by Tes Hilaire
Their job was to get in, get Mia, then get back to the subway exit. Because the portal they were about to go in through? It was one way. And didn’t that fucking suck. They were completely counting on the fact that the others could cause enough of a diversion up top that the halls would be virtually empty as they tried to sneak in and back out.
Once they got close to the subway—assuming they made it that far—Valin and Gabby and whomever else she had been trying to recruit would come in. Because, yeah, Gabby was pretty damn smart, and she realized that chances of them sneaking back out via the more traveled back entrance was about as likely as those Powerball odds.
Mike had worried how Gabby was going to be able to know when to come to their rescue, but Valin had assured him that he could hide Gabby while they waited for Mike, Katrina and Mia to “sneak” out. He promised they’d be there to assist if—when—they drew a crowd with them. Better yet? Gabby swore that she was strong enough to keep a bead on him and Katrina even across hell’s barriers, and would know when they were close and would call in back up.
That is, she could as long as one or the other of them remained conscious and didn’t find themselves behind heavy shields. Valin had summed that up quite succinctly for Mike: no sleeping, no being knocked out, no being captured, and no dying.
Brilliant. The Paladin was a regular hoot.
“Is that it?” Katrina asked, pulling Mike back to the here and now.
He followed her pointed hand to the large slab in the center of the mausoleum. It was large, easily big enough to house two coffins or more. Beyond that the interior of the mausoleum was pretty much empty, not to mention dusty. “Not much else in here that could be it, is there?”
He stepped up to it, reaching out to touch the slab. The back of his neck exploded in fire, he hissed, pulling his hand back. “Fuck. What was that?”
Katrina slid up beside him, reaching out with her own hand, his instinct was to grab her and yank her back, but the confidence that she was emitting across their bond kept his hands by his sides.
Her hand touched the slab, and though she sucked in a breath, she didn’t pull her hand back. After a moment the slab began to blur, the stone darkening until all he saw was a yawning hole.
“Holy crap.” Sweat beaded on his forehead, a sense of dread so powerful that all he wanted to do was turn and run from this place. Because that dark hole of nothingness that had his beast snarling, the knowledge of where it led? Yeah, he so didn’t want to go in there.
She pulled her hand back, messaging the fingers. “It’s another illusion. It’s not quite the same as the entry in the subway, there doesn’t seem to be any…presence… that makes note of a breach in the barrier, but you’re still going to have to be holding my hand to get through.”
Mike nodded. Katrina and Gabby had discussed this with him. It seemed the entries into hell had another protective measure. You had to have demon blood, be possessed by a demon, or at least be with someone who had demon blood to get through the barriers between realms. Which meant his only ticket back out was going to be with Katrina and Mia. He went in there and something happened and they got separated somehow, he could be well and truly trapped, cut off from all aid. Because as much as Gabby said they were there to help them, he didn’t think that meant trekking into the depths of hell on a hope and a maybe. And even if she might, Mike figured that Valin sure as hell wouldn’t let his mate sacrifice herself like that.
“Mike?”
He looked over at Kat, realized he’d been in la-la land again. Guess he wasn’t the only one in a fog.
“I’m scared.”
Her admittance slammed into him like a truckload of bricks, the taste of her terror sending his beast into full fight or flight mode. And yeah, he was scared too. They’d be stupid not to be. But beyond her fear he could feel her desperate need to see this through, her determination to find Mia and save her. The love she had for her daughter was both awe inspiring and also terrifying, because he knew she’d do anything to save the child. And he? He’d do anything to save her. He’d also do anything to see her truly happy. And that meant that despite the immobilizing terror that was trying to clamp down around him, they had to go in there. Into hell. How fucking insane was that?
He took her hand, giving it a squeeze. Figuring he didn’t need to say anything. She’d proved time and again that she could sense his emotions. She’d know he was scared, too. Would know that didn’t matter, that he still planned to see this through.
“Ready?” he asked instead.
She swallowed, her chin tipping up as she gave a quick nod. They both looked down at the slab. Hands linked, reached out…
Well, here went nothing.
***
Getting in was easy enough. Too fucking easy if you asked Mike. He knew Gabby had said the entrance was rarely guarded, still, he’d expected…something. But so far this had been a walk in the park. Only not as pretty and certainly not as fun.
Kat had spent the last hour as they traveled through the maze of halls buzzing in his ear about the plan. How hopefully Ganelon and enough of his minions would be topside chasing their new friends so they could sneak in and out again and make a b-line for the subway. How if they couldn’t sneak by at any point, she’d create a diversion so Mike could get Mia out. How Ganelon had one major weakness that she knew of, and that was after he let loose his gift, that he had a moment of disorientation and this would be the moment for Mike to grab Mia and run.
What went left unsaid was that she didn’t think the first plan was going to work, and therefor she didn’t expect to get out without being detected. And further beyond the unsaid implications? That she was ready and willing to make the sacrifice and bear the brunt of Ganelon’s attack if it meant he and Mia would have a chance.
After about the tenth round of this broken record, he finally got fed up. He spun on her, crowding her back into the stonewall as he let the beast shine through his eyes.
“Mike…”
“Kat, stop. We’re all going to get out of here.”
“Of course we are,” she tried to bluff, smiling as she laid her hand on his arm. He swept it away, grabbing her shoulders and pinning her to the wall instead. Her eyes dilated, her body tensing. God he wanted to shake the stubborn out of her, instead he leaned his forehead against hers, trying to hold back the waves of helplessness he felt.
His mate didn’t believe in him. Not if she thought there was any way he was going to leave her down here.
“You think I didn’t know what you were thinking when we made love? You think I don’t realize that you have this stupid ass belief that one of is going to have to sacrifice themselves and stay down here? And, fuck, how exactly do you think that is going to work, Katrina? You think I’d just let you trade yourself for Mia? Is that it?”
“I think,” she said carefully. “That if the situation gets bad, you have the best bet of getting Mia out of here.”
“So you expect me to just leave you behind?”
No way could she hide her thoughts from him this time. The tear of pain that accompanied her reaction to his words brought the thought through loud and clear. No, she wouldn’t expect him to leave her if she still lived, but she figured he would if she were dead.
“I repeat: Over my dead body.”
Agony stripped him, her guilt, her shame scratching at the inside of his head. Which didn’t make sense. They were past this. She’d accepted their bond. She knew he would die for her. Just as he knew—as much as it pissed him off—that she’d try to do the same for him. The beast growled again, but Mike pushed it aside this time, needing to get to the source of Kat’s guilt. There was something else here. Something he’d missed or simply didn’t understand.
“What is it, Kat? What aren’t you telling me?”
She shook her head, tears streaming down her pale cheeks. “You can’t die here, Mike. I won’t let that happen.”
“You won’t let…”
She raised her haunted eyes to his. “If you die down here, then you’re trapped. He’ll have you, Mike. Your soul won’t be able to leave. Imagine an eternity alone, filled with hopelessness and despair, your only companion being the howling agony of the other souls trapped in that lifeless suspension with you.”
His grip tightened on her arms, understanding finally blooming in his mind. “And if you die, your soul would be forever stuck here, too?”
She nodded.
“Oh, God, Katrina. Why didn’t you tell me?”
***
Katrina blinked up at Mike. Why hadn’t she told him? Maybe because she’d come to know her warrior. And even now, faced with the thought of spending an eternity in hell, he was still determined to make sure that it wouldn’t be her who stayed.
But she couldn’t let that happen. Because she’d lied, at least by omission. Because she knew one more secret that she’d learned while sharing Ganelon’s bed. Contrary to popular belief, Ganelon hadn’t merely volunteered to be Lucifer’s general. The reality was Lucifer molded and made Ganelon to be the madman he was now.
When the crazed warrior had embraced anger, hatred, and revenge and stormed into hell all those centuries ago, Kat doubted the grieving Paladin, already half lost to the chaos of his own mind, had realized that upon his death his soul would be trapped here. He could not have considered the consequences of his final suicidal quest. How could he? He must have known his mate waited for him up in Heaven, and to choose a path that would trap his soul in hell? No, he must not have known. But ultimately it is what had driven him crazy. The knowledge that he had not only lost his human mate, but that he’d lost any possibility of ever being reunited with her.
And now Mike wanted her to allow for the possibility that Lucifer would turn him into another Ganelon?
Lucifer wouldn’t be content with the eternal agony of another Paladin soul, he would use Mike. Lucifer would wait until all semblance of the man Kat loved had drowned beneath the horror of that lifeless life, and then he’d resurrect Mike, just as he had Ganelon. Lucifer would bring him back once all Mike’s hope was gone, his spirit crushed, and all that remained was anger and hatred. And then Lucifer would use Mike, transforming him into one of his pets, before setting him lose to hunt down anything that he may have once held dear.
She shook her head in denial. She could not face that possible reality. With her, at least, she knew the end result. Endless torture, followed by endless agony. Resurrect and repeat. Because her death wouldn’t be the end either. When she died Ganelon, in all his twisted glory, would be pissed enough to ask Lucifer to resurrect her. Again and again and again. Just so he could spend the rest of eternity making her wish that she hadn’t ever thought to betray him.
Mike roared, dropping his hands from her arm. A sense of impotence slammed into her as he began to pace the width of the passageway. Back and forth, back and forth. Anger, impotence, anguish, denial. And around again once more. She watched him for a good five minutes, knowing they had to move, had to keep going, but unable to find the words to break the destructive cycle he was spiraling down. This was her fault. All her fault.
And then all of a sudden Mike stopped, spinning to face her. “Okay, we just have to be real careful. If we are seen, what are the chances we can pull the trick we pulled in the subway with the soul rider?”
Didn’t he think she’d thought of that? It wouldn’t work, though maybe this is what he needed right now, to talk through things logically. “It would depend on whether they recognized me. But even if they don’t, there are more here than not that will recognize what you are.”
“You sure about that?”
“It’s part of our training. Every demon offspring with a higher level of cognitive ability is taught to recognize the different types of friend and foe. The only possible confusion might be when your beast is riding you, but that means you’ll be acting on instinct, not logic.” Ergo, he’d probably lose it and blow their cover by attacking them.
“I didn’t blow it in the subway,” he pointed out, obviously following her thoughts.
And okay, he had her there.
He sighed, running his hands through his hair. “But you still don’t think it would work in the majority of cases.”
She shook her head.
He swore, spun, punching the stone wall. She flinched at the sharp slice of pain that vibrated over their bond. And though he didn’t send the thought out to her, she heard it anyway: Mike wished they’d never come down here. He wanted to go back in time, back to the school, or better yet his apartment, and fuck her so stupid that she wouldn’t have a brain cell left in her head to be thinking of sneaking into places like this. Then make love to her until all she could think of was him.
“I need to find Mia,” she told him, her voice hardly more than a whisper.
He swore, coming at her so quick she almost stumbled onto her ass. But then his arms were around her, pulling her tight into his chest, his body vibrating with all the tumbling emotions riding him, the foremost of that was regret.
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry I got you messed up in all this.”
He tipped her head up, kissing her lips so sweetly that she wanted to cry. “I’m not. If Mia is even half as amazing as you, then she is worth the risk.”
Katrina swiped away a tear before it could actually fall. “She’s ten times as amazing.”
“Tell me,” he said.
So she did, and by the time they’d gotten close enough that Mike’s neck started tingling, indicating they were getting close to others, she thought, perhaps, that Mike was at least halfway convinced that Mia was the most precious girl in the world. Because she was. She really, really was.
***
Mia had a funny feeling in her tummy, but it was a good one this time. She’d had a dream last night. A dream about mommy and a strange man with brown hair and blue eyes. It was a nice dream. A good one. And she was there with them. The man smiled at her mommy in a nice way, not like all those men at the club did.
And boy, mommy would be mad at her for having watched her dance. Mia was supposed to stay in the back room with the other girls, but sometimes the ladies got to talking and no one was talking to her, and she felt the power of her mommy’s dance, and she just had to watch.
Her mommy’s dancing wasn’t bad. But the way the men looked at her was sometimes bad. She could tell by their dark colors.
But this man wasn’t bad at all. Not only did he have the softest blue colors, but he looked at her mommy like she was the whole world. He also had those nice little lines around his blue eyes and mouth that meant he laughed a bunch. Which Mia loved.
That wasn’t even the best part of the dream though. The best part of the dream? It was when both mommy and the man had looked down at her and swung her and she’d laughed and laughed because she felt so loved.
“Mia? Where are you Mia?” A voice, the bad man’s voice, broke into the memory of her dream, shattering it.
Mia squeezed her eyes shut, trying to hold onto the perfect moment. She didn’t want to think about the bad man with his dark colors and empty eyes. Didn’t want to think about the things she’d seen him do. To his son! What type of daddy hurt their kid like that?
Not her daddy. No, she thought, maybe, if she were really good and really lucky the blue-eyed man from her dreams might want to be her daddy instead.
Please. Please. Please. Please, she prayed as she tried to think about the dream again.
“Mia. I need you to come out now. I have some news!”
He tried to make it sound exciting. Enticing, as her mommy would say, but Mia heard the other part in his voice. The part that let her know he was getting annoyed.
“Mia! Come out, Mia!”
And, yeah, as Sebastian would say: she w
asn’t born yesterday. She was smart, too. Mommy told her when someone was angry the best thing to do was stay away. And this bad man always seemed angry, even when he didn’t. Mommy would say that didn’t make sense but it did, because this man could look like he didn’t have an emotion within him and his colors could still be painted a blood red.
He took a deep breath, trying again. “Mia, I’m sorry I yelled. But I really do have news. Good news!”
And okay, she was curious. She put her eye up to the crack in the wood paneling that covered the back of the bookcase, trying to peer past the books at the bad man. He was searching the room, his eyes scanning in a way that told her he wasn’t really looking so much as looking. And sure enough, his gaze stopped right on her. Or rather the bookshelf she’d squeezed behind.
“Ah, Mia! There you are.” He moved to the side of the bookcase, reaching his arm behind it as he tried to grab hers.
Mia yelped, trying to squeeze further behind the shelf as images of the bloody table in the downstairs room flitted through her mind.
The bad man stopped trying to reach her. Pulling his arm back as his lips thinned, but then he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and when he looked back at her again he’d made all the angry red colors go away. All the other colors too. How did he do that? There were always colors. Always. Wasn’t there?
“Mia, I came to tell you that I was wrong. Your mommy isn’t dead. I found her!”
Mia’s heart skipped along, just like that rock her mommy had skimmed across the lake in Central Park last fall. All thought of colors and hiding and flight vanished. Mia scrambled out from behind the bookcase, hardly noticing the splinter she got as she did. “Is she okay?”
The man nodded. “Yes. She’s okay.”
“How far away is she?” Mia practically danced from foot to foot. She had to find her. This is why her tummy was flipping. Her mommy was alive! And near!