Steve heard Adam, Bishop, and Sloan stand, but he didn’t turn around. Instead, he slowly backed away from Ronan. Steve wanted to scream his rage, take it out on anyone who placed themselves in front of him, but he knew it was wrong. So wrong. Hearing that Mira was crying at this moment had him wanting to run back to their room, but he couldn’t, not until he got his shit straight. “Because she’s mated to a piece of shit.”
Realizing he just said that out loud, Steve pushed past Ronan and quickly exited the office and then the compound. He had to fight with himself not to run back to Mira. Knowing he made her cry tore him apart, but he just couldn’t bring himself to face her. It was hard to face any of them.
Not even bothering with a car, he just jumped the wall and continued walking, not knowing or caring where he was going. Hearing footsteps coming toward him, he prepared himself for an attack. That’s where his mind went immediately since that day. He jumped at shadows and hated it. Always on edge and close to losing his shit. Today was the day he finally lost it, and he hated himself.
The footsteps moved beside him, and Steve cursed. “Not now, Adam.”
“Just taking a walk, man,” Adam said beside him. “Nice, brisk evening for a walk.”
Steve rolled his eyes. “Brisk?” Steve snorted. “Really? We gonna play this fucking game?”
“Up to you.” Adam’s voice remained calm and cool. “I’m here for it.”
Stopping, Steve glared at Adam. “I’m fine, and if I have to say that one more fucking time today, I’m seriously going to kill someone.”
“You aren’t fine,” Adam shot back. “You haven’t been fine for a while. Steve, you can’t fool me, man. I’ve been hoping you’d work it out, but you’re not.”
“Have you been reading me?” Steve’s eyes narrowed, a sneer slashed across his lips.
Adam shook his head. “You are the one person I don’t ever have to read, Steve.”
The relief he felt was swift. He believed Adam without a second thought. If Adam had been reading him, he would admit it with no apologies.
“You’re my brother and not just in the Warrior way.” Adam continued. “You are my brother, Steve. I know you better than I know myself and would lay my life down for you. I’ve seen you struggling. Been waiting for you to come to me to talk, but your stubborn ass is making me come to you now.”
Adam’s words hit a place so deep inside Steve that it almost doubled him over, but he remained silent, not sure what words would fall out of his mouth if he opened it.
“What they did to you is fucked up, man.” Adam’s eyes darkened in anger. “But you’re stronger than this, Steve. You don’t have to deal with this alone. What they did to you would fuck with any one of us.”
Steve heard his words, yet didn’t quite believe them. “I’m fucked up in the head,” Steve admitted after a few minutes. “When I look at anyone, all I see is pity. All I can remember is having my mate standing there watching me being weak as fuck as I’m pulled off the fucking gate and carried into the compound.”
Understanding crossed Adam’s face. “Do you know how many times I’ve seen one of the Warriors shed a tear? Duncan, when he thought he lost Pam, to name one. You didn’t fucking shed a tear as they pulled your torn body off that gate. Not one.”
“I was probably passed out.” Steve snorted with a shake of his head. “And—”
“Shut up and listen to me,” Adam growled, grabbing Steve’s arm. “I need you, brother. I need you beside me. Shit is getting real, more real than when our dumbasses were trainees. We are dealing with some badass shit and I need you. We all need you. This isn’t a pity pep-talk bullshit I’m giving you right now. It’s facts. You are a Warrior who I need beside me, we all do, and next time it could be me someone is carrying back to the compound, and I want that fucker to be you. Got it?”
Steve felt his shoulders straighten slightly. “He was right there. Standing in front of me.” Steve glanced away from Adam briefly. “I could have had him, but I failed.”
“Shit, man. How many times has that bastard been in front of us?” Adam hissed. “He’s a slippery fucker, who we will catch. Orjyll is legit, as much as I hate saying that. This isn’t some stupid-ass rogue vampire with bloodlust we’re going after. This dude has an agenda that honestly scares the fuck out of me, but he’s going down, and we can’t do it without you.”
Thinking hard about what Adam was saying, Steve actually felt more himself than he had since he’d been taken by Orjyll and then let loose as if he weren’t a threat but a messenger to the Warriors. Glancing at Adam, he cocked his eyebrow. “Do you think of Duncan crying often? You know, to make yourself feel more like a badass?”
A slow smile spread across Adam’s face as he took a step back. “You got this, Steve, and when you feel like you don’t, come to me. I need you, man. I can’t do this shit without you.”
“I lurve you too.” Steve grinned, then turned serious. “It really fucked me up in the head, Adam.”
“Yeah, I know, but this is our life, and we need to work it out. Can you imagine how much shit the other Warriors have dealt with, what they have seen? You aren’t the only one who’s ever lost his shit for a while, and I expect your scrawny ass to be there when it’s my turn,” Adam warned him as they continued on with their walk.
“Wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Steve replied honestly, then slowed. “I need to go apologize to Mira.”
“Yeah, in a bit.” Adam put his arm around Steve’s shoulder in a bro hug. “I’m being selfish here and need to chill with my brother. You can talk to her before we go shopping with the women.”
“What? Shopping? For what?” Steve frowned. He hated going shopping with the women. All they wanted to do was look at clothes. Fucking boring.
“Toys for the kids. That’s what Sloan was calling you in the office for,” Adam replied, then checked his phone. “In about an hour.”
Steve sighed. “Guess I need to apologize to old grump ass also.”
Adam laughed, then shook his head. “I think maybe we should just let that one go. Sloan doesn’t do apologies like women. He’ll probably tell you to shove it up your ass.”
Nodding, Steve glanced at Adam. “Thanks, man.” When Adam only bobbed his head, Steve looked forward and promised, “And I swear to you that no one else will carry you.”
Chapter 11
Tessa’s nerves were about shot. She rushed through the compound, heading toward Sloan’s office. She had asked Sloan if she could schedule a meeting with him and all the Warriors, Charger included. He set it up right before the shopping spree for the kids since most of the Warriors were going to be there anyway.
Raven waited beside the game room, her arms crossed around her stomach as she watched the Warriors pile into Sloan’s office. Yeah, she knew how Raven felt. They were an intimidating lot, though she felt Raven had probably faced down worse in her life.
“You ready?” Tessa rushed up to her, her eyes leaving Jared as he stared at her in question. He always knew when she was up to something, and she was sure Sloan told him that she had called the meeting.
“Yes,” Raven said with a tilt of her head.
The front door opened, sending cold air rushing in and blowing their way. Charger stomped the snow off his boots, his eyes lifting to them and then settled on Raven. That’s when Tessa saw it. Brief as it was, she saw the desire in his eyes before he could hide it. With a short nod toward them, he disappeared into Sloan’s office.
“No,” Raven said, this time her voice shaking.
Confused, Tessa frowned up at her. “No, what?”
“I’m not ready for this.” Raven fell heavily against the wall, closing her eyes.
Shit. Tessa grabbed her arm and pulled her into the dark game room that was only lit by the tiny lights of the Christmas tree. “Raven, you are ready for this. It’s what you want, right?”
“I guess.” Raven nodded, then shrugged. “I mean, yes. I think.”
Tessa sighed, shaking
her head. “They are going to eat you alive in there if you are wishy-washy about this. You want it or you don’t. There is no ‘I guess’ or ‘I think.’” Tessa had a feeling she was going to have to play a little dirty to get to the bottom of Raven’s true feelings. “What happened to the woman in the kitchen? You see Charger and everything changes? Yeah, he’s sexy as hell and has an ass that don’t quit.”
Raven cocked her eyebrow at her.
“Yes, I’m mated, but I can still look.” Tessa gave her a half grin, then turned serious. “So I see it that you have two choices. One, stay with the Guardians and be miserable watching him with other women, etcetera, etcetera… or two, transfer and be a kickass VC Warrior.”
“Or just walk away,” Raven replied, her voice full of pain.
“No! That’s not a choice.” Tessa shook her head, then frowned as she touched Raven’s arm. “Unless… you want that to be a choice, which I hope not. You have so much to offer, Raven. Don’t let a man dictate your life like this. Believe me when I tell you, I’ve been there, and it was the most miserable time of my life. Fuck men. You need to do you.”
“Excuse me?” Jared’s voice said as he walked up behind her. “Did you just say fuck men?”
Tessa squeezed her eyes shut before she looked back at Raven. “Couldn’t have told me he was behind me?” She gave her a “thanks a lot” glare before turning around. “I’m giving her a pep talk, babe.”
Jared’s eyes narrowed as he looked between the both of them. “You know, I don’t even want to know.” Jared backed off. “But Sloan is about ready to stab someone with his pen if you don’t get in there. You did call this meeting, didn’t you?”
Nodding, Tessa glanced toward Sloan’s office to see Charger leaning just inside the doorway. Their eyes met before his went to Raven’s and away. “Yeah, I did. Just one more sec,” Tessa said, then waved him toward Sloan’s office.
“Did you just dismiss me?” His frown grew as he stood rooted to the spot, not budging.
“Of course not,” Tessa replied with a sexy smile. “I would never do that, but I need to talk to Raven about… woman stuff.”
An uncomfortable expression flashed across Jared’s face as he automatically took a step backward, looking between the two women. “Yeah, okay. Ah, hurry up before Sloan loses his shit.”
“Be there in a jiff,” Tessa called to his retreating back, then rolled her eyes at Raven, who was grinning from ear to ear. “What?”
Raven just shook her head with a laugh. “You handled that like a pro.” She pushed herself off the wall, straightening her shoulders as her eyes went toward Sloan’s office. “Let’s do this.”
Tessa stepped out of the way as Raven walked confidently to Sloan’s office and past Charger, who was staring at her. Hurrying, she followed until Raven stopped in front of Sloan’s desk. Tessa stayed behind her for backup.
The room became silent, all eyes on her and Raven. She actually wanted to point at Raven to get the attention off herself, but she didn’t. Instead, she stared straight ahead, ready to fight to the death for her stepdaughter. Tessa chuckled under her breath at that, but it was true. In a human world, that’s what Raven was to her, even though they were so close in age. She wondered if it was the same in the vampire world, even though they had been human at one time. Holy shit, why was her thoughts going there? Clearing her mind and throat, she peeked at Jared, who was looking at her oddly as if she’d lost her mind. Giving him a narrowed glare, she turned her attention back to Raven, who hadn’t said a word yet. The silence was becoming uncomfortable, but Raven stood tall and proud. Bless her.
“Tessa?” Sloan’s voice took her further from her thoughts.
She leaned sideways to see Sloan past Raven. “Yes.”
“You called this meeting?” Sloan asked, and she knew he was trying to keep his cool.
“I did,” Tessa replied, realizing too late he wanted more of an answer, but it wasn’t her answer to give.
“Then can you fucking start so we can get to work?” Sloan’s voice got louder and harsher as the sentence went on.
“She called it for me.” Raven finally spoke, making Tessa sigh in relief. “I want to transfer to the VC.”
Tessa had to give the men credit; they didn’t make a sound. Jill, on the other hand, did a low whispered, “Yes!”
“No.” Charger’s voice drowned out Jill’s “yes.”
Looking at Charger, who was staring directly at Raven, Tessa wanted to open her mouth, but decided to let Raven fight this battle until it was time for Tessa to step in. Now was not the time. Raven needed to do this.
“I have the credentials and bring more than knowledge of the VC,” Raven said, totally ignoring Charger, her superior’s, denial of a transfer.
“And what do you know of the VC?” Sloan cocked his eyebrow. “We have drastically different rules.”
“Actually, you don’t.” Raven glanced at Jared. “I’ve learned about the VC from my father, nothing confidential because he would never break the VC Code, but enough to know that I would be an asset to the Vampire Council.”
Sloan thought for a moment as he stared at Raven before glancing over at Charger. “How do you feel about this?”
Tessa frowned, knowing everyone in the room heard Charger’s no, but Sloan didn’t seem to give a shit and asked away.
“It’s my decision.” Raven tried to take control of the situation and steer Sloan’s attention back to her.
“Then why is everyone here?” Sloan asked, looking around the room before his gaze slammed back to her.
“Because if anyone had a complaint, I wanted to hear it from them, not second-hand.” Raven tilted her head proudly before she looked at everyone in the room, her gaze stopping on Charger for longer than anyone else before looking back at Sloan. “Transfer me. If I don’t work out, then let me go.”
“It’s not as simple as that.” Sloan frowned, shaking his head.
“Bullshit,” Tessa whispered, too late realizing even a whisper could be heard by everyone in the room.
“Tessa,” Jared warned, but of course, she ignored him.
“You have something to add, Tessa?” Sloan peered around Raven.
Stepping up, Tessa stood beside Raven. “I think she should have the right to transfer if that’s what she wants.”
“Jared, what are your thoughts on this?” Sloan looked past Tessa to Jared, which pissed her off.
“Why should that matter?” Tessa and Raven said at the same time.
“Because he’s her father, that’s why.” Sloan’s tone was below a bellow. “And if Charger does not approve the transfer, then—”
“I walk.” Raven finished for him.
Tessa frowned, “Raven?”
Raven ignored her. “If I’m not approved for transfer, then I walk away from the Dark Guardians.” Raven turned and looked at Tessa. “Thank you, Tessa, for everything.” She headed for the door. “It’s in your hands, Sloan Murphy.” She stopped in front of Charger.
Tessa sucked in her breath as she looked around to see everyone watching. Jared’s eyes were narrowed. Her gaze went back to Raven.
“This is what you’ve wanted for a long time, Charger,” Raven said, her voice strong and loud. “I suggest you seize the moment and sign the fucking paper so I can transfer. I thought you’d be happy with this turn of events.”
Charger didn’t say anything, but his eyes grew darker with each word she spoke. Raven waited, giving Charger ample time to respond. He didn’t. She just shook her head and then walked out of the room like a boss. Tessa had never been prouder. She turned toward Sloan, who was glaring at the door as Val and Kane followed Raven out.
“So, you going to do the right thing?” Tessa put her hand on her hip, looking between Charger and Sloan.
“Are you going to continue to be a pain in my ass?” Sloan hissed at her, rubbing his eyes with his hands.
“You bet,” Tessa said and hoped she walked out of the room as badass as Raven had. Me
n, the asses, always thinking they knew best, especially where women were concerned. Well, that had better change, and soon. Then again, dealing with Warriors was a whole lot different than dealing with human men.
“Whatever you and Raven need, I’m ready to be a pain in Sloan’s ass,” Jill said as she rushed up beside her, then grinned when Tessa glanced at her. “Well, a bigger pain in his ass. And did you see the way Charger was looking at Raven?”
Tessa did, but she remained silent as Nicole headed their way. She really wanted to go find Raven but knew they were getting ready to leave for the shopping trip. Deciding to give Raven some time, she glanced at Jill. “Yeah, he doesn’t want to lose her.”
“In more ways than one by the look he was giving her. Definitely something there.” Jill wiggled her eyebrows. “If I didn’t have Slade, I would be all over that man. He’s freaking hot…. Oh, hey, babe.”
Tessa chuckled at Jill, who looked guilty as hell as Slade walked up behind her, wrapping his arms over her shoulders. “Who’s hot?”
“Why you, of course.” Jill turned in his arms, giving him a kiss. “Who else?”
Slade gave her a look as if he didn’t believe her, but let it go as they walked away as Jill gave her a wide-eyed “busted” look. Tessa laughed, shaking her head.
“You knew about this?” Jared walked up with a scowl on his face.
“I did.” Tessa nodded, crossing her arms.
“Thanks for backing her.” Jared pulled her into his arms, surprising Tessa to the point she angled away and looked up at him.
“That’s it?” Tessa narrowed her eyes at him. “No yelling at me? No glaring?”
“Am I that much of a dick?” Jared asked, a sadness she had heard a lot lately in his voice.
“Nah, you just get… a little overbearing at times.” Tessa held him tight. “But I still love you.”
Resting her head on his chest, her eyes met Charger’s. He was the one glaring at her. Well, it seemed she went from pissing off one Warrior to enraging a Dark Guardian. Story of her life.
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