by Cassie Mae
Her arms drop from my shoulders, and I take in a deep breath and force myself to move to the car. I look at Adam’s house—his front lawn and his window and the gate that leads to the backyard. My fingers already itch to get to a pencil and paper so I can record it all while it’s fresh.
Sierra and Levi are already in the front seats, and my hand grazes the handle when I hear a screech from the corner Adam just turned. I hold my breath, waiting to hear the horrifying crash that usually comes after that sound, but it doesn’t. Instead, reverse lights enter my line of sight as the Geo swerves around the corner. Adam stops at the curb, jerking the car into park.
He trips his way out of the front seat, leaving the door open. He’s running to me. Running back to me. I think I’m moving toward him, but I’m not sure. My heart thumps heavy in my feet, pounding through my head. Those warm hands I’ve already missed in the last forty seconds grasp my cheeks, pull me toward him, and I wait for a kiss, but it’s not what I get.
“I was wrong,” he breathes. “So incredibly wrong, and you’re right.”
“What?” I sputter, grasping onto the sides of his shirt. This is real right? I didn’t pass out or knock my head or something getting into Sierra’s car, did I?
“I love you,” he says. “You’re right… we don’t have to be a statistic. We won’t be, I know it. I know it and I’m sorry and I want to try this. No. Not try. I want to do this. Us. Be together.”
Forty thousand helium filled balloons rise in my stomach. I feel like my mind should be fuzzy, but it’s not. It’s sunny skies and rainbows up there.
“This better not be a damn joke,” I say, and he shakes his head so hard his glasses tilt.
“No joke.”
My lips turn up. “I’m in if you’re in.”
A gush of relieved breath releases from his mouth, and he presses our foreheads together. “I’m definitely in.”
Our lips meet and my body bows against his. And it doesn’t matter that he’s leaving when we’re done here. I feel like he’s not leaving at all since he’s giving me this. Distance or no distance, he’s going to be the person he always has been to me. My best friend. My listening ear. My strength when I’m weak.
And he better bet his ass I’ll be that person for him…no matter how far apart we are.
***
The warm summer night breeze blows my blonde strands from my face as I put my brand new phone to my ear. It feels huge and weird, but also so freaking amazing. I can talk till my battery dies and it won’t cost me a thing.
“Hello?”
“Four-hundred and eighty-eight minutes.” I say. “That’s how long it’s been since we said the L word. In my opinion, that’s way too long.”
Is it possible to actually hear a smile? Because I swear I can hear Adam’s.
“Agreed. I L word you, Brea.”
“I L word you too. Smartass.”
He chuckles, and I’m so glad I didn’t have to go long without that sound. “Who’s phone are you on? I didn’t recognize the number.”
“Mine. So save it.”
“Yours?”
“Happy graduation from Sierra and Jolie. They bought it for me, and I’m on a phone plan now, so please talk to me as long as possible.”
I hear a door close on his side of the phone. “You know we’re never hanging up, right?”
“I’m okay with that.” My hand drops to rest by my butt, hitting the envelope I got earlier. “Oh! I almost forgot… guess what I got today?”
“What?”
“Two Cs, a B minus, and a B.”
“You got your grades! Sweet. I knew you’d pass.”
“That makes one of us,” I say, then kiss the report card. “Thank you for helping me out. I’m pretty sure I’d be in summer school right now if it weren’t for you.”
He snorts. “You did it all by yourself, Brea. But I didn’t mind tutoring.”
“You’re cute when you play teacher. I think I’ll need help next year too. Come down on the weekends and make sure my dumb butt stays above a C.”
A low growl rocks through the phone. “You. Are. Not. Dumb.”
I bite back my smile because for so long I thought I couldn't keep up because I wasn’t smart enough. Didn’t deserve the things I really wanted, but something flipped. Adam helped me see myself in a way I was afraid to even hope for. I’m not dumb. I learn differently. I test differently. And now that I know how to study and how to test I’m actually looking forward to next year, and not just because it means Adam will be closer to coming home. “I know,” I say, and he responds with a surprised silence. Then he recovers.
“Damn straight.”
We talk so long my ear sweats against the phone. The sun has long disappeared, and I’ve jumped under my sheets. Adam has another long drive in the morning. We both know this. Yet we both keep talking…randomly dropping L bombs when it gets quiet.
“I think my phone’s dying,” I say when I hear a beep in my ear. I could plug it in, but I’m also sort of falling asleep in the position I’m in, so I’m too lazy to move.
“I need to sleep anyway,” he says through a yawn. “But I’ll call tomorrow.”
“Save my number under ‘Coolest person ever.’”
“I’m gonna use ‘Twerking Squirrel.’”
I let out a breathy laugh. “Lucky you, I’m too tired to argue.”
Now he’s the one giving breathless laughter.
“Hey, Brea?”
“Hmm?”
He pauses so long, part of my brain wonders if I zonked out on him. But then his voice rings loud and clear, making my heart pump double time.
“Will you send me some self-portrait sketches?”
I smile into my pillow. “I’ll do my best.”
“And a selfie. I need a picture of you…or fifty.”
I snap a picture, but the flash on my phone isn’t on so it’s just a black screen. I send it to him anyway.
“Wow. You look hot.”
“Thanks. I’m wearing the squirrel head.”
“I love you.”
“Love you, too. Talk to you tomorrow.”
When I hang up, my smile’s still stuck to my lips. Day one down. And if the rest of our days away from each other are like this, I can totally handle it.
Epilogue
All birthday wishes come true. Even the impossible ones.
There’s this movie called Sixteen Candles. I wonder if they ever thought of doing a sequel. Seventeen Candles. And the girl who thought she’d be alone was suddenly surrounded by loads of people. She doesn’t have a car. Didn’t really throw a party—but one was given to her without her knowledge or consent. Her big date with her boyfriend is via Skype.
And she’s happy.
I click call on Skype one last time before I have to leave. Mom’s been working at the library for almost six months now, and I love whenever she closes because I’ll get off from Nut World and use the computer to Skype with Adam till we catch the last bus home. He never misses a Skype date—Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. And just my luck, my birthday landed on a Friday, so I knew it was a long shot getting a hold of him, but I was still hoping.
His profile picture disappears from the screen as the Skype stops ringing. Even though I haven’t felt it buzz, I check my phone anyway. The only thing I’ve gotten from him is a text at six this morning saying Happy Birthday. Not his best romantic work, but at least I have that.
“You ready?” Mom asks, coming up behind me. She rubs my shoulder, and I shut down the computer.
“Yeah.” I pull my hair back into its clip, still not used to the new haircut Mom surprised me with last week. We could finally afford it, and it was getting ridiculous to use the bathroom even when it was in a ponytail. My neck hasn’t felt this cold since I was twelve. Adam said he can’t wait to plant his lips on my collar bone without eating hair. Honestly, I can’t wait either.
Mom locks the main door, a smile on her face as I tug on my bag full o
f books. It’s great to see her happy. Totally changes the mood in our house.
“Looks like you have a ride,” she says, nodding to the street by the bus stop. Sierra waves from Levi’s moped, patting the spot behind her. A laugh slips out my lips.
“Is it okay if I go with her?”
“Levi warned me they’d be kidnapping you.” Mom squeezes my shoulder. “Happy Birthday. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?”
She laughs, and Sierra honks the dinky horn.
I roll my eyes with a chuckle. I really should’ve expected it.
***
“Truth or dare,” Jolie says, her boyfriend Ren’s arm around her shoulder. She’s cut her hair too since I last saw her.
I laugh with Sierra as she continues to paint my toes. She spilled nail polish on the carpet last week, and Levi keeps flinching next to me on the couch every time she waves her hand by the open bottle. But she points out his popcorn covered shoes that hang out in the entryway of their apartment every time he brings up a mess she’s made.
“I always pick dare,” I answer, bringing my eyes back to Jolie.
She wicked grins. “I know.”
“Give it to me.” I wave my arms toward myself. I already went through the embarrassing restaurant “Happy Birthday” with my other group of friends—including Kelsi who did end up in Advanced Art with me, and Jay who hosted the thing in his huge house with about fifty people I didn’t know. I can handle anything.
“I want you to go down to the parking garage, look in the backseat of my car, and take a picture of what you see. Then send it to us.”
I narrow my eyes. “What’d you guys do?”
They don’t answer, of course, and Sierra tugs me to my feet, slides my flip flops on very carefully over my freshly painted toes, and Jolie and her shove me out the door with Jolie’s keys.
All I can think is it better not be a clown.
My flip flops slap against the concrete steps and echo around the garage when I get there. Jolie parked in Levi’s usual spot since we parked his moped closer to the stairwell.
A chill runs up my spine, and I rub my arms, wondering why I didn’t think to wear a jacket. I get close enough to Jolie’s car to notice something shift in the backseat, making me freeze in my tracks. What the hell? They better not be sicking some bear on me.
A flicker of light penetrates through the window, and in it I see red hair. Brown eyes. Glasses.
Forget the damn picture. I bolt to the car, grappling at the handle, smiling to my ears, and as soon as he’s out of the car, I dodge the lit candle and Reeses he’s holding and dive into him.
“Damn you,” I say into his shoulder, kissing the pocket tee. “No wonder you didn’t answer my Skype calls earlier.”
He laughs, rubbing my back, creating permanent tingles up and down my spine. “You would’ve seen Sierra’s apartment in the background. Spoil everything!”
“How long are you here for?”
“The weekend.”
I smile, grip the fabric of his shirt and lean up to kiss him. Oh goodness, his lips! Heaven on Earth, I tell ya.
“I don’t want to stop,” he says around my mouth, “but wax is dripping on my hand.”
I pull back with a small pout, and he sticks the Reeses in front of me. I tap my finger on my chin, contemplating what to wish for this year.
“Oh yes, take your time,” he teases. I flick his nose.
“This is a big decision. Last year I got my first kiss before I blew out my candles. It was epic. I need to one up it this year.”
He smiles and pulls me in for a brief kiss. “Epic?”
“Most definitely.”
“For me too.” His fingers brush mine. “You remember what you said a few weeks before I moved?”
“Oh yes, I remember every second of every moment ever.”
He dabs melting chocolate on my chin, and I rub it all over his cheek.
“Okay… hint then,” he says, wiping his face while I wipe mine. “It was on voicemail.”
“The one you never responded to.”
He sighs, but he’s smiling and still holding me close in the light of the candle. “You said you didn’t know if you’d fall apart when I left.” His grip tightens on my waist. “Looks like you’re intact, so I guess that meant that pieces of you went with me, yeah?”
“Your memory is uncanny. Is it eidetic?”
“Is that your word for the day?” He’s teasing now.
“On my last vocab quiz. I totally used it right.”
His laugh floats from his mouth, and I put it in my box of things to burn into my brain for when I need to hear it again. His eyes drift down a little, and a feather-light touch tickles my chest.
“I’m taking a piece of it with me,” he says, and like it heard him, that piece of my heart soars into his pocket tee.
“What will I do with the hole?” I smile, tracing a large circle against my skin.
He takes my hand and brings it to his pounding heart.
“You can have the entire thing. It’s all yours.”
I curl my fingers in his shirt, as if I’m pulling his heart from his chest. Giving him a warm smile and trying to hold back the happy tears I feel pulsing behind my eyes, I settle it in my back pocket. Then I blow the candle out, because wishes really do come true. I got a better heart after all.
Acknowledgements
Normally this is the part where I write something funny. And while I’m grateful for the random things like Wal-Mart, Twizzlers, and always… Taco Bell, this book is a little different.
Bookworm never would’ve happened if it weren’t for the awesome fans of Nerd and Band Geek, and to all you kick-butt people, I love you, and I hope Adam and Brea’s story was as good as you hoped it to be.
Special shout-outs to my Beta Book Peeps and my Awesome Nerds. Without you guys I’d never write anything. (And extra shout out to Teresa for coming up with the idea to have Zak and Zoe’s wedding on May the Fourth. Nerdy genius, you are.)
Hugs and nerdy high-fives to Theresa, Rachel, Kelley, Ilima, Jolene, Jenny, Jennie, Hope, and Jessica for reading this book on the many deadlines it had.
The biggest *live long and prosper* salute to my amazing cover models Tanna Janet and Dalton Lundy. Not to sound like a creeper, but you both look so much like Brea and Adam I want lots and lots of photos so I can feel like my characters are actually alive. Alright, maybe that’s not creepy, but it is a little crazy.
Chest bumps to my cover photographer, Laura from PepperJack Photography. I hope you’re prepared for more cover requests because you captured this book perfectly.
Thank you and big fangirl squeal to Kelly Oram for blurbing this book with the subject line of “I’d buy Adam’s Nuts!”
Love to my family, my sisters and mom, my kiddos and the hubs. Your support means everything.
I have to thank all nerds, band geeks, and bookworms everywhere for being inspiring and embracing who they are.
Lastly, I’m going to thank my characters, which is weird but I don’t care. It’s a bittersweet feeling to say goodbye to a world that means so much, and even though they aren’t real, they feel very real to me. So thank you Zak and Zoe, Levi and Sierra, and Adam and Brea. I hope that your stories touch someone’s heart as much as they’ve touched mine.
Peace, love, and may the force be with you. ;)
Also by Cassie Mae
Young Adult
How to Date a Nerd (How to series #1)
How to Seduce a Band Geek (How to series #2)
How to Hook a Bookworm (How to series #3)
Reasons I Fell for the Funny Fat Friend
Secret Catch (with Jessica Salyer)
King Sized Beds and Happy Trails (Beds series #1)
Beach Side Beds and Sandy Paths (Beds series #2)
True Love and Magic Tricks (Beds series novella #0.5)
(with Tessa Marie)
New Adult
Unexpectedly You (with Mia Josephs)
/>
The Real Thing
Switched
Friday Night Alibi
Cut Off (coming Fall 2015!)
About the Author
Cassie Mae (who dons the name Becca Ann on occasion) is the author of a few hundred… okay, maybe not that many… books. Some of which became popular for their quirky titles, characters, and stories. She likes writing about nerds, geeks, the awkward, the fluffy, the short, the shy, the loud, the fun.
Since publishing her bestselling debut, Reasons I Fell for the Funny Fat Friend, she has published and sold books to Random House, Swoon Romance, and Spencer Hill Press. She is represented by Rachel Stout at Dystel and Goderich Literary Management. She has a favorite of all her babies, but no, she won’t tell you what it is. (Mainly because it changes depending on the day.)
Along with writing, Cassie likes to binge watch Teen Wolf and The Big Bang Theory. She can quote Harry Potter lines quick as a whip. And she likes kissing her hubby, but only if his facial hair is trimmed. She also likes cheesecake to a very obsessive degree.
You can stalk, talk, or send pictures of Dylan O’Brien to her on her Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/cassiemaeauthor