But enough of that defeatist thinking. Sleep deprivation always made me a little loco.
The GPS directed me to leave the interstate, and a few minutes later, I was at the café. I could practically smell the caffeine—the rich roast beans, the steamed milk—just the thought gave me a little boost as I parked and stepped out of the car.
But another scent grabbed my attention as soon as I stepped out of the car—honeysuckle and strawberries—a scent that niggled at my subconscious for only a moment before I was able to name it.
“Hey, Marcus! You clean up…” Miles’s voice trailed off.
I stared in disbelief. We could have been a million miles away and a hundred years could have passed, but I still would have recognized Miles. That honeysuckle and strawberries scent made me feel like I'd finally come home. But at the same time, I couldn't look at him without remembering the worst time of my life. I could never make it up to him.
It finally dawned on me that he'd called me by another name, by my brother's middle name. Marcus. I felt an irrational surge of jealousy. Were he and Zeke--but no. Neither Miles nor Zeke were interested in other omegas. Unless things had changed. I liked to think I knew my former lover and brother better than that, but... I wasn't the pretentious asshole I'd been when I was younger. But I dismissed my concern as unlikely. It was odd that Miles would call me by Zeke's middle name, but I couldn't get my thoughts to focus on that with his scent filling my nose and memories filling my mind.
Miles was still staring at me without saying a word. As I slipped into uncertainty, I felt my business smile settle on my face. I cursed inside, but didn't do anything to stop the plastic smile. After years of dealing with international CEOs and top alpha types, I could no more slip off my armor than I could remove my own skin. But this wasn't who I had ever been with Miles. It wasn't something I wanted him to see me as. But I smiled and tilted my head confidently and walked over to shake his hand.
To shake. His fucking. Hand. Like we were just acquaintances. Like I'd never caressed his naked body with absolute worship. Like I'd never been buried deep inside him while we screamed each other's names.
He ignored my hand and, outside, I rolled with it, but inside, I was falling apart. I'd rarely let myself hope that I might someday see him again, but I had hoped that if I was lucky enough, he might at least have forgiven me a little bit.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
I'd pretty much forgotten I was here to look for Zeke, along with nearly every other thought in my brain, but Miles probably didn't want to know all about my brother troubles. "Grabbing coffee on my way home. You?"
"Same."
"Oh. Want to have coffee together?" I was prepared for him to say no, to get the fuck out of his sight, but he stared at me, and I would have given anything to be able to read him. Finally he nodded.
8
Miles
As I pulled into my spot at Cafe Om, I was hit with just how pissed my father was going to be for walking out they way I had and under false pretenses at that. Not that Cafe Om was the best choice for places to hide, not by a long shot, but it was better than going back to work.
Guilt was weighing on me. I needed to either confess to Marcus that he was a reminder of my past and I was using him to try to hold onto any of the goodness from that time that I could salvage or I needed to leave the poor guy alone. It wasn’t fair to him. I knew this. It was just that seeing him brought back so many feels. The hurt of losing my son would never go away. This I knew. But the feels over Parker? How were those still so raw?
What I wanted to do was find out if Marcus was related to Parker, as sick as that was. What good could come of it? None. If he wasn’t related all I did was look crazy and worse--if he was, I would find out how amazingly perfect Parker’s life was now that he was no longer in my life, after having left me in my darkest hour.
Screw that.
I didn’t need to hold onto a past that had thrown me away. Except I was, and it manifested as hanging out with my ex-alpha’s doppleganger.
I was just getting out of my junker when a car worth more than than my college debt pulled in beside me. I stared, trying to figure out what it was, unable to see the emblem on the back. Foreign for sure and a good distraction from my woes. Taking a deep breath, I shut my door behind me, ready to get some sadistic time with my former alpha’s look alike when Marcus climbed out of the car beside me. Holy cow. Omega night must’ve worked for him if he was able to borrow a car that nice.
“Hey, Marcus! You clean up...,” I called out as he turned to face me. No. Not Marcus. It was Parker. My Parker. Fuck.
He came over, dressed in what I assumed was his work attire, his suit hanging off him in the most delicious way and his scent enveloping me. For a half a second, I allowed myself to believe all the bad was a dream and here he was, my Parker. Not the one who never came the only time I needed him, the one before that. The real Parker. My Parker.
The dream shattered instantly when he held out his hand to me as if I were a freaking client.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as if years hadn’t been between us. As if life hadn’t been between us. As if death… no I couldn’t allow my brain to go there. I couldn’t. I put on my attorney face, hiding behind the facade that I put on when I couldn’t allow my emotions through.
"Grabbing coffee on my way home. You?" He acted as if he wasn’t seeing me, the omega he completely abandoned in his darkest hour.
Did he think I would forget how I had asked for him repeatedly, only to have my mom finally confess that she’d talked to him and that he wanted no part of my life anymore?
"Same," I autoreplied, not allowing an inkling of emotions through.
"Oh. Want to have coffee together? "Was he freaking insane, or just insensitive? Not that it mattered, because turning him down wasn’t an option. I felt a sick sense of completeness being near him, even though he was the one who left me, abandoned me. Something that he seemed to bug him since we were about to have coffee.
"I don't have much time, but a quick cup shouldn't hurt."
I walked in, assuming he’d follow. Or not. I wasn’t sure which I wanted more until I reached the counter and witnessed the first time Marcus saw Parker. Of all things that mattered in that moment, I was focused on the bit that was least connected to me. To my emotions. To the wound in me that was once again raw.
"Marcus! Stop making out with the newbie." I called, teasing him in a way that was all too common for us. He never was making out with anyone, not here, anyway. He had his eyes set on an alpha, not the omegas and betas that filled the Cafe Om staff, at least at this location.
There was a crash in back, followed by some creative cursing. Oh, Marcus.
"Miles, if you want a piece of this you know you're going to--whoa whoa whoa." He came barreling out in true form until his eyes hit Parker. He froze briefly before becoming all Marcus the barista again.
Was it possible Parker was doing the same thing Marcus and I were? Were all three of us hiding behind facades? If so, what was he feeling about all of this?
"So, I wasn't wrong? You two are brothers?" Instant regret slammed into me as I caught the looks in their eyes. I shouldn't have set them up like this Marching Parker in here unannounced served no purpose other than to make me feel like I had some control. I was an ass.
"Twins," Parker confirmed, his voice low and quaking slightly. I had messed up a lot in my life, but I had a feeling this was a close second to the decisions I made that night, and this one couldn’t be blamed on anyone other than myself. "Hey, Zeke."
Marcus flipped his bleached hair and placed a hand on his hip, cocking an elbow out. "It's Marcus."
"Yeah, okay. How you been?"
"Living." Marcus was in full on barista mode, text-book model, but I knew better. I’d seen it before when a customer came in all anti-omega. He held it together perfectly until they left and then boom, he crumbled. "Can I get you drinks?"
"My usual.” Becaus
e there was no way I could think to order anything else. If this were a nightmare, waking up would be the best of all options.
"Americano," Parker ordered as his brother did all he could not so much as glance at him before turning to me and adding, "My treat."
I’d already put my money and frequent buyer card on the counter on autopilot, and momentarily regretted it. Not that I wanted him to buy my drink, but the omega in me liked the fact that he offered after all this time. It was official, I was a hot mess and the emotions buzzing around were destroying any sense of rationality I’d been holding onto. "Thanks, but no need."
"Take a seat. I'll bring the drinks out when they're ready."
I mouth an apology to Marcus as he finished the coffee and made my way to a table in the back corner. I should leave. I knew this. No good could come from any of this. But I kept walking, sitting in the seat I first sat in when I met Marcus.
“Sorry about that.” I spy out before Parker sat down. There was so much needed saying, but at least I could start there.
9
Parker
My head was spinning. I'd hardly expected to actually find Zeke here. I certainly hadn't expected to meet Miles I shook my head, trying to clear it of the millions of fragmented thoughts distracting me from Miles’s words. “What are you sorry about?”
He shifted uncomfortably, something breaking through his flat mask momentarily. “Setting you up like that. I'd been wondering if you and Marcus were related. I should have just asked.”
Zeke--Marcus--my brother dropped off our drinks and turned away without a word. I wanted to call him back. I wanted to apologize to Miles, but he was apologizing to me--there was so much happening at once
“Again, I’m sorry. I only said yes to coffee because of that, which was a double jerk move.” He sighed. “Serves me right,” he practically whispered. “I'm glad you're doing well, Parker I won't bother you any further.”
He stood and sold smoothly from his chair, and before I could tumble from my own--tripping over my own damn feet--he was gone, in his car and pulling away. Damn it. I hadn't even gotten a chance to--
I turned back to the counter to face my other predicament, it a young beta woman stood in Zeke’s place. Had he run from me as well?
“Did Zeke leave?” I asked her.
She tilted her head at me in confusion “Who?”
That was right “Is Marcus still here?”
“In the back…” she said hesitantly.
Better to ask forgiveness than permission… I slid behind her and into the back before she could squeak. I wasn't going to miss my chance to talk to my brother, especially after losing my moment with Miles.
“Z--Marcus?” I called, but no answer. I did hear a sound though… I moved closer to it, and realized it was someone crying. Was that my Zeke crying? My exuberant, cheerful brother? Nothing could keep the Zeke I remembered down. I was starting to come to terms with the fact that he was no longer the Zeke I remembered.
The crying was coming from an employees’ restroom. I knocked on the door. “Zeke. Marcus. Can we just talk?”
“No.”
One thing that probably hadn't changed, Zeke was stubborn. But I was more so. I sat down, resting my back against the door. “Too bad, little bro. I'm not going anywhere until I find out what happened.”
There was a choking laugh. “What happened? That’s rich. Just run back to your mommy and daddy. I don't have a family anymore.”
Actually hearing the words from his mouth hurt even worse than hearing them from Mom years ago. It hurt worse than the years of silence. It made me more determined to find out what had happened And I would fix it. I may not be able to fix what went wrong between Miles and I, but no matter what had happened between Zeke and I, we were brothers. Nothing could break that.
“Hey, you. Employees only. I'm going to need you to leave, or I'll call the authorities.” The man addressing me was no meek beta. His alpha presence matched my own.
I stood to address him on equal ground. “I'm just trying to talk to my brother.”
“I don't care what you're trying to do,” he said, his presence emanating determination and danger. “You're harassing my employee, and I won't stand for that.”
“Just go,” Zeke urged from the restroom.
The alpha lifted his cell phone. I let myself look at the situation from his point of view I knew I would never hurt Marcus, it he didn't. I felt a rife surge of relief that my brother had someone looking out for him, even if it wasn't me. The alpha was in his rights to throw me out. But no. I couldn't leave my brother who was clearly hurting without fixing it somehow. I sat again and the alpha started to dial.
“Dammit, Parker. For just once in your life can you not be the stereotypical stubborn alpha?” Zeke opened the door and I nearly feel backward. “If I agree to talk to you, will you leave?”
“Now?” I wasn't leaving without at least a firm commitment.
“No.” Zeke ran his fingers through his hair. “What about Tuesday?”
“I have a business trip,” I said automatically, but at the look on his face, I added, “I can cancel.”
“Don't cancel.”
“Friday? That’s when I get back?”
“Okay. I work until six in the evening. Meet me here.”
“I will,” I promised. “I guess I should let you get back to work.” I nodded acknowledgement to the alpha. I wanted to reach out and pull Zeke into a hug, but I knew he wouldn't welcome it. “See you then.”
I was too wired now, even without caffeine, to head home. But I definitely couldn’t work. As I drove, I realized my subconscious had already decided.
When I’d first moved here, an old college friend who was originally from the area had taken me to one of his favorite haunts, a place he’d told me about endlessly when we were in school. Purple Velvet had a world-renowned open jam every Sunday. Anyone and everyone could and did show up on Sundays. You never knew what famous musician or soon-to-be-famous starlet you’d run into there. I’d liked it, and had tried going back on a weekday, only to find that outside of Sundays, the bar was basically nothing. It was dead. Empty. And that was just what I wanted right now. I couldn’t count on anywhere else being empty, even though it was a weekday. After those two visits to Purple Velvet, I hadn’t had the time or inclination to drown myself in liquor, either with the buoyant energy of music lovers or alone.
10
Miles
Perfect. Just what I needed—a run in with Parker and pissed off parents.
I texted back that my meeting had been at Café Om and I apologized for missing their texts. Mostly true—I’d had a meeting. A meeting with my past; one I wished I had missed. A sick part of me wanted to go back and see if I could get information out of Marcus, but fear that Parker was still there, kept that desire at bay. I wasn’t sure if it was the guilt over having set him up that way or the slamming of the feels from seeing him after all this time, but I just couldn’t handle life at that moment.
According to my phone, I had over an hour before I had to be home for what was now a mandatory dinner. There was no way I wanted to be early for that little gem, especially given my current state. The interrogation after fleeing the office for the second time was going to be bad enough, but coming in looking like someone stole my puppy after they smashed my birthday cake and kicked me in the shins was only going to exacerbate things.
I looked out the car window to get my bearings. I had no idea where I had ended up after driving like a bat out of hell thanks to the emotional thrashing I’d been dealt from running into Parker.
I was in the back lot of a bar. If fate gives you lemonade, might as well have a drink. The lot was pretty bare, giving me hope that the inside was as well. The last thing I wanted to do was to walk in on a happy hour filled with people wanting to be merry. Or worse, alphas who might be able to scent my heat was not too far away. The pharmacy had run out of my suppressants or I would’ve started them already because no one need
s that hassle.
I entered through a side door near the back. The interior was dark and dingy. Perfect. I didn’t even look at the bar, and took a booth in the back. I didn’t want to inadvertently invite company by sitting near an empty stool at the bar. I wasn’t the best looking omega out there, but at my age, I was one of the few single ones, and a few drinks made everyone pretty decent looking.
The waitress came by and I placed my order before checking my phone. Not for anything in particular, just to look busy. That was the sucky thing about being an omega; everyone thought you were either looking for a mate or a lay. I was looking for neither. Hiding was my game. Seemed to be my MO lately.
“Here you go.” This time it’s a dude who drops my drink instead of the girl who took my order. But the drink’s not mine. I ordered a beer on tap, and this was some kind of nasty smelling shot of some sort. I tried to signal him down to no avail. I took a quick sip. It was actually not so bad. I was taking another sip when the waiter who dropped it off reappeared.
“Sorry, that’s his. She just said ‘hot guy who just came in’.” The waiter’s inadvertent compliment might have been nice given any other situation, but the other hot guy he pointed to was freaking Parker.
“Fuck.” I slammed my head into my hands.
“Sir, I’m sorry. No charge. On me. Seriously, don’t tell my boss.” The waiter was rambling on before it clicked he thought I was mad at him and it could affect his job.
“You’re fine. I just remembered something I didn’t want to, is all.”
He began to ramble on again, but his words didn’t register because this time, Parker had seen me too, and he was on his way over to my booth. The booth I was currently trapped in thanks to the freaking out waiter.
Reclaiming His Omega: M/M Non-Shifter Alpha/Omega MPREG (Cafe Om Book 5) Page 3