by Amy Clipston
Turning toward the barn, she spotted her sister trotting toward her clad in a dark purple Plain dress, complete with a black apron and cape and a white prayer Kapp covering her bun.
Gasping, Jessica shook her head, hoping that she was imagining her sister dressed like that. However, as Lindsay approached, the image didn’t fade.
“What are you doing?” Lindsay yelled, a frown creasing lines into her pretty face. “Don’t you realize it’s Sunday? We don’t do chores on Sunday!”
“Whoa!” Jessica shook her head again, fury bubbling within her. “What are you wearing? Is today Halloween?”
“Very funny.” Lindsay gestured toward Jessica’s clothes. “It’s more than you have on! This isn’t a beach, you know. Daniel will flip when he sees you.” She cut her eyes behind her to where another buggy crunched in the rocks toward the barn. “You better go change while you have the chance. He won’t be happy when he sees this.”
“Oh no.” Jessica shook her head. “Don’t change the subject. What were you thinking?” She grabbed her sister’s arm and yanked her closer. “Lindsay, why are you letting her brainwash you? Remember that little church we went to back home? You know, the one we grew up in? It’s not Amish or even Mennonite!”
Scowling, her younger sister wrenched her arm from Jessica’s grasp. “No one is brainwashing me. I happen to feel comfortable dressed like this.” She smoothed the apron, and her expression softened. “I think I look good in it. It makes me feel closer to Mom.”
A wave of disappointment mixed with despair surged through Jessica. She had to fight to keep Lindsay on her side. “Lindsay, we’re not going to stay here. Trisha is going to get custody of us, and we can go back home. We belong there, not here.”
“This is my home now,” her younger sister said, her expression hardening again.
“You don’t mean that,” Jessica whispered. “Your home is with Trisha and Frank and our friends. This is just a place to stay until Trisha can work something out. We can finish school and then go on to college. If we stay here, we’ll suffocate.”
“No.” Lindsay shook her head. “I think you need to open your eyes and your heart to the truth. God has a plan for us, and He needs us here. You should’ve come to service today. You would’ve seen how wonderful this community is and how much they want us here. Although the service was mostly in German, I still felt a part of something bigger. I felt God’s presence in my life. It gave me a peace I haven’t felt since Mom and Dad died.”
Jessica blew out a sigh. This nightmare was worse than she’d imagined. She was losing her sister, the only family she had left. As if it weren’t bad enough to lose her parents, now her sister was going to join the Faith and leave her behind.
“What’s going on here?” a voice boomed behind them.
Jessica turned to see Daniel staring at her wide-eyed. “Daniel,” she said, her body trembling in response to his accusing stare. She folded her arms across her chest. “I wasn’t expecting you back so soon. I was hoping to have the weeding—”
Daniel turned. “Rebecca!” he bellowed.
Rebecca gazed over from where she stood with Robert, Sadie, and their children. Jessica swallowed a groan when the group faced them, and their eyes rounded at the sight of her. She wished she could crawl into the trash can full of weeds and hide from the glares.
Daniel hollered something in Pennsylvania Dutch, and Rebecca rushed over. When Rebecca’s eyes met Jessica, a surprised gasp escaped her lips. She then hurried over to Jessica, Lindsay, and Daniel.
Daniel prattled on in Pennsylvania Dutch, his face red with anger. He gestured wildly, and Rebecca nodded, whispering something under her breath. She then looped her arm around Jessica’s shoulders and steered her toward the house.
Before reaching the stairs, Jessica cut her eyes to her sister and found her surrounded by Daniel and his family. Katie Kauffman sidled up to Lindsay and placed a hand on her shoulder. Lindsay and Katie looked so comfortable together, both dressed the same.
Lindsay looked like one of them, and an overwhelming emptiness consumed Jessica. She blinked back tears at the realization that she’d lost her sister.
“What are they doing here?” Jessica asked Rebecca as they stepped into the house.
“Robert and his family are here to visit,” Rebecca said, her gentle voice a stark contrast to her husband’s rant.
“I messed up, huh?” Jessica asked, swallowing her tears.
“You could say that,” Rebecca said.
“I was only trying to—”
“Shh.” Rebecca led her to the back staircase. “Just go and get changed. We’ll talk later.”
Jessica stared at Rebecca. She was tired of being corrected and ordered around like some stupid, irresponsible kid. She resented their judgmental stares and their ridiculous rules. She wanted to go home, and despite what her sister said, this wasn’t home!
“What, Jessica?” Rebecca asked while pushing back a wisp of her hair that had fallen from beneath her prayer Kapp. “What is it?”
“Why don’t we just get it over with now?” Jessica asked, folding her arms with impatience. “I know what you’re going to say.”
Rebecca gave a sigh of defeat. “And what is it that I’m going to say, Jessica?”
Jessica studied her brown eyes. She looked tired. Maybe she was as tired of Jessica as she was of her aunt. “You hate me, don’t you?” Jessica asked, her voice trembling with a sorrow she hadn’t expected.
“No.” Rebecca’s eyes softened as she reached for Jessica’s hands. “I could never hate you.”
Jessica stepped back from her reach, afraid of the comfort Rebecca seemed to want to offer. “You’re sick of dealing with me. I’m the bad kid while my sister is the perfect one, running around in that long dress. She’s the daughter you’d always dreamt of, but I’m just the problem child. I’m an unexpected bump in the road that has brought you nothing but headaches and heartache.”
“No, that’s not true.” Rebecca shook her head. “I love you both. I just wish you would give us a chance instead of pushing us away and running around in clothes that deliberately upset Daniel.”
“Deliberately upset Daniel?” Jessica winced as if she’d been smacked. “I didn’t wear this to upset you or Daniel.” She pointed to her clothes. “I wore this because the sweat was pouring off me while I was breaking my back weeding your stupid garden!”
Jessica’s voice quavered as she continued. “I thought maybe, just maybe, if I did the weeding then Daniel would actually talk to me during our rides to and from the furniture store.” She paused to take a deep breath, fighting threatening tears. “But no, it didn’t work. Daniel ignored the fact that I spent all morning weeding and shouted because I was wearing a bikini top and shorts. He only focused on the fact that I wasn’t wearing a dress that would probably make an Eskimo sweat in Antarctica!”
With a sympathetic expression, Rebecca reached for her again. “Jessica—”
“Save it.” Jessica held her hands up. “I’ll be in my room and away from the eyes of the community, so I won’t embarrass you and Daniel any more today.”
She started up the stairs and then stopped and faced Rebecca again. “Oh, and I’m sorry for working on Sundays. It seems I can’t even get the days right when I try to do something nice.”
Turning, Jessica stomped up the stairs. When she reached her room, she flopped onto the bed and sobbed into her pillow.
For what felt like the millionth time, she asked God why her parents had to die and why she and Lindsay had to come to this awful house.
“Where are you, God?” she whispered. “Have You forgotten me?”
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Swiping away a tear, Rebecca watched Jessica stomp up the stairs. Her niece’s words echoed in her mind. Poor Jessica had been trying to do something good. She wanted to finish the weeding so Daniel would realize she was truly trying to be helpful. However, the good intentions had blown up in her face. Now her niec
e’s heart was broken, and Rebecca’s heart was shredded.
Daniel’s reaction had rattled Rebecca. Up until today, she hadn’t seen him lose his temper about the girls. Now he was furious, and she wondered how she was going to make Daniel see that Jessica only wanted to impress him. All Daniel would see was an inappropriately dressed girl doing work on Sunday. To make matters worse, she had embarrassed him in front of his brother Robert yet again. Daniel would never believe that Jessica was trying to gain his approval.
How could she make him see the whole picture without getting him angrier than he already was? But if she didn’t try to make Daniel see the truth, he would never know how hard Jessica was trying. It seemed Rebecca would never win in this situation. No matter what she did, she was bound to hurt someone she loved.
Had God heard her prayers? Was He listening?
Sighing, Rebecca wiped another tear and cleared her throat. She had to pull herself together before she went outside to greet her visitors.
“I guess that didn’t go well, huh?” Lindsay asked, sidling up to Rebecca.
“No, not at all.” Rebecca folded her arms across her chest. “She said she was trying to help. She thought that by doing the weeding she could win Daniel over.”
“She picked the wrong day to do it, though. And that outfit was just about the worst possible.” Lindsay shook her head and frowned. “I wish we had gotten home before Robert pulled up. I could’ve gotten her inside and avoided everyone seeing her.”
“Ya,” Rebecca said, studying her niece.
Rebecca had been so proud to have Lindsay with her today. Lindsay looked like she belonged, sitting with Katie and the other young women their age during the service. The community had embraced her during the service. Rebecca was still astounded by Lindsay’s interest in the Faith and her desire to be a part of it. Unfortunately, she had no idea how to reach Jessica.
“Do you want me to check on her?” Lindsay asked, nodding toward the stairs.
“I don’t know.” Rebecca shook her head. “I think she may need to be alone.”
Lindsay bit her bottom lip as if contemplating the situation.
“We’ll check on her later,” Rebecca said, looping her arm around Lindsay’s shoulders. “I promise. Right now we need to be with our guests and act like nothing happened.”
“Ya.” Her niece nodded with emphasis. “Nothing happened. Got it.”
Plastering a smile on her face despite her inner turmoil, Rebecca took Lindsay’s hand and led her back out to the yard, where Daniel stood talking with Robert and Sadie.
The children were gathered around the fence by the horses. Katie met Lindsay’s gaze and gestured for her to approach. Lindsay trotted over, joining the group at the fence.
“Is everything all right?” Sadie asked Rebecca.
“Ya,” Rebecca said with a forced smile. “Everything is fine.” Needing to change the subject quickly, she waved toward the door. “How about you go sit on the front porch and enjoy this beautiful day the Lord has given us? I’ll get us some iced tea.”
The men nodded and then made small talk about the weather and work.
“Iced tea sounds nice.” Sadie stepped toward her. “Can I help you?”
“Nee. I can manage.” Rebecca patted her sister-in-law’s arm, hoping to deter her from coming to the kitchen.
Rebecca met Daniel’s glance, and he scowled, causing her heart to sink. She knew she would endure another earful about Jessica this evening. Rebecca shook her head. They didn’t need to air any more of their family troubles in front of his brother. She’d deal with her husband after the company was gone.
The men headed for the front of the house, and Rebecca started for the back door.
“Wait for me.” Sadie rushed to catch up with her.
Rebecca squelched the urge to groan with irritation. The last thing Rebecca needed was her nosy, outspoken sister-in-law making conversation in the kitchen. “I’m fine, Sadie. Danki.”
“Don’t be silly.” Sadie swatted her arm. “I’m happy to help.”
Rebecca forced a smile. Ya, and get more gossip about my niece to spread at your quilting bee.
They stepped into the kitchen, and Rebecca pulled the container of freshly brewed iced tea from the refrigerator.
“Is Jessica doing okay?” Sadie asked, her voice overly timid as if she were trying to appear genuine.
“Jessica will be just fine.” Rebecca snatched four glasses from the cabinet and placed them on a tray.
“Are you sure?” Her sister-in-law’s expression was grim. “Robert says she needs guidance.”
Rebecca felt her back stiffen in response to the criticism. “I would say she needs understanding more than anything right now, considering what she’s been through with losing her parents and moving to an unfamiliar community.”
Sadie placed a hand on Rebecca’s sleeve. “She needs to learn respect for our ways. She forced her rock music and a computer on my sweet Katie.”
Taking a deep breath to settle her frayed nerves, Rebecca paused before she spoke. “I don’t think Jessica forced anything on Katie. I think they were just two girls getting to know each other. It was innocent.”
Sadie shook her head, clicking her tongue. “I don’t think so, Becky.”
Rebecca bit her lip at the pet name that she only permitted Daniel to call her. Sadie was being condescending, and it made her angry. “Sadie, as I said, you must remember that the girls just lost their parents. They’re trying to find their way in this world, and it’s our calling to give them love and support.”
“Oh, of course. But we also need to remind them that they’re living in our community, ya?” Sadie’s expression softened. “I see Lindsay is finding her way quite well. Perhaps her older sister should follow her lead.”
“I think Jessica should go at her own pace.” Rebecca placed the pitcher on the tray.
“I don’t know.” Her sister-in-law shook her head. “I think her pace is misled.”
“We need to give the girls love and understanding. It’s the Christian thing to do, ya?” Rebecca heaved the tray and started for the front door.
Sadie followed at her heels. “Well, her behavior has not been so Christian. I can’t say she was dressed like a good Christian earlier, and according to Robert she gave my Samuel a seductive look the last time we were here.”
Shocked by the words, Rebecca stopped dead in her tracks, and the tray teetered in her hands. “What did you say about the last time you were here?”
“She gave my Samuel a suggestive look at the front door on their way out.”
“Who said that?”
“Robert.” Sadie gestured toward the front door. “They were leaving, and she turned and walked into Samuel. Then she gave him the eye.” She dramatically pointed to her eye and winked.
“The eye? I’m not sure what you mean.” Rebecca shook her head in disbelief.
“She looked at him like she wanted to … you know!” Sadie gave a frustrated sigh. “She wanted to tempt him.”
Rebecca silently counted to ten, hoping to curb her boiling fury. “Sadie, Jessica is a child. She’s not going to try to seduce any young men. She’s just a confused teenager who wants to fit in. I would appreciate it if these judgments about her were kept to yourself.”
Sadie folded her arms across her apron. “I think you’re naïve when it comes to your niece.”
Rebecca’s eyes narrowed in response. She willed herself to keep her temper in check. “Remember what Elizabeth always says, ‘Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.’ Perhaps we should take that advice and keep my nieces in our prayers.”
Her sister-in-law’s brows knitted, her hazel eyes gleaming with irritation. “Ya. Perhaps we should.”
Rebecca continued through the door, where she found the men sitting side by side and discussing the rising cost of lumber. She placed the tray on the ledge in front of the men and sank into the porch swing.
Rebecca’s thoughts wand
ered while the men and Sadie chatted about idle things. Her mind kept replaying her conversations with Daniel and then with Jessica. She pondered how she was going to keep her husband happy and also get through to Jessica. How could she balance her role as wife with her role as guardian to two English girls?
Elizabeth had repeatedly told her to listen, pray, and have faith. She’d done so over and over in her mind, but none seemed to be leading her down the right path. No matter how hard she tried, she still found both Daniel and Jessica disappointed and angry with her. She needed to find the solution before she lost them both forever.
Closing her eyes, she prayed from the bottom of her heart:
Lord, tell me what to do. Please Lord, give me the knowledge I need to be a gut wife and guardian.
Much to Rebecca’s dismay, Robert’s family stayed and visited through supper and into the early evening.
Lindsay spent her time with Katie and her younger sister Nancy. It warmed Rebecca’s heart to see the girls talk and laugh. However, she spotted Sadie and Daniel frequently watching Lindsay with an accusing eye. Rebecca yearned to tell them to give Lindsay the benefit of the doubt, but she knew it was no use. They’d both deny being suspicious of the girl even though it was written all over their faces.
Jessica spent the evening in her room and didn’t even come down when Rebecca called her to supper. Rebecca had longed for the company to leave early, so she could talk with Jessica and try to get her to understand that she loved her and wanted the best for her.
When the guests finally left for the evening, Rebecca hurried up to Jessica’s room and was heartbroken to find her asleep, sprawled across her bed clad in a pair of plaid boxer shorts and a short-sleeved T-shirt. Her phone was lying next to her one side and her iPod and ear buds were on the other.