I watch the water glisten and think of Dom and wonder if he’s feeling better. I called this morning and he didn’t answer. So, I did what any logical person would do: I called Joy and had her call Nate.
Whether or not Nate is mad at me too I haven’t figured out. I can’t remember much about what he said or did last night. I can’t remember anything other than Dominic, and as soon as I remember that, I start to cry.
It’s a vicious cycle, one that kept me up all night.
“You need to do something,” Sienna sighs, sitting beside me. “Or don’t go out in public. I don’t want anyone thinking you’re me.”
“You’re mean,” I say, feeling like I should laugh but not able to actually do it. “What time is it?”
“Five? Maybe six? You’ve been like this for hours now. You have to sleep at some point, Swink.”
“I can’t. I close my eyes and I remember seeing him fall. The guy racing to him and not being able to do anything about it.”
The tears come again and I feel so stupid for still crying, for breaking down, but there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I’m on a Tilt-a-Whirl of emotion.
“I should’ve listened to him.”
“No, he should’ve listened to you,” she suggests. “You shouldn’t have gone by yourself, I’ll agree with him on that. That was really stupid. But you just wanted to be there for him. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Tell that to his ribs,” I say. “Tell that to him. Tell that to my heart.”
“So dramatic.”
“I mean it. You know, every time I do something I want to do, someone gets hurt. It gets someone in trouble. I guess this is why our brothers treat me like a child, huh? Maybe I am just a child.”
“You aren’t a child,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “You are having disagreements with a very alpha male. On one hand, you want to do the things you’ve seen our family do your entire life. Helping each other, lending each other a few—or ten thousand—dollars,” she cringes. “We support each other. How many baseball games did we miss of Lincoln’s?”
“None.”
“How many of Ford’s baseball, soccer, whatever he was doing that season did we not see?”
“None.”
“How many of our things did our parents miss? None. See my point?”
“I guess.”
“You’re just loving the way you know how to love. It’s just, with Dominic, he does things that aren’t as … normal, maybe, as the rest of the world we’re used to. And he loves by keeping you from having to deal with a lot of things that are really present in his reality.”
Letting the blanket drop from my chin, I pick up a cucumber slice. “He always says we’re too different. That we’ll always face these problems. Maybe he’s right, Sienna.”
“Maybe that’s a whole bunch of bullshit.”
“What’s bullshit?”
I turn to see Ford standing in the doorway.
“I was just coming by to do some fishing and saw your car, Sienna. So,” he says, coming out and leaning on the rail, “what’s bullshit?” He eyes me suspiciously, his lips set in a thin, grim line.
“Cam thinks she should give up on Dominic because they’re not seeing eye-to-eye at the moment.”
“It’s not that,” I say, aggravated at my sister. “I went to Dom’s fight last night.”
“You did?”
“He told me not to and I did it anyway. I’m fine, let’s let that be known before I go on,” I say. “Some chick shoved me and Dom got distracted and got hurt.”
“Is he okay?” Ford asks.
“Yeah. I think. Maybe a broken rib or something. I don’t know because he won’t talk to me.”
“Because you went?”
“Yeah. I should’ve listened and I didn’t. He’s furious … and he should be,” I say, wiping away a tear.
Ford takes me in and then surprises me. He smiles.
“Don’t smile,” I warn him. “This isn’t funny.”
“It is, kind of. I’m happy Dominic is standing his ground with you.”
“What?”
“I’m just saying it’s nice having someone look after you instead of us doing it for a change.” Ford stands up and looks at Sienna. “What happened when you moved to LA?”
She groans. “Lincoln went with me to get me settled. Graham called every fucking day, set a limit on my credit card, wouldn’t let me even pay my rent. The one night I stayed out to party, they called my landlord. Fucking idiots.”
“They did?” I laugh.
“She was nineteen,” Ford points out. “Do you guys have any idea how many times we’ve had to bail Lincoln out of things?”
“Yes,” Sienna and I say together. We all laugh.
“What about Barrett? Who do you think did his clean-up? Graham. My point is, we look out for each other. We’re all just … dumb … in different ways. You haven’t moved away or had a serious relationship or anything like that. So maybe it seems like we’re overprotective. We spend more time with you.”
“Maybe that’s the answer.” I stand up and look at Sienna. “Are you really going to Illinois?”
“I think so,” she says warily. “Why?”
“Maybe I should go with you. I can be your secretary,” I offer. “I just know I can’t stay here if Dom doesn’t want me.”
Sienna stands but moves shoulder-to-shoulder with Ford. “You can always go with me. But you need to think about that, Cam. Your life is here.”
I gaze back across the lawn again. “Not if he’s not with me.”
Thirty-Seven
Dominic
“Sienna brought me an idea she had for the back of the bar,” Nate says, attempting to distract me again. Attempt number eighty million. Fail number eighty million. “Wanna see?”
“No.”
“Come on,” he sighs, tossing the papers on the coffee table. “At least answer her calls.”
I look at the phone and see another missed call from Cam. It’s midnight. She’s usually in bed by now and I wonder what’s keeping her up. I could call her. I could answer hers. But I don’t because I’m a dick.
“How are you feeling?” he asks, changing tactics.
“Hurt as fuck.”
“Your ribs or heart?’
“Fuck you.”
“Good answer,” he laughs. “You’re right about one thing—you’re a dick.”
“That’s what I was just thinking.”
We watch the television, some show about giant fish that scares the beejesus out of Ryder. But he’s asleep so we can watch it without worry.
I don’t even like this show. It must’ve come on after whatever I was watching before it. A show I couldn’t place if my life depended on it.
“Why are you doing this, Dominic? I know you’re irritated at her, but she’s a good girl.”
“Because she’s a good girl. It’s better this way.”
“Is it?”
“Yeah,” I glower. “It is.”
“You know what I think? I think you need to get over your fucking self.”
“If I wasn’t broken in half, I’d get up and beat the shit out of you.”
“No, you wouldn’t. Because you know, somewhere in that thick skull, I’m right.”
“This will end sooner or later, Nate. I’ll fail her. I’ll get her hurt or blacklisted or something. I can’t even take care of her. I’m dead weight.”
He sits all nonchalantly out of reach, fiddling with the remote in his hands. “What have you ever failed at? You’re a hell of a fighter. The best brother a guy could want. A great uncle, you take care of everyone, work your ass off. How do you justify yourself?”
“Last night.”
“Oh, when you were too hard-headed to even allow her to be a part of it? That’s on you, asshole. Had you just seen her for what she was trying to do, we could’ve managed that. But, no, let’s be all stupid about it and let it get out of control.”
I breathe as deeply as I can w
ithout coughing, my temples pulsing. “We’re lucky it’s me in this shape and not her. It could’ve been her. Why was she there? Why couldn’t she have been … in Paris,” I whisper, feeling my heart sink. “I can’t give her what she’s used to. I can’t begin to give her a life like she deserves.”
“Are you talking monetary shit? Because she’s got that covered,” he laughs. I don’t. “People are perfect for each other for different reasons, Dom. It’s one person’s weakness supplemented by the other’s strengths and vice versa. She doesn’t need money. She needs … you.”
I imagine her face and miss her so much I could cry. I look at the massive catfish on the television and force a swallow. “What are you? A therapist?’
“A bartender. So, yeah, basically.”
My phone rings. I look at Nate.
“Answer it,” he insists. “I’ll be in my room. Yell if you need help to the car.”
“To the car?”
“To go see her,” he smiles.
On the third ring, I can’t take it and scoop it up. It’s not her number and I can’t deny that it disappoints me. “Hello?” I ask.
“Dominic?”
“Yeah. Who’s this?”
“Hey, this is Ford Landry,” he says, sounding surprised.
“Is Cam okay?”
He laughs. “She’s fine. She doesn’t know I’m calling. I don’t sleep a lot, so I was just going to drop you a message for morning.”
“I don’t sleep either.” I struggle to sit up in my chair. “Look, I’m guessing you heard about the fight.”
“I did, but I’m not calling about that.”
“You aren’t?” I ask, surprised.
“No. Mike, a security guy for Landry Security, quit tonight. He’s moving back to Utah or someplace and I’m down a guy. I know you’re injured at the moment and don’t expect an answer right away, but I really think you’d be a great fit.”
My mouth drops and I almost drop the phone. “Did Cam put you up to this?”
He laughs again. “No. She doesn’t know I’m even thinking about it, actually. According to Sienna, she’s been crying for the last twenty-four hours or so.”
“That’s my fault.”
“Then you better fix it.”
“The best solution might not be the answer she wants to hear.”
“As long as you do what’s best for her, that’s all I ask, man. And I have a feeling you will.”
There’s a long silence, both of us letting this conversation sink in. Finally, Ford speaks. “If you aren’t interested, that’s fine. But if you are and think you and Camilla are going to split, I can assure you that my business and Cam are separate. There wouldn’t be an issue.” He clears his throat. “She’s thinking of moving to Illinois with Sienna anyway.”
“She what?” I burst.
“That’s what she said. If she can’t work it out with you, she’s just going to leave.”
I shake my head, trying to lift the fog. She’s leaving? She can’t leave. She can’t leave me.
“Let me ask you a question,” I say.
“Yeah, sure. Shoot.”
“Why do you want to hire me?”
“You’re smart. You’re fearless. I know you’re dependable and a hard worker because I might’ve checked some references. You’re loyal.” He takes a deep breath. “I was there last night, Dominic.”
“What?” I must’ve misheard him. “What did you say? You were where last night?”
“Graham and I slipped in the back and watched the fight. We knew Cam was going.”
“How did you know?”
“Because that’s what we do. She’s a Landry. If she loves you, she’ll stand behind you one hundred percent. So when we found out you were fighting, there was no doubt she’d go. And we wanted to see what you were made of, to be honest. You’re impressive. Very, very impressive.”
“You saw what happened?”
“Of course I did. I couldn’t imagine being you in there and having Ellie up in the stands like that. I would’ve died.”
“I feel like I did,” I wince, getting situated again.
“How are you feeling?”
“Like I almost died,” I chuckle, which causes a stabbing sensation to rip through me.
“Get some rest. Think about my offer. Call me when and if you’re ready.”
“I will. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
Thirty-Eight
Camilla
“That was amazing, Vivian,” Ellie says, rubbing her stomach. “It’s safe to say the baby likes your roasted chicken.”
“I’m not pregnant and my stomach likes it too,” Danielle laughs, giving Ryan a bottle.
“You could be pregnant. Wanna try again?” Lincoln says, wiggling his eyebrows. “We could go for twins this time.”
“You can’t go for twins,” Sienna points out. “And didn’t you tell us you were only having one baby after you almost passed out in the delivery room?”
“I did,” Lincoln admits, “but it’s been awhile. I forgot about how much it hurts.”
“Again,” Danielle says as we all laugh, “I had the baby. Not you.”
We’re draped around the family room of the Farm. There are so many of us now that Mom had new furniture brought in to hold us all. Even still, Mallory, Huxley, and Graham are sitting at the bar in the kitchen.
Everyone is telling stories, making plans, having a good time like we always do together. I sit next to Sienna on a love seat. She’s laughing at something Barrett said, something I missed.
She elbows me in the side. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Heard from Dom today?”
I shake my head, my spirits plummeting even more if it’s possible. With each hour that passes that he doesn’t call or text me, I feel him drifting away. Joy suggested I just show up at his house, but I’m scared. I don’t think I could take the rejection face-to-face, not without the adrenaline of fight night. She’s kept me posted on Dom’s recovery and that he’s looking better and getting around better. He’ll go to work tomorrow, and I worry how he’ll handle that.
I miss him. Lord, I miss him.
Each morning, I look for his good morning texts. I wait for the mid-afternoon selfie of him at work. At night, I wait for him to check in to see if I made it home or to roll over and see him next to me.
I miss the safety of his arms, the security of his smile. The feeling of having someone to take care of and knowing someone wants to take care of me.
Looking away from my sister, I dab at my eyes. They’re still swollen, but no one has asked. I think they know. Dad gave me a pained glance and a longer hug than usual, but that’s the only difference from normal.
“Do you remember?” Sienna asks me.
“Remember what?”
“That yoga position we saw in the magazine. Where it was like an adult version of airplane?”
My spirits lift, the fog thinning just a bit as the excitement of our plan kicks in. “Yeah. Did you see that, Mallory?”
“I have no idea what you guys are talking about,” she says.
“Come here.” Sienna takes my hand and clears Ford from the middle of the floor. She lays on her back and holds her legs up in the air. I put my hands in hers and her feet go to my belly. She winks. “Ready?”
“Yup.”
She extends her legs and I hop a little, but instead of balancing at the top, I fall over her head and somersault away. “You’re not strong enough, Sienna.”
“I am too. Try it again.”
“You two are ridiculous,” Ford laughs. “Want to try it, Lincoln?”
“Fuck you,” Lincoln says. “You’d drop me on purpose.”
“Language, Lincoln,” Mom warns, leaning her head on Dad’s shoulder.
Sienna gets back in position and I jump, but fall intentionally again. “You’re too weak. Come here, Mal.”
Mallory gets up and joins us on the floor.
“You nee
d to figure this out,” I insist. “They said in the magazine it’s one of the best moves for mental clarity.”
“And soul happiness or something,” Sienna adds, ad-libbing her way through this and earning a glare from me.
“Anyway,” I say, trying to stay on target, “can you envision what we mean?”
“Kind of.”
“Ugh,” I say, trying to hide my smile. “G, get down here. I don’t think I’m strong enough either.”
“I’m not playing yoga games.”
“Oh, but you are,” I tell him, knowing he’ll come. “Mal’s been bragging about you.”
“You are getting so good,” Mallory tells him. She looks surprised when he stands up and takes off his jacket, hanging it on the back of the chair.
“Is G turning into a yogi?” Lincoln teases. “I’ll buy you a mat for Christmas.”
“Stop it,” Dani shushes him. As a response, he takes Ryan from her.
“Lie down,” Sienna tells Graham, pointing to the floor.
Graham lies on his back. “Now what?”
“Put your feet on Mal’s stomach,” I say, moving Mallory so she’s in the right spot. “Now hold hands.”
Graham pushes up and Mallory is horizontal in the air above Graham.
“I haven’t done this since I was a kid,” she exclaims. “I didn’t think about this as yoga.”
The rest of us exchange grins and wait. Graham works one hand free from Mallory’s and slips it in his pocket. Mallory is telling a story about yoga class and isn’t prepared to look down and see a diamond ring nestled in a pretty blue box.
“Oh my God,” she says, forgetting about her story. Her free hand flies to her mouth. She twists on Graham’s feet, but he holds her still. “Graham. What the hell?”
“You’ve come into my life and messed it all up. I mean that,” he says softly, making us laugh. “I can’t find a thing in my kitchen and my calendar is a mess of pink and yellow highlighters. You make me go out of my mind.”
“Don’t forget the clothes on the floor,” Sienna chimes in.
The Landry Family Series: Part Two Page 43