“Maybe Karen knew something…something that could get her fired, or something that could embarrass her, which would be the same thing.”
“Yeah, but what?”
“I don’t know. That’s what we have to find out.” Missy shrugged. “And what about Connie? You said yourself she gave you a weird vibe.”
“That was code,” Noreen said.
“Code for what?”
Missy finished her wine and went to get more. She nearly tripped over Cody, who was sprawled right next to the couch.
“This dog is going to be the death of me,” Noreen said, before stepping into the kitchen to get a refill.
“Code for what?” Missy called out.
“I think she’s a lesbian.”
Missy thought about it. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Noreen came out of the kitchen with the bottle. She had refilled her own glass and poured more into Missy’s still half-full glass without asking. “I’m pretty sure.”
“How do you know?”
Noreen plopped down on the couch, miraculously not spilling any wine. “Because she checked me out.”
Missy nodded. “I did notice that.”
Noreen sipped her wine. “Which means…”
“What?”
Noreen looked at her over the rim of the wine glass as she took another sip. “Really, Miss?”
“What?” Missy had no idea what Noreen was thinking.
Noreen put her glass down. “You said you saw her and Karen arguing…”
At first the words didn’t mean anything to Missy. But then it dawned on her. It would have made sense, but Missy knew Karen. Karen liked men. All they had ever talked about were boys.
“Uh-uh. No way.” Missy shook her head. “Karen liked men.”
“Maybe she liked both.” Noreen sat back and folded her hands in her lap. “It is possible, Missy.”
Missy was still shaking her head. “We were close…she would have told me.”
“Are you sure?” Noreen asked. “You only talked, what? Once a month?”
“Once a month or more, over the last twenty years. And in middle school, seriously, all we talked about was boys.”
Noreen reached for her glass. “Okay, you obviously knew her a lot better than I did.”
Missy tipped her head to the side. “Let’s assume you’re right. And let’s say they argued over their relationship…that just gives Connie motive, doesn’t it?”
“So Connie gave her tape worm, somehow?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s a weird way to kill somebody.”
“But the best way in Karen’s case. It would look like it was an accident, like Karen had done it to herself.”
Noreen thought it over and nodded. “So you’ve got two suspects. Anybody else?”
“I had another idea, but it seems even crazier.”
“I doubt it could be any crazier.”
Missy threw a pillow at her. “Mrs. Butterworth said someone had revealed the identities of people that were in the Diet Club…maybe she or someone thought Karen had broken trust.”
Noreen just stared, wide-eyed, at her.
Missy held up a hand. “You weren’t there. You didn’t read and sign the contract I did. These people were fanatical about their anonymity, not breaking trust, and being fully supportive of each other. It might not sound like a big deal to you, but they took this very seriously.”
“So again, somebody slipped Karen a mickey with tape worms or tape worm eggs in it—”
“Don’t say that. I’m going to puke.”
Noreen just kept going. “—because they thought she’d told tales out of school?”
“It’s just a theory,” Missy said. “I have to follow it.”
“Okay. Anybody else?”
“You mean, other than Abella and Connie and literally everybody else in the Diet Club? No, I think that’s enough for now.”
Chapter Eight
Missy woke early the next day. She’d planned on sleeping in a little bit, rising in time to get ready for Karen’s funeral. After another thirty minutes of tossing and turning, Missy gave up on trying to get back to sleep. Her mind would just not let her. So she got out of bed and figured she’d use her time wisely.
She went downstairs and fed Cody. The dog devoured her dry food and then traipsed to the back door. Missy opened it and let her out. Then she went into the kitchen to get herself something. She had cereal and energy bars. She could have made herself a smoothie in the blender, that would have been the healthy option, but she was feeling lazy so instead she grabbed an energy bar. It was low-cal, low-carb, low-fat, low-everything, including taste. She choked it down, let Cody back in, and then got onto her computer.
For the next hour, she researched tape worms and the tape worm diet. Almost immediately, she realized her mistake. She should not have eaten anything before reading about tape worms. Eventually, the nausea got the better of her. Missy had to race to the bathroom.
Cody nudged the door open with her nose and came in to make sure Missy was okay.
“I thought the first two cases were difficult,” Missy said. “But this is going to be the worst.”
Cody wagged her tail. Missy petted her and rubbed her side.
Back in the living room, Missy took a deep breath and went back to her research. She didn’t have anything left to vomit, so she felt reasonably safe.
The tape worm diet was actually a thing. There were pills you could take. Apparently some quack had proposed a theory that thousands of years ago, back when we were still nomadic hunters, being infected by tape worm was actually the norm. Tape worms kept us thin and actually helped us combat other diseases and infection. Several people referred to it as a symbiotic relationship. Going onto a few diet forums, Missy found more people than she would have thought arguing in favor of the tape worm diet. All of them claimed they had experienced dramatic weight loss safely.
But how could one die from tape worms? Missy found a few articles about the dangers. The side effects were numerous, and one of them was severe diarrhea leading to dehydration. Karen had complained to her of having that recently and of course she’d run to the bathroom that night…
Missy was no doctor, but she knew dehydration was dangerous. People died from it. Was that how Karen had died?
Missy felt herself getting queasy again and was forced to close her laptop. She couldn’t read anymore and she certainly couldn’t see any more images of absurdly long worms that had been taken out of people’s bodies. She really needed to understand how Karen had died, but the only way she could do that would be to go through the Templeton Police. Tyler couldn’t—no, wouldn’t—help her. Which meant trying to get in front of PJ. She didn’t relish the thought. When they’d talked, he’d given her little to no real information and he hadn’t bothered returning her last call. It was obvious he didn’t want to talk and since they’d determined her cause of death was the infection, they weren’t treating this like a murder. In PJ’s eyes, the case was closed.
When Missy next checked the time, she realized she was going to be late to the funeral if she didn’t get a move on. She really needed to wash her hair, but hadn’t given herself enough time so again she settled on a body shower and put on a different dress. This one was grey and not as slimming, but at least she could take a deep breath while wearing it. She checked herself in the mirror, petted Cody on her way out, then hit the road.
***
Missy had driven by the Templeton Cemetery more times than she could count, but she’d never been inside. The grounds stretched pretty far, with rolling hills separating the various sections. The older markers were by the entrance. Missy passed them and the conspicuous mausoleums. She’d never given it much thought before now, but she wondered how she wanted her own remains to be treated. Did she want to be buried somewhere or cremated?
She really didn’t know. Thinking about her own funeral made her wonder how many people would even be in attendance. Her mot
her would be gone by then. She had plenty of casual friends in Grove City, most people tended to like her, but Noreen was her only close friend at this point. And of course, she had no man in her life and no children. The thought depressed her. Her hypothetical funeral sounded like a pretty pathetic affair.
Missy added her truck to the line of cars parked just off the tiny strip of road. There were so many people here. Karen had been an only child but her extended family was large and she’d obviously made a lot of friends over the years. And, Missy thought grimly, she’d died young so there were still plenty of people to attend her service.
Mr. and Mrs. Wise had skipped a more formal ceremony in a church, instead deciding to have the minister say a few words over the grave. Missy followed the herd toward the open grave. There were already so many people here she could barely see the coffin and couldn’t get close to Karen’s parents, who were seated next to the grave and holding hands.
Missy felt eyes on her and found Connie staring at her from across the way. Missy nodded and Connie did the same. For the most part, Missy didn’t see any new people here this morning that hadn’t attended the viewing last night.
With one major exception.
Ron Moore seemed out of place in a nice black suit and bold blue tie with his shaved head, bushy beard, and tattoos crawling up his neck. Missy remembered he worked as an electrician. She’d only been around him a couple of times but just watching him around Karen, she knew how much the man had loved her friend. Thinking back now, Missy remembered Karen mentioning a couple times that they’d struggled with jealousy issues. That was Karen’s nice way of saying Ron was the jealous type. Perhaps that had been the cause of the eventual split.
Could Ron be a suspect? It was possible, she guessed, but there were some facts working against the theory. First, they’d split up three years ago. Second, Ron would have needed to sneak Karen pills. Not an easy feat if they weren’t seeing each other or speaking anymore. Karen would be unlikely to take pills Ron had given her, unless he’d done it surreptitiously somehow.
And admittedly, it seemed like a far-fetched way to kill someone. There was no guarantee the person would die from a tape worm infection, just going off the accounts Missy had read this morning online. If a jealous ex-lover wanted to you, would he do it by giving you tape worms?
It seemed unlikely.
Still, Missy knew Karen. There was no way her friend would have ever purposely, knowingly ingested tape worms. And there was little chance of her accidentally getting infected. In this country, there were so many regulations around food…if it had happened that way, surely by now there would be a story in the news about some kind of recall.
Yes. She was sure, no matter what anybody else said. Someone had given Karen tape worms.
She half-listened to the minister. Missy had been raised somewhat religious and still believed in a higher power, but she didn’t think she needed anyone to help her understand what God was. She preferred her own spirituality to the trappings of an organized religion.
The minister concluded the eulogy and invited everyone to come pay their final respects. Missy got in the long line. Last night she cried many tears over Karen. Today would be no different. The closer she got the coffin, the more choked up she got.
Two lines of mourners converged into one and by luck of the draw, Ron Moore ended up getting right in front of her. There was a flicker of recognition in his eyes, and Missy gave him a sad smile.
“Hey, Ron.”
“Missy.” His voice was thick “Nice to see you.”
He offered his hand. Missy couldn’t help but notice the tattoos that poked out of the bottom of his shirt sleeve and twisted around his wrist. She’d never understood the appeal of permanently inking one’s body.
She shook his hand. It was rough and callused.
“Maybe we could catch up after?” Missy asked.
He looked at her funny, as if wondering what on earth they could talk about. But then he smiled politely.
“Sure.”
They filed toward the coffin the rest of the way in silence. As they got close, Missy bent to pick up one of the carnations off the pile. Mr. and Mrs. Wise were still seated on the other side of the coffin. They were looking at the coffin, but turned so they could hold each other’s hands. A lump the size of a golf ball formed in Missy’s throat as she stooped to place the flower atop the casket along with the rest. She put two fingers to her lips and then touched the coffin. For a moment she hovered over Karen, part of her still not believing her friend was gone.
Under her breath, Missy said, “I promise.”
She didn’t need to say the rest. Wherever Karen was right now, Missy knew she understood.
Misty-eyed, she moved on away from the coffin. Mr. and Mrs. Wise got up to hug her and she was really touched. So far she hadn’t seen them do that with anybody else. Missy clung to them both, not wanting to let go, not wanting to let Karen go, but eventually she had to. They were burying Karen today, but Missy knew from losing her father that they would continue to bury her for a long time, maybe forever.
Missy had forgotten about catching up with Ron after the service until she saw him striding quickly toward his car with his head down like he didn’t want anybody to notice him. Missy hurried and raised her voice before he pulled the door of his SUV shut.
“Ron!”
The man looked out the door at her. For a moment, she feared he’d just wave and drive off but she closed the distance between them quickly enough he had to talk to her.
“Hey, Missy.” He left his door open but didn’t get out of the SUV. She took this to mean he planned on ending the conversation quickly.
“Hey.” She smiled up at him, hoping she came across as friendly. “It’s good to see you, considering the circumstances.”
He nodded and his eyes drifted away till he was looking out the windshield. “Yeah.”
“I still don’t believe it.”
She waited for him to look at her. It took a full ten seconds for him to turn back. “Me either.”
“I know.” She shook her head. “And how it happened…”
“Yeah,” he said slowly. “I heard it was an infection?”
His last sentence was somewhere between a statement and a question. “You didn’t hear the specifics?”
He shook his head. “Why would I have?”
She frowned. “I just know how close you were and being engaged to Karen, I was assum—”
“That was three years ago, Missy. And once we were split up for good, her parents went cold on me. They acted like I shouldn’t have even come to the viewing last night.”
She held out a palm. “Sorry, Ron, I didn’t mean anything.”
His whole body was tense. His one hand hadn’t left the steering wheel. She could tell he was dying to get out of here.
“It’s public knowledge now so I can tell you,” she said. “She was infected with tape worms.”
“Tape worms?”
She nodded, expecting more of a reaction from him. “Can you believe that?”
He looked away again. “Actually, I can.”
“What?” The word came out sounding much more challenging than she’d wanted.
Ron kept gazing out of the windshield. “Her weight really bothered her. It bled over into everything, it was all she thought about. It definitely affected our relationship.”
“Her weight?” Missy had a hand on her hip. She didn’t care how big or tough he looked, if this guy blamed Karen’s weight for their failed engagement, she might actually throw a punch.
Finally Ron looked back at her. When he did, his eyes were hostile. “Yeah, Missy, her weight. By the end of our relationship, she couldn’t go more than a day making a joke about how fat she was or crying about how she couldn’t keep the pounds off. It consumed her.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” Missy couldn’t help but get angry. “You have no idea what it’s like to be significantly overweight, I’ll bet.”
“Actually, I do,” Ron said. “That’s how we met originally. We were in the same diet club in our late twenties. We helped each other.”
Missy was taken aback. Ron was trim, like she’d been exercising his whole life. She would have never thought he’d been obese before. Thinking back, she hadn’t met Ron until he and Karen had been dating for almost a year.
“I lost eighty pounds after I met her. In a way, I think I did it for her. I wanted to be sexy and…anyway, I’ve got to get back to work.”
Missy wasn’t letting him get away that easily. “Hold on, Ron. Do you seriously think Karen would have given herself tape worms?”
He didn’t hesitate. “Yes. There’s no doubt in mind she could have done something like that.”
He tried to shut the door, but she shot her hand out and latched on. “Yeah? Well, I don’t. That wasn’t Karen.”
“I have to leave. Take your hand off my door.”
She let go expecting him to pull it closed without saying anything else. But he surprised her.
“By the time we broke up, she was practically out of her mind about her weight.”
Missy wasn’t letting him get the last word, especially when that last word was harsh. She decided to go for the jugular.
“She was probably out of her mind for dating you.” She shook her head. “Of all people, you should have understood what she was going through. You struggled with weight yourself!”
Ron’s eyes narrowed. “So obviously she never told you.”
“Told me what?”
“I broke up with her, Missy.”
She heard the words but it was like they were coming from far away and took a long time to get to her. By the time they did, Ron had driven off.
Like a zombie, she ambled to her car. But instead of getting in, she stood next to it with her hand on the door handle. Now it made sense why Karen had been so reluctant to share details of her break-up with Ron. He had ended things. Maybe she’d been too embarrassed.
For a brief instant, she’d ruled Ron out as the murderer. He’d broken up with her. That had happened over three years ago. Why would he come back now and try to kill her with tape worms? It sounded preposterous. It was the lamest theory she’d ever come up with on her admittedly few (three and counting) murder investigations.
Diet Club Death: Missy DeMeanor Cozy Mystery #3 (Missy DeMeanor Cozy Mysteries) Page 6