by Lori Foster
“I’ve already made my recommendation,” he finally said.
“And it’s not me.”
“I recommended the person I felt would best serve the college,” he hedged.
Because he didn’t believe in her? Delaney shook her head, her negative self-talk hitting her square in the face. This was exactly what Mindy was talking about. Usually, when her opinion or qualifications were questioned, Delaney stepped up to the plate and gladly proved her worth. But when her emotions were involved, like they were with her father or Nick, the smallest setback and she assumed she was lacking. Or, if she didn’t quite measure up, she wrote off the situation, and herself, as a wash. After all, she realized, it was easier to reject herself before someone else did it.
But not this time. Mindy’s words ringing in her head, Delaney nixed her habit of automatic self-rejection and stood her ground. If there was a buzzing in her head and her mouth was desert-dry, well, only she had to know that.
“I’d like you to reconsider,” she said, her words soft but determined. “I’ve not only added to my resume, but I’ve acquired a number of skills that will serve me well in this position.”
If she’d thought him surprised before, this bold assertion sent her father into total shock. Brown eyes, so like her own, stared. Then he shook his head and gave his patented sigh. “Delaney, you’re simply not ready for the position. Experience aside, there is a level of confidence I feel is required to run the department. Age, authority and self-assurance are all working against you.”
“But—”
“Present your application this week, let the committee decide.”
She ground her teeth. Without her father’s backing, she was left with only the bet on her side. And, as much as she wanted the promotion, she wanted it based on her qualifications. Not because of Nick’s silly publicity stunt and her opinions on a few books.
“Is there any point in showing up to the committee meeting if you’ve already made up your mind?” she asked, falling back on her old pattern of not chasing anything she might fail.
“Perhaps your asking that question is something you should examine,” he said slowly, his words obviously chosen with care. It reminded Delaney of her childhood, of his habit of teaching by asking questions in a way that forced her to look deeper for an answer. “That you’d ask it reflects the exact reasons I didn’t recommend you for the position.”
With that and a long, searching look, he ended their conversation. “I’ve got a meeting in a few minutes. Perhaps we can discuss this later?”
Delaney pressed her shaky lips together and nodded. Mulling over his words, she slowly made her way out of the office and back to the reception area.
“How’d it go?” Mindy asked, obviously trying not to cringe.
“He’s already committed to back the other applicant, so nothing really changed.” Mindy’s face fell. Delaney shrugged as if it didn’t rip her up that her father didn’t have faith in her. “He said the same thing you did, in different words.”
Mindy waited, giving Delaney time to shove back the tears so she could talk. “He doesn’t feel that I’ve got enough faith in myself to be assistant head. He wants someone with a more authoritative persona for the position.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Mindy said softly. “I’m sorry for what I said before, okay?”
“You mean that thing about rejection?”
Mindy nodded.
“Don’t be sorry. While talking with my father I realized you were right. This makeover pushed me outside my comfort zone, forced me to work through some confidence issues.” With a grimace, Delaney dropped into the chair opposite Mindy. “But it’s more than just prettying up the package. I have to believe in it, too.”
Mindy reached into her desk, and with a furtive look toward the dean’s door, pulled out a bag of chocolate-walnut fudge. She plopped it in the middle of the desk. Both women stared at it for ten seconds. Delaney debated the severity of this discovery, then with a sigh, pulled out three pieces.
“Can you believe in it?” Mindy asked as she unwrapped her piece.
“The thing is, I think I already do,” Delaney answered around a mouthful of chocolaty heaven. “I can see my father’s point. I’ll find a way to correct the issues.”
“Are you still applying for the position?”
A part of her wanted to scream no. Who in their right mind would when they knew they didn’t have a chance? But when did she stop playing it safe? Now, apparently.
“I have to,” Delaney realized. “Even if I know they don’t think I’m ready for it, I have to give it a shot. I’ve always gone for the sure things. The ones I knew I’d get. It’s like you said, I have to risk rejection.”
The idea scared her so much she reached for another piece of fudge. Was her shaky self-confidence strong enough to hold up? As Delaney let the chocolate melt on her tongue, she realized that, confident or not, she was ready to make a stand.
“So, the big question is,” Mindy said brightly, obviously changing the subject as she rubbed chocolate smears off her fingers, “what about Nick? Now that you’re ready to take risks and know it’s not about you being invisible, are you going to let this pseudo-rejection keep you down?”
“Nope, screw that. I’m not invisible, and I’ll be damned if he’s going to get rid of me that easily.” Delaney licked chocolate off her knuckle and considered. “I’m going to need something supersexy to wear, though. And a mask, I guess.”
Mindy gasped. “You’re actually going to go to an erotic ball.”
But was there a less visible way to prove her point? None that Delaney could think of. And, besides, she wanted to win their side wager. Not out of any spirit of competitiveness, but because she knew it was her one shot at the real prize. Nick’s heart.
“Damned right I am. I have a bet to win. And in the process, I’m going to show him in very graphic terms just exactly what he’s walking away from. If he won’t accept the real me, fine.” It’d suck, she’d be emotionally devastated, but dammit, if she went down, she’d do it knowing she’d tried her best. “But he’s going to know before we end this just how incredible that real me is.”
*
EVEN FEELING EMPOWERED in her own hot, visible skin, Delaney was still grateful for Nick’s hand as he led her through the crowded entrance of the Cow Palace. It was proving difficult to show him how strong she was, given that he’d barely said a word since he’d picked her up. He’d ignored her inane chatter, grunted when she’d spouted facts about the variety of erotic balls held in Northern California this time of year, and offered one-word answers to all questions. She hadn’t been able to pierce the wall he’d erected, so she still didn’t have a clue what had set him off the other night. But the heated, eat-her-up-in-slow-slurping-bites looks he’d been shooting her more than made up for his silence.
They climbed the stairs and Delaney goggled at the other guests. She nibbled on her bottom lip, not knowing where to look first. Or in some cases, she realized as she averted her eyes from a particularly scary, very hairy almost-naked guy, where not to look. Even if her NetFlix queue was nothing but porn, she’d bet she’d never see anything like this. Oh, man, he was pulling out all the stops to prove his side of the bet. It was a good thing she’d overcome her insecurities and inhibitions so she could prove hers.
“Oh,” Delaney gasped as she entered the huge stadium. Shock hit her like a sledgehammer. It was wall-to-wall kink. Like a circus for adults. Wild, raunchy and colorful. Noise filled the hall. It took her a few minutes to sort it all out. Voices, loud and raucous. Tinned music piped in from speakers and a dull roar seemed to be coming from behind the walls.
The huge room was packed with exhibitors. Everything from sex toys to lingerie to pornographic candy was on sale. The salespeople were even more intriguing than the wares they offered. Most were in S-and-M gear or lingerie. Quite a few had opted for the paint-as-clothing option.
Delaney cursed her fair skin as,
despite her attempt at nonchalance, she turned beet-red. At least most of her face was covered by the leather studded mask she’d found at a fetish shop.
“Public nudity is allowed?” she whispered, inching even closer to Nick as she gawked at the painted breasts of a very well-endowed woman leading a very well-endowed man in a leather hood around by the…leash.
“The body paint skirts the nudity laws,” Nick said, grinning at the couple as they blew Delaney kisses.
“She’s in amazing shape. I had no idea…” Her words trailed off as she watched the woman walk, a leather riding crop clenched between her buttocks. Apparently she didn’t have pockets.
“It’ll get more interesting when we get inside.”
Inside? She’d planned to prove her point to Nick in graphic detail, but she was starting to think she was out of her element here. How could she argue for passion when they were surrounded by the epitome of lust? All she could do was go with her emotions. With that in mind, Delaney swallowed her nerves and squared her overly clothed shoulders.
“Let’s go, then.”
*
NICK’S ATTENTION WAS fixed on Delaney as they entered the ballroom. Despite the careful distance he’d maintained to keep his cool, he’d been unable to stop staring at her since he’d picked her up. After all, she looked like his wildest wet dream.
Black leather cupped her breasts like a lover, her halter draping low enough to make him groan. Her skirt, some silky black fabric, swished and slid over her slender hips. His fingers ached to test the contrast of textures. It was like she’d known he was done playing, so to tempt him she’d reached into his mind to find his darkest fantasy, and had turned herself into it.
Lust, he reminded himself. This was to prove lust. He’d teetered on the edge, ready to believe in her. But she was just like his ex-wife and mother. A user who played emotions like game tokens. Now all he had to do was convince himself.
Nick leaned close, his arm curving around Delaney’s hip to pull her tightly against him. Her hair brushed his mouth, the silky texture a floral-scented temptation.
“This is all about lust,” he said in a low tone.
She shot him a startled glance. First confusion, then determination was clear in the eyes framed by the leather mask that covered the upper half of her face. She made a sweeping scan of the room, taking in the bands on the main stage, the fashion show on another, a contest of some kind that apparently involved a variety of dildos on the third. Then her eyes met his again.
“It does promote lust,” she agreed. Then she nodded to the dance floor. “But not everything here is that simple, is it? Shall we dance?”
He’d thought she didn’t like dancing in public. Nick frowned, but followed her to the floor where couples and singles all gyrated in wild abandon to a heavy throbbing beat. Lights and colors flashed off nude skin, Delaney’s sexy leather ensemble looked sedate next to the rest of the crowd.
“Define simple,” he challenged, grabbing her hips to keep her body close to his. There was a no-groping policy at the ball, but he didn’t trust the drunk in the fishnet Speedo to keep his hands off Delaney’s ass. He shot the guy a keep-away-from-my-woman glare.
“Simple is lust. Less simple is everything else,” Delaney shouted back. Maybe she had a point. Her grin, the wickedly seductive shimmy of her hips and the way her hands caressed over the fabric of his T-shirt were all anything but simple.
The mostly naked women all around did nothing for him, but the feel of Delaney’s fingers brushing his nipples sent his dick to full alert.
A fact she was very aware of, considering it was rubbing against her as they danced. She gave him a naughty smile, her eyes going hot and intense. Then she pressed her hands down his chest, over his abs until she reached his belt. Nick caught his breath waiting to see how far she’d go.
Her fingers slipped under the waistband of his pants, using it as a handle as she tugged him closer, her heels putting her high enough for his hard-on to fit perfectly between the juncture of her legs.
Bump, grind, slide. She had the rhythm down. Nick’s hands slid from her hips to curve over her butt, wanting to control her moves. But Delaney was having none of that. Instead, she scooted away. Arms overhead, she shimmied up against him, down him. Damn, the woman had incredible thigh muscles. Down him, up him, back down. Nick’s brain shut off, all reasoning, all memory of why he’d been pissed fled as she worked his body. Up and down, she shimmied. In and out, his brain begged.
Just when he thought he was going to go nuts, she wrapped those arms around his neck and used her hips to keep the beat against his straining erection.
“Remember how it felt,” she said, her voice husky, her words a moist caress over his ear. “Remember what it was like when we were together. The heat, the wet, wild intensity as you came inside me?”
Nick damned near came again at her words. Astonished she’d say anything so bold, he could only groan and grab her slick, satin-covered hip with one hand as he trailed the other down the low neckline of her leather halter top.
“I want to come inside you now,” he told her. “I want to feel you wrap around me, your wet heat taking me in.”
She gave him a slow, wicked smile and looked around the room.
“Here?”
Afraid he’d misunderstood, Nick had to close his eyes before he spun out of control.
“Are you trying to drive me crazy?” he asked, desperately afraid there was a hint of a whimper in his words. He was supposed to be the one in control here. Not her. This was about proving his point, not succumbing to the damned emotions she’d stirred up in him.
“Do you want me?” she asked, her mouth tracing hot, openmouthed kisses over his jaw and down his throat. “Do you want me like I want you?”
“How do you want me?” he asked hoarsely.
“I want you so much. I want to feel you inside me. Hard, fast, intense. I want you to lick me, taste me, drive me insane. I want you and only you, Nick.”
His breath came in faster, his pulse rapid. Nick looked around, wondering where he could take her.
“But…”
His gaze flew back to hers. Brown eyes, filled with smoldering desire, questioned.
“But what?”
“But you’re in a room filled with almost naked, very horny women. Wouldn’t any of them do for you just as well?”
He knew it was a trap. Her smile, amused and self-deprecating, told him she knew he knew. Nick laughed and shook his head. No matter what she’d done, why she’d done it, he couldn’t lie to her.
“I want you. Only you,” he admitted. Forever, he realized. Even as he cursed his heart for falling, he knew it was true.
“Then come on,” she said, taking his hand and hauling him off the dance floor.
It took ten minutes and a hundred-dollar tip to score a private corner behind the stage curtains. The search didn’t cool his ardor, if anything it amped it up even higher. Sheltered from the band by the thick fabric, the music was muted, more a feel than a sound as it pounded through the walls.
Without waiting for Delaney to offer an opinion, Nick grabbed her hands and pressed her back against the wall. Anchoring her there with his body, he could feel the beat as it reverberated through her.
His mouth took hers in wild abandon. She gave as good as he did, pushing for more, demanding he give her everything.
Desperate need ripped through him. Nick had to have her. Now.
Without preliminaries, he scooped up her skirt and ripped tiny lace panties away. Nick lifted a brow at her gasp, then tossed them over his shoulder.
“You won’t need those,” he told her. He plunged a finger into her, groaning as her damp warmth welcomed him. She was panting now, her hands kneading his shoulders.
“Tell me what you want,” he rasped against her throat as he lifted one of her thighs to wrap it around his waist, giving him better access to her juicy clit. “What do you need?”
“You,” she moaned. “Do me now, Ni
ck. Please, do me now.”
In a quick move, he shifted their positions so his back was to the wall. Unzipping his pants, he barely remembered to use a condom before he pulled her to him.
He lifted her, his hands on her bare ass as he positioned her over his throbbing dick. One quick thrust and she was riding him. Hands lifted, bodies strained. Quick, hot, desperate. There was nothing sweet, nothing gentle about their coming together.
It was hard and fast. He had no control, but she didn’t seem to care. Her hands braced against the wall on either side of his head, she took his mouth with hers, signaling her release with tiny, panting mews.
The sound of her coming, the feel of her body spasming around him, was all it took to send Nick over the edge. His fingers digging into her butt, he ground himself against her, and his body went rigid with the power of his orgasm.
“Delaney,” he yelled, his voice a guttural cry of triumph.
Her. It was all about her. He knew he’d never felt anything as intense, as incredible, as what she gave to him. Because it wasn’t just a physical release. Sex didn’t feel this good. It was more than that, it was the way she offered herself, the trust, the power she demanded he share.
Damn her, it was the most amazing thing he’d ever felt. And he knew he’d only feel it with her.
With a shuddering sigh he felt Delaney’s leg slide down his body. Nick, barely able to catch his breath, let his head fall back against the wall behind him.
“That,” Delaney said, her voice soft and husky with pleasure, “was based on intimacy. Lust would never feel that good.”
Her words snapped him out of his sexual fog. The bet. While he was waxing poetic over how she made him feel, her focus was on winning the bet. He bit back a self-derisive laugh. Here he was thinking all this emotional crap, and she was still all about what she could get. Served him right. He opened his eyes and glared at her.
“Intimacy? Felt just like lust to me. Professor.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
PROFESSOR?