by Lori Foster
At the front door to the apartment building, her neighbors stood watching, huge grins on their faces. When Olivia laughed, they all waved.
“Like Snow White, they’re seeing you off with the prince?”
“Hmm. You consider yourself a prince, do you?”
Tony waited for her to get in, then went around to the driver’s side. After he’d started the car, he turned to her. “I only meant they’re awfully protective of you.”
Olivia had to agree on that. “And it’s so strange, considering that I’ve kept to myself. I’m friendly, and I don’t go out of my way to avoid them, but neither have I ever sought them out.”
“You don’t have to. There’s just something about you, a genuine feeling, that makes people trust you. And today, with the world what it is, trust is everything.”
She looked away. “It’s sometimes foolish to trust anyone.”
“I trust you.”
Oh, why did he have to do this now? “Tony, don’t. I don’t want to talk about important issues or discuss anything heavy. I just… I want to have fun today.”
Glancing at her, he reached for her hand. “And you have fun with my family?”
“I really do. They’re all crazy and happy and so accepting, it’s impossible not to have fun around them.”
She could tell he wanted to say more, but he held his peace. “Okay. But tomorrow we have to talk.”
Not really wanting to, but seeing no way around it, she nodded. They would have to talk. Time was running out, and Tony deserved to be set free.
They spent the rest of the drive in silence, holding hands and watching the snow fall.
When they reached his mother’s place, Tony walked her to the front door, his arm around her shoulders. The house was decorated with bright Christmas lights, and a hearty wreath hung on the door. Tony tipped up her chin and kissed her. “Smile, sweetheart. Today is just for eating and visiting and, later, making love. Agreed?”
“Of course.” She laughed as he pretended to be surprised by her quick agreement.
“Have I spoiled you, Olivia?”
“Shamefully.”
“So you’d planned on seducing me later?”
“I had every intention of doing so, yes.”
His hand slipped under her coat and lightly caressed her waist. “Does this mean you’re wearing something sexy and scandalous and guaranteed to drive me nuts under this dress?”
With wide-eyed innocence, she said, “Of course not.”
He frowned, and just as the door started to open, she whispered, “I’m not wearing anything at all.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
OLIVIA FELT THE first cramps right after dinner, but she ignored them. She was used to such pain, knew it was only her body reminding her that she wasn’t what a woman should be. Since she’d had her first period when she was eleven, she’d suffered the cramps. Not normal period cramps, because there was nothing normal about her body’s functions.
Sometimes the pains were pretty bad, other times only annoying, but she always managed to function despite their existence, ignoring them until they went away. Except when she’d been a child, and that was when her parents had taken her to the hospital.
She couldn’t remember what actual medical term had been given to her condition, but it had to do with her ovaries and the fact they didn’t function properly. She’d had surgery to remove a horribly painful mass, and lost one of her ovaries in the process. Since then she was so irregular, she sometimes went several months without menstruating.
Her mother had explained that she likely wouldn’t have any children, and Olivia understood why. You couldn’t very well conceive with only one ovary, especially if you didn’t ovulate. She wasn’t totally ignorant about her bodily functions.
There were times when she would have gone to the doctor, just to make certain her pain was normal, for her. But being examined by a man when she was still so innocent and shy had made her dread the thought of even a routine visit.
Now, as John made a jest and everyone laughed, Olivia was about to smile when she felt another cramp and winced instead. Tony leaned toward her. “Are you all right?”
He’d kept his voice low, thankfully. She didn’t want to disrupt everyone’s good time. “I’m fine. I think I just ate a little too much.”
He grinned. “Me, too. I had one too many desserts.” He leaned closer still, his lips touching her ear. “You’ll have to help me work off some calories later. Got any ideas?”
At the moment, all she wanted was a pain pill. She patted his arm and got up from the table. “I’ll think on it. Excuse me, please.” Picking up her purse, she was aware of Tony’s frowning gaze following her.
When she reached the powder room, she fished out two over-the-counter pain tablets and swallowed them, then leaned against the sink. The pain was a little more acute this time than it normally was. She wondered if the fact that she’d become sexually active had any bearing on it.
She waited a few minutes more, then left the room, only to find Tony standing there waiting for her. He searched her face with his gaze. “What is it, Olivia? What’s wrong?”
What was one more lie? She tried surreptitiously to hug her stomach. “I’m feeling a little under the weather, Tony. Maybe I’m catching a cold.”
Reaching out, he felt her forehead and then nodded. “You feel a little warm. Why don’t we go ahead and leave?”
“No.” She didn’t want this day to end, not when there were so few days left. “I’m all right.”
“You don’t look all right, honey. You look like you’re in pain.”
“It’s nothing, I promise.”
She sounded a touch too desperate, which made Tony study her a little more thoroughly. “All right. But I want you to sit down and take it easy.”
“The women are all helping to clean up the kitchen.”
“No, they’re not. The men have decided to do it. Now go rest somewhere, okay? And promise me, if you start to feel any worse, you’ll let me know.”
“I will,” she lied, determined to stay for the duration of the family get-together.
But an hour later, the cramps were getting to be too much to ignore, and she couldn’t put off leaving any longer. She glanced at Tony and he immediately stood, as if he’d only been waiting for a signal from her. It amazed her that he seemed to read her so easily, that he knew her thoughts and her feelings.
He did a wonderful job of excusing their early departure. Olivia knew, judging by the grin on John’s face and the wink Kate sent to her, that everyone thought they were leaving so they could be alone.
When they got into his car, Olivia found that Tony had a similar idea. “I’ll take you to my house. I can look after you if you are getting sick.”
Appalled by such an idea, Olivia shook her head and tried to think of a viable reason to refuse his generous offer. Tending her when she was sick had never been part of the deal. “I’d rather go home, Tony. I’ll be more comfortable there.”
He glanced at her, then nodded. “All right. I’ll grab a few things from my house and stay with you.”
Until now she’d managed to avoid having him spend the night or any length of time in her apartment. Generally she met him at the door, and within minutes they would leave. She wanted her home to feel the same once their time together was over, and she knew that would be impossible if he slept in her bed or ate in her kitchen or showered in her bathroom. She would be reminded of him everywhere she looked, and she couldn’t let that happen.
She reached over and touched his arm. “Tony, I’m sorry. I really am. But I’d rather be alone. Whenever I’ve been sick—”
“But you’re never sick! You haven’t missed a day of work in years.”
True. But the cramps had never been this bad before. She bit her lip and looked out her side window. “I’ll be more comfortable by myself.”
There was an awful silence and she knew she’d hurt him when that had never been her intent. She felt ch
oked by remorse, but there was no way out, no way to make up for all she’d done, all the lies she’d told.
Finally Tony said very quietly, “I’ll take you home. But I want your promise you’ll call me if you need anything.”
“Of course.”
They both knew she was lying.
*
OLIVIA FINALLY ACCEPTED that something was seriously wrong. The pain had nagged her off and on since she’d come home, and she’d started to bleed. Not heavily, but still, it was an unusual occurrence with her periods so horribly irregular. Then suddenly, at midnight, the pain seemed to explode. She didn’t think she could drive herself to the hospital, but as much as she hated to admit it, she needed to go.
This pain no longer seemed familiar; it was nothing like what she was used to dealing with, so sharp she could barely breathe. She had a vague recollection of similar pain when she’d been a child, but it was too hard, feeling as she did, to remember if the two situations were at all the same.
She couldn’t disrupt Tony, not after he’d called to check on her and she’d more or less told him not to bother. She’d been curt, as much from the pain as from the struggle to keep from giving in and telling him she needed him. She’d used him enough as it was, and now she didn’t know who to turn to.
When she decided she couldn’t wait a moment longer, she pulled a coat on over her pajamas. Bent over, holding her middle, she went into the hallway and knocked on Hilda’s door. As usual, one knock had every door on that floor opening, and soon all her neighbors were there, fussing over her, fretting. Very quickly, Hilda reappeared fully clothed, car keys in her hand.
Held between Hilda and kindly old Leroy, Olivia made her way outside. Hilda spoke to those who followed. “I’ll call and let everyone know when we’ve made it to the hospital. If I don’t call within a half hour, send a car after us. That snow is really starting to pile up.”
Olivia curled into the backseat, and then felt the tears start. It wasn’t the pain, but the simple truth that she had good friends and hadn’t realized it. Even while avoiding relationships, she’d still managed to form a few. She was only lying to herself when she claimed to be all alone. She was so touched by the sudden revelation, she couldn’t halt the tears.
“It’s all right, Olivia. Don’t worry. I’ll have you there in no time.” The woman drove like a snail, but Olivia knew Hilda hated the snow. “When we get there, do you want me to call that boyfriend of yours?”
Olivia smiled, hearing Tony referred to as a boyfriend. There was nothing boyish about him, and he was now so much more than a friend. “No. Don’t bother him, Hilda. I’ll call him myself, later.”
“He’d want to be with you, you know.”
And then he’d find out what a fraud she was. “No. Please. I don’t want to worry him.”
Hilda didn’t answer.
When they arrived at the hospital, Hilda ran inside, demanding attention, as Olivia struggled to get out of the car. Before she’d even set both feet on the ground, two nurses were there, assisting her into a wheelchair and rushing her in. The questions flew at her, one right after the other, but she was in so much pain she could barely answer. After that, she lost track of events as they ran an endless series of tests.
When a doctor came in and asked her if she might possibly be pregnant, she told him no and briefly explained what she knew of her own medical history. He wrote notes, smiled at her, then went about ordering a pregnancy test. Olivia balked at the idea. She wasn’t up to creeping into the bathroom and utilizing their little plastic cups, especially for something that seemed totally unnecessary. But she was too sick to argue. She did as the doctor asked, then crawled back onto the narrow metal bed.
A few minutes later, the doctor leaned against the side rail and gave her a wry look. “Well, Ms. Anderson, it seems you are indeed pregnant.”
Olivia stared. “That’s impossible.”
“I assure you, it isn’t.” He smiled benignly and went on. “I’d like to do an ultrasound. It will tell us exactly what’s going on, why you’re having so much pain and bleeding.”
Olivia felt numb. Pregnant? She couldn’t be pregnant. “But I only have one ovary.”
“One is all it takes. Granted, your chances were decreased, but still—it happens.”
“But I almost never have periods!”
He patted her hand and stood. “Let’s do the ultrasound and then go from there, okay? Try not to worry.”
Worry? She was too dumbfounded to worry. And then it hit her and she almost shouted with pleasure. She was pregnant! She would have her own baby, Tony’s baby. The pain seemed to lessen with the knowledge, but it was still a reminder that all was not well, and she began praying, wanting this baby so badly she would have promised anything to hold on to it.
It was quite a while before the doctor was standing beside her again. He was a nice enough man, she thought, surprised that she actually felt comfortable with him. In fact, she was anxious to speak with him, to hear how her baby was faring.
He spoke in specific terms for her, making the situation very clear. She wasn’t far enough along for the ultrasound to show the baby, but the test confirmed that she had a large cyst on her one remaining ovary—and it had ruptured.
She immediately began to panic, remembering what had happened when she was so young, remembering the surgery, losing an ovary… The doctor pulled up a chair and took her hand.
“Your ovary did rupture, and until your placenta is large enough and produces enough progesterone to maintain the pregnancy, I’ll need to give you progesterone and hope it works. Things could still go wrong, and you could lose the baby, but there’s no reason to start borrowing trouble yet.”
Olivia had never considered herself a weak person. She drew on her strength now, mustering her courage. “I don’t need to borrow trouble. It seems I have enough as it is.”
“I gather you want to keep the baby.”
“Oh, very much! I just never dreamed…”
“When did you lose your other ovary?”
“I was twelve. Not long after I’d started my period. I understood I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant. And since my cycle seemed so haywire…”
“It was a common misconception years ago that a woman couldn’t conceive with only one ovary, but as you see it is definitely possible.” He grinned at her, and she grinned back.
“Yes.” Hugging her arms around herself, she asked, “What now?”
“I’d like to keep you here until we can run a few more tests, rule out the possibility of a tubal pregnancy, make certain everything is as it should be. Also, I’d like you to come back a couple of times for blood tests. We’ll check the hormone level, which should double in two days if everything is okay. We’ll run the test again, just to make sure everything checks out.”
He wrote a few notes on her chart, then asked, “Do you have an obstetrician in mind?”
“No.” She was in a daze, answering questions she’d never imagined hearing.
“I can recommend someone if you’d like. You should see him right away, then set up frequent appointments until you get past the first three months.”
“And after the first three months?”
“Well, then, the risk is greatly reduced.”
Olivia hung on to that thought long after the doctor had left. He’d given her codeine for the pain, and it was tolerable now, but she couldn’t rest. Her hand remained on her belly, and she couldn’t seem to stop crying.
With a little luck and a lot of care, she was going to have a baby.
And there was no way she’d ever give her baby up to anyone—not even Tony.
Olivia worried that thought over and over in her mind, but it always came down to the same thing. She’d have to tell Tony the truth now. She wouldn’t keep the baby from him, but neither would she give it up. He had a right to know. She knew he would be a wonderful father, even if he didn’t have the situation he wanted, even if he was enraged by her deception.
For one brief, insane moment, she wondered whether Tony would go so far as to offer to marry her, just to get the baby. It was possible, but she wouldn’t let that happen. She wasn’t the average woman with the average pregnancy. She was more like a miracle. What would it do to Tony if he married her and she lost the baby? Just the thought had her squeezing her abdomen in a protective embrace; still, it was a very real possibility.
No. Tony needed to find a healthy woman who could give him as many children as he wanted, not just a miracle baby with risks. She’d confess to him, and she would set him free.
It turned out to be the longest night of her life—and the most joyous. A baby, she just couldn’t believe she was having a baby.
*
OLIVIA ARRIVED HOME the next afternoon to a ringing phone. She was feeling much better, more like herself, and she rushed to answer before the caller hung up.
Breathless, weak from her painful ordeal and a sleepless night, she gasped out, “Hello?”
“Where the hell have you been?”
Oh my. She straightened, staring at the receiver in her hand. Tony was in quite a temper. Olivia bit her lip and tried to think of what to say to him.
“Olivia?” There was an edge of near panic to his tone. “Dammit, I’m sorry.” He gave a long sigh and she could hear his frustration, could almost see him running his hand through his dark hair. “I was worried, honey. Where were you?”
“I, uh, I had to go out for a little while.”
“I’ve been calling since early this morning. I wanted to make certain you were feeling all right.”
That left her blank. She thought they’d agreed he wouldn’t call to check on her. “I’m feeling much better. Tony? Are you busy right now?”
“I’m at the office. Why? Do you need something? You are still sick, aren’t you?”
He sounded so anxious, she rushed to reassure him. “No, I just…” Her voice dropped as she was overcome with dread, but it was better to get it over with. “We need to talk.”
Silence greeted her, and she bit her lip. “Tony?”