by Jill Sanders
“I suppose neither of us knows what that’s like.”
“I’ve often wondered...” She bit her bottom lip, her blue eyes searching his. “Never mind.”
“Oh no,” he joked. “Don’t hold back. Tell me.” He took her hips in his hands and pulled her back towards him.
“It’s nothing.” She waited and when he continued to hold her close, she sighed and finished. “I’ve often wondered if I would end up being a terrible mother, like she was.”
It cut him straight to his heart. Hadn’t he thought the same thing? He used to fool himself that he’d never allow anyone to get close to him, since he was surely as damaged as his mother had been. Who, in their right mind, would ever want to be with someone who, at the drop of a hat, could be so self-centered?
“I’ve thought the same thing about myself.” It came out as a whisper. “But I’d like to think that we make our own fates. Just because we didn’t have great role models doesn’t mean that the know-how isn’t locked somewhere deep inside us.” He tapped her chest lightly, then his own. “I think you’d make a wonderful mother.” He leaned down and placed a kiss softly on her lips.
“You’re not pregnant?” He heard her mother’s voice from a few feet away. They’d been so caught up in their conversation, that they hadn’t heard Charity and Ralph approach them on two large black and brown horses.
Willow laughed and took a step back. “Of course not.” It came bursting out of her.
The air was still for a moment and everyone silently looked at one another before Ralph jumped in.
“I’ve stocked your fridge and cupboards. You should be set for a while, but if you need anything else, give me a shout.”
“Thanks.” Caleb nodded and took up Willow’s hand since she was fidgeting with her jacket zipper.
“I didn’t know you had horses.” Willow slowly approached them.
“Ralph persuaded me to get a few horses last year. They help when we want to check up on the cattle. If you want, feel free to take them out. They are both so gentle.” Her mother leaned down and pet the mane of the horse she was on. “Maybe you’d like to go riding with me tomorrow?”
Willow looked towards Caleb and he gave an encouraging nod of his head.
“I’d like that.” He could hear the hint of unsureness in her voice.
“Let’s say around noon?” Her mother’s voice was full of excitement.
Willow nodded her head in agreement.
“Perfect, I’ll meet you in the barn at noon.” Her mother’s smile doubled.
“Well, we’d better let you two get back to your walk,” Ralph said, tipping the straw hat that was on his head. “Evening.”
“Night,” Caleb said, taking up Willow’s hand and heading back towards the cabin. They walked in silence for a while until they reached the back porch of the cabin.
“I’m not sure I should go.” She sat in the large glider. He followed her, taking her hand in his.
“Why not? I thought you’d made up your mind to give her a second chance?”
She nodded slowly. “I have.” She took a couple deep breaths. “But that doesn’t mean it will be easy.”
He chuckled and pulled her closer. “Nothing in life worth obtaining ever is.” He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head as they watched the sun sink below the trees.
Chapter Twelve
Willow was more nervous than she’d been on her first date in junior high. Her palms were sweaty and she was finding it hard to hold onto the reins. Her pulse kicked every time she thought about opening her mouth.
She knew she had to say something, but every time she thought of something, she felt her jaw freeze up. So many questions popped into her mind.
She didn’t want to listen to excuses of why her mother hadn’t been there. Why she hadn’t cared enough to stop her reckless life and take care of her responsibilities.
“I’m so happy you decided to come here.” Her mother broke into her thoughts.
Willow looked over and saw that there were tears rolling down her mother’s face. Just the sight of them caused her heart to melt a little.
“I didn’t know where else to go,” she said truthfully.
“What about Wendy?”
“She’s staying with her fiancé, Cole.”
Her mother nodded and used the sleeve of her jacket to wipe the tears from her face.
“You don’t have to cry, you know.” It came out a little harsh, so she followed it up with. “Caleb won’t let anything happen to us.”
“It’s not that.” Her mother pulled on her reins until the horse stopped. Willow did the same and stopped right next to her. “I’ve spent years wondering how to mend this.” She motioned between them. “I was young and stupid when I fell in love with your father. Billy was...” She sighed. “Everything I’d ever dreamed of. He was tall, handsome, charming, and a big enough bad boy that it would piss off my parents.” She chuckled softly. “I was spoiled and selfish.”
Willow watched her mother’s fingers fidget with the horse reins, then glanced down at her own fingers and realized she was doing the same thing and stopped.
“I wish there was a magic time machine to take me back and give me—us—a second chance.” More tears rolled down her mother’s cheeks. “I would do anything, give up anything, to have a second chance with you.”
Willow’s throat closed up and she felt her own tears sting the back of her eyes.
“I won’t ask for forgiveness because, let’s face it, I don’t deserve it, but I will ask for another chance at being friends. I know you don’t want or need a mother at this point, but maybe you could use a friend?”
It took a moment for her to answer, and when she did, her voice cracked and wavered. “I’d like that.” She had to sniffle and wipe her own tears on the sleeve of her light jacket.
Her mother smiled and did the same with her jacket. “Now, let me show you the rest of the farm.”
They spent the next hour riding the fence line of the field. When they came upon a calf that had gotten stuck in the fence, Willow helped her mother pull the small thing free of the wires and put salve on the few cuts in his back hide.
“Why didn’t you sell this place? You know, after your parents... Grandma and Grandpa died?”
Her mother smiled as she mounted her horse again. “I guess you could say spending years behind bars changed me. After being locked up for so long, all I could dream about was being back here.” She sighed and looked around. “I never would have imagined that this place could mean so much to me.”
“Do you love it?” She didn’t know what had caused her to ask the question, since she could already see it in her mother’s eyes.
“More than I ever dreamed I could. What about you? Do you love your job at the Gulfarium?”
Willow nodded her head slowly. “Did you have anything to do with me getting the job?”
Her mother was silent for a while. “No, not me directly.”
“Who then?”
“Ralph.” Her mother started walking her horse again. Willow jumped up on hers and followed.
“Ralph? What do you mean?”
Charity glanced over at her. “Ralph owns the place.”
“What?” Willow almost fell off the back of the horse as her mother chuckled.
“I mentioned to him that you’d just graduated from FSU and how worried I was that there weren’t enough jobs out there to support a young woman such as yourself.”
“Ralph owns the Gulfarium?” She couldn’t seem to wrap her mind around it.
“Yes, and several other animal habitats along the coast. The Dolphin Preserve in Panama City Beach, several local no-kill animal shelters, and a few other businesses.”
“Ralph?” Willow glanced back up towards the house. Ralph was tall, thin, and somewhat good-looking, but she would have never pegged him for a business owner. Especially one of so many large and successful businesses.
Ralph’s silver hair and short beard made him
look years older than her mother, but now that she thought about it, she supposed that they were almost the same age. “I guess I owe him a thank you.” She turned to her mother. Her words stuck in her throat when she saw the amount of pleasure in her eyes. “How did you two meet?” Willow asked as they started to make their way back towards the barn.
“That’s a funny story.” Her mother proceeded to tell her how she’d met Ralph when she’d run over a small raccoon. She’d taken the hurt animal to the local clinic. Ralph had been working behind the counter and she’d assumed that he was just an employee. He’d taken the hurt animal to the back and proceeded to work on it himself.
“So, naturally, I then assumed that he was the veterinarian.” She chuckled as she started to brush the horse down. They had made it back to the barn and had removed both horses’ saddles. They took turns brushing the animals down and feeding them hay and grains. “Well, when he came out and told me that the poor creature hadn’t made it, naturally I was upset. So you can imagine my surprise when he blurted out a dinner invitation.”
Willow smiled. “So you went out with him then?”
“No.” Her mother smiled and leaned back against the horse’s neck. “I was upset that he would even ask me after telling me he couldn’t save the raccoon.”
Willow frowns. “What happened then?”
“I told him where to go.” Her mother laughed. “And stormed out.”
“But?”
“Then, after I’d cooled off for a few days, I had a knock on the door and imagine my surprise when it was Ralph standing there with a small box. I was instantly worried that he was stalking me, but he told me he’d gotten my address off the information I’d filled in at the clinic. He then showed me a box full of baby raccoons that needed help. It turns out that he’d gone to check out where I’d hit the poor thing and found the babies not far away.”
“What did you do?”
“Well, I took them in of course, and went out on a date with Ralph. Any man who would go out in a rainstorm and find four helpless baby raccoons and nurse them back to health was okay in my books.”
Willow chuckled. “What happened to the raccoons?”
“Oh, they’re around here somewhere. When they got big enough, we turned them loose. They come up to the main house every now and then, begging for some of my pecan pie.”
They were silent as they finished up in the barn. As they walked back towards the main house, her mother turned to her. “Would you two care to join us for dinner tonight? Ralph put a brisket on earlier today. I’m sure there’s plenty for all of us.”
“Well...” She thought about Caleb’s words, about giving her mother another chance. Hadn’t she listened to everything the woman said today with an open mind? Why then did she still hesitate when asked if she wanted to spend more time with her and the man who was responsible for giving her the dream job?
“Sure, I’ll just want to clean up first.” She looked down at her dirty jeans and shirt.
“How about we say in an hour?”
Willow nodded and turned to go.
“Willow?” her mother called after her. She turned back towards her. “I’m glad you went on that ride with me today.”
Her mother held her breath for a response.
Willow smiled. “Me too.” And she meant it.
Caleb was pacing the floor downstairs, waiting for Willow to finish getting dressed after her shower. He’d changed into a pair of dress jeans and a button-up shirt.
The talk he’d had with Ralph that morning while the ladies had been on their ride had opened his eyes a little more about the man.
“So...” Ralph slapped him on the back as he helped the man clean out the stalls in the barn. “You’ve got it bad, huh?”
“Is that really what you wanted to chat about while shoveling shit?”
The man had burst out in laughter. “No, that’s just an observation.” They cleaned for a while longer, and when they were laying the fresh hay down, Ralph turned to him and said. “Just how bad of trouble are you two in, son?”
Caleb set down the pitchfork and leaned against it. “Pretty bad. I think I’ve really screwed things up. Not only with my life, but now I’ve dragged Willow and possibly her sister into things as well.”
Ralph tilted his head and looked at him. “Billy really did a number?”
Caleb shook his head. “It’s not all Billy’s fault. Not really. I made a promise to him to never go looking for him or the girls.”
“Why did you?”
Caleb shrugged his shoulders and looked out the barn door towards the field where he knew Willow was out riding horses with her mother.
“I guess I just wanted to see if it was true.”
“What?”
“That he could really stay hidden for all those years without thinking about me.” He tossed down the pitchfork and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I mean; he was like a father to me. Then he just up and left me in the hands of the government while he ran back to his happy life.”
He didn’t know where the bitterness had come in, but something shifted in his chest just getting it out in the open.
Ralph walked over to him and put his hand on his shoulder. “Son, I never knew the guy personally, but from what I hear, both Charity and he were pretty screwed up back then. We all make choices, mistakes, when we’re younger.” The man exhaled and glanced out the doors. “From the sound of it, you’ve made a few yourself. What separates us from apes is the ability to learn and grow.” He nodded off towards the cabin. “I’ve just met Willow, but since she’s so much like her mother, I can see the look in her eyes when she looks at you. Don’t make another mistake as you find a way out of this mess.”
Caleb bobbed his head and bent to pick up the pitchfork again.
Over the next half an hour, Caleb had found out a little more about the man. Charity was his first wife and he had no kids of his own. He’d had a high school sweetheart, but she’d died at a very young age and he’d spent most of his young life mourning her.
Ralph made himself very clear that he meant business when it came to keeping Charity and Willow safe.
He was shocked to find out who the man was and the businesses he owned. He could see where his personal loyalties could easily translate to the business world and his love of animals.
After helping out in the barn, he followed the man out into the greenhouse and helped him with all of the plants. He’d never been around growing things before and found the chores absolutely fascinating.
He’d even started dreaming about a little garden of his own, with Willow. Close to sunset, he started back towards the cabin to shower and change for dinner. Ralph had invited them up to the main house that evening.
“Well?” He heard her soft voice from the top of the stairs. When he looked up, he lost his breath completely.
She was wearing a simple black spaghetti-strapped dress. Her long hair was tied up in a bun at the top of her head with curly whisks falling around her face. When she came down the stairs, he noticed the thin heels she was wearing and he felt his mouth go dry.
As she stopped in front of him, his arms wrapped around her waist automatically.
“You look amazing.” He thought he heard his voice crack, so he quickly leaned in and placed his lips over hers before she could laugh at him.
“Thank you, so do you.” She smiled up at him after he’d pulled away.
“Are you sure we have to head over for dinner? I’m pretty sure what I want to enjoy is right here.” His fingers dug into her soft hips, pulling her closer.
She laughed and tried to pull back. “I’m trying to make an effort with my mother, remember?”
He loved seeing her smile and hearing her laugh. Seeing her happy was almost as good as seeing her laid out below him as he took her.
Taking her hand, he pulled it up to his lips and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles. “Then we’d better get going. We’re already past our hour mark.”
Cal
eb had never sat down for a family meal before, either with his family or that of a girl he was interested in. He was nervous and unsure of how to act. Thankfully, he was saved any embarrassment the moment they got there when Ralph answered the front door in a shirt covered in mashed potatoes.
“Sorry, there was an... incident in the kitchen.” He chuckled. “Make yourselves at home. Charity is in the kitchen cleaning up. I’ll just run upstairs and change out of this.” He motioned towards his ruined shirt.
“It’s still so hard to believe that he’s my boss,” Willow whispered. “Well, not my boss, but my boss’s boss.” She shook her head as she walked further into the living room. “I remember coming here twice when I was a kid.” She crossed her arms over her chest and walked towards the fireplace. “The first time was with my mother, before...” She turned and looked at him, so he nodded his head in understanding. “Anyway, she got in an argument with her father, my grandfather, about something while I played with an old dog they had.” She stopped and looked down at the rug that sat right in front of the hearth. “The second time, Wendy had forced me to try and be nice with my grandparents after my mother was locked up. They were old and smelled like ham,” she blurted out.
He chuckled as he walked closer to her. “I don’t even know if my grandparents are still alive.” He wrapped his arms around her waist.
“What about your mother?” Willow frowned up at him.
He only had time to shrug before Willow’s mother came rushing in. Her hair was slightly messed up and there was a hint of mashed potatoes on her blouse.
“Sorry, the blender decided to blow up.” She was smiling as she walked in and gave Willow a slight hug. “Would you two like something to drink? We have sweet tea or coffee?”
“Tea is fine,” he said, noticing how Willow had tensed slightly when her mother had gone in for the hug.
“I can help.” Willow started to move towards the kitchen.
“Oh, nonsense. You’re our guest tonight. We don’t get too many people visiting out here, so you’ll have to pardon us as we try to spoil you.”