by Anthology
“Hey,” he said with a low rumble to his voice. My heart sped up and anger bubbled to the surface. I narrowed my eyes at him as he raked his hands through his hair.
“Lil,”
“No. Don’t. You embarrassed the hell out of me, Jason. Crabs? Seriously? Why would you say that?”
My voice was high pitched and squeaky, but I didn’t care. He had no right to do what he did and I was going to let my wrath out on him.
“That guy was all over you, Lilly. The other guy was practically begging for a fight with Corey.”
“Why is that any of your concern? We were just paying volleyball. It was fun. I kept hitting the ball out of bounds and Pierre was just showing me how to do it better.”
“Doing it was exactly what he was thinking about.”
I walked closer to him so suddenly, he didn’t expect it and practically pounced backward in defense.
“Why does that matter, Jason? This is a vacation. We are supposed to be having fun and enjoying ourselves. You made an ass out of me in front of that guy. What is your problem?”
“So you’d go off and randomly fuck some guy you just met on the beach?” He seethed and he stepped closer to me as if it would give him an advantage. Oh, I was going to push right back.
“No one said anything about fucking anyone, and even if I were going to, it’s none of your business.”
We were standing so close now that I could feel the heat of his breath on my face. I was still in my bathing suit and jean shorts, and the warmth of his body felt like it was absorbing into my skin.
“I didn’t like seeing some random douchebag’s hands all over you. I promised your parents that I would look out for you while we’re here.”
“So what? You promised to look after me. Nowhere during that process was it negotiated for you to tell people I have crabs. Why Jason? Just tell me that, will ya?”
He turned to face away from me, both hands now running through his hair.
“Turn around and look at me. Tell me why you felt the need to embarrass me like that.”
Slowly, he turned, shoulders slumping slightly but I could still see the tension in him by the way his hands were fisted at his sides.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know? Come on, Jason. There was a reason for it. Just tell me!”
My anger was growing by the second, overtaking and consuming the embarrassment. I was going to prod him until he gave me an honest answer.
“Jason?” I demanded, stomping my foot like a pissed off child.
“I didn’t like it, okay!” His voice bellowed, filling the small bedroom.
“You didn’t like what?”
He sighed before he lifted his face and finally looked me in the eyes. His expression held hints of anger, pain, and something else I couldn’t quite describe.
“I didn’t like that sleaze ball’s hands all over you, Lil.”
“We were just—”
“Don’t give me that shit. He was all over you and you liked it. You were laughing and smiling.”
I was confused by his words and I shook my head, my brows scrunching together.
“You act like you were jealous or something, Jase. It was harmless flirting. It wasn’t like I was going to go off and fuck him or anything.”
“Maybe I was,” he said in a whispered tone.
“What?” I replied, equally quiet in tone and not quite believing I heard what he said. Jason walked up to me and with a gentle hand, cupped my chin so that I was forced to look directly at him.
“I was jealous. Damn it, Lilly. I was fucking jealous as hell.”
“Wh…what? Why?”
His thumb caressed the side of my cheek. He had done it a million times before, but somehow, this felt different. Intimate. Sexy. My skin tingled with each stroke and the hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention. I was suddenly aware of how little I was wearing and as heat flooded my body, goosebumps formed on my skin as if there were a chill in the air. I’ve had reactions to Jason’s touch before, but this? This was unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. He was my best friend. My body wasn’t supposed to be responding to him like it was.
“Do you ever think about us?”
I was stunned by his question and noticed how he had stopped caressing my cheek as he anticipated my answer.
“I think about us all the time, Jase. You’re my best friend.”
“No. Not like that. Do you…have you ever imagined what it would be like if we were to…”
The breath left my body. Of course I’d thought about it. A lot actually. More so recently than ever before.
“Have you?” I asked tilting my head so that my face rested in his palm. His other hand came to rest on my hip right where the waist of my jean shorts and skin met. Leaning in, he rested his for forehead on mine and I could smell the sweet cinnamon fragrance of his breath.
“It seems to be the only thing I can think about lately. I didn’t like that guy touching you tonight because I wanted it to be me, Lilly. I have had thoughts about us that no best friend should have. They have been beyond innocent. God…I don’t want to ruin our relationship but I just have to…”
And then his lips touched mine. It wasn’t hurried or frantic, but instead slow, sensual, as if he wasn’t quite sure what my reaction would be. His soft lips tasted mine, his tongue flicking out to trace the seam of mine and without hesitation, I opened for him. My head was swimming with so many confusing thoughts. I was kissing my best friend. The one person who meant more to me than anything in the world.
I stood on my toes to try and get closer to him as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and threaded my fingers through his hair. His arms snaked around my waist, his warm fingers splayed across my back and we melted into each other. My body buzzed with excitement at the same time my brain was telling me this was a bad idea. This one sexy, hot kiss would forever change the dynamic of our relationship, but the feeling never felt so right. We deepened the kiss, hands and lips moving more frantically as if we were both starving and the only nourishment we would have to survive, would be this kiss.
I wasn’t aware of the fact that we were walking backwards. I barely registered the backs of my knees hitting the bed and Jason’s weight on top of me. The heat of his body surged into mine and the hot kisses he placed on my neck caused me to squirm beneath him.
“Jason…” I breathed, my back arching off the bed and my breasts pressed against his chest. He grumbled something unintelligible against my skin and then he froze. For several seconds, we laid there not moving, only our frantic breaths and heaving chests moving in synchronized rhythm.
“Jason?” I finally spoke. My voice barely above a whisper.
“I’m sorry, Lilly. God, I’m so fucking sorry. I can’t do this. Not with you.”
He then pushed away from me and stormed out of my room before I even had a chance to respond.
***
Jason
I DIDN’T SLEEP A WINK, instead tossed and turned in my bed not able to get comfortable. Every time my body would finally still, I would remember how Lilly’s mouth felt against mine and how fucking amazing it was to feel her beneath me. I was scum. A fucking low life who made out with his best friend and still had the massive erection from the result. How could I lose control like that? How could I let my carnal instincts take over and cross the line of our friendship?
But God, did it feel good. It was one of the most amazing experiences in my life. I’ve kissed other women before. I’ve had sex with a bunch of girls I’ve dated over the years, but not at one time did any of them make my body feel so alive like it did with just a kiss from Lilly.
So I spent the remainder of the night staring at the ceiling wondering what daylight was going to bring. Would she hate me for putting the moves on her? Would our friendship ever be the same? But more importantly, how would I recover from that feeling that I had from that one single moment? How could I go from one taste of perfection to not ever being able
to have that experience ever again?
Daylight flooded through the windows and I was hiding in my bedroom like the fucking coward I was, not wanting to have to face Lilly. I kept staring at the email on my phone that my new boss had sent yesterday about how they couldn’t wait for me to join the team in Denver. As excited as I was about the opportunity, the thought of not getting to see Lilly every day, and now there was the kiss that I had to deal with, I couldn’t very well leave our relationship like it was. I knew we needed to talk, but what was I going to say? Somehow, I didn’t think that “I know we are best friends, but I want to bury myself inside of you and never let go” would go over so well.
“You gonna stay in bed all day, asshole, or are you going to get up so we can go parasailing?” Corey said as he barged into my room and broke me out of my thoughts.
“Huh? Yeah. I just need a minute. I didn’t sleep that well last night.”
“Well, get your ass up. The girls are ready to go.”
“I kissed Lilly last night.”
I blurted it out. I knew it was against some bro code to talk about my feelings, but damn it was eating me up inside.
“Well, it’s about time.”
I looked up at him as he stood at the end of my bed with his arms across his chest.
“That’s not exactly what I need to hear, Corey.”
“What do you want me to say? Krista and I have watched the two of you dance around each other for years. It was only a matter of time before one of you finally broke and admitted your feelings.”
“I didn’t say I admitted anything. I just said I kissed her.”
“Well, that in itself speaks louder than words, dude. So what happens now?”
“I have no fucking clue. I don’t want things to be weird between us.”
“Why do you think they would be weird?”
I blew out a frustrated breath.
“You mean other than the fact that I kissed my best friend last night? Or the fact that I walked out on her when things started to get intense?”
“Ouch,” he hissed.
“Yeah.”
Corey walked over to the edge of the bed and sat down next to me, cupping my shoulder.
“I know it’s scary. I know how you feel about her, man. Seeing those douche canoes hanging all over them yesterday did something to me too. I wanted to rip that guy’s face off for touching Krista. But it also made me think that if I didn’t show her how I really felt, then someone else will, and I don’t want that. Don’t let your pride or any insecurities come between you and the greatest thing you could ever have in your life. That’s why I’m proposing to Krista tonight. I don’t want to wait anymore, because the longer I do, the more opportunity it gives some other asshole to realize how incredibly great she is.”
“What if she doesn’t want the same thing?”
“What if she does?” Then he got up and walked out leaving me to think about everything he just said. Admitting my feelings to Lilly was a huge risk. Not only was our relationship at stake, but also my heart if she didn’t reciprocate. Then there was the fact that we would be living across the country from each other.
What the fuck was I going to do?
Chapter Six
Lilly
WE WALKED DOWN the boardwalk towards the rental and watersports place where we were to go parasailing. Jason and Corey walked ahead of us while Krista and I followed.
“Care to tell me why you keep giving Jason the glare of death?”
“I do not.”
“Lil, there are practically laser beams of hate coming from your eyes. I’m just waiting for Jason to go up in flames at any moment.”
I sighed. I guess I have been giving Jason death stares all morning. I couldn’t even look at him when he finally came out of his room this morning. He didn’t say a word to me and as far as I know, he didn’t even look at me. Soon after, I retreated to my room so that I could try and relieve the awkward tension that was between us just being in the same room.
“We kissed last night.”
“What!?” Krista exclaimed and caused both of the boys to turn around, looking over their shoulders at us. It was then that my eyes collided with Jason’s for the first time since the kiss. What I was expecting to see I had no clue, but the look of torment and pain in his eyes wasn’t it. We stared at each other for what seemed like forever, as if suspended in time before he turned back around.
“What happened?” Krista asked leaning in to whisper as we continued to walk.
“I’m not sure. It kind of just happened. One minute we were arguing about what happened on the beach and the next minute he kissed me. He asked me if I ever thought about us.”
“So how was it?” She asked smiling at me and wagging her brows.
“Honestly? It was the best kiss I’ve ever had. But it was ruined when he told me and I quote ‘I can’t do this. Not with you’ and then got up and left.”
“Wait. Got up?”
“We were lying down on the bed.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah.”
“Why do you think he reacted like that?” She questioned.
I shrugged, acting as nonchalantly as I could even though I felt like dying inside.
“Maybe he realized it was a mistake and decide to stop before things got worse.”
“I highly doubt it, Lil. That boy has loved you for as long as I can remember. Even when he didn’t realize it.”
“And you think he realizes it now?” I asked shielding my eyes from the sun that was bright even through my sunglasses.
“Without a doubt.”
We continued to walk to the parasailing place in silence after that. Many different thoughts were swimming in my mind the whole way. I was thankful for the distraction when we arrived as the boat operator and instructor went over the harness and safety procedures with us before we set out into the water.
The instructor helped me into the harness that would attach me to the rope and then onto the boat. He wasn’t far from our age and rather good-looking. His hair was just long enough to cover his ears, giving him that sexy skateboarder look. He sported a dark tan from the many hours I’m sure he spent in the sun, and one of the cutest smiles I’ve seen. Currently he was behind me, arms wrapped around me and I could feel the outline of muscles on his chest.
“Is that too tight?” He asked, looking at me with his gorgeous grin. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Jason was scowling, and deep down I got satisfaction out of the fact he didn’t like it. Served him right for how he left things last night.
“Hey man, do I have this on right?” Jason asked and skateboarder dude, who I found out was Scott, looked at Jason to inspect his harness.
“Looks good to me, man.”
“Think you could come make sure? I don’t want to be falling out of this thing when we’re several hundred feet in the air.”
“Yeah, sure.” He then turned to me. “You’re all set, sweetheart,” and he gave me a wink.
“Jealous much?” Krista asked as she approached me and nudged me in the shoulder.
“I still don’t understand why I have to go up with Jason. Couldn’t you have gone with me instead?”
I gave her a puppy dog face, sticking my bottom lip out for effect.
“I would, but Corey said he wanted to go with me. In fact he insisted. Said something about wanting to get me alone,” she said wagging her brows.
“Kris, you can’t have sex parasailing.”
“We’ll see.”
“Okay, you two ready?” Scott interrupted and asked.
I only nodded and he gestured for both Jason and I to climb into the boat. We sat on opposite sides of each other as we glided across the water out into the ocean. I closed my eyes and let the salty mist of ocean spray across my face, trying to gather the courage to be alone with Jason. Alone and not able to escape.
The boat slowed as we reached open water just off shore and Scott cut the engine and helped us get connected to th
e rope and lowered into the water. Jason and I were hooked together, his front to my back as we floated in the warm Atlantic water. Within a few minutes, the boat sped off and we were airborne.
“Oh, my God this is amazing!” I exclaimed the higher we climbed. I could see other boats out in the ocean as well as people on the beach that were starting to look like tiny colored ants in a colony.
“Are you ever going to speak to me today?”
I froze. Of course he would wait until we got all the way up in the air to talk, completely killing my adrenaline rush and excitement.
“What do you want me to say, Jase?”
“I don’t know, but I can’t take the silent treatment anymore.” He huffed out a frustrated breath.
“I’m not ignoring you. I just don’t have anything to say.”
“Well, I do.”
“Do we really have to do this here?” I asked turning my head to the side so that I could see him behind me in my peripheral vision.
“If it’s the only way I can have you alone and make you talk to me then yes.”
I groaned and turned my head back around.
“Okay. Let’s talk. You kissed me last night. Then when things progressed you stated you couldn’t do it and left me without another word. Was I that horrible?”
“What? No that’s not it,” he exclaimed, surprise evident in his voice.
I reached up to push the hair out of my face at the same time that Jason reached for my hands and wrapped his arms around me holding them in front of my chest.
“Things are different with you, Lil. You aren’t my type.”
The air in my lungs couldn’t have expelled faster if she had sucker punched me in the stomach.
“Gee, well thanks.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“Then tell me what it is you mean, Jason. We’ve been best friends for the better part of fifteen years. We’ve never hidden anything from each other, yet I feel like you are keeping things from me now.”
I felt his forehead rest on my shoulder and even through the wind, his hot breath upon my back.