“Are you going to sleep like that?” Diesel asked. “Don’t you want to get undressed? Do you need help?”
“If I sleep like this, I don’t have to get dressed in the morning . . . which is only three hours away.”
“It would be more fun if you put those little shorts back on.”
“I’m not interested in fun. I’m interested in sleep. And you promised you weren’t sleeping here.”
Diesel crawled onto the bed. “I lied.”
I fluffed my pillow and pulled the quilt over myself. “If you touch me, I’ll hurt you.”
“I’m hard to hurt.”
“I’ll find a way. I’m motivated.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
We both groaned out loud when the alarm went off.
“I need to get you a new job,” Diesel said. “One that starts at noon.”
“I had that job. I like this one better. And my job would be fine if it wasn’t for your job.”
I dragged myself to the bathroom, stumbled down the stairs, and started coffee brewing. I fed Cat and ate half a loaf of bread while I waited for the coffee. I scrambled four eggs and ate them with two more slices of bread. I had a second cup of coffee and caught myself pawing through the trash, looking for muffin bottoms. I yelled for Diesel, but there was no response.
I ran up the stairs and looked at the man in my bed. He was sound asleep, and from what I could see from the clothes on the floor and the half of him that wasn’t covered by quilt, he was naked. I enjoyed the view for a couple minutes, thinking it would be nice to kiss the back of his neck, his bare shoulder, the small of his back . . . Good grief! Get a grip, Lizzy.
“Hey!” I yelled at him. “Wake up.”
“I’m awake.”
“I’m hungry,” I told him.
“And?”
“And I’m not supposed to be. I’m not carrying the ladybug. Why am I still hungry?”
“Can we discuss this in five or six hours?”
“I’ll weigh two hundred pounds by then. I just caught myself looking for muffin leavings.”
“Honey, anyone would be tempted to do that. They were really good muffins.”
“The cat ate them! They were in the garbage!”
“Yeah, that’s a little extreme,” he said. “If you come back to bed, I’ll take your mind off it.”
I mentally ticked off reasons to crawl back into bed. Number one: He was hot and mouth-wateringly handsome. Number two: I was almost certain he was a good person. Number three: He was already naked, so that awkward undressing moment would be cut in half. And here was the big, scary number four: I was possibly enamored. Diesel was fascinating, and hard as I tried to keep things in proper perspective, I found myself increasingly attracted to him. Of course, this morning I’d also felt that way about the muffins in the garbage.
“Returning to bed has some appeal,” I told him, “but I have to go to work. Don’t you want to get up and protect me?”
“No.”
“What if Wulf gets me?”
“Wulf has crazy Steven Hatchet. He doesn’t need you.”
“Yes, but suppose he thinks I’ve got the charm and maybe even the rest of the inherited whatevers?”
“It’s no big deal. He’ll do a strip search, and when he finds out you’re clean, he’ll turn you loose.”
A strangled sound emerged from the back of my throat and my stomach got sick. “Ulk.”
“You’re right,” Diesel said. “It would be more fun if I did the strip search.”
“That’s not what I was thinking!”
He swung his legs over the side of the bed. “I guess it was what I was thinking. Give me a minute and I’ll drive you to the bakery.”
I liked riding in Diesel’s SUV. It still had new-car smell, the seats were leather, and everything worked.
“Is this a company car?” I asked him.
“I never thought of it that way, but I guess it is. Gwen had it waiting for me when I got here.”
“Have you ever seen Gwen?”
“Yeah.”
“Is she pretty?”
Diesel smiled. “Do you care?”
“I’m curious.”
“She’s pretty, but she’s not my type,” Diesel said.
“What’s your type?”
“Easy.”
“I guess that leaves me out, too.”
“Yeah. And it’s a real pain in the ass.”
A light rain started to fall, and Diesel switched the wipers on. Even in bright sunlight, New England mostly looks practical. When it rains, it can be downright grim. The outside of the bakery is weathered gray clapboard, with nautical blue shutters, and the hand-painted sign over the door simply says DAZZLE’S. I like the way the building has aged, and that I have a sense of history when I walk through the front door. And I especially like that on a dark, rainy day, the inside light pours out through the two large display windows onto the sidewalk, like a beacon advertising cake and happiness.
Henley’s Hardware is to one side in a structure almost as old as Dazzle’s. The small, bedraggled saltbox on the other side of the bakery has changed hands twice in the short amount of time I’ve been here. The current occupants are trying to make a go of a vintage movie poster shop.
Diesel cruised past Vintage Posters, Dazzle’s, and Henley’s and turned at the corner. At this early hour, the bakery showroom was dark and the front door was locked. Diesel drove down the service alley running behind the bakery, and from half a block away, I could see light spilling out the open back door to the bakery kitchen.
“I guess if you have to go to work at this unholy hour, a bakery is about as good as it gets,” Diesel said. “I wouldn’t mind being surrounded by cakes and pies every morning.”
I looked over at him. “You aren’t gluttonously hungry, are you?”
“No. I’m normally hungry. How about you?”
“I’d eat your sneakers if they had barbecue sauce on them. It’s not fair. You’ve got the charm, and I’m the one eating everything in sight.”
“I guess you’re the chosen one,” Diesel said. “Too bad we aren’t collecting the SALIGIA charms that control lust. You’d be thinner, and I’d be happier.”
The thought sent a shudder through me. I already had a lot of lust for Diesel without help from an enchanted charm. I didn’t want to contemplate enchanted lust. I mean, suppose I wanted Diesel with the same intensity I wanted a jelly doughnut or a Rice Krispies Treat! I might cripple him.
Diesel smiled.
“You didn’t hear that, did you?” I asked him.
“No, but you were looking at me like I was a turkey dinner.”
He parked in the small lot behind the bakery, cut the engine, and released his seat belt.
“You don’t have to come in,” I told him.
“Sure I do. I’m the big strong Unmentionable who’s protecting you. I’m sticking to you like glue.”
“I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want you anywhere near me. I want you to go far, far away. I think it must be that the charm is too close to me. Maybe you should put it in a safe-deposit box or FedEx it to your boss.”
“I can’t give the charm to the BUM yet. I need to keep the charm until we get all the pieces and I’m sure we have the original Stone.”
“I’m having a hard time thinking straight right now,” I said. “I can’t get my mind off bacon, but I’m sure I’ll be fine without you. I have Clara and Glo to protect me.”
I jumped out of the SUV, ran to the bakery door, and made shooing gestures at Diesel. Diesel watched me for a moment and took off.
“We have an order for sixty cupcakes for a lunchtime baby shower today,” Clara said. “Yellow cake with pink icing.”
A warm flush ran from my chest to my stomach. “I love yellow cake and pink icing.”
“You look kind of goofy,” Clara said. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I was just thinking about the cakes.”
Clara powered up the big bread
mixer. “And don’t forget Shirley increased her order.”
I got butter and milk from the fridge and set it out on my workstation. “I’m on it.”
Ten minutes later, I had a cauldron of cake batter in front of me.
“What are you doing?” Clara yelled from across the room.
“I’m making cake.”
“No, you’re not. You’re eating cake. I’ve been watching you. You’ve eaten half the batter.”
I stared into the bowl. Clara was right. There was a lot of batter missing.
“I’ve never seen you scarf down raw batter like that,” Clara said. “What’s going on?”
I told her about the SALIGIA Stones, Shirley’s ladybug charm, and my food obsession.
“I’m on board with the Unmentionable thing,” Clara said. “I understand that people have abilities in varying degrees and that sometimes those abilities are beyond normal. The SALIGIA Stones are different. They’re a tough sell.”
“Kind of Indiana Jones.”
“Yeah. Maybe Diesel has doctored the story. I could see him trying to get his hands on something valuable. I’m having trouble buying the hell-on-earth bit.”
I nodded in agreement. I was attracted to Diesel, but let’s be honest, it wasn’t much of a stretch to think he would fib if it suited his purposes.
“What do you think I should do?” I asked Clara. “I can’t lock him out of my house. He just lets himself back in. And I feel better about him than Wulf. At least when Diesel’s around, I don’t have to worry about getting burned.”
And he looks wonderful with or without clothes, I thought, and I like the way he feels when he’s next to me.
“Just be careful, and try to be smart,” Clara said. “And if you feel really uncomfortable about it all, you’re welcome to stay upstairs with me. And for goodness sakes, stop eating the cake batter.”
“I’m hoping after Diesel and the charm are out of my space for a while I’ll get back to normal.”
“That would be good, because at the rate you’re snacking on batter, we’re not going to have anything to sell today.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
At five minutes to eight, Clara stopped at my station to watch me tube pink icing onto the vanilla cupcakes.
“You haven’t eaten anything for almost an hour now,” she said.
I set my pastry bag aside and took up a shaker of red sugar sprinkles. “Yeah. And I have no desire to eat anything ever again.”
The back door banged open and Glo charged in.
“Oops, sorry,” she said. “Guess I pushed the door too hard. My mind was someplace else.”
“Where was it?” Clara wanted to know.
“It wasn’t in any place good. I have a big problem.”
“Gosh, imagine that,” Clara said.
Glo shrugged out of her black sweatshirt and into her bakery smock. “A couple months ago, I was at a party and one of the guys worked for an animal rescue group. He was a really cute guy, and that’s such a good cause. I mean, how could you not like a guy who rescues sad little baby animals? Anyway, I sort of signed up to give a home to one of the sad little abandoned babies.”
“Sort of?” Clara asked.
“Okay, I totally signed. It was a moment of weakness, and this guy was such a hottie. And I didn’t know back then that my landlord was allergic. And the bottom line is, I totally forgot all about it until the critter was delivered first thing this morning.”
“I don’t want it,” Clara said.
“I know!” Glo wailed. “And Lizzy already has a kitty. I’m so screwed. I don’t know what to do.”
“Just give it back to the rescue people,” Clara said.
Glo buttoned her smock. “I tried that. They said possession was nine-tenths of the law, and they wouldn’t take it back. I guess some of these animals have behavioral problems.”
“And you agreed to take on a pet with behavioral problems?”
“Did I mention how cute the guy was? And that he drove a Corvette?”
Clara and I exchanged glances.
“Where’s the problem child now?” Clara asked.
“In my car,” Glo said.
I had a vision of some poor, scared kitten locked up in Glo’s car all day.
“You can’t leave it in your car,” I told her. “I suppose I could see if it gets along with Cat 7143.”
Glo’s eyes opened wide. “Omigosh, that would be so awesome. That would be amazing!”
Glo ran out the door, and a moment later, she returned with a monkey on a leash.
“That’s a monkey,” I said to her.
“Yeah.”
“I thought you got something from animal rescue.”
“Actually, it was Monkey Rescue.”
“I don’t want a monkey,” I told her. “I’m not a monkey person.”
The monkey did a gruesome monkey smile, its lips pulled back to reveal a mouthful of monkey teeth, his monkey eyes overly big and bright, as if he was trying hard to look happy but was completely insane.
“Look how cute he is,” Glo said. “And he likes you. He’s smiling.”
I thought he looked like he was planning to chop me up into little pieces and stuff me into the blender.
“I have to open the bakery,” Clara said. “You guys are going to have to work something out with the monkey. He can’t stay here.” Her attention moved to the back door and her mouth dropped open. “Holy cow,” she said.
It was Wulf. He was standing in the doorway, his dark eyes fixed on me. He was wearing a black leather jacket, black slacks, black boots, and his glossy black hair was tied back at the nape of his neck. I felt a chill run through me, and I went breathless at the sight of him. He was terrifyingly compelling.
“I believe you have something that belongs to me,” Wulf said.
I opened my mouth to deny it, but it took a while for sound to come out. “N-n-no,” I finally said.
Wulf moved toward me. “We’ll see.”
I scrambled to the other side of the workstation, putting the island between us. “I swear I haven’t got anything.”
“Stay away from her,” Glo said. “Or else.”
Wulf’s focus never wavered. His eyes were fixed on me with an intensity that made my skin prickle.
“Come here,” he said. “Trust me, you don’t want to make me angry.”
Glo was standing by the table we used for the meat pies. She snatched a garlic clove out of a bin and threw it at Wulf. It hit him in the side of the head and bounced off onto the floor.
“Death to vampires,” Glo said.
Wulf flicked his eyes to the garlic. “If only it was that easy,” he said.
“Lenny’s inheritance got blown up with the chicken, and Diesel has Shirley’s,” I told Wulf.
There was a flash of fire and lots of smoke, and when the smoke cleared, Wulf was gone.
The monkey peeked out from behind Glo. “Eep!”
That pretty much summed it up for all of us.
“I’m impressed,” I said to Glo. “You were really gutsy to throw that garlic at him.”
“Yeah, but now I might fall over,” she said. “I’ve gotta sit down. I need a cupcake or something. Holy bejeezus, he’s one scary guy.”
Clara scooted a chair under Glo, and I gave her a cupcake. The monkey looked freaked, so I gave him a cupcake, too. Everyone took a moment to breathe.
“Okay, I feel better,” Glo said. “I’m not going to throw up or anything.”
“Someone’s pounding on the front door,” Clara said. “I’m ten minutes late to open.”
Glo and I followed Clara into the shop and looked out at Shirley hammering on the door. She was bug-eyed, and her hair was Wild Woman. She was wearing a misbuttoned white shirt, and her skirt was twisted off center.
“Eek! Eek, eek, eeeeek!” Shirley said, charging into the bakery, waving her arms. “Boogie man ramma framma me. Icky poopy.” Shirley gave a shiver and made spitting sounds. “Pthu, pthu.”
&nbs
p; “Something bad happened?” Clara asked.
Shirley nodded her head and gave herself a frantic pat down. “Grabby flabby big boys, bum, scooter pie.” Her eyes narrowed. “Slippery fur forest and brown Betty!”
“We don’t make scooter pies,” Glo said.
Shirley pointed to her crotch. “Scooter pie!”
A wave of nausea slipped through my stomach. “You were strip-searched.”
Shirley put her fingertip to her nose. “Beck.”
“Was it Wulf?” I asked.
Shirley nodded. “And peepee Snatch Bagger.”
“You should go to the police,” Glo said.
Shirley rolled her eyes and pointed to her mouth. “Snot gobble.”
“Yeah, that’s a problem,” Glo said, “but we could translate.”
I gave Shirley a cupcake to calm her down. “Language isn’t the biggest problem. I’m not sure the police can do anything with Wulf. Either he’s a figment of our imaginations, or else he actually disappears in a puff of smoke.”
Diesel strolled in from the kitchen. “The smoke is just theatrics. Wulf thinks it’s fun. The problem would be with containment.”
“What are you doing back at the bakery?” I asked him. “Did you know Wulf was here?”
“No. I knew food was here.”
“Wulf was here, but Glo hit him with a clove of garlic and scared him away. Or maybe he left because I told him you had Shirley’s inheritance.”
Diesel looked over at Shirley. “Shirley looks like she had a rough night.”
“More like a rough morning,” I told him. “Wulf came looking for the charm.”
“Was Wulf alone?” Diesel asked.
Shirley held up two fingers. “Nut sucker by Snatch Bagger.” She jumped around making slashing motions like she had a sword.
“I’m not getting an exact translation on this,” Diesel said.
Shirley stopped jumping and her eyes practically popped out of her head, spotting the monkey for the first time. “Jeepers!”
The monkey was sitting on a counter, stuffing his face with cupcakes. He realized everyone was staring at him and his mouth opened and a chunk of cake fell out.
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