Aullie nearly fell out of the booth and onto the floor. She wanted to run and hide and cry her eyes out but something told her to ask a bit more. “This morning? And up until this morning, he’s said no to you?”
She nodded. “I asked him yesterday evening when we went out to dinner if we could go to L.A. tonight. I asked him to give us that closure if he wanted closure. Then, if he really didn’t want to go back to what we had, I’d leave him alone.”
“Would you really be able to do that?” Aullie asked as she could see the woman was desperate to have him back and have a child with him again.
“I would. He’s too good of a man to continue to harass. But I want him back so desperately, I’m afraid of what I’ll do if he doesn’t take me back. Not that I’m suicidal or anything. Just that I’d make a damn fool out of myself. So, that’s why I’m asking you, a person who has no stake in this at all, what should I do? My friends tell me to keep up the pressure and he’ll cave, eventually. But my mind is telling me he may have someone else that he’s not telling me about.”
“And if he did have someone else, why wouldn’t he tell you about her?”
“For fear of hurting me. He’s a good man. And on the anniversary of our son’s death, that’s the last thing he’d do is hurt me. But I might be delusional. I might be spinning my wheels and getting my hopes up. If they’re dashed, it might hurt nearly as bad as the day we lost Weston Junior.”
Aullie bit her lower lip. How could she answer the woman who now she felt terrible for? She wasn’t a third party with no stake in anything to do with Hayley or Weston. Aullie was at a crossroads she never saw herself coming to.
“Do you really think you and he could go back to the way things were?” Aullie asked. “I mean if he does have someone, that is?”
Her eyes narrowed and she picked up her phone and pulled up a picture of Weston. “Look at this man. He’s striking. Surely, if he comes in here a lot, you’d recognize him and tell me if he comes in here with a woman.”
Weston’s handsome face filled the other woman’s phone screen and made Aullie want to crawl into a hole a die. “Nope, I’ve never seen him,” she lied.
She didn’t know what else to do. Tell the woman it was she who he loved?
“Are you sure? He comes in here often. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve texted him and he told me he was here with his friends, having drinks. As a matter of fact, the night after my husband’s funeral, I called him and he was right here in this bar. He met with me that night.”
So, she was the reason he’d left that first night!
Now, Aullie was growing furious with the man. From day one he’d known his ex-wife and mother of his dead son wanted him back and he still went forward with trying to make a relationship with her. He knew exactly what he was doing and he hid it all!
“If there is another woman, what will that mean to you?” Aullie asked.
“I’m not sure. I can’t say. You see, he’s not exactly acting like the same man. When I tried to kiss him, he stopped me, citing that he couldn’t fall back in love with me so fast. Not after all that has happened. I hurt him terribly when I blamed him and left him. And it may be a thing that stops us from getting back together. But I think, if there is another woman, then it can’t be too serious or he wouldn’t be telling me he would think about it.”
“You’re right. What he has must not be as stable as it might seem to be. I wonder if he’s told this other woman about you,” Aullie mused as she found her head going light.
“I don’t know. I don’t know much anymore. I just know I want him back and I want his baby again.”
Aullie nodded then said, “If you want to know what I’d do, I’d do nothing. I’d never want to go back to what I had before. I’d move on to another future. But that’s just me.” She felt a bit of guilt with her words. “Now, you might want to do the opposite. I’ve been told I don’t really have what it takes to be in a committed relationship. Something I was blind to but now I’m seeing a lot more clearly.”
“If I want him, I should do everything I can to get him. Is that what you’re saying?” Hayley asked.
With a nod, Aullie gave the woman the answer she wanted to hear. Aullie was no fool. She knew telling that woman to move on and forget about Weston would go through one ear and right out the other. So, she told her what she wanted to hear, “Go for it.” Then Aullie added, “But you may have a fight on your hands if there is another woman. A woman who may love him as much as you do if not more.”
“I know that,” Hayley said then took a sip of her drink. “But he has to have a deeper love for me than someone new, right?”
All Aullie could do was shrug. “I have no idea, Hayley. None.”
Aulora felt hollow and unsettled. In the matter of a few minutes her world had been nearly destroyed. Was she still breathing? Yes, but barely.
“Well, I think I have to try,” Hayley said then laid a twenty on the table. “Thanks for your help, Aullie. It’s greatly appreciated.”
“Sure thing, Hayley. I hope things go the best way possible for you. I really do hope that. And I’m sorry about your baby boy. That’s a heartache no one should have to go through.
It occurred to her that Weston shared that heartache and never saw fit to talk to her about such a personal thing. Maybe they weren’t nearly as close as she thought they were. And with his talk about having babies, she was sure he wanted that wound to heal with a new baby, much the same as Hayley did.
Would she be wrong in confronting Weston about the whole thing?
He was an injured party too. And he obviously didn’t have the strong feelings for her, she thought he did. He’d have told her about the baby and the ex-wife if that were the case.
Aullie found herself walking the woman to the door and when Hayley hugged her, she nearly broke down and told her everything. But she stopped herself from doing that.
“Good luck, Hayley.”
“Thanks. I’m going to need it,” Hayley replied then left the bar.
With a heavy heart, Aullie went to the bathroom where she promptly fell apart.
When his cell rang at fifteen after nine that night, he felt a chill run through him. It was Aulora and he was steps away from getting on the jet, Hayley waited for him on.
After looking at the screen for a while, he swiped it. “Hello, peach.”
“Hey,” came her sad voice.
“What’s wrong?” he asked her with concern.
“West, I know you told me you’re going to Los Angeles and I know you told me it was best if I don’t know. But can you explain to me why that is?”
He was stumped for an answer. How could he tell her it would hurt her to know he was taking his ex-wife to visit the grave of their dead son? Who would take that well?
“How about we talk about that tomorrow when I get back?” he tried to stall her.
“I’d really like it if you could tell me now.”
“I’m about to get on the jet right now. I really must hurry.”
“West, do you really love me the way you say you do?” her question made his heart race.
“Of course, Aulora. Why would you ask such a thing?”
“I don’t know,” she said then sighed so heavily he heard it over the phone. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell me why you’re going?”
He was positive he didn’t want to tell her why he was taking his ex-wife anywhere. He hadn’t even told her he had an ex-wife. And no present girlfriend can take hearing that their man is heading off anywhere with their ex. “Aulora, we can talk when I get back.”
“Are you sure?” she asked him and he could swear he heard tears threaded in her voice. “Will you tell me everything when you get back?”
Would he?
He didn’t know what to say. He’d told Hayley that he’d think about getting back together with her. He too wanted a baby in his life again. He loved Aulora but there was still a strand of love in his heart for Hayley too. And Hayley wan
ted to go for it. Hayley wanted to start a family right away.
They had been happy until the accident, he kept telling himself. And he had no idea if he’d be able to talk to Aulora about the son he lost and the wife he lost right along with him. “We’ll see.”
“We’ll see?” she asked, sounding hurt.
“Do you have something you’d like to say to me, Aulora?” he asked as he felt she too was hiding something.
“No,” she said, quietly. “No, Weston. I want you to know I love you. I want you to know that I can see a future with you. I want you to know that children are in that future. I’m not going to lie and tell you what I know you want to hear. It will be a few years before I start to get ready for them. If you truly love me, you can wait for that. If you don’t then you’ll move on. I just want to say this to you, love is what a relationship should be based on. Nothing else. Do you think the same way?”
He wasn’t sure about that. “I think love should be at the core. Then there’re are a number of other things to consider as well. Like what you both see in the future. You see, I don’t want to lie to you, either. I want a child. I want to start a family.”
“We’ve only been together for a week, Weston.”
Her words brought another round of chills to attack his body and he shivered. She was right after all. And it wasn’t her fault his ex had put the thought of seeing a baby with his eyes into his head. “You’re right. You are absolutely right.”
“So?” she asked.
“So, you are right. You and I have only been together, solidly, for one week. And it’s not even fair for me to ask you such a thing. I know this. I do. And when I get back, you and I can sit down and discuss things. For now, though I must get on the jet and attend to some business.”
“Are you coming back to me, West?” her words caught him off guard.
Was he?
Or was he seriously considering what Hayley was offering? “We can talk when I get back,” that was all he could say.
He knew he was keeping her dangling on the end of his line. While fishing off the other side of the boat too. But he didn’t know what else to do. He needed to be true to himself too, didn’t he?
It wasn’t anyone’s fault the women coincided in his life on the same damn night. Was it?
“I love you,” he said. “I’ll call you tomorrow when I get back.”
“I love you too,” Aullie said then ended the call.
Her heart was so heavy, she couldn’t think. She went to the back, took off her apron and hung it up then put her heavy coat on and left the bar without clocking out or saying a word to anyone.
The jet’s interior was small. But the leather chairs and the granite table tops made it seem much more glamorous than it really was. Weston took the last step into the cabin, finding Hayley already seated with a glass of wine in her hand. “Hi,” he said with a weak smile.
Her smile was just as weak as she patted the seat across the aisle from hers. “Are you ready to go?”
He nodded and took the seat. The pilot came out of the small cockpit. “Are we ready to go, Mr. Calloway?”
“We are,” he told him.
The plan was to get to L.A. that night. He’d already reserved them two hotel rooms and in the morning, they’d go eat breakfast then go to visit their son’s grave. They’d leave him some flowers then jet back to New York. But he could tell that Hayley wasn’t going to let the opportunity to get to him go by.
She licked her lips and placed the empty glass in the holder next to her. The liquid courage was already coursing through her system and the door to the bedroom in the back of the cabin was open. She’d already been in there and it made him nervous.
“I talked to someone this evening while I waited for you to get off work,” she said.
The engine started and the plane began to move. And, for some reason, Weston’s heart began to ache. “You talked to someone? About what?”
“About you and me and what we lost and how I have to take a lot of the blame for that,” she said.
He hated when she did that. “I’ve told you countless times not to say that. You and I were damn kids, Hayley. You were only nineteen, for the love of God. You’d just lost your first born and you lost him while I was at the wheel. I can’t fault you for how you felt about that.”
Her hand moved over his and he let her hold his hand. “I left you to grieve alone and not only over your son but over us as well. We’d been together for a year and a half before our son came along. I was your first love, Weston.”
“And I was yours,” he said as he looked into her violet eyes.
He’d looked into those eyes so many times with nothing but love. Some of that love was still there but most of it was just gone. Ten years is a long time to try to keep something up that was completely thrown away.
“You were,” she said as the plane began to ascend into the night sky. They held hands as it went up and Weston had to confess he felt something.
When the plane leveled off, he got up and poured himself a Scotch and refilled her wine glass. “I’ve been keeping secrets, Hayley. And I think it’s time to make a confession.”
“You have a girlfriend,” she said as he handed her the wine glass.
She’d surprised him and he nodded then sat back down. “And I love her.”
“More than the love you have for me?” she asked then sipped her drink.
He nodded again and he felt bad when she closed her eyes. “But she and I aren’t nearly ready to get married and start a family.”
Hayley breathed out a sigh of relief. “And we are.”
He shrugged and took a long drink. “But I love her. So, you can see my quandary.”
“I can. Believe me, I can. The young woman I talked to helped me to see the other woman’s point of view a bit better. You see, I’ve thought you had another woman in your life.”
“I wouldn’t call her another woman, Hayley. She’s really been the only woman. Your husband hasn’t been dead a month and already you’re looking to get hitched to me again. That’s cause for concern, don’t you agree?”
“No,” she said and placed her wine glass back in the holder. “Look, we’ve wasted ten years. I don’t think we should waste any more time. We know we have love for each other.”
He held up his hand to stop her. “Listen, there is love between us. Maybe there always will be. But I talked to you based on finding out who it was that killed your husband and for no other reason. I had no intention of rekindling our relationship.”
“About that,” she said, looking a bit sheepish. “You can call off your spies. My husband was involved in an organization that you nor your spies need to get involved with. I knew the risks he was taking. I don’t want you to take any more risks and find yourself or someone you hired, dead.”
“Shit! Are you fucking serious?” Weston stood and paced in the tiny cabin. “Hayley, how could you?”
“I’ve wanted you back for the last few years. I just didn’t know how to get out of my marriage and get back to you,” she confessed.
“How selfish! How God damned selfish!” He went to the back and saw rose petals had been spread all over the bed. A thing he’d done for her when they first made love.
He picked one of the pink petals up and rubbed it between his fingertips. His heart felt warm and when he felt her arms go around his waist and her head lay against his back, he felt something. He wasn’t sure what but he did feel something.
“I miss him,” she mumbled.
“I’m sure you do. He was your husband for ten years. You’re bound to miss him.”
“No, I mean that young man you were. I miss him. I miss that guy. That guy who’d take me to the beach and we’d play in the waves then make out in the sand or inside of an empty lifeguard tower.”
He chuckled then stopped as he thought she should be missing the man she’d had a life with for the last ten years. He turned around and held her then kissed the top of her head.
&
nbsp; “Hayley, you should be thinking about your husband, not me.”
“You are my husband. When I think of you, I think that. You were my first love. My first husband. The first man I had a baby with. The first man I lost a baby with. You were my first everything.”
“Including your first divorce,” he reminded her.
“Can’t you forgive me for that?” she asked as she looked up at him.
He took her chin in his hand. “I forgave you for that the moment you left me. But I can’t forget that and I can’t stop thinking how you say you’ve been thinking about me for the last three years while you were with the man you were married to. That’s more than a bit off-putting.”
“You want me to lie about how I’ve felt?” she asked him then reached down to pick up a pink rose petal. “I remembered all these years how you covered your bed in these that night we first made love in your bedroom. I want us to climb under that blanket and go right back to that night. I swear to you, if you don’t feel a thing, we can end it right then and there. But if you do, then I want you to give us another chance.”
“You do realize that I have an idea you’re on no birth control. If I did such a thing and felt nothing close to what I’d need to feel to start over with you, then I’d have run the risk of getting you pregnant and ending what I have been building with another woman, right?”
She nodded and smiled. “If I did get pregnant then it would mean this is meant to be. Don’t you think?”
He looked at her and wondered how her mind worked in such ways. He couldn’t deny they still had some chemistry. Nothing nearly as strong as what he shared with Aulora, though.
Weston sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Hayley down to sit next to him. “I can’t do this to you. I can’t tell you what it is you want to hear. I love another woman.”
“Who isn’t ready to invest in you the way I am,” she added.
“That said, what if we did have another child and lost that one too. You’d leave me again, possibly. We both know you can get right back into that mindset if the worst happens. And I’d have lost a true love. Not that you weren’t one because you were back then. But I’d have lost a future with someone wonderful. Maybe someone I was meant to be with.”
Dr. Orgasm (A Holiday Romance Collection Book 2) Page 55