by Anthology
I know most people today look down on authors, “anyone can write a book” they say, “it’s so easy” they say. I would love to see half of those people actually write something that doesn’t suck ass. Just because you can tell a story doesn’t mean you can write a damn book. Pulling emotions out of people and making them care for fictional characters is far from easy. I am so emotionally exhausted from the last few days of writing that I can barely function. I love it though, besides Cam, it’s the only thing I have ever been passionate about.
I wish Cam would be here for my release day. I always get so stressed and anxiety ridden, I barely eat and my finger hurts by the end of the day from pressing the refresh button to check my ranking. My dream is to hit the lists, USA Today and New York Times. I got into the top one hundred in my Amazon rank and it felt amazing. My sequel has been so anticipated that I am crossing my fingers it does well. Cam promised me that when he gets home we are going to go out to celebrate.
My eyes drift to the scratch pad that I have been trying to transform into a suitable menu. The gods of the universe are really having a good laugh at my expense. I have gone on a cooking strike with Cam and last night I made him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It would have been the perfect dig, if the bastard hadn’t loved it and said it was just what he wanted. I was tempted to smash it in his face at that point.
I kind of wish the dinner wasn’t the night before deployment I want to spend that night with him, alone. I hear the front door open and save the changes I’ve made so far. I’m almost through the edits and should finish them by tomorrow. I walk into the living room and see Cam, he has a huge bouquet of calla lilies in his hand, they have always been my favorite. I smile so big that it hurts a little bit, before running into his arms.
“I should do this every day if this is the reaction I get.” His arms wrap around me and I kiss him on the lips. “Go get dressed, beautiful.”
I pull back to look at him. “Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.” He places a kiss on my lips before letting me go and smacking my butt. “Now get going.”
I head upstairs but halfway up I realize I have no idea what to wear. “Casual or dressy?” I yell down to him.
“Whatever you want!”
Men think that they help you out and make things easier with answers like these, they don’t. I grab a nice pair of jeans, a scoop neck cashmere sweater and a pair of my favorite black high heeled boots. When I look in the mirror I’m thinking either way I’ll be safe since this is the perfect mix of casual and dressy. When I come down Cam is on the phone.
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow, brother. I’m sure it will all work out, you know we have this.” He hangs up and then looks at me. “See, you didn’t need any help from me.” He grabs my hand and kisses it before we walk out to the car.
The entire ride I am trying to figure out where we are going, looking for signs or familiar land marks, anything to give me some clue to our destination. We pull into a parking lot and I see the name Il Verdi. My mouth drops open as I look over at Cam, I have always wanted to come here but it is so expensive. “Cam, this is amazing.”
“I knew you always wanted to come here,” he says as he gets out of the car. He walks around, opens my door, and we walk toward the restaurant. Once we get inside he gives the hostess his name and she takes us right back to our table.
Once we sit down I can’t contain my excitement. “I can’t wait to have dinner. What made you decide to come here tonight?”
“I wanted to celebrate.” He smiles at me.
“Celebrate what? You going away? I’m glad we came here and everything but that is so not something that I want to celebrate, or something that I’ll be happy about.” Is he serious? I dread thinking of him leaving on Friday I definitely don’t want to celebrate it.
“No, we are celebrating you.” He laughs at my still confused expression. “I won’t be here when you release or probably when the lists come out, so I wanted to celebrate my amazingly talented wife becoming a best seller.”
My eyes tear up just listening to how much he believes in me. “Cam, I doubt I’ll even make it.”
“Well, I don’t. I know you have your doubts, babe, but you are so talented. People loved the first book you wrote and I know that this one is going to be a huge hit.”
“How do you know people liked it?”
“Because I check your reviews almost as much as you do. It makes me so damn proud to see how much people love your book, and that they realize how talented you are. It’s about time the rest of the world noticed.”
A tear falls from my eye and rolls down his cheek. “I love you more than anything in the world, Cameron Wilson. It was as much of a surprise to me as it was to everyone else when you asked me out, but I thank God that you did every single day.” He leans over and gives me a kiss, pulling away as the waiter walks up to the table.
Dinner is absolutely amazing, the food is delicious, and I love being able to spend time with Cam before he leaves. On the drive home I am trying to stop myself from falling into a food coma, but eventually I lose that fight and drift off. I feel myself moving and open my eyes to see Cam carrying me into the house, this is where I want to be forever. Tucked into his arms, feeling like no one or nothing could ever touch me. Cam heads upstairs and into the bedroom, gently laying me down.
“I’ll be back in a minute, baby, get undressed.”
He kisses my head before leaving the room. A few minutes pass and I feel the bed dip beside me. “Turn over onto your stomach.” I do as he asks and once I’m lying flat Cam situates himself on top of my legs. I feel a warm liquid seep onto my back. Cam’s hands run through it and he slowly begins to rub his hands up and down my back. I groan as he massages the muscles that have become so achy from sitting in my chair writing for the past three days. His hands slowly move down to my butt and he gently rubs it making muscles I didn’t know I had fill with pleasure.
Cam starts to grind against me and now my groans aren’t just because of his hands. “I want you every minute, of every day, anywhere I can have you.” His legs push mine apart and when he sinks down into me, I grip the sheets trying to keep myself grounded. His hands continue to glide up and down my body as he slowly moves in and out of me. I start to push back against him causing each thrust to be harder, deeper, and making both of us moan even louder.
Cam starts to move faster, slamming into me with such force that I brace my hands against the headboard to keep from going through it. Both of us are covered in sweat, and it is so damn hot. I lift up on my knees changing the angle and allowing Cam to drive even further into me. His hand snakes around my chest and slowly begins to massage my breast. When he pinches my nipple rolling it back and forth between his fingers, I scream, coming undone.
Cam’s hands move down to my hips using them to drive into me a few more times before finding his own release and growling my name.
It is going to be a long, lonely time without him.
Chapter Eight
“AHHHHHHHHH!” I SCREAM as the batter flies out of the damn mixer and all over my face. I’m so fucking done. Pulling out my phone, I dial the number for the fancy ass French restaurant downtown.
“Ma Cherie, how can I help you?”
“Hi, I need dinner for ten people tonight, appetizers, entrees, and desserts.” I’m hoping the desperation in my voice doesn’t seem too apparent.
“Ok, ma’am, what dishes would you like?”
“I have no clue. But I need it all delivered at 6:30pm on the dot, and I need a list of what you are bringing.”
She takes my information and when I hang up the phone, I take a depressing look around my kitchen. There is food everywhere and it is going to take me the rest of day just to make it look like a volcano didn’t explode in here. I tried for about two hours to follow the dictionary length directions for the menu I had found but it was to no avail. I was in so far over my head and I needed help. I was not going to be the only wi
fe in this little group that proved she couldn’t cook, desperate times call for desperate measures.
My phone buzzes and I see that it’s a text from Cam.
Hope the cooking is going good, don’t worry I’m sure it will be great.
It will definitely be great, especially because I’m not cooking it. I always hear about these groups of Army wives that have barbecues and are laid back, why couldn’t I land in one of those groups? Pasta salad and burgers is something I could definitely handle. The problem is that these girls are filet mignon while I’m a Big Mac. I scrub every inch of the kitchen, finding batter in places that I didn’t even know was possible. I also place a call to the beer distributor for an urgent delivery order. Then I make my way through the rest of the house, decluttering, dusting, sweeping, and mopping every inch of it. If Cam ever signs me up for this dinner shit again I swear to God that I will castrate him.
When I look over at the clock it’s almost five. I mutter numerous curse words as I head upstairs and shower. Trying to decide what to wear tonight almost drove me crazy but as I’m tearing through my closet I realize I shouldn’t care. I grab a pair of gray pants, a black button up shirt and a sweater. Just as I’m slipping on my boots the doorbell rings and I rush downstairs. The guy from the restaurant starts to bring in the paper bags and I begin grabbing the serving dishes, I have to make it look convincing, after all. The total bill almost gives me a mini heart attack, but when he hands me the menu I requested it all seems like it will be worth it.
I move everything out of the aluminum containers, hating to mess up the pretty presentation but knowing that I can’t serve them in there. After everything is out I set out plates, utensils, and napkins. I let out a huge sigh of relief that I actually got it done. The door opens and closes and Cam walks into the kitchen and I swear his eyes bug out of his head at the food in front of him. The rest of the group follows him into the kitchen and I’m met with numerous ooh’s and aah’s.
“Hey, everyone! Please help yourselves. I have crudité vegetables with remoulade sauce; roasted turkey with black-truffle butter and cognac gravy; mushroom, leek, and brioche stuffing; and, for dessert salted chocolate caramel tart.” As I watch all of their faces drop, I’m internally jumping up and down with my fist in the air. So what if the food was ordered and the delivery guy had to tell me how to pronounce it, they don’t know any of that. The guys look much less impressed than the girls and it makes me wonder why they don’t just say they want something more simple and, at least for me, recognizable.
I let everyone else get their food first and Cam leans down close to my ear. “Where did you get all of this from? Don’t even say you made it because we both know you don’t even know what half of this stuff is.”
I knew that I would never fool him but it was nice seeing his reaction. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about where it came from, just enjoy.”
He laughs at me before going to join the guys. While the food is good, it is so not my style. If I could have ordered a bunch of pizzas, I would have been just as happy as I was with all of this “high-class” food. I’m getting tons of compliments from the military mafia, so at least that part of the evening worked out. Seeing everyone around the same table and joining together before the guys deploy is bittersweet. It’s nice to have everyone together, but knowing that tomorrow the boys are leaving has put a dark cloud over us all.
Chrissy comes up to me and I brace myself for judgment. “Shay! The food was absolutely delicious. I have to say I was skeptical when Steven said that you would be doing dinner.” Yea, you and me both. “You did a great job though the girls and I all agree that we should do this more often.”
Hell no. “Thanks, Chrissy, I think I will just leave it to you girls in the future though.” She nods almost like she expected that answer and then rejoins the group.
As much as I know I should lean on the other girls when Cam is gone, I usually don’t. I prefer to turn into a recluse, but at least with my book releasing I’ll be able to stay somewhat distracted.
Jacob barely took any food and hasn’t said a word to me. There is really something different this time. He is usually Oscar the Grouch, but never to this extent. He is barely even talking to the guys, I would love to ask him about it but that didn’t get me too far last time so I’m just gonna keep my mouth shut.
Everyone starts to say their goodbyes, it’s nothing over emotional. That comes tomorrow.
Chapter Nine
CAM HELPS ME CLEAN up but neither of us really says anything. I’m sure he is dreading tomorrow just as much as I am. He has been packing all week long and it’s been driving me absolutely crazy. Every day something else gets put into his bag, a part of me wants to jump in it and stow away. I know, in all reality, that I don’t want to be where he is going but I also don’t want to be without him.
As I’m standing at the sink washing the last of the dishes, Cam comes up behind me. His hands snake around my waist and he rests his chin on my shoulder. “Tonight was nice, baby.”
“Yea, I think the girls liked it.” I turn staying in his arms, and wrap my arms around his middle.
“The guys did too, although they had no idea what most of it was.”
“Why don’t you guys just start saying you want something simpler?”
He places a kiss on my lips. “We have talked about it before but the consensus is that if it makes the girls feel good to do something fancy for us before we leave them, then we will do whatever they want to make it easier. Well of course, that goes for the wives who like fancy, next time feel free to do something easy.”
“Next time?” I pull back to look at him. “If you ever think about nominating me for that shit again I will go Lorena Bobbit on your ass.”
He laughs against my neck. “I’m gonna miss you, gorgeous.” His voice sounds so serious with a hint of sadness.
I want to tell him not to go then, but I know that isn’t an option. I know that this is what he loves to do, the thing he loves to be a part of. If I tried to ask him to give that up it would be selfish. It’s what I want, but it’s self-serving. “Me too.” That’s all I can bring myself to say.
Cam’s phone rings and he walks into the living room to get it. I finish cleaning up hoping that once he gets off the phone we can shut out the world. I finished the book and now all I need to do it hit publish. Which is probably the scariest part of the process. It’s like having a baby then handing pieces of it away to strangers.
I walk into the living room to find Cam and he is sitting on the couch. He seems so exhausted and I know that this week has been rough on him. Between the extra hours and the looming deployment. “Hey, why don’t we go take a nice relaxing bath?”
His eyes meet mine as he smiles at me. “That sounds great, baby.”
I grab his hand, leading him upstairs to the bathroom. I told Cam whenever we got a house one of my requirements was a tub built for two. I turn on the hot water and get some bath salts. As much as Cam says they are girly he loves them. Two strong arms envelope me from behind.
“I love you so much.”
I relax into him. The two of us just standing there not daring to move. My hand reaches behind his head gently threading through his hair, and he places a kiss on my neck. I turn to face him, “Let’s get in.”
We both get undressed and sink into the water. I move in front of Cam and lay back against him enjoying the feel of his skin against mine. My hands run up and down his legs, gently rubbing out the tension. I turn to face him, my hand moving to his shoulders and working out all of the kinks in them too.
When his eyes open he does nothing more than look at me. “When I’m away, this is the moment I’m going to think of. Being here with you no bullshit, no boundaries, just the two of us. I am going to miss you with every damn inch of me, Shay. I know that you’ll be okay though, as much as you think you can’t handle it.”
His hand threads through my hair, pulling my mouth to his. When our lips touch it star
ts a fire in both of us. Before long we are gripping each other like we are holding on for dear life.
I pull away from him resting my forehead on his. “I don’t want you to worry about me.”
“Baby, that’s like telling me not to breathe. You’re my entire life. There isn’t a moment on this earth that I’m not thinking about you.”
I sigh. “I’ll be okay. You just need to worry about coming home to me.”
“There isn’t anything that could keep me from coming back to you.”
We sit there with each other for a while, the water has turned cold, but we aren’t ready to move. It’s like if I get up, if I break this connection, then he will be gone and I can’t bear that. Cam grabs one of my hands that is wrapped around his neck, and kisses the top of it. “I don’t want to move either, babe, but I need to leave tomorrow.” My shoulders sag at him reminding me of this. “If I’m going to get up in time, then I need to start now.” His hands grab my butt and he slowly stands up taking me with him.
“Start what?” I ask as he is stepping out of the tub.
“I am going to make love to you in so many different ways tonight that it will hold you over until I get home.” Well, who could argue with that? Cam walks into the bedroom and sets me down onto the bed. I used to get self-conscious when he would examine my body, but now it just excites me, my whole body comes alive and is tuned into him.
My hands grasp his biceps and I lift myself up to place a kiss on his lips. He deepens it, pushing me back into this mattress.