”
She shrugged him off and spun around to face him. “Don’t tell me more. I don’t think I can stand to hear it. I’ve felt like we’ve come so far. And now this.” Lucy was referring to the years that had passed since he’d come home with bruises, stitches, and even a bullet. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d been arrested or had been in a fight so bad it required medical attention. There was no denying he was still the same self-assured alpha biker she’d fallen in love with, but her misplaced hope had allowed her to naïvely believe he’d toned it down significantly over the past few years. Her faith in that hope disintegrated as quickly as a sandcastle slammed with a wave.
“Don’t you at least want to know his name? I mean, he must be pretty important if I decided to memorialize his death on my face.”
Lucy’s jaw tightened as she stared into her husband’s dark eyes. “Honestly? No. I don’t want to know his name. But every time I turn on the news or open a newspaper and see some person who’s been murdered or is missing, I’ll wonder if it’s because of you. So just go ahead and tell me.”
Taking her face between his hands he leaned his forehead against hers. “Jonas Brooks. I killed Jonas Brooks today.”
Lucy pulled back, her confusion evident. “You killed a man named Jonas Brooks?” she asked incredulousl
y.
“Not literally. I’m symbolically showing you I’m killing the man I used to be. The outward man. Not the one you said you fell in love with who lives in here.” He picked up her hand and placed it against his heart. “What I’m trying to tell you is that I’m making a deliberate effort to try and stop myself from doing the things I used to do. For you. For Isaac. For our family.” A moment passed. “I’ve always thought in my heart that you deserved a better man than me, Lucy. It may have taken years, but I’ve finally realized it’s time for me to be that man.”
She blinked back tears while remembering her earlier conversation with Christy. “I would love to believe you’re doing this for me. For Isaac. But considering Christy just told me they’re thinking about moving to the east coast to get away from the club, I can’t help but think you’re doing it because Anthony is leaving. And without him, without the club…” The words died off as tears trickled down her cheeks.
“No,” Jonas insisted while once again taking her face in his hands. “It’s just the opposite. I told Anthony I wanted to be done. It was after my conversation with him that he admitted he knew it was something that would make Christy happy too. He said if I changed my mind, I could take over his club if and when they made their move. I told him that wouldn’t be happening, Lucy.”
“Jonas.” She started to cry harder even as she smiled at him. “I remember you telling me once that even though I didn’t expect you to change, you’d hoped maybe someday you could.”
He nodded. “You’re remembering correctly, baby. I did say that.” He swiped the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. “Do you know what today is, wife?”
He could see the mental calculus playing out behind her magnified and tear-rimmed eyes. She was trying to remember an important date. Perhaps an anniversary or a special occasion other than the ones they were celebrating today with the Bears. She finally sniffled and admitted, “No. I don’t know what today is.”