by Tes Hilaire
Mike deserved better. He didn’t deserve to be poisoned by the toxic darkness of her soul. Her desperation should not be his demise.
Yet she found herself here now.
When she’d left the station she’d had no intention of ever seeing Mike again. Her one thought after seeing that picture of Mike and Jessica to run. She’d made it onto the subway, and had travelled a whole two stops before her brain had kicked back in, reasserting cold hard facts over her all too human hurt, guilt, and fear. First, she truly had nowhere to go. And second, how did his loving Jessica really change anything?
She was desperate. And when you were desperate you found a way. Otherwise you died. And she couldn’t die yet. Not until she got Mia out of hell.
The door banged open, a shadow engulfing the light that tried to spill in. Her heart raced, a combination of fear and excitement. And wasn’t that latter emotion out of place?
“Christ. Kat. I’ve been looking all over for you.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know where—”
She didn’t get to finish her sentence, her words cut off as he somehow ate up the space between them, taking her chin into his hand, then crushed his lips down upon hers. And oh, did it feel good. She melted, the tingling nerves that had been screaming for sleep rejuvenating under his touch. Her body woke, her fingers digging into his upper arms, her core immediately weeping. It was the scent of the heady pheromones—both his and her own—that aroused her from the sexually induced haze. She tore her mouth away, her hands pushing instead of pulling.
“Mike, wait.”
He growled, trying to reestablish lip contact, but she turned her head to the side.
This wasn’t right. She had no right. “What about Jessica?”
The name finally got through to him. He pulled back, his brow furrowed, his lips pulled down at the corners as he released her arms. “Jessica?”
And okay, not exactly the reaction she’d been expecting, though maybe his confusion was more because he didn’t expect her to know who Jessica was verses he couldn’t figure out why she was relevant right now. “The woman at the Cloisters? Who also happens to be your old partner? A partner who, according the article, is supposed to be dead?”
His brow arched up. He rocked back on his heels. “You’ve been busy. Is that why your scent was all over my desk?”
Her cheeks heated, but she refused to apologize for her snooping. Mike must have decided to let her infraction go because he went on.
“She volunteered to come back.”
“She volunteered…but that would mean…” She snapped her mouth shut. Realizing she was giving too much away again. But, okay, wow. Ganelon was going to be in an even worse mood than normal when he learned the Big Guy upstairs was creating new, full-blooded, Paladin.
His eyes narrowed, boring into her. “I take it you know what that means.”
“I take it you believe now?” she countered.
“Oh, I believe. Hard not to when you confront evil face to face.”
His words chilled her. For a moment she thought he meant her, but then she realized his attention wasn’t even on her, but in his own thoughts as he took to pacing the room. Not that there was much room to pace in, but he managed.
“Did something happen?”
“You mean besides getting a hey-how-are-you-doing greeting from my dead partner?” He scoffed. “Not much beyond watching her fry up the half dozen merker and demon I killed when I lost control of the beast.”
And okay. What a shock that must have been for him. Not just the reincarnation thing, but being cold-cocked with a douse of evil that drew out an inner beast he obviously hadn’t yet accepted. “I’m sorry. I honestly thought you knew what you were the other night.”
He stopped his pacing, his gaze locking her in place. “Why did you come?”
She shifted from her left foot to her right, looking down at her hands that she’d clenched before her. “I have a proposal.”
“Oh?”
Stop being a coward.
She took a deep breath. It was now or never. Time to lay her ace on the table. “I can help you fight Ganelon.”
“Ganelon?”
“The betrayer? I know his weakness.”
She saw when two plus two equaled four in his mind. His eyes narrowed, his breath sucking in. “And how would you know that sort of information?”
“I told you—”
He took a step toward her. “You told me that Mia’s father told you about the Paladin.”
She tensed, resisting the urge to take a concurrent step back. “He did.”
Another step. “But if he did, and you buy into the whole heavenly warrior, good-versus-evil crap you were telling me about, then your reactions don’t make much sense. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be scared of the Paladin. In fact, you should be trying to find them. But you’re not. You’re doing your best to stay far, far away. Even now, you stand there trembling, as if you are similarly scared of me now that I believe.” He air quoted the word believe. “So tell me, Katrina. If I’m one of these Paladin who you keep on talking about, then what are you that you’re terrified of us?”
Each sentence had brought him another step closer until he was all but on top of her. The heat of him in her space had her mind spinning. She didn’t want him to know. Yet when she opened her mouth to lie, she found she couldn’t. He deserved better. And she, well she didn’t deserve anything anymore. Not when her soul was already condemned to hell. “I’m a succubus.”
He jerked back as if struck. “And what the hell is a succubus?”
“A demon.” She choked, half cry, half laughter, because he still looked confused. Yet, this is when the reality where he killed her began. And here she was, the catalyst, serving herself up like a lamb. “I’m half-demon, Mike. A sex demon to be precise. Aren’t you glad now that you know?”
There was a long silence. His body had tensed so tightly that he all but vibrated. She half expected his beast to rip loose. She’d be dead before she could reach the door. He inched forward. She tensed. And then he spun, resuming his pacing between her and the far side of the room. And okay, maybe now was the time to run, yet she knew even if she waited until he was further from the door than her, that he could still beat her.
His next swing by, he rounded on her. His too handsome face contorted in a mix of confusion and pain. “Is that why I crave you now? Because I’m addicted to you?”
Her chest felt like it was cracking under the assault of his volatile emotions. She’d done this when she decided to use him. She’d set out to seduce him, knowing the emotions she pulled from would not only give her energy, but create the need he felt for her now.
No, not set out, succeeded.
She lifted her chin. “Yes.”
It was nothing but the truth. What it didn’t explain was why she seemed to crave him just as much. That’s the energy you’re craving. Not him. Couldn’t be him. Sex was simply the easiest energy for her kind to pull from. For her kind it didn’t matter from whom that energy came as long as there was a shitload of emotions to feed off of. Isn’t that what she’d been told all her life? That the seduction, the game, the sex was all just a means to the end? That the energy came from the high of feeding on the power behind the emotions?
Then why did you not crave sex before? Why does his disappointment hurt so much now?
“So this…” he traced his finger down her cheek, fire licking where skin touched skin. “What’s between us, you’re telling me it’s nothing more than sex?”
She shook her head. Wishing it was otherwise, knowing it couldn’t be. “It can’t be.”
And not just because of what she was and what he was. But of who’d he’d been and who he’d obviously loved before. She would not dishonor that. He was a Paladin. He deserved a Paladin mate. Kat might live the rest of her miserable short existence wishing she could be anything but what she was, but after her upbringing, her training, she knew she couldn’t be his. She would not
be the obstacle that stood between Mike and his happiness.
No, but you’ll still use him. You’ll still bargain for his beast’s aid.
Shame flooded her, though it was not enough to drown her desperation. The bargain wasn’t a bad one. And certainly a far step up from their previous one…at least for him.
“Damn you.” He stepped forward, pinning her against the wall, his face contorted in anger. Yet his hands were gentle, his sexual interest evident in the hard length that pressed against her belly.
She twisted her head to the side, her eyes squeezed shut. Damn it. She was trying to keep her powers in check. By Lucifer she was trying, but her human need for comfort and love must have been fueling the succubus, causing her to send off seductive suggestions even when she didn’t mean to.
She lifted her chin, determined to do this right. “I didn’t come for sex.”
“No? Then what did you come for?”
“I came to offer you a proposal.”
“You did?”
“Yes.”
“And what’s that, beauty?”
“Protect me from the other Paladin. Not only will I lead you to Ganelon’s chambers in hell, but I’ll tell you and any Paladin who will listen all I know about Ganelon. Including his weaknesses.”
“And why should I agree to that, beauty? I’ve seen my fellow Paladin in action now. Trust me, they could get the information out of you if they wanted.”
Kat stiffened, unsure whether he’d follow through on the threat or not. Her succubus heritage allowed her to feel the anger rolling off of him, but she could also sense his hunger for her. Was he fishing for another sort of bargain beyond the information she could provide?
Offering herself to him again would more than likely cement his opinion of her, but would she do it if it was her last option? Not only did she need this man to rescue Mia, but she craved him—in a way she’s never wanted any man before.
Not you’re right. And after, he’d not only hate you, but anything associated with you.
She had to find another way. A way to appeal to the man he was, the man she knew him to be.
“Would you, a cop…would you be okay with that? You wouldn’t protect me?”
“You think I can protect you if the other Paladin decided you are expendable?”
She swallowed, closing her eyes. No he couldn’t. And really, she had no right to ask him to try. They were mortal enemies. She’d made her bargain with the devil’s right hand man. But Mia, God, Mia didn’t deserve this. “Then I would just have you promise that if you can’t, you’ll still get Mia out. There is a woman, Angelina, she runs a shelter on Fulton Ave. Bring her there if I can’t.”
“And why would I make that bargain, beauty?”
She opened her eyes, knew that tears pooled in them. They weren’t even intentional, but she didn’t stop them either. Not when they might help. “Please… Mia, she’s just a child. She’s innocent. Not like me. She is kind and smart and when she looks at people she sees nothing but the good in them. But if she stays there he’ll twist her. He’ll—”
“Who’s he?”
Kat clamped her mouth together, shaking her head. No, no, no! How could she be so stupid?
“Is he this Ganelon you’re all going on about?”
She flinched, couldn’t help it.
“Ah. And why would Ganelon care about the child of a half-succubus, unless…” His eyes widened. “Well, fuck. He’s her father, isn’t he?”
She shook her head, desperation had her hands lifting, fear had them clenching at his shirt. “She’s not like him. She shouldn’t pay for my sins. Please, if you have any compassion, any honor…”
She trailed off, stunned by how much her hands shook. No, not her hands. Though they trembled, it was nothing compared to the quakes of his body caused by the barely suppressed energy.
“Mike?”
He lifted his head, his eyes glowed. She sucked in a breath, staring into the eyes of his beast.
“Ah, beauty. You should have run. My beast wants you too much to give a shit about what you are or who you’ve fucked.”
Chapter Twelve
Cursing both himself and her, Mike claimed Katrina’s mouth, plundering with a desperation that he couldn’t control. Maybe if he had enough of her, the beast would be sated. Maybe then he would be able to see through her seductive powers to the evil she held in her core.
Only as he kissed her, her mouth, first stiff, then yielding to his like a fucking present, her half-choked moans conveying her need, he couldn’t. He was as addicted to this woman as his beast was.
“Mike, this isn’t right,” she gasped the moment he paused for air.
And damn her for voicing the thought. Couldn’t she see he didn’t care? Couldn’t she feel his need? Because fuck if he couldn’t feel hers. And his beast demanded that he take care of her and her needs.
His hands gripped her shoulders, pulling her tighter to him, the heat of her curves burning him through the layers of fabric. The beast growled deep in his throat, decidedly unhappy with the situation. It wanted to rip all the barriers that kept her beautiful body from touching his own skin. An image of what she’d look like, her eyes wide and stunned, her nipples peaked from the cold, after he’d ripped her clothes from her flashed through the back of his mind, but the man, the one who spent years learning and training for control, checked the beast, his fingers gently working the buttons of her lightweight jacket, spreading the material from her collar bones.
He sucked in a breath at what he revealed. Not her perfect skin, but a row of stitches marring the base of her throat.
Memories slammed into him from the previous night. Memories that had remained buried until the evidence of their truth was laid out before him now. The merker, the smell of sulfur, and another smell, feminine, afraid…Katrina. The merker had touched his woman.
He snarled, wanting to go back in time and kill the fucker all over again. Beneath his fingers Katrina tensed. Her trembling kicking up a notch to full-fledge shaking.
“Ah, beauty. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.” He tipped his head forward, kissing the wound. “Don’t worry. It can’t hurt you again.”
She stilled, a sharp intake of breath. “What…”
“It’s dead now.” He raised his head, knowing the beast was riding the surface, but not caring. She needed to get used to his beast. Needed to understand no matter how pissed or angry, it would not hurt her. “I smelled you on it, and we killed it.”
“We?”
“Me and the beast. It took control when it realized that merker had laid its hands on you.”
And now he was going to erase the creature’s foul imprint by reclaiming what was his. The beast would accept nothing less.
He pulled the jacket from her shoulders, sliding it down her arms. And, fuck, she wasn’t wearing a bra under that T-shirt. He reached for its bottom edge.
“I don’t understand.” Her hands came down on his, though did nothing more than add a small amount of weight as he pulled the tee up, exposing the smooth skin of her belly to the cold air.
“What’s not to understand, beauty? My beast wants you. And no one is going to take you from me.” He pulled the T-shirt off, her breasts popping free as her hands flitted uselessly by her side.
Ah fuck, she was too much to resist.
He bent down, determined to take one of those perfect nipples into his mouth. The moment his mouth closed around the taught peak, he knew it was all over. His beast had a taste now, and there would be no stopping it until it had claimed all of her.
Above him she moaned, her fingers digging into his hair, but then those same fingers tensed, trying to pull him away from his desire. “No, Mike. We can’t do this. Your beast is reacting to my succubus. That’s it. That’s all.”
He lifted his head, a mix of anger and sadness crushing his rib cage. “Is it? Do you really believe that’s all that is going on here?”
He didn’t. As pissed as he was
at her for withholding the information, he understood why she had. He would have done the same in her shoes. She was half demon, and thus his enemy, but she was also half human and therefore in need of his protection as well. Like him, she had two sides to her. And though she might believe otherwise of herself, he didn’t believe that it was the demon that ruled her. Besides, if his beast had some sort of evil kill-meter, how could he want her like this if she were as bad as she claimed?
Our woman. Not bad!
She folded her arms over her breasts, trying to hide the beautiful mounds. “How can it not be now that Jessica is back?”
And okay, if that wasn’t a bucket of cold water. He stood, hands on his hips as he glared down at her. “What the hell does Jessica have to do with this?”
Her arms tensed further, inadvertently pressing her breasts together. “I saw the picture in that file with the article. You obviously loved her. Now that she’s back and you both know what you are, you must see that you two are destined to be mates…”
Laughter erupted from his lungs. It was either that or cry. Damn, was this what was keeping his beauty from giving in to her obvious need? Had she simply put some circumstantial evidence together wrong? And the fact that she even gave a shit was very telling as to how good of a succubus she was—like, try, not good at all.
“I don’t see how this is funny. I’m trying to help you realize—”
He cut her off before she could say anything else to piss his beast off. “No, you’re using excuses that aren’t there.” He stepped into her space, his fingers slipping into the edge of her jeans. “Let me help you realize something. Jessica was my partner. Nothing more.” He popped the first button. “Furthermore, she’s already mated to someone else. So your arguments?” And now the zipper. “They don’t hold water.”
And with that he yanked her jeans down to her feet. And fuck. She wasn’t wearing underwear either. Slim hands clasped his shoulder as he yanked the soft Keds she wore from her feet, then pinned the denim fabric to the floor, his arms snaking around her thighs as he lifted her from the offending material. Though wasn’t he just a gentlemen for not having ripped those to shreds either?