by Drew Sera
AG: Hey, Col. What do you think of my outfit?
I sent it and had attached the picture of my clothes. While I waited for his response, I began getting dressed and stopped to pick the phone up when it chimed at me. I smiled.
CE: Wow, very impressive, Anth. Remind me when I get home to put a gold star next to your name for getting dressed on your own. How’s Sydney?
I showed Sydney the text from Colin and she giggled at Colin’s gold star jab.
AG: She’s perfect. Fucking perfect. Our fragile kitten picked out my clothes AND got them out while I was in the bathroom shaving. She got my suit, tie and shirt from the closet all on her own!
I attached the smiling picture of Sydney that I took moments ago and sent it with my text. While I was putting on my shoes, the house phone rang and I knew it would be Colin. Sydney handed me the house phone and caller ID showed Colin’s cell number.
“My outfit is much more impressive, isn’t it?” I said to him as my greeting.
“Fuck yeah. That’s incredible, Anth. Can I talk to her?”
“Of course.” I handed Sydney the phone and took her by her hand and led her to the kitchen while she talked. I knew Colin was telling her how proud of her he was. I’m glad he was still up so he could give her some praise too. She’s not used to that. I pointed to the seat at the breakfast bar and she obediently sat down while I threw together breakfast of cereal, toast and fruit.
“Thanks, Sir.” I turned when I heard “sir” and was slightly disappointed when I saw that she was still on the phone and was talking to Colin. “I wanted to try to do something helpful for him.” I kept myself looking busy and facing the cabinets. “I kept him up last night.” She was telling him she woke up from a bad dream and she felt guilty about keeping me up. “I didn’t want him to be late this morning, so I tried to help...It was okay. Your closet has nice lights.” She laughed about something and I felt my chest starting to act up again. I took more ibuprofen and chased it with coffee. I needed to call Matt. Priority one today was my fucking chest. This wasn’t getting any better and I had a date tonight. “He’s okay.” She was listening to him now. “No, he cleaned it this morning. The bandage was gross this morning, but it’s all clean now.” Ah, wonderful. My gash. At least it was my gash and not hers. I’d be in jail probably if Paul had hit her with the whip. Jail and held without bail. I don’t think murder counts as an act that would warrant a bail opportunity. Her voice turned somber and quiet now. “I know. I will. I promise. Bye, Sir.” She hung the phone up and looked at me. I motioned for her to start eating.
“What did Colin make you promise?”
“That I’d let you take care of me when I wake up from dreams, not feel guilty and to let you hold me especially after tomorrow.”
Talk of tomorrow was getting her down. I could see the worry on her face. I reached over and gave her leg a pat.
“It’ll be okay, sunshine. I’ll be with you and we’ll go out for lunch afterwards.”
I hurried through breakfast and reminded her that Gina was coming over to get her at 11:30 for lunch. I kissed her goodbye and headed to my car. I didn’t dare try to call Matt from the car. I was afraid to allow myself to get distracted.
James followed me into my office and briefed me over some new developments with the Cheng deal, regarding production and delivery time frames for the contracted hotel, as well as the potential second hotel. Things were going well and right on schedule. I sat down at my desk, logged on and ran through my email in no time. I was putting off my call to Matt. I was reminded of my need to call him though after our staff meeting when I felt the aches start. I wasn’t short of breath and didn’t have radiating chest pain. It was weird and unlike anything I’ve had before. I just need to man up and go get looked at. I closed my door and sat behind my desk and dialed Matt.
“Hey Anth, how’s it going?”
“Fine.” I smiled when I thought back to this morning with Sydney. No, I wasn’t fine. I needed to be looked at. “Actually, I’m not feeling well and think I need to come see you if you have the time. If not, no big deal.”
“No, Anth, I’ve got time. What’s up?” His tone had changed to serious now and I felt awkward all of a sudden.
“Uh, I don’t really know. I just don’t feel well. It’s hard to explain.”
“Okay, tell me what time you want to come by and I’ll be available.”
“1:00?”
“I’ll see you in a few hours.”
When I got off the phone I picked up a bag of M&M’s and began eating them. I can see why Sydney likes these. They’re addictive. Just like she is.
Chapter 13
Monday, November 25th
Matt
My concentration was shot after the phone call from Anthony this morning. He’s not one to reach out for help very often and once he does, he’s in a dire state. I was thinking that this might have something to do with last night. Paul got his hands around Anthony’s neck on top of the marks left by the whip and I don’t think even Anthony would be invincible to being bothered by stuff from last night. He’s also not one to get many colds so I was ruling out this being a visit over the sniffles.
I know after last night, Blake was concerned about the incident between Paul and Anthony. Anthony is like the son Blake never had. I talked to Blake this morning and he filled me in on the security footage from last night and mentioned that Anthony put himself between Paul and Sydney quickly. It made me think back to when Anthony put himself in front of Sydney when Howard went to their office. I think Anthony would go to great lengths to keep her safe and he was as tough as nails. But even nails have a weak spot.
At about quarter to one, Anthony sent me a text saying he had arrived so I went out into the waiting room and looked around for him. I didn’t see him on my first visual scan of the waiting room. I found him leaning over resting his arms on his knees looking down.
“Anth,” I called over to him as I got closer. He looked up and I was a little surprised at his appearance. He looked bothered and clearly like he wasn’t feeling well. I decided against any sarcasm and joking jabs for the time being. He stood cautiously and followed me down to an exam room and jumped up on the table while I washed my hands.
He looked exhausted and like he hadn’t slept much, if any. When I asked him if he slept last night, he gave me his noncommittal shoulder shrug and said he slept a little. I know Sydney has been leaning on him quite a bit and has had most nights full of nightmares and sleep disturbances. Anthony has been her shoulder and I think it was taking a toll on him. He looked wiped out. Colin will be home in a few days and I’ll make it a point to talk to him. Anthony needs some sleep and chances are that whatever he’s here to see me about will get better with some rest. The next few days were going to be rough on him. Tomorrow is the appointment with Chris and there’s no telling how that will affect Sydney but I know that Anthony will deal with whatever comes his way.
“How is Sydney?” I asked and leaned against the counter.
“She’s good. She…” He broke off and didn’t finish whatever he started to tell me. I noticed he winced and put his hand over his sternum. Possibly near the lash mark from Paul’s whip.
“She what, Anth?” I wanted him to finish whatever he was going to say. He took a deep breath and looked up at me.
“She kept me together last night. She knew I was kind of on edge and she held me together.”
Bravo. I smiled and nodded at him. Sydney is going to be perfect for him. “Sydney is a very strong young lady. You and I are very lucky.” I wasn’t sure he was going to catch onto what I was implying. He still was very new to this situation and feelings.
“So, what’s up, man? You look worried, Anth.”
I could tell it was going to be hard pulling info from him because he was still quiet. That’s okay though, I expect it from him and will figure it out. I dried my hands and leaned on the counter and looked at him.
“Is it the lash mark from the whip last ni
ght?”
“No, fuck that. It’s fine.” He looked like he was trying to work something out in his head. He opened his mouth a few times but couldn’t get anything out. He clearly was bothered about whatever the hell it was. “I’ve been having chest pain. It comes and goes and sometimes it comes on at the same time as stomach pains.” At the phrase “chest pain,” I stood up straighter.
“How long has it been going on?”
“Few weeks, off and on. It’s sporadic.”
“Goddamn it, Anthony. Why the fuck didn’t you say something sooner? Take your shirt off.”
He removed his jacket, tie and button shirt and moved slower to pull the undershirt off. He didn’t have his wound covered.
“Would it kill you to act human for once? I know Colin’s got bandages all over that house.” I stopped talking and held my tongue. I needed to ease up on him. He was worried and I was riding him like a parent and I apologized. I knew it took a lot for him to ask for help. Apparently, weeks of chest and stomach pain.
I listened to his heart and nothing sounded out of the ordinary. His heart sounded strong and his lungs sounded clear. I moved the stethoscope around to his abdomen and lower back for a few moments.
“Tell me about the stomach pain?”
“I don’t know how to describe it. Just fucking hurts sometimes. Sometimes it’s just a dull ache and then other times it’s much worse.”
“Have you been sick to your stomach? Loss of appetite?”
Anthony shook his head and I motioned for him to lie down so I could feel around on his stomach. Nothing felt out of the ordinary. I told him we’d do an EKG and check for any heart issues. As he and I were waiting for the EKG cart I asked him if Sydney was okay this morning after their crazy night at Irons. Mentioning Sydney’s name had an interesting effect of him. He sat up straight, his eyes got brighter and he smiled. He told me about how she got his clothes out of the closet this morning all on her own. I was happy for her progress and noticed Anthony reached for his chest.
“What, did it just start hurting again?”
He nodded and looked up at me with desperate eyes.
“What’s wrong with me, Matt? You have to help me. I have to be okay. I have a date tonight. I’m taking Sydney to Cisco’s.”
Anthony didn’t take women to his place but Cisco’s was a restaurant in his building. It sounded like things were progressing nicely between Anthony and Sydney. I was happy for him but still concerned about his chest. I told him to stay still and be quiet while we did the EKG. I sat by the cart and watched the results start to roll out. He was healthy and nothing looked out of the norm. I had a theory about what was going on with him but needed to test it out. I motioned for him to sit up and I listened to his heart again. Nice, solid, strong and at a decent resting pace. For now.
“So what brought on date night?” I asked and kept the stethoscope on his chest. I smiled when my theory turned out to be right. His heart began to beat faster as he spoke about her.
“She’s never been out on a date. Like a real date. And Cisco’s has that huge M&M brownie sundae on their dessert menu. I thought it’d be perfect.”
I leaned back on the counter and looked at him as he excitedly spoke about his evening plans.
“Are you taking her back to your place afterwards?” I asked. Since Anthony didn’t take women to his place if he planned on taking Sydney up to his condo, I was proud of him. Anthony was beginning to experience and feel things that he had ruled out for himself a long, long time ago.
“I don’t know. I might but I’ll play it by ear. Tomorrow will be rough on her and I want tonight to be calm.”
I knew that after the appointment tomorrow Sydney could be a wreck. I told Anthony to let me know how it goes afterwards and maybe we could meet for lunch. I promised Colin that I would help Anthony with Sydney. I knew tomorrow could be difficult for both of them.
“I have your test results here but need to go back to my office to look up a prescription. You want to wait here or come with me?”
He pulled his shirts back on and tied his tie loosely before following me down the hall with his hand over his chest. He paced in my office while I pulled out a prescription pad and began to write.
“Anth, calm down.”
“I can’t. This is horrible timing. Why couldn’t this happen years ago? Why now?”
“Obviously something has come up for you now whereas it wasn’t present years ago. Why are you so upset about timing?”
He continued to pace and move his hand around his chest and through his hair.
“Sydney, man. She needs someone strong. Whatever the fuck is wrong with me needs to hurry the fuck up and go away. Colin needs me to be strong to help and Sydney was starting to really let me in.”
He was making me smile inside. He goes on and on about how he needs to be strong for Sydney, yet makes it sound like he’s just doing it to help Colin out. I continued writing and when I was done, I folded up the paper and went over to him. I felt kind of bad for the guy. He was worried. I put the folded up paper in his hand and watched him stare at it.
“Fuck!” He swore. He hadn’t opened it but was thinking the worst.
“Anthony, I’ll let you read this on your own. You’re a strong man and will deal with it. Colin and I will be here for you and will help you through it. It’ll be okay, Anth.”
I thought he might crumble on me. He nodded and shoved the paper in his pocket, refusing to make eye contact with me. It would be careless of me to let him leave upset and then get in his car. I walked with him to the parking lot out to his car. Before he got in, I told him to read the paper before he drives anywhere.
“Matt, I don’t want Colin to know. Whatever is wrong with me, I’ll deal with it. I want to be there to help Sydney. Colin won’t let me if I’m sick or something.”
“Anthony, Colin’s going to find out. You aren’t going to be able to keep this from him. I won’t tell him. But little bro, he’s going to find out.”
“Fuck! Is it that bad, Matt? Maybe I don’t want to know. Here, I changed my mind. I don’t want to know.”
Anthony tried shoving the paper back in my hands. I took it and put it in the pocket of his suit jacket.
“Look at it before you leave the parking lot. If you need to talk, you know where I am.”
I gave his arm a punch and headed back inside. I kept my phone out and expected him to call me before I got back into my office.
Chapter 14
Monday, November 25th
Anthony
I sat in my car for what seemed like forever. Here it was going on 3:30 and I had life altering news scribbled down on a piece of paper shoved in my pocket. How was I supposed to take care of Sydney now? I was quite possibly as good as dead. I felt like all the excitement of possibilities with Sydney just got knocked out of me. Maybe it was the right timing and Sydney and I were just not meant to be. Colin always says that things happen for a reason. He was healthy and good for her. No, he was better than good for her. He was what she needed. Fuck. Lets get this over with. I pulled out the paper and flipped it open.
Diagnosis: You are in love! Love makes your chest ache and swell when you see her or hear her name. It makes you do things you never would have ever considered doing before. Like taking her out on a date and then to your place. Love makes you drop your life in order to help her out and it makes your stomach feel like it’s dropping when you hear her voice. When her touch and laughter soothes you and her smile and eye contact brings you to your knees, you’re in love. When you sit on the floor and share your deepest, most painful memories with her and when you feel like your chest has a hole in it when you’re apart, you’re in love.
Treatment recommendation: Love her back. Cherish her, never take a single day for granted, don’t be afraid to make mistakes (they’ll happen). Give her the world because that girl will give herself to you. She will give you 110% every day. Don’t be afraid to dominate her. It’s who you are and it’s who she
is. She wants it and needs it. Don’t be afraid to love. You’ve got one of the oldest ailments around. Not everyone gets that, Anth. And as it turns out, it’s not such a bad thing. Don’t be afraid of it.
P.S. She loves you too!
I stared at the note and read it over and over again. I was in love. Holy fucking shit, I was. I never thought it was possible. I soon was laughing and smiling like a loon in my car. I turned my car on and sent Matt a text. I wasn’t ready to vocalize this yet.
AG: This is what love feels like?
MR: Yes, congratulations. It’s the best thing in the world. Be happy. You deserve it, Anth.
AG: Thanks for putting up with me. Sorry about today.
MR: No need to apologize. You’re healthy. Have a great time tonight and call me tomorrow after her appointment.
AG: I will. Hey, don’t tell Colin about this.
MR: I’ve got news for you, he already knows. I didn’t have to tell him.
I was in love. I was in love and getting ready to take my sunshine out tonight. I headed to Colin’s and stopped at a flower shop on the way. I have never bought flowers for anyone before. A flower shop was like a foreign country to me. I wandered for a few minutes and remembered how much she loved the yellow flowers her co-workers gave her. I instructed the florist to make a bouquet of yellow flowers. While I was waiting, a special case off to the side caught my eye. There were a lot of dark flowers. Deep reds and purples that gave off dark hues.
“What are these called?”
“Those are black calla lilies. Well, they’re not really black, but more of a deep purple. They symbolize mystery. Would you like some of those too?”
“Just one. Stick it in the center so it’s surrounded by all the yellow ones.”
She probably thought I was nuts ruining a beautiful bouquet of yellow with darkness. Sydney was the light and I was the dark. I sent Sydney a text while the flowers were being put together and let her know I was almost home. I knew she was looking forward to tonight. I was too. I don’t know how Sydney had never been out on a date but I at least hoped that before Howard she at least had some fun, and went out places.