She stared at him for a long moment. ‘I’m sorry. For last night.’
His breath left him, like he’d been punched. ‘Me too.’ He knew he should say so much more, but he couldn’t find the words right now, astonished she would apologise to him when he was the one at fault.
Her gaze held his for a moment then she smiled and closed her eyes.
He watched over her as she slipped into sleep, parts of the conversation he’d been witness to sparking and exploding in his mind. But as he sat there, the words that kept coming back again and again were the ones she’d uttered after Chandra had asked her if she loved Flynn. Words that had ached with longing, desperation and pain—‘No. How could I? You know my feelings about that. But I’m entitled to sleep with someone, the same as you.’
Did she mean that? And why was knowing that suddenly the most important question in his mind? And the one that scared him more than the flames?
Chapter 15
‘I’ll get the door for you,’ Flynn said as Reid pulled his 4WD up outside the house Flynn shared with Barb.
‘I’m fine,’ Prita said again for the hundredth time since the doctors had given them both the all clear and sent them home.
Well, not home. Not her home.
She swallowed hard and tried to ignore the ache in her chest over the fact she no longer had a home to go to.
Flynn, being Flynn, didn’t listen, hopping out of the car and limping around to her side of the car. He’d done a pretty good job of wrenching his knee—it was bandaged and from what she could see, quite stiff and swollen. Scans showed he hadn’t done any serious damage—at least there was that. Not that it would have mattered to Flynn at all. He was the kind of patient who made a doctor pull out their hair for the lack of interest in their own health and wellbeing. When she’d pointed out he should be the one in the wheelchair when they were leaving the hospital, he had looked almost insulted and insisted he’d had worse. There was no way he was going to do what Doctor Campbell in the hospital told him to do, which was to stay off it and give it a chance to heal. Stupid man.
Stupid man who had come after her to apologise even though she was the one who’d slapped him.
Stupid man who had stood up for her with Chandra and invited her into his own home despite the difficult nature of their relationship.
Stupid man who was still in love with his dead wife.
Although, why any of that should matter, she had no idea. It didn’t. Matter. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Not to her.
She opened the door before he managed to limp halfway around the car and hopped out, the bag of her smoky and slightly singed clothing banging at her side.
She looked down at the shorts and t-shirt and canvas sneakers she was wearing. They weren’t anything like her normal clothes, but they were clean and the right size and she was so grateful now that Reid had gone and bought them for her alongside a few spares and clothes for Carter as well.
How was she ever going to repay that kind of kindness?
Flynn hobbled up to her and held out his hand. ‘Here, let me take that.’
She rolled her eyes at him and gestured to Reid. ‘Would you make him go and sit down? He really needs to get off that knee for the next day or so.’
Reid pulled a face. ‘And how would you like me to make him do that?’
‘Hog tie him to the sofa.’
‘You know, I’m standing right here,’ Flynn said.
‘Yes, that’s part of the problem.’ She pointed at the house. ‘Go. Sit. And accept your nephew’s help to the house.’
‘What about you?’
‘I think I can manage to get inside the house fine by myself. I don’t have to stand on my lungs.’
‘Here,’ Reid said, offering his arm to Flynn. ‘Or I could pick you up and carry you over the threshold.’
‘Try it and Nat will lose two of her favourite toys.’
Reid laughed away the threat.
‘I don’t know why you’re laughing.’
‘You, threatening to do anything that would anger Nat—now that’s funny.’
Flynn muttered something about no respect and Prita couldn’t help but laugh.
‘Should you be laughing?’ Reid asked when Prita began to cough.
‘It’s hard not to when you two are so funny.’
‘Mum!’
She looked up in time to see Carter jump down the front steps from the porch and run over to her, arms out wide, Barb coming behind him shouting, ‘Slow down, Carts!’
He didn’t listen and smacked into Prita, his little wiry arms going around her, the force of his enthusiasm sending her stumbling back into the car door with a grunt.
‘I’m glad you’re okay, Mum,’ he said as he pressed his head under her breast and hugged her fiercely.
‘Me too, beautiful boy.’ She kissed his head and hugged him back.
‘Careful of your mum, Carts,’ Flynn said. ‘She’s still not one hundred percent.’
‘He’s okay. He didn’t hurt me.’ Carter looked up at her, tears in his eyes. She cupped his face. ‘You didn’t hurt me. I promise.’
He shook his head and wiped his hand under his nose, sniffling, but didn’t say what the problem was.
‘What is it, sweetheart?’
‘Maccy. Was he … was he in the fire? Is he dead?’
Oh god, she should have got in front of this particular worry, called him or something, but what could she say other than, ‘I don’t know, beautiful boy. But he’s a smart cat. The back door was open when I got there and I’m sure he would have used it to run away from the fire.’ At least, she hoped he had.
‘We need to go look for him now. What if he’s hurt or scared?’
She exchanged a quick look with Flynn over Carter’s head. She really didn’t want him going to see the wreck that was now their home, nor have him chance finding Machiavelli’s body if he hadn’t escaped the fire.
‘I think your mum needs you to stay here with her, but how about I take some food and see if I can coax him that way? You know I’m good with animals.’
Carter nodded, the dark expression fading. ‘He likes chunks of chicken the best.’
‘A discerning cat.’
Carter smiled. He actually smiled. She wanted to kiss Flynn. The thought had heat flaring through her body. The thought of kissing Flynn shouldn’t be so strong. She hadn’t been able to get the words he’d said to Chandra about them being lovers out of her head. It was stupid. She had to stop feeling like this. If only she knew how. But even though he was making her son so very happy, she couldn’t let him hurt himself. Not for her. ‘You can’t go. You need to stay off your knee.’
‘My knee’s not that bad. And Maccy needs to be found.’
‘I think I should go with you,’ Reid said, picking up on Prita’s looks his way.
‘I’m fine,’ Flynn said, his grumpiness reappearing. ‘There’s no need to molly coddle me.’
‘There is a need to drive you there, though,’ Barb pointed out. ‘How are you going to handle the clutch with that leg?’
‘Maybe he was thinking of taking the automatic,’ Reid said. ‘Oh, wait. We don’t have one of those,’ he finished with a shit-eating grin.
Flynn chewed on what looked like some impressive swear words by the expression on his face, but managed not to spit them out, his darting looks at Carter telling Prita exactly why Reid was saved from a serving. ‘Fine. We’ll both go look.’
‘You should look from the car.’ He looked like he was about to argue. She reached out without thinking and touched his arm. ‘I don’t want you hurting yourself further on my account.’
He glanced at where her fingers touched the skin just under the edge of his t-shirt sleeve then back up, gaze meeting hers, the heat in them almost taking her breath. ‘Okay,’ he said, his voice a roughened whisper.
She nodded, even though she knew his okay wasn’t a ‘yes, I’ll stay in the car’ but more a ‘yes, I’ll not push myself too hard’.
Carter’s expression had become thoughtful through this exchange. ‘Can you go now? He’s probably scared.’
‘How about you and I help your mum inside,’ Flynn said. ‘Then Reid and I can go look for Maccy.’
Shooting him a grateful look, she was about to say that was unnecessary when Carter put one arm around her waist. ‘You can lean on me, Mum. I’ll help you inside.’
What could she say to that?
Ignoring Barb’s twitching lips, she tried her best to pretend she needed his help, putting her arm over his shoulder and leaning ever so slightly on him as they walked over the gravel path that led to the stairs, Flynn limping in front of them. Barb came up beside her and as they stopped at the stairs, waiting while Flynn limped his way slowly up them, Barb leaned in and put her arm around Prita giving her a little hug and whispered in her ear, ‘I know you’re worried about staying here, but please don’t. You are practically one of the family and we look after our own. Let us look after you.’
Tears stung Prita’s eyes and she blinked rapidly, trying to breathe past the shallow-hot sensation in her lungs. ‘Thank you.’
‘No need for thanks, love.’ She kissed Prita on the cheek. ‘We’re all so happy you’re okay.’
‘Me too.’ She tried to smile. ‘Thanks for asking Reid to get the clothes,’ she said, gesturing down at what she was wearing.
Barb sighed. ‘I could hardly let you come home naked now, could I.’
A burst of laughter exploded out of Prita’s lips. ‘I had clothes.’ They were smoke-infused and filthy, but she had them. They were all she had. She blinked harder as realisation hit her again. She’d lost everything. How was she going to run her business with nothing that a doctor needed for a clinic? Thank god she had insurance, but still, it was going to be months. How would she serve her patients? How could she build up her patient list? This was going to put her back not just months but possibly years because people would have to go back to Doc Simpson again until she got back up on her feet and then they might not want to come back.
Oh god. Oh god.
The enormity of it all hadn’t hit until right now.
‘Stop it,’ Barb said suddenly, grasping her hands and giving them a squeeze. ‘I know you’re worried about your business, but we’ll manage something there too. Trust us. Everything will be okay.’
She nodded. She did trust them. But how could they help her with this. Even Barb, frighteningly capable woman that she was, couldn’t fix everything.
‘Come on, Mum,’ Carter said, pulling her towards the stairs. ‘Flynn’s up now.’
She looked up and saw Flynn had indeed made it up the stairs but was stopped in the doorway, holding onto the doorframe, eyes pinned on the horizon over their head. There was something about the look on his face that had the worry skittering along her nerves.
‘Hey, Flynn, you’re blocking the door.’
He didn’t seem to hear Reid’s comment as his knuckles whitened on the doorframe, nostrils flaring. Was his knee hurting that much? Why hadn’t he said something?
She took in a deep breath, ready to do the doctor thing and order him to sit down so she could look at his knee, happy to have something to concentrate on other than herself. But instead of words, she coughed as she caught a whiff of smoke in the air.
Flynn’s gaze darted to her, but he still didn’t release his death grip on the door. ‘You okay?’
‘Fine.’ His gaze flickered back to the horizon. There was something in his eyes she didn’t like, something that spoke of more than worry, and she was damned sure that he wouldn’t want anyone to see it, let alone Carter, who idolised him. ‘Carter, could you take these things to the laundry for me please, then go find Aaron and tell him his dad’s home?’
‘He’s down at Nat and Reid’s with Tilly,’ Barb said.
‘Then go run down there. I’m sure he’d like to know his dad’s home.’
‘Are you sure you’re okay to get inside, Mum?’
She smiled down at him. ‘I’ll be fine. But nobody can run as fast as you and I know Aaron will want to see his daddy.’
‘Okay. I’ll be as fast as I can.’
He took the bag from her and squeezed past Flynn and disappeared inside. Moments later, they heard the back door slam shut.
‘Flynn?’ Barb and Reid asked together, both moving towards him. ‘Are you okay?’
‘I’m fine,’ he snarled, but still didn’t move from his position in the door, his face growing paler as the scent of smoke lingered.
Prita shared a look with Barb and then Barb said, ‘Reid, can you go and get that jug of ginger beer out of the fridge and put it on the kitchen table? I think we all need something cool.’ She looked at the gap Carter had squeezed through. ‘Go round the side door.’
Reid shot a concerned look at Flynn but didn’t say anything except, ‘Yes, Gran.’ He disappeared around the corner of the house a moment later, leaving Barb and Prita alone with Flynn.
Barb moved in close to him, reaching out cautiously to stroke his back, her voice soft as she said, ‘It’s okay, son. There was just another small fire. The CFA already have it in hand. It’s nothing to worry about.’
He turned to her, his face like nothing she’d seen before. ‘Are you sure?’
‘I’m sure. It’s fine. There’s nothing to worry about. It’s all under control.’
‘How do you know?’
‘Mac called me. It was tiny, he said. The ghost gum next to the hillside dam burned down and some of the paddock grass caught too. But John was heading up there to fill up the tanker and saw it, so called it in and was there before anything serious happened. There’s nothing to worry about. I promise.’
‘You do?’ He sounded so much like a lost little boy, it made Prita’s heart clench.
‘I do.’
‘Can you check again?’
‘All right. I’ll check. But I left my phone inside. I just have to go get it.’
He nodded.
Barb kept up stroking his back, but her gaze went to Prita.
Prita mouthed, ‘What can I do?’
Barb mouthed back, ‘Distract him.’ Then she looked up at Flynn. ‘Can you just move a little, gorgeous boy, so I can get past?’
He looked lost for a moment and then seemed to realise he was blocking the door. Without letting go of the doorframe, he angled his body so that she could edge past him and inside the house, leaving Prita with him alone.
Distract him. She was happy to distract him. But how, when she wasn’t even certain what was going on?
‘Flynn?’
He didn’t look at her, his gaze pinned to where you could now see smoke rising above the trees in the direction of the hillside dam. Sadness flickered through her at the thought her special place might have been ruined.
But she quickly thrust that aside. She might be saddened by it, but Flynn seemed traumatised. Had this come about because of the fire at her house last night?
No. Barb didn’t seem to be shocked by this at all. In fact, she’d seemed to understand exactly what was going on before any of the rest of them did. Then this had to be related to losing Anna. He was afraid of fire.
What an idiot she’d been not to see it before. There’d been so many signs—the way he never cooked at the BBQ or even went near one. Him not volunteering with the CFA anymore despite his commitment to community work. The way he avoided the CoalCliff mid-winter bonfires and never sat with the kids in winter when the fire in the main restaurant was lit. His reaction to any talk about any bushfires—point in case the strange way he’d behaved last night when Reid had brought up the burned brush jump. It was easy to miss because he presented such a calm, controlled front all the time.
He wasn’t in control now. Far from it. How had she never seen this before? If she knew anything about this kind of trauma, he was going to seriously lose control very soon and for a man like him, that would be tough to get over. She had to do something.
Distract him, B
arb had said.
Well, there was one guaranteed way of doing that. Should she? Could she? No, that was the rash side of her talking. She was a doctor. There had to be another way. Except, that way escaped her right now. Hell, why hadn’t she taken more notice in her psych rotation?
She had to go with her gut before he became worse and her gut was telling her one thing.
‘Flynn. Look at me, not at the smoke.’
He didn’t move, his gaze still pinned on the hill behind her.
She reached up and touched his face. ‘Flynn, look at me.’
His gaze darted down to hers and before he could look away, she took his face in both hands and held him there, angled so that he could only see her. She stroked his cheeks with her thumbs, grazing along the edges of his lips. His breath stuttered out of his mouth, lips opening slightly. ‘Prita?’ he said, sounding confused.
‘Yes.’
‘What are you doing?’
‘Distracting you.’ She lifted up onto her toes and pressed her lips against his.
Chapter 16
Flynn jerked as their lips met, stiffening, but she didn’t let go, just pressed her lips a little more against his, slanting sideways, nibbling the edges, letting her tongue out to taste the seam of his lips.
He gasped, trembled and then his hands were in her hair and his lips were moving against hers and he was moving, moving so that she was against the open door inside the house. Thank goodness, they were inside. He wouldn’t see the smoke from inside. Except, he could still smell it with the door open.
‘The door,’ she gasped as his lips left hers to make their way along her chin.
He moved her again and the door slammed shut with a loud snick and then she was pressed up against the inside of it, his hot, hot body hard against hers, holding her there as they kissed and kissed and kissed.
Then slowly, slowly, Flynn seemed to come to his senses. He pulled away from her, just enough to lean his forehead against hers, his breath a harsh puff over her face.
Blazing Fear Page 17