by Drew Sera
Just as I had closed my eyes, Sydney’s voice filled space between us. “You guys do have Super Dom dicks.” Her giggles and our laughter sent us off to sleep. I smiled knowing that I would do damn near anything to hear her laugh and see her smile.
Chapter 23
Sunday, December 1st
Sydney
I can’t breathe!
“Calm down, Sydney,” I said over and over to myself.
Ouch!
“Concentrate Sydney! He’s going to burn you if you don’t straighten up!” I screamed at myself.
I was trying but it wasn’t good enough.
“Fucking useless cunt!” Howard yelled at me as his hand slapped me on my ear.
I froze on the spot. I hated when he hit me on the side of my head. The ringing in my ear started and my stomach began rolling. I opened my eyes slowly and saw two belly buttons right in front of me but they slowly jogged from side to side. I was dizzy.
His hand connected with my ear again. I made a knee jerk reaction and moved my head slightly and pulled up my shoulder to shelter my ear as best as I could. My hands were cuffed behind me and were of no use to me right now.
“Slut, did I tell you to move?”
I quickly shook my head only to have a handful of my hair grabbed as he pulled me closer to his crotch.
“You fucking can’t do a thing right. I don’t know why I’m even wasting my time with you. You’re a horrible submissive! How can you even look in the mirror?”
I was terrible.
He was right.
Tears filled my eyelids and my nose got congested. I couldn’t breathe. His hand was under my jaw holding my mouth closed around his dick. I tried sniffling hard hoping it would clear the passageway so I could breathe. He was laughing at me. I fought against him just for a breath of air. He shoved himself further into my mouth until he hit the back of my throat causing me to gag. More laughter filled the air as he continued to hit my ear. He finally shoved me off of him causing me to lose my balance and fall backwards on the floor. My arms were pinned behind me, cuffed to the spreader bar. It didn’t matter though because I could at least breathe.
From the floor I looked up at him. He was staring at me with eyes filled with disgust.
“I’m sorry, S-sir.”
“Sorry? You got that right, slut.” He reached in his shirt pocket and pulled out a cigarette and put it in his mouth. He looked down at me with a smile that made my stomach hurt. I pulled myself to a sitting position and felt the familiar warm trail of blood seeping slowly down my jaw and neck. I knew he made my ear bleed. He pulled out a lighter.
“No, please. Fire…fire!”
I tried to push myself away from him. No! He smiled, lit the cigarette and dropped the lighter onto the table. He motioned for me to come to him, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to be burned. I panicked as he walked towards me. I was stuck and couldn’t move. He pulled me off the floor by my hair and took me over to the wall by my bathroom.
With a thud, the side of my head hit the wall and my face pressed firmly against it. His hand grabbed my hair and pulled it up and away from my neck. I struggled against him and said my safe word again and again until I earned a fist in my stomach. It hurt so much but I couldn’t move to cradle my stomach or shelter it.
“Please don’t. Fire,” I begged through gasps of air, trying to recover from the punch.
“I’ve told you slut, your precious safe word does you no good. That word is fucking useless until you learn how to behave. Don’t you dare try to use it. Now, what’s going to happen?”
I cried. I just shut my eyes and cried. I knew what was coming and it was pointless to resist.
“I need to be punished, Sir.”
“Be a good little slut and tell me why,” Howard said as he flicked ashes at me.
“I need to be punished because I displeased you, Sir. I didn’t meet your expectations and didn’t make you come.”
His heavy hand adjusted his grip on my hair tighter and pressed me harder against the wall. I closed my eyes tighter and tried moving away from him. As the cigarette made contact with my skin, I cried out only to have him yank on my hair. I clamped my mouth shut and jerked my body in every direction I could, trying to get away. It was useless to fight. I knew this, yet I still fought. Finally the pressure on my neck eased up and I started to slide down my wall.
“Ah, ah, no. We’re not done slut.”
He pulled me upright and turned my body so I faced the wall again. I saw a tiny smudge of blood on the wall where my ear had been pressed against moments ago. Howard pulled my arms out of the locked cuffs on the spreader bar and brought them up to rest on the wall. He backed my feet up so I had to lean on my outstretched arms. I didn’t care anymore. My neck was on fire and the scent of charred skin filled my nostrils. He parted my legs and backed away from me.
“Go away, Sydney. Hide. Don’t let him see you,” I told myself quickly. I heard Howard unbuckle his belt and knew I needed to shut it all off quickly. “Hide, Sydney.”
The leather made contact with my back and stunned me.
I opened my eyes, panicking, urging myself to get the hell out of here. “Hide, hide, hide!” I didn’t want to be here for this.
Ouch! The belt slapped against my butt.
Why was I still here? Sometimes it’s so easy to go away and not really be here. Why was I stuck now?
Mmmph. I swallowed hard as the belt came up from between my legs and hit my stomach.
My head hung. I stared at the floor listening and feeling every sharp bite of the belt on my flesh.
Back…butt…backs of my legs…between my legs…back…butt…backs of my legs…between my legs.
Tears ran like lava down my face and hit the floor. Stupid Sydney! Don’t let him see you cry!
Back…butt…back of my legs…between my legs.
I brought my head up and stared at the wall.
Back…butt…back of my legs…between my legs.
Mmmph. Blood. Blood had just flicked onto my wall. I stared at it and never took my eyes from it.
I was hidden now. Everything was gone. I was at my desk. Katie was talking to me and I was getting ready for my day. The scent of coffee filled the air. Mr. Everett sat at a table with Mr. Graves and they were drinking coffee. He was smiling at me. Mr. Everett was smiling at me. I closed my eyes and smiled.
My eyes couldn’t focus when I opened them. Why couldn’t I see anything? I blinked, and blinked some more, before I began to panic. No! The closet! I tugged on my arms but couldn’t move them. My struggling reminded me that I had a fresh burn mark on the back of my neck. That wasn’t the worst of my problems right now. I needed out of the closet. My chest constricted and I couldn’t breathe again.
“Fire!”
I yelled “fire” for what seemed like forever. My voice was nearly gone. Footsteps were coming towards the door. No, I can’t take anymore. I closed my eyes and let my head hang. The door creaked open and hands were on me. No! I don’t want to be touched! Please no!
“Fire,” I said weakly.
“We’ve got you, baby. You’re safe Sydney. Shhh, baby. All safe. Just us. You’re okay.” I couldn’t help but shake when a hand stroked my hair. I pulled my shoulder up as the hand got close to my ear.
Colin.
I swallowed hard as another set of hands pulled me close to a chest.
“Easy, sunshine. It was just a nightmare.”
Anthony.
I was safe.
Chapter 24
Sunday, December 1st
Anthony
Colin and I knew last night had the potential for nightmares for Sydney and the demons didn’t disappoint. Multiple times last night Howard visited her in her sleep. There was a nightmare about Howard hitting her ears due to his unhappiness with her oral skills and another nightmare about being in the dark closet. I hope she’s able to start moving forward and away from the past. Even though I have my doubts, I’m hoping that Chris will be able t
o help.
Game time was approaching and Colin and I both had on our football jerseys. I found Sydney’s red tee shirt and helped her into it. We needed to find her a jersey like the one Gina has. I was in the kitchen helping Sydney get some snacks and food ready for the Niners game while Colin went to let the guests in. Not only did Colin invite Matt’s dad and brothers, but Blake was coming over too. Personally, I wished he hadn’t invited anyone today. Matt and Gina would have been okay and even Blake, but with Matt’s brothers and dad it wasn’t going to be the relaxed atmosphere like we needed. The nightmares were especially rough on Sydney last night and she wasn’t at ease.
Everyone was crowding around in the kitchen talking and offering to help, but really they were just in the way. Sydney became quiet once the traffic and amount of bodies grew in the kitchen. She was trying to keep track of everyone and tried to keep everyone in front of her where she could see them. I stayed close to her while Colin was passing out drinks and starting up football conversations but still, Sydney’s hands naturally gravitated towards one another. She’d catch herself, and would pull her hands apart; but the poor girl looked stressed. Colin and Matt usually had a beer or two during the game and there was beer available for the guests today. I wondered if Colin was planning on having one. He never drank at the club if he was playing that night. I know he won’t drink if he plans on being close to Sydney either. We aren’t sure yet if that’s a trigger for her.
Suddenly the sound of a bottle getting knocked over, rolling on the counter and then crashing to floor halted all conversations and eyes went around the kitchen trying to find the source. John had set his bottle down on the island counter and Sydney bumped it, knocking it to the ground. Glass shattered and the scent of beer filled the air.
“Shit! Sorry about that, my fault. I left it too close to the edge.” John was quick to accept fault for the bottle breaking. I’m sure he was overly apologetic about it due to additional information Matt had told them about Sydney.
Sydney freaked out though because she knocked it over. She started profusely apologizing and was in a panic trying to find something to clean it up with. John started moving quickly to help, but Matt grabbed him by the arm to stop him from panic reacting. Last thing we needed was John moving quickly around Sydney and glass.
Sydney’s head was quickly scanning the kitchen for something to clean the beer up with. Colin was calm and told Sydney not to worry about it and he’d get the dustpan from the garage for the glass while John reached for some paper towels. In near unison, Matt, Blake, Arthur, Colin, Mark and myself freaked out to some degree when Sydney lowered herself to the floor and started picking up pieces of glass with her bare hands. Many forms of “no” or “leave it alone” or “don’t touch the glass” could be heard in the kitchen. Everyone was making their way close to Sydney.
Thankfully I reached her before any of Matt’s brothers. I crouched down and took hold of her wrists. I knew it was risky but I couldn’t grab her hands to still her movements out of fear that she’d get cut with the glass she held. With her tiny, burned and scarred wrists in my hands, all movement from her had stopped and she kept her head lowered.
“Let go of the glass, sunshine,” I said quietly and calmly.
Her little hands opened and a few chunks of glass and smaller pieces emptied from her shaking hands. She kept her hands open and fingers spread and facing downward under my hands with her head hung. I moved my hands to her upper arms and gently pulled her up from the ground. I held her at an arm’s length to look in her eyes but her head was still hung and she was looking down at the floor. I let a hand leave her upper arm for a moment to take hold of her chin gently. Her deep blues were distant and were staring at the glass on the floor.
“Eyes on me, Sydney.”
Once I was sure she was focused on my eyes, I quickly glanced down to her trembling hands to see if she was cut. Her hands were red but I didn’t see any blood or cuts on my initial glance. I stepped around the glass with Sydney and took her to the sink. I wanted to make sure all of the tiny, glass shards which are nearly invisible to the naked eye, were washed away.
I flipped the faucet on and stood so my body was flush against hers as she faced the sink. Making sure my movements weren’t rushed, I held her hands while the cool water ran over them. Every few seconds I gently swiped my thumbs across her palms checking for cuts. Sydney kept nodding her head saying she was fine and then tried to look behind me to see what was going on. I could hear everyone quickly trying to clean up.
“Shhh, sunshine. Do your hands hurt or does it feel like you got some glass in them?” No response from her. I lowered my head and kissed her cheek. My lips rest against her skin for a few moments hoping it would calm her. I glanced at her eyes and could see that she was still detached and was gazing into the sink. “Sydney. Sunshine, it’s okay.” I turned the faucet off and pat dried her hands with a paper towel. I examined her hands and was satisfied that she wasn’t cut. I didn’t move us from the spot where we stood and wrapped an arm around her waist and the other arm across her body just under her collarbones. I heard her sniffle and hugged her against me. “Easy, sunshine,” I whispered.
I heard a very faint, “Sir,” escape her lips and knew she was back in the present with me and was ready to crumble. Over my shoulder Arthur stepped in to try and make the situation better. He saw how Sydney reacted and knew they were making it worse.
“John, Mark, let’s help Gina take the plates and chips to the other room.” Arthur headed out of the kitchen with Gina and his sons. Blake grabbed some stuff off the counter and headed to the great room as well.
Colin and Matt were cleaning up the glass and beer while I took Sydney to the kitchen table and sat down with her on my lap. I knew Arthur and everyone else could see me from the great room but I didn’t give a fuck. Sydney needed me.
“It’s my mess, I need to clean it, Sir!” Sydney whispered frantically and pushed against me a little trying to get free of my arms so she could clean glass up. Over my dead fucking body was I going to allow her to pick up glass. I hugged her tighter against me and had to keep her from falling apart because I didn’t think she was far from that stage. Her eyes were red and lip was quivering while she kept trying to look over my shoulder at Matt and Colin cleaning up the kitchen.
Fucking Howard probably instilled this reaction. I’d find out later what the story was behind this. Obviously she was terrified of the repercussions for something like this. Fuck, I hope she wasn’t afraid that Colin and I were going to punish her.
“Sunshine,” I whispered in her ear trying to drag her attention away from Colin and Matt. “Sweetheart, let me see your pretty eyes.” With my request, she was able to pull her attention from the mess and focus on me. “Sydney, you aren’t in trouble. Just relax, it was an accident.” I gently spread my hand against her stomach. I know it calms her and right now she needed desperately to calm down.
“I’m sorry, Sir.” She started tugging at her fingers as she looked over at Colin and Matt with the broom. “Anthony, I’m really, really sorry. Please don’t…” Sydney started to say something but then her voice trailed off.
I don’t know if Colin heard her start and stop, but I did. I was very curious what she was about to reveal with her plea.
“Don’t what, sunshine? Tell me. Remember, no more secrets or hiding. You’re safe with us,” I whispered to her and held her chin so she’d keep her eyes on me. She was struggling with herself on if she wanted to finish her sentence. I could demand it, but I really didn’t find that to be a wise tactic with her. She finally gave in, and what she whispered back nearly tore me in two.
“Cut me,” she whispered back. I saw her swallow hard and look up at me with those big dark blues. “Please don’t cut me.”
Fuck me. So, she was used to being punished for knocking something over or breaking it by being cut. I could barely contain myself but had to get a grip and stay calm. When I heard her say that, my body stiffened and s
he felt it. I could feel her body tense and I heard a tiny whimper escape her throat. Colin heard and looked up.
“Everything okay over there?” He asked.
I nodded and pulled Sydney closer to me. While Matt took the glass to the garage, Colin leaned on the counter and looked over at us. I think he was regretting having company over. Oh, if he had heard what she just whispered to me, everyone would be out on the porch right now. We were going to get past this. Surge forward. I continued to rub slowly and softly over her tummy and kissed her head.
“Sunshine, let’s go enjoy the game. I’ve got money riding on the Niners.” I winked at her and could feel her pulling back together when I saw her smile.
“I don’t understand sports betting,” she said as she placed her hand in mine and we headed towards the great room. She was also determined to move forward.
“I’ll explain it to you, sunshine.”
There was a lot that was going on around us in the moments that led up to the game but Sydney and I were lost in our own conversation. I heard others conversing around us, pizzas were delivered, more beverages passed around. But all I paid attention to was Sydney. She sat in the corner of the couch where the chaise blends into the rest of the couch and I sat next to her making sure that she could feel my body close to hers. I had my arm wrapped around her with my hand still resting against her stomach as we stared at my football parlay card. I had bet on other games too, but since we were getting ready to watch the Niners, I explained to her how the points work on the parlay card.
“So, San Francisco has to win by four in order for you to win your wager? All because of that minus sign?”
“Yes, sunshine. Now, if I had taken St. Louis, they could actually lose by four and I’d still win.”
“Because of the plus sign?”