Falling, Freestyle

by Arend, Vivian

Jack sighed, his exasperation clear. “Look, you think we should ask her to join us in the sack for the rest of the week? The month? How long you going to drag this out, Kane? She’s not a toy for us to play with.”

  “Don’t be a shithead. I know that. That’s not what I’m suggesting at all.”

  “What, you enjoyed being naked around me so much you want to keep that part of it up?”

  Kane clutched the steering wheel. “It wasn’t so bad. I can handle it.”

  Jack snorted in derision. “I noticed. I think you more than handled it. In fact, it felt fucking good when we were both inside her. I felt every move you made. Did that turn you on, Kane? Our dicks basically rubbing against each other?”

  Kane shot a quick glare at his friend. “Now you’re just trying to piss me off.”

  “Answer the question.”

  Bloody bastard. “It didn’t bug me, okay? That was the hottest thing I’ve ever done, and it was because it was Dara, and it was you. My two best damn friends in the whole world. If that makes me gay, so be it. There. I was honest. Now, let’s hear your confession. You thought the whole weekend rocked, and if there was one thing you’d beg for, it would be for this to be our real life.”

  “Real life? You’re insane. People don’t live in trios. People don’t set up houses with two guys and girl, not without a lot of shit down the road.”

  Kane zipped his mouth shut and concentrated on driving for a while. The snow flashed by in sheets, and he had to slow to barely moving to keep on the curvy road. They were obviously at an impasse. For now, getting Jack to admit anything was futile. Stubborn asshole. It was part of the reason they’d always gotten along so well—Kane knew when to shut up and when to push.

  This was shut-up time. Jack wasn’t ready to listen to reason.

  Kane laughed softly at himself. Reason. Really? Somehow in the past thirty minutes he’d come to the conclusion that being with Dara and Jack was a good, scratch that, a fucking fantastic idea.

  By the time they arrived home, his eyes were itchy from staring through the increasingly whiteout conditions. Jack woke Dara, her lazy stretch and innocent cuddles as she slowly came awake stirring something inside Kane. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure Dara was happy even if Jack did say no to continuing the relationship.

  They carried in their equipment and bags, ending up in Dara’s one-bedroom apartment on the final trip. She stepped away from her pile of gear and glanced at them, her hands twisting together.

  “So I guess that’s it.”

  Kane cleared his throat. “Awesome trip.”

  Dara nodded quickly. “We’ve never had better conditions, have we?” She took a big breath and held it, biting her bottom lip, and Kane wanted to race over and hold her against him. Wanted to pull her lip from between her teeth and kiss the reddened surface.

  Her eyes widened as Jack turned to go, panic flashing across her face.

  “I have a confession to make,” she blurted out.

  Jack paused, running a hand through his hair as he turned back. He gave Kane a dirty look. “Seems to be the day for it. What’s up, sweetheart?”

  “I heard you. Talking about me.”

  “What?” Good Lord, had she heard them in the truck on the way home?

  “A few weeks ago. I overheard both of you saying you were interested in me.”

  Jack frowned. “You heard us?”

  She nodded. “I…I thought that if…maybe. Oh damn it, I thought sex would make it easier.”

  Kane’s stomach fell. “Did you suggest the ménage for our sakes? Jesus, that’s fucked up. Why would you sleep with us if you didn’t want to in the first place?”

  Dara shook her head rapidly. “No, no. That’s not what I meant, Kane. I wanted you.” She glanced at Jack. “Only I wanted you both, and I thought that if I arranged to get more physical with you I could figure out if I wanted one of you more.”

  Jack stiffened, his whole body bunched up tight. “And did it work?”

  She shook her head. “I thought I could help the situation, but I think I’ve made a terrible mistake. The past few days have only made it clearer that I don’t want to choose between you. I don’t want to be with you, Jack, not if Kane’s not around. And I can’t see loving Kane alone—I’d miss you terribly.”

  Kane’s heart turned over. Holy shit, she was suggesting the same thing he’d been leaning toward. He stepped forward but Jack beat him to her.

  Jack took her hands in his, lifting one to his lips and kissing her knuckles gently. He let out a huge sigh. “I’m glad that the ménage was something you really did want, but you’re right—in a way it was a mistake. It was a fantasy, and I was more than happy to help you spread your wings, but it isn’t something that can continue for the rest of our lives.”

  “Why not?” Dara’s voice quivered, soft in the hushed air.

  “Why not? That’s an easy question to answer. For how long, Dara? How long do the three of us set up house together? I can see it working for fun, for a short term, but if you overheard us talking did you hear the part about trying for forever?”

  “Forever?” Her eyes were huge, moisture filling them. Kane moved closer.

  “Yeah, as in marriage, get a dog, have a few kids. How do you think that would work with three partners?”

  “I don’t know, but I’m willing to try.”

  Jack dropped her hands. “I’m not.”

  He spun and grabbed his bag from the floor. Utter misery painted Dara’s expression, and Kane wrapped an arm around her as he called after Jack’s retreating back. “I never figured you as a quitter.”

  Jack stopped short of the door. He pivoted and glared at Kane. “I’m not a quitter, I’m a realist. Damn it, am I the only responsible adult in this room?”

  Before had been time to shut up, now was time to push. Kane goaded him again. “You want this, Jack. Admit it. You’d like to say screw it to the conventions around us and be with Dara and me because it’s the best damn thing you’ve ever had in your life.”

  “Fuck it.” Jack growled. “Fine, I’ll admit it. I want to be with Dara so bad my brain aches. And I’d be lost without my best friend. But just because I want a thing, doesn’t mean I can have it. What you’re suggesting is impractical.”

  “If we don’t try, we’ll never know,” Dara whispered.

  Jack shook his head and grabbed the doorknob. “I can’t lie to myself and wish for the impossible.”

  He left the room and Dara burst into tears.

  Kane twisted her in his arms, letting her hide herself against his chest. Damn Jack for being a stubborn fool. If he wasn’t interested, fine. But to admit that he wanted the same thing as they did and still say no…

  It had been a long time since he’d actually hit Jack, but he was perilously close to remedying that.

  He held Dara while she wept, breathing as slowly and calmly as he could to try and pass on some peace. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight, and the image of being with her, having her in his life, hit him like a load of bricks.

  If Jack said no, he could have her to himself.

  For one awful moment, he contemplated the idea before realizing that plan was more impossible than any of the future paths stretching before them. It would kill Jack to see him and Dara together, knowing that he could have been a part of a relationship. If she’d actually picked one of them, there would have been bruised egos and frustrations to work through, but now?

  They were screwed.

  Although, there was still a faint ray of hope. Jack had admitted he wasn’t totally against the idea, and as far as Kane was concerned, that meant maybe. He and Dara needed to figure out how to convince the jerk to get off his high horse and give them a chance. The sooner the better, as well, because once Jack trenched in it would take a bulldozer to move him.

  He kissed the top of Dara’s head and she looked up at him. He brushed away a tear from her cheek with his thumb, holding her face in his hands tenderly.<
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  “Do you think we can convince him to change his mind?” Her words came out shaky.

  “Perhaps. Come here.” He led her to the couch and sat her down, squatting before her to be eye level. “Dara, I want you to think about it and tell me the truth. Why do you want this? I mean, I suppose Jack’s a good-enough guy. I know I’m a fairly hot catch as well.”

  An involuntary burst of laughter escaped her. “And oh so modest.”

  “Exactly.” He winked at her and she gave him an unsteady smile. He kissed her cheek. “That’s my girl. We’ll get through this, you’ll see.”

  She nodded jerkily. “Okay. I just…I want it so bad. I really did try to figure out another way, but it seems so perfect.”

  “Why don’t you pick one of us and we’ll find a way to keep our friendship strong. The changed dynamics will be tough at first, but with a little work—”

  “Don’t you see? That’s what’s so screwed up here.” She shook her head in frustration, jumping to her feet. Kane took her spot on the couch and watched her pace. “So you two are willing to put the work in to stay friends if you don’t have me, or stay friends without gloating if you do. Where’s the logic in that? Why not put all that energy into making the three of us a reality? Maybe it is impossible, and down the road we’ll have to call it quits, but…”

  Kane considered. She was right, and damn if she didn’t even have enough logic in there to please Jack.

  She growled as she stomped across the room, wiping tears from her eyes. She turned to face him, her hands planted on her hips. “Jack’s such an arrogant bastard at times. ‘Only adult in the room.’ More like the only child. He’s not even going to take the toy out of the box to play with it because he might break it.”

  Kane whistled softly. Man, was she calling it right. “He has a couple of collector’s items like that at his folk’s place.”

  Dara’s jaw hung open. “You’re shitting me.”

  He shook his head. “You know what? I think you hit the nail on the head. He’s afraid. He doesn’t want to lose either of us.”

  “And he won’t.”

  Kane held out a hand to her and she joined him, crawling into his lap. He combed his fingers through her hair. “There’re no guarantees here, babe, but you’re right. If we don’t try, it won’t happen.”

  She stared at him, the remaining tears glistening in the corners of her eyes, and he reached up to wipe them away.

  “Are you really good with this?”

  He shrugged. “I’ve got a few concerns. I’d be an idiot if I didn’t. But Dara…”

  There was a crease forming between her eyes, and he smoothed his thumb over it. He’d spent four years coming to this place, and if he didn’t say it now, he’d explode. “I’m in love with you.”

  Dara stared at him. “What?”

  He paused. “You want to interpret that for me? Did you mean ‘what’ as in ‘I didn’t hear you’? Or ‘what’ as in ‘I can’t believe you said that and I’m going to freak out’?”

  She grabbed his face in both hands and kissed him madly before pulling off. “What, as in I really really need to hear you say it again. Oh God, Kane, I love you too. At least I think I do. Only…”

  He pressed her head to his shoulder. “You love Jack as well, right?”

  She nodded.

  “Well then. All we need to do is get Mr. Proper to admit what he feels—because I can tell you he’s fucking gone for you as well.”

  She cuddled in closer and his tensions eased. He leaned back and settled her more comfortably, rocking her gently in his arms. They sat together, breathing each other’s air, fingers linked together. Kane kissed her forehead, holding her tight to his body and letting her pulse synchronize with his own. Yeah, the sex had been dynamite, but the skiing each day had been just as spectacular. Spending time with her and Jack outside the bedroom—the memories made him smile. Dara racing fearlessly ahead, teasing Jack about his old-fashioned skis. Smiling and joking and telling stories.

  They already had an awesome relationship as a trio. The only thing that had changed this weekend was adding a physical relationship. Hopefully they could beat that fact into Jack’s head sooner than later.

  Dara twisted to straddle him, bringing her lips against his throat. She opened his collar and touched him with her tongue as she tugged on his shirt. His body was interested, very much so in fact, but he held her wrists and stopped her.

  “I think I should go see Jack. Make sure he’s okay.”

  Dara unbuttoned his shirt. “He’s being a grump. How will it help to go see him? Maybe we should give him more space to cool off.”

  Kane was tempted, really tempted, but giving Jack enough time to rationalize this even more would make their task that much harder. “He doesn’t need to calm down, we need to get him really riled up. Make him mad enough to fight for what he really wants because, Dara, he wants you. I know it.”

  She tilted her head and her expression changed to The Look. The one that made him shake in his boots. The one Jack called her Devil Face.

  “You want to make him mad? You up for a little acting? Because I think I know one way to get him to react.”

  “Oh good Lord, Dara, what are you dreaming up now?”

  “It’s kind of poetic justice, really. They got us into this trouble and maybe they can get us out.”

  They? Who the hell is she talking about?

  She scrambled off his lap and dug through her backpack. She twirled with a cry of satisfaction, holding up a pair of—

  “Walkie-talkies?”

  Dara’s smirk grew wider. “To the rescue. Let’s see what a little eavesdropping does to Jack.”

  Chapter Ten

  Alpine Responsibility Code

  Rule #10—Share the responsibility for a safe experience with others.

  Jack sprawled on the couch and sucked on his beer. He stared at the bottle mindlessly for a minute before focusing on the label. The icy cold local brew—called Faceplant—always made Dara giggle when she handed them out, and he gritted his teeth together and turned up the volume on the television. He flicked through channels and wondered if Kane was even going to come home tonight.

  Damn it, why’d he leave? He could have been there with them right now, or better yet, they should have hauled Dara into their apartment and his king-sized bed.

  He held the bottle to his temple. Right. For tonight. And tomorrow. But what about after that? What about when he couldn’t hold back any longer and started taking charge again, not only of Dara, but Kane?

  He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t put aside his need to lead in the bedroom. For the second half of the trip he’d tried that, forcing down his more dominating urges. Trying to change the way he operated had made him lose something fundamental. Even though he was controlling when it came to sex, he had always connected emotional caring with the physical demands he made. He hadn’t even realized that had been missing for the past day until he’d heard Kane as they prepared to take Dara together. Kane had been the one with the soft words, talking about making love. Talking about wanting to be there to support her. Wanting to share the experience so it became much more than just a physical thrill.

  Dara and Kane were the ones who deserved to be together, without him coming in and ordering their world. Changing his spots seemed impossible, no matter how much the offer she’d made tempted him.

  Maybe I could deal with it if it meant I could have Dara.

  Fuck.

  No, this was a better way. He’d use the excuse of society, and after a while Dara and Kane would accept it. Somehow he’d find a way to not let them know he was slowly dying as they carried on in front of him.

  The door opened with a clatter and he startled upright. Kane entered, his pack on his back. He stared at Jack, looked as if he was about to speak, then turned and headed silently to his room.

  Jack stared morosely at the screen. Great. Now all three of them were miserable. He was a fucking genius, he was.


  Kane rattled around for a while in the back of the apartment. The shower clicked on and Jack found himself with his hand on the front door before jerking to a stop. His body was ready to return to her without any qualms at all. No. He had to give this breathing time. He paced back to the couch.

  But there was no reason why he couldn’t call her. Just to make sure she was all right.

  She answered on the fourth ring.

  “Jack?”

  “Umm, just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  Silence on the line. A soft sniff. “I’m fine.”

  “You want to come over and watch some TV with me?” Sheesh, pathetic much? Surely he could beg a little harder. Throw in a few grovels for good measure. He’d been away from her for what? Thirty minutes, and he was caving already.

  “Kane’s coming here.” She whispered the words and his heart stopped in mid-beat. “He’s just grabbing a shower and some stuff, and said he’d spend the night.”

  A dagger of pain went through him. His best friend worked damn fast. Still, this was what he wanted, wasn’t it? “Okay. Well. Later then—”

  “Jack, I love you.”

  He scrambled for words, but before he could answer, she hung up.

  She loved him? He buried his face in his hands. She loved him, but his best friend was going to be the one in her bed tonight.

  Because I’m an idiot.

  Jack wasn’t sure how long he sat there, numb and needy. Wishing he could see a way out of the hellish hole he’d dug for himself. Behind him, Kane cleared his throat, and Jack forced himself to turn and look him in the eye.

  “I’m heading over to Dara’s. You’re welcome to come.”

  Inside his belly, anger and frustration battled. “I said no.”

  “You said a lot of things over the past few days, mainly to Dara, but I’ve been listening as well. You talked about not feeling guilty over what brings you pleasure. About trusting yourself. Not rushing into any decisions.”

  “So?”

  Kane shook his head. “Take your own damn advice. She needs you, and you need her. Hell, I’m the one who should be curled up in a fetal position.”