“You’re resigned to staying, then?”
“For the time being,” she conceded. “Until Tess feels more settled, until she trusts me.”
“And your career? Will it suffer?”
She grinned ruefully. “Much as I hate to admit it, Tex was probably right. There’s a lot I can handle from right here. We’ll take it day by day and see what comes up that can’t be managed from the middle of nowhere.”
He tapped her chest. “What about in here? Will you be okay with staying?”
She met his gaze evenly, saw the wistfulness in his eyes. “I’d rather be in New York, Jake. I can’t pretend otherwise, not even for you.”
He sighed. “I see.”
“Do you? Do you really understand what it meant to me to go there, to make it on my own, to make a life—a name—for myself?”
“Obviously you felt you had something to prove,” he said tightly. “What I can’t figure out is who you needed to prove it to.”
“Myself mostly. Tex, of course.” Because he still looked skeptical, Megan went on. “Try to remember something, Jake. I was the kid whose own mother didn’t want her. I was the kid who was thrust on a grandfather I barely knew and then abandoned by the mother I loved. Maybe my mom wasn’t the best, maybe she was selfish, maybe she made a lot of mistakes. But she was all I knew and I loved her, the same way Tess still loves Flo, the same way you loved your mother.”
“You got the best of it. You were left with a man who not only loved you, but did everything in his power to let you know it,” Jake countered. “Wasn’t that enough?”
“To make up for being abandoned by a mother?” she asked. “I’m not sure anything can make up for that. I’ll probably spend all of my life craving approval, trying to figure out why she didn’t love me.”
He regarded her knowingly. “And now that you have approval and love from millions who read your books and magazines or watch your TV show, is it enough?”
It was her turn to sigh. “No,” she admitted in a voice barely above a whisper. “It’s never enough.”
He traced the line of her jaw, his expression filled with compassion. “Then isn’t it time you learned to look inside? That’s where you’ll find the only approval that really counts, Meggie.”
He was right, of course. But for reasons she’d never fully understood, every time she examined her life she came up wanting. It was a great motivator. It kept her striving to be not just better, but to be the best. As Jake had just suggested, though, she had to wonder if she’d be satisfied even if she succeeded beyond her wildest expectations.
21
All the way back to the ranch, Megan was aware of Jake’s headlights in her rearview mirror. He’d announced that he was going to stop by for a visit with Tess, had gotten into his car and waited for her to start up and head away from Peggy’s. Megan had been too exhausted to argue with him.
In truth, she was glad he would be there as a buffer between her and Peter. Jake had a daunting effect on the accountant’s amorous intentions. She might as well take advantage of that. Maybe Peter would get the message and go home the second they finished making a few last business decisions. That would also get Peter out of the path of her misguided matchmaking designs in case she lost her head and was tempted to follow through with them.
Five minutes after they walked in, Mrs. Gomez had their very late dinner on the table, with places set for Megan, Tess, Todd, Peter and Jake. Apparently the housekeeper had seen the handwriting on the wall. As long as Peter was around, Jake would be, too. Megan wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about Jake feeling so blatantly territorial about her.
“How did the taping go?” Peter asked.
“It was fantastic,” Todd answered, to Peter’s obvious disappointment. “Couldn’t have gone more smoothly.”
“Did Peggy do okay?” Tess asked. “Alissa said at school that her mom was a nervous wreck.”
“Her mom was spectacular,” Megan said, then glanced at Peter. “In fact, I want to hire her to do segments on a regular basis. How much can we budget for it?”
“She’ll have to get union scale,” Peter said. “With what you’re spending on this new studio, transportation and housing for the crew, you’ll be lucky to break even this year. Add in another salary and you’ll be in the red.”
Megan winced. “Overall or just for the show?”
“For the show, but—”
“Good. Then we can manage it. Todd, have a contract drawn up. Jake, will you go over it with him?”
Jake lifted his glass of tea in a toast. “We live to serve, isn’t that right, Peter?”
Peter scowled at him. “I beg your pardon?”
“You and I, we’re just the flunkies around here.”
“Call yourself what you will, I am Megan’s financial adviser.” He turned to her. “And I can’t tell you how seriously I object to this plan of yours.”
Megan nodded. “Duly noted. Todd?”
“Consider it done.” He grinned at Jake. “You want to draw it up or shall I?”
“You sketch out the terms,” Jake said, “since you know what you have in mind. I’ll put in the legal language.”
“Can you have it ready for me to take along in the morning?” Megan asked.
Jake gave her an amused look. “Maybe, if I stay over.”
Peter looked downright horrified by the suggestion. Megan’s pulse, however, skipped several beats, before she bothered to shoot Jake down. “Sorry. All the beds are tied up.”
“I’m willing to share,” he said, his gaze never once leaving her now-flaming face.
“Oh, I’ll just bet you are,” she muttered.
“He could stay in my room,” Tess volunteered. “I can sleep downstairs in Mrs. Gomez’s room.”
“No,” Megan said hurriedly. “Mrs. Gomez is staying tonight, so she’ll be here to get breakfast at the crack of dawn tomorrow.”
“Then I could sleep in with you,” Tess argued. “Let Jake stay, please.”
Jake awaited her decision with blatant amusement. “Oh, for heaven’s sake, stay if it will make you happy,” Megan said finally. “I’m going to bed. Tess, are you coming? It’s past your bedtime as it is.”
“I want to show Jake the kittens first. They’re getting really big. I want him to help me choose which one to bring in the house.”
“Okay,” Megan agreed. “Make a quick trip to the barn, then let Jake and Todd get to work.”
“I believe I’ll walk you to your room,” Peter said, standing.
Megan barely managed to contain a groan. What enabled her to do it was the expression on Jake’s face. He looked as if he’d just been trumped in a high-stakes game.
At the top of the stairs, Peter reached for her hand. “Megan, I have to tell you that I think you’re making a terrible mistake letting that child have her way all the time. Children that age need routine and discipline.”
His interference irritated her. “Her mother abandoned her,” she pointed out sharply. “Her father—my grandfather—just died. I doubt that it will hurt to indulge a few of her whims.”
Apparently he opted to let that pass. “I don’t like Jake,” he continued instead. “He may be a lawyer, but he’s a little rough around the edges, if you ask me. I think he’s shady, perhaps even dangerous.”
Megan couldn’t argue with that. In fact, that hint of danger was precisely what made Jake so blasted attractive, why she’d never fully gotten him out of her system. Every woman on earth seemed to fall for the rebels, at least until she came to her senses.
“It’s part of his appeal,” she told Peter, sure that he would be appalled by her admission. Judging by his sour expression, he was.
“You can’t be saying what I think you are,” he protested. “Do you find him attractive?”
“Sorry to say, but yes. Always have. Probably always will,” she said with an air of resignation.
Peter met her gaze, studied her, then sighed heavily. “I was afraid of that.”
/>
She touched his hand sympathetically, even though she couldn’t help being relieved that he was finally backing off. “I’m sorry, Peter.”
“No need. I guess I’ve known for some time that we weren’t suited, but I didn’t want to admit it. You’re the only woman I’ve ever met who fit all of the qualifications on my list.”
Megan’s mouth gaped. “You have a list of qualifications?”
He didn’t seem the least bit disturbed by her astonishment. “Well, of course. A man in my position has to choose wisely.”
“Oh, Peter,” she said, shaking her head. “I really, truly hope I’m around when you finally find true love.”
He seemed taken aback by that. “Why?”
“Because you’re going to discover that love is quite often messy and unpredictable and nothing at all like what you envisioned.”
Once again an image of Peggy came to mind. What could it hurt to just introduce the two of them? Megan thought rashly. The attention of a sophisticated man like Peter would do Peggy’s battered ego good, even if nothing else ever came of it.
“Will you come to the taping tomorrow?” she asked, giving in to impulse.
He regarded her with evident confusion. “But why? I have things to finish up here. Frankly, the sooner I can be on my way, the better.”
“Just come,” she begged. “I want you to see why I was so insistent about hiring Peggy.”
“I’m no judge of talent.”
“Perhaps not, but I think you’ll see what the rest of us saw.” In fact, she strongly suspected that he would see exactly the kind of woman he’d never expected to fall in love with.
Sweet heaven, it must be in the genes, Megan thought with dismay. If she kept this up, she was going to wind up being as much of a meddler as Tex.
Jake spent a very restless night in Tess’s bed, as Megan had obviously wanted him to. The thought of Meggie being just out of reach down the hall was maddening. And with Tess tucked away in there next to her, there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about it.
One of these days, though, before too very long, he was going to get even. He was going to make love to Megan the way he’d always dreamed of doing. After that, he expected all the pieces of his life to finally fall neatly into place. He would have the running of a ranch to challenge him, a few legal cases that really meant something and the family he’d always wanted.
Satisfied with his plan, he slipped out of the house before dawn to head back into town. It was a calculated move, designed to throw Megan off stride. She would expect him to be at the breakfast table, dancing attendance. Maybe she would even admit—to herself, anyway—that she missed him.
As brilliant as he thought his strategy was, he was still grumpy when he slid onto a stool at the diner and accepted a cup of coffee from Henrietta.
“You certainly look like something the cat dragged in,” she noted, leaning across the counter to study him. “Bloodshot eyes, stubble on your cheeks. Were you out on a bender, Jake Landers?”
“Who are you—Perry Mason?”
“Just a friend with sharp eyes.”
“And a sharp tongue. Go pester some other customer.”
“You’re the only one here. The doors just opened.”
“Then go pester the help. Where’s Barbara Sue?”
“Not here yet.”
His head snapped up. “Again?”
“She called in, though. She’s on her way. She’s just seeing to it that those two kids of hers have breakfast and get their things together for school.”
“Are you sure?”
“Have to take her word on it, don’t I?” Henrietta retorted. “If I question everything that comes out of her mouth, she’ll up and quit. Then who’ll keep an eye on her?”
He noticed Henrietta’s concern was more for Barbara Sue than it was for her own staffing problems. The woman had a heart of gold. “Okay. You’re probably right,” he conceded. “But you’ll let me know if there’s any sign of more abuse?”
“And what will you do? She’s made it plain to both of us she won’t press charges. I’d like to shake some sense into her, but of course that would just be counterproductive.”
“I can mention the problem to Bryce. Let him keep an eye out.”
“You’re forgetting something. Lyle is Bryce’s cousin. It’s going to take a lot more than a bug in his ear from you to get him to drag Lyle into custody. His aunt Emma would tan Bryce’s hide if he tried to put her precious boy into jail without twice the evidence he’d need against any other man.”
“Then I’ll deal with Lyle myself,” Jake said. “I wouldn’t mind getting in a few licks to show him what it’s like to be on the receiving end.”
“Tell me when and where and I’ll help,” Henrietta said fervently.
Jake grinned. “You would, too, wouldn’t you?”
“In a heartbeat. I never did care much for bullies.”
Barbara Sue strolled in then, the collar on her winter coat turned up. She caught their surreptitious survey and asked warily, “Okay, what’s wrong?”
“Not a thing,” Henrietta assured her. “You working front or back today?”
Barbara Sue’s pale complexion flushed at the question. She was obviously aware of exactly what Henrietta was really asking: whether there were more bruises she needed to hide.
Shrugging out of her coat, she said briskly, “I’ll help out here. It’s time I pulled my weight around this place.”
Henrietta gave her a sharp look. “You do your job. Doesn’t matter whether it’s here or in the kitchen. I have no complaints.”
“Thank you,” Barbara Sue murmured, and went off to get an apron.
“She looks almost upbeat today,” Henrietta noted. “That’s always a bad sign.”
“Meaning?” Jake asked.
“Right when she convinces herself that things are getting better, Lyle usually sees a need to drag her back down a peg or two.”
“He’s that predictable?”
“Men like Lyle are always predictable,” Henrietta said with disgust. “It’s more fun to be mean when the victim’s least expecting it.”
“Damn,” Jake muttered, keeping his eye on the kitchen door in anticipation of Barbara Sue’s return. “There ought to be something…”
Henrietta sighed. “I know there ought to be, but until she’s ready to leave him, there’s nothing any of us can do except keep an eye out for those kids. He goes near one of them and he’s got me to deal with.”
Jake had a feeling Henrietta was single-handedly capable of putting the fear of God into Lyle Perkins. He just prayed it wouldn’t come to that.
“Venison stew?” Peter’s face blanched. “Isn’t that…?”
“Deer,” Megan confirmed.
“You’re going to cut Bambi up into little pieces?” he asked, clearly horrified.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” Megan snapped. “Eating venison is no different than eating steak or chicken. I know for a fact that you are not a vegetarian. I’ve been on those expense account lunches with you, remember?”
“It still sounds obscene to me.”
“Well, out here, venison stew is a good meal, and nobody makes it better than Peggy.”
“If you say so.”
Just then Peggy came into the kitchen. She was dressed once again in jeans and a western shirt with a bandanna knotted jauntily at her throat. Her hair was an untamable riot of curls. The extra weight she’d put on over the years had added tantalizing curves. She was every man’s fantasy of a sexy cowgirl. Peter stared at her, mouth gaping. Clearly this was not the happy homemaker he’d been expecting, Megan concluded with delight.
“Peter Davis, I’d like you to meet Peggy Barkley,” she said, drawing them both close. “Peter’s visiting from New York. He’s a whiz with numbers. I’d be lost without him.”
“Maybe I should let him have a crack at my checkbook,” Peggy joked half-seriously. “I’m off by sixty-one cents and I can’t find it for the life of m
e.”
“Peter prefers to search for thousand-dollar mistakes,” Megan said. “I’m sure he could solve your problem in no time, though, couldn’t you, Peter?”
“Of course,” he said, his expression bemused.
At that moment all three of Peggy’s kids came racing in for a goodbye kiss.
“See you, Mom,” Alissa said. “Break a leg. I heard that’s what they say to all the stars before they go on stage. I think it’s so awesome that you’re doing this. My mom, the TV star!”
Peggy blushed. “I am not a star.”
“You will be,” Megan promised.
“Hey, Mom, how come I’ve got peanut butter and jelly again?” the youngest demanded, bringing Peggy back down to earth.
“Because that’s all I had time to fix,” she retorted. “You want something different, you know where the refrigerator is.”
He gave her a smacking kiss. “Peanut butter’s great. Can’t wait.”
“I thought you’d adapt,” she said dryly. “Now get going before you miss the bus.”
After they blasted out the door, she turned back to Peter. “Sorry. I would have introduced you, but they had about two minutes till the school bus hits the end of the lane. The driver doesn’t like to wait, and obviously I can’t take them in this morning.”
“Another time,” Peter said, looking dazed.
Megan gave a little nod of satisfaction at the way things were going and wandered off in search of Todd. She found him outside on the porch, even though the early morning air was still chilly.
“Hiding out?” she asked, sitting in the rocker next to his.
“Going over this contract one last time,” he said without looking up.
“So you and Jake did finish it. I’d wondered.”
“We wrapped it up about two this morning.”
“Did he leave then?”
Todd glanced up finally and shrugged. “I don’t think so. He was headed up to Tess’s room last time I saw him.”
“He wasn’t at breakfast and his car was gone this morning.”
Todd regarded her with blatant amusement. “Keeping pretty close tabs on him, aren’t you?”
After Tex Page 24