by Drew Sera
It was late when we got home but I wanted to make sure Anthony and I were able to talk to her some before we went to bed and I wanted to see her journal. Anthony and I needed to work daily with her on self-esteem and confidence building.
We sat on the bed and she handed me her journal. I’ve been curious all day over what she’d write down. I kissed her forehead while Anthony had her wrapped up in his arms on his lap. I opened her journal and let my eyes scan over what she liked about herself.
Number 1: I like that I have a new friend to do stuff with and talk to about things.
Number two: I like that my second to the biggest toe is shorter than the big toe.
Number three: I like that I’ve been fortunate enough to have Colin and Anthony love and take care of me.
Number four: I like my blue eyes
Number five: I like that I’m Anthony’s sunshine.
I smiled at what she had written and read them out loud. Before Anthony and I, she’d only have the happiness over her toes and her blue eyes. These were good, but I wanted more from her. I knew she had it in her but was either scared to think that deeply, or didn’t think that’s what I was going for.
“These are good, Sydney. But give me something else.” I said to her and maintained eye contact with her.
I propped myself up on my elbow and continued to look at her. The silence was heavy but I’d wait her out for a few more moments. I reached out and tugged on her second toe, causing her to giggle.
“Give me something else, baby. Something you’ve got in you but you keep guarded. Something you’re shy about, maybe modest over. I want that.”
Hers eyes left mine and she looked down. I could see her eyes moving as she dug. As I watched her struggle, I thought if I prompted her a little, she’d catch on. I took hold of her hand and ran my thumb gently across the back.
“Remember when Matt brought you to lunch the day you got upset over the list? Remember trying to move off Anthony so you wouldn’t wrinkle his suit?” She nodded, waiting for me to continue. “And remember when you were worried about Anthony facing Howard in the atrium at work?” She nodded again and held herself very still. I rubbed my thumb along the back of her hand while looking in her eyes. “Remember when we were helping you clean out your apartment and you wanted to donate everything you could possibly donate to those less fortunate than you?” She pulled her bottom lip in to keep me from seeing it quiver. When she looked down, I took hold of her chin and her watery eyes met mine. She knew where I was heading with it but I wanted her to believe it and say it. “Say it, baby.”
“I’m…I’m a kind person.”
I nodded and glanced at Anthony and then smiled at Sydney.
“Now, say it like you believe it, baby.”
“I’m kind.”
“No, like you really believe it. It’s the truth, Sydney. You, my dear, have the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful heart. Your heart is bigger than your little body can hold. Anthony and I don’t know another human soul that is kinder than yours. Now, say it like you mean it.”
With more confidence, she said she was kind. Anthony poked her tummy and looked up at me, trying to lighten the mood and make her smile. He’s always successful and began to tease.
“It doesn’t sound too convincing to me, Col. Maybe she thinks we’re lying.”
“No! No, not at all. It’s just…” Sydney started but let her words fade.
“Just what, sunshine?”
“I’m just not used to hearing, or thinking those things. Not until you guys.” I wiped a tear away from her cheek. She smiled and nodded at me. “I’m a kind person,” she said with a strong, matter of fact tone.
“Good girl, baby. Anthony and I are proud of you.”
Working on Sydney’s self-esteem was going to be a daily task of ours. She needed it desperately.
Tomorrow was the follow up with Matt and we wanted to talk to her about it because she gets upset having to go to the doctor. She doesn’t come out and say anything but she gets quiet the night before and the morning of the appointment. I know she’s nervous and she doesn’t like anyone’s hands on her except for Anthony and I.
“Tomorrow when we go see Matt, Anthony and I are going to get blood tests as well. We want to be able to assure you that we’re healthy and clean since we’re abandoning the condoms.”
She told us she trusted us and wasn’t worried about it. Still, Anthony and I were going to do that. She kept grinning though, and when I asked her what she was smiling about, she said “I’m excited you guys are willing to touch me without a condom.”
Chapter 37
Thursday, December 5th
Colin
It was 7:00 when I woke up. Sydney’s head was resting on my shoulder and she was making lazy trails with her finger tips on my chest and stomach. Unfortunately, we couldn’t sleep in or play with her in the shower. We had an 8:30 appointment with Matt and he told us last night not to eat anything so we could get our blood work as well.
“Shower time, baby.”
Even though Anthony and I were trying to behave, Sydney innocently got us hard. She was washing us and commented on ball sacs in general.
“They’re so fascinating. The skin is so…funny,” she explained while lathering my balls.
Our playfulness was being shadowed this morning by the appointment with Matt. I knew things would be fine, but still worried whenever we took Sydney for anything medically related. She gets nervous and upset which in turn kills Anthony and I seeing her that way.
While I was helping Sydney get ready, Anthony walked into the bathroom just in jeans. I raised my eyebrow at him.
“I doubt you’ll get through the door of Matt’s office,” I told him and went back to cleaning one of the welts Sydney had left.
“Who am I?”
I looked over at him. Ah, he was playing a game.
“I’m the guy at the store last night. The punk by the plant. Can’t you tell?”
I burst out laughing. His jeans were unbuttoned at the top and pulled down just above his dick. It looked hilarious because Anthony had chest hair and then a dusting around his abdomen and a trail from his belly button down to right above his dick. He and I both trimmed down there but we weren’t hairless. The guy last night didn’t have an ounce of hair on his chest or abdomen. Anthony’s mockery was great and it eased some of Sydney’s tension.
“What? My lines are there, don’t pretend that you can’t see them,” Anthony joked as he rubbed his hand over his faint lines leading into the jeans.
“You’re funny and your lines are very sexy, Anthony,” Sydney said and went to give him a kiss. “Just more reasons why I love you.” With that she headed off into the bedroom to finish getting ready.
Anthony stood motionless in the bathroom doorway. He rubbed his chest and then headed into the closet to finish getting dressed. He’ll feel so much better once he tells her that he loves her.
We were just about to leave when the housekeeper arrived. I told her there was new bedding in the hall and that I wanted it laundered and the bed made up with it. I told her to please see that the old linens were donated, when Sydney spoke up.
“Colin, where were you going to have them donated?”
“I don’t know, baby. Whatever charity could use them.”
For whatever reason, her calling me by my name in front of others turned me on. I don’t know why, but it got me. For many months she’d only address me as Mr. Everett at work. Then things changed and I became “Sir.” I liked that immensely but also enjoy the way “Colin” sounded coming from her.
“If you don’t have a place in mind, I know of a place downtown. They’re a non-profit. So they don’t sell your donations. They just give them to those in need.”
“Would that make you happier, baby?”
“Yes, S…Colin.”
I smiled at her. She almost called me Sir. I told the housekeeper to just launder all of my old stuff and put them in some bags. We’ll donate th
em to the place Sydney knew of. I also pointed out the grocery list as well.
We headed to Matt’s office and Sydney started asking about what kind of dress she needed for the party next weekend.
“Well, whatever you and Gina think would be best. Anthony and I will be in tuxes.”
“Oh, very formal. My two penguins.” She laughed softly and then added, “I’ll find a nice dress.”
“It’ll be a dinner, I give a little speech, and then Anthony, Mitch and I will go around to all of the employees and hand them a holiday gift of cash for their families. Then there’s dancing and a photographer roams around. Employees seem to like it.”
“They like the cash and open bar,” Anthony added.
I scowled. I didn’t think that was true of everyone. Our employees were loyal and happy employees. I treated them well and appreciated their work and dedication. I’m sure there were some who would attend the holiday party for the cash gift, but I think it was a minority.
Matt’s general practice office was close to our neighborhood where he spent a few days a week. We arrived a little early and went in. Anthony headed to some seats with Sydney while I went to the front desk.
“Hey Marilyn, is the boss man in yet?” I asked the woman at the front desk while I signed Sydney in.
“Hi, Mr. Everett. He’s in but finishing with his first appointment.”
I made friendly chit chat with her and asked how her grandchildren were doing. She showed me pictures and carried on for a few minutes until Matt walked up to the other side of the counter with his first patient. He motioned for us to come back and he buzzed us through.
Once we were all inside the room, he asked how we were doing as he washed his hands. He knew Anthony and I wanted blood work done too.
“Alright, well, let’s get Sydney checked over first. Then I’ll poke you two.”
It would have been very easy to have some fun with that line but none of us took the opportunity. Matt set out a paper gown and motioned me to go out into the hallway with him. Anthony was staying in the room to help Sydney.
“How are the nightmares?” He asked me as we hung out in the hallway.
“Better, they aren’t every night,” I reported.
Matt and I went back into the exam room. Sydney no longer flinches when Matt gets close to her and I’m pleased at the progress. She’s learning to trust those that Anthony and I trust.
Matt raised the gown to just below her breasts and looked at her ribs and abdomen closely. He was trying to be gentle as he pushed and felt certain areas. But hell, there was still a place where if he pushed just right, she’d bend in the middle. Matt winced and took a deep breath in response to Sydney’s reaction of being in obvious pain.
“How often do you get the stomach pain, sweetheart?”
“It’s not so bad.”
“She’s still getting it every now and then. It’s not every day. But sometimes it’s a couple times in a day. I’ve told you when she gets it,” I said to Matt.
“I just wanted to see if maybe there were other times that you and Anthony might not know about. Maybe while you’re at work.”
All eyes went down to Sydney, but she shook her head and said she wasn’t in pain. Matt checked on the wounds on her back, the cut behind her ear and ran his hand along the chapped skin on her hips.
“Are you guys still putting lotion on these hips?”
“Yeah, every night and each morning. Is there a better lotion? Her hips don’t seem to be getting any better.”
“They were rubbed raw with sandpaper, Colin. For quite a long time, right Sydney?” Matt continued to touch her hips as he asked her questions.
“Yes,”
“Alright, let’s check down below.”
Matt went to wash his hands again and get a few items and gloves. Anthony and I stood on either side of her and I could see all the color leave her face. We were holding her hands and preventing them from curling up into balls. Once Matt made contact, her eyes closed and she clamped her mouth shut. I glanced down at Matt willing him to hurry up.
Anthony bent down, kissed her forehead and whispered for her to open her eyes. She did and kept them on him until Matt finished. Even though her eyes were open and on Anthony, she wasn’t mentally right there. She had momentarily escaped for a bit. I walked over to the counter with him while he packaged up some cotton swabs and made some notes. He kept his back to Sydney while Anthony helped her get dressed.
“So, how’s everything looking?” I asked him quietly.
“Fine, all things considering. Please keep an eye on those stomach pains. Are there any other symptoms popping up when she says her stomach hurts?”
I shook my head. I couldn’t think of anything. This might be unrelated but I felt I needed to mention that she had a fever last weekend. I also brought up the fact that Sydney still gets cold after sex.
“Sydney’s body still gets chilled after sex. Consistently. She comes and is fine, but the minute we start to separate, she gets the chills and her skin gets goose bumps.”
“She’s very connected and attached to you two. It’s a combination of an emotional and physical connection. She feels very safe with you two and then is extra vulnerable during sex. She still feels safe during sex with you guys, but once the physical touch is broken, her body reacts. It’ll lessen over time. It’s not something to be concerned about, but it’s not something to ignore. I know you guys are diligent with tending to her afterwards. Keep doing that, especially once your play starts getting heavier. Right now, she’s still trying to adjust. Her body wants to be touched without being hurt.”
I knew that. Anthony and I were both aware that Sydney’s body craved to be cared for and touched without being abused or taken advantage of. Anthony had his arms wrapped around Sydney and she was dressed now and I nodded to Matt.
“Who is getting poked first, gentlemen?”
I volunteered. Anthony was holding Sydney and I didn’t want him to break the contact with her yet. After I went, he did the same to Anthony. Matt said he’d have the results for us on Saturday when he comes over to help plan the Irons party with Blake.
We got home and it wasn’t even 10:00 yet. Anthony and I had to go to work, but we told Sydney to work on her limit list until Gina came over. The two were going dress shopping. I know they were going to the outdoor mall and reminded Sydney to take her new jacket to stay warm.
Chapter 38
Thursday, December 5th
Sydney
I keep thinking I’m going to wake up from this dream of Colin of Anthony. I don’t know what I did to deserve them. They’ve made so many sacrifices for me. I need to make sure I find a nice dress so they won’t be embarrassed at the parties.
After the guys left for work I went into the playroom to look at the play collar. I flipped the light on and didn’t let my eyes wander anywhere else and went immediately to the small end table where they put it. I stopped in my tracks when I realized it wasn’t there anymore. I glanced around but didn’t see it anywhere in plain sight, so I headed out of the playroom feeling uneasy. Were they taking it away? Did they know I was in here the other day and that I put it on? I shut the lights off and closed the door behind me quietly.
Gina was coming over at noon so I had some time to work on this list. Next item was “face slapping.” Hard limit. “Fisting.” Hmmm. It said anally and vaginally. I’ve had that with Howard and it hurt badly. But, this is Colin and Anthony. Hmmm. I’m going to go with a two. I disliked it but would tolerate it for them. “Food.” It asked about if I wanted food chosen for me, to eat food off a body, from a bowl and from a hand. I liked it when they picked things out for me to eat. So, five for that one. I liked the idea of licking whip cream off of them. So I’ll put a five for that one. I didn’t really want to eat off the floor and don’t think either of them would tell me to do that. From hand…hmmm. Anthony fed me soup one of my first few nights here and fed me pancakes from his plate at a restaurant at his high rise. I rea
lly liked that. Five.
Next category was “gags.”
Colin and Anthony. Just them. I caught myself before I started picking at my fingers. Ahhh!
SB: What if you gag me and I need to say my safe word, but can’t? Then what?
I looked at it again and hit send. I knew they’d just be getting to the office but they told me I could call and text them anytime. I wasn’t going to bug them over the phone. I was just wondering how the gag thing and a safe word worked. Anthony responded.
AG: IF you were gagged, we’d place something in your hands that you could use to make noise. The noise would act as your safe word. Does that make sense?
SB: Yes, Sir. Thank you.
AG: Anytime, sunshine ;)
I loved it when he sent me happy faces. His happy faces always winked at me. Just like he does. Ok, so it sounded like he knew what he was doing with the gags. I wasn’t a big fan of it, but I trusted them. I’ll put it down as a three. I stared at the next one.
“Given away. Temporary for a scene, auction and permanent.”
No! Oh God, no. I don’t want to play with anyone else. I tried to control the rush of thoughts. The Irons party! Colin said it was an auction. With shaking fingers I began to rapidly text.
SB: Sorry to bug you. I’m on “given away.” I don’t want to play with anyone else or be sent away. Is that just if I’m bad or mess up? Please, I’ll be good.
CE: Baby, hold tight. I can’t call you right now but Anthony will. DON’T worry about this one. It’s not an option.
Not an option? The house phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Sunshine, you mark those however you want but I can assure you that none of those items would ever arise in our relationship. Our relationship is permanent with the three of us and only the three of us. Sweetie, we’ll explain more tonight, but we’d never, ever let someone else play with you. Okay?”