“There’s a chance that I’ll change if this is the way mating works for you,” she said suddenly.
He cursed. “I know, and we’ll deal with that. I’m yours, Eliana. I’ll be with you no matter what.”
She didn’t say anything and he knew he deserved that. He’d win back her trust one day, even if it took him until his last breath. She was worth that and so much more.
“Where are you going to bite me?” she asked.
“Your shoulder,” he repeated.
“I mean, in the house. Do you want me in the bedroom? Or right here? Do you need music or something?”
He smiled and rested his hand on her belly. The baby kicked him and a smile spread across his face. “We can go to the couch, Eliana. We can do this slowly and I’ll show you that you’re mine. You and little squirt here.”
“Okay, then,” she breathed and took his hand, leading him to the couch.
He sat down next to her and pulled her hair away from her face, pushing it over the opposite shoulder. He loved the slope of her neck, the curves on her body. He loved everything about her. And maybe, one day soon, she’d believe that. He never thought he’d be so lucky as to have her for his—and he’d almost lost it all.
“Will it hurt?” she asked, a little bit of fear in her voice.
“No,” he answered before licking her neck. She let out a moan, and he couldn’t help but grin in satisfaction. “My bite will feel like pure bliss.”
“Bite many women, have you?”
He licked again. “Only you, Eliana. Only ever you.” And with that, he bit down. She gasped before reaching out to hold his arm.
He wrapped her hair around his fist and kept his bite firm and still so he wouldn’t hurt her in any way. His lion roared, scratching at him, wanting out so he could have their mate in their arms.
The bond between them snapped into place, a thread of pure joy, promise, and heat. He let his fangs slide out of her skin and threw back his head, letting out a roar that spoke of his line, his duty, and his mate.
Eliana’s grip on his arm tightened and he lowered his head so he could kiss her, taking her as his.
Only he couldn’t.
Instead, her eyes widened and her body glowed a fiery red and gold. She let out a silent scream and clutched her stomach with her free hand.
“Eliana!”
Flames skittered around her body but didn’t burn him; instead, the warmth calmed his cat and he tried to figure out what to do next. His mate was changing…her body becoming who she truly was rather than the woman she thought she had to be.
And she was his.
He just prayed this wasn’t the end.
Chapter Five
Eliana wasn’t dying, but damn if it didn’t feel close to it. Her fingers burned, her chest burned, her legs burned, and if she thought about it, her hair burned. She threw her head back and screamed, begging the goddess or whoever was out there to make the pain stop.
The others told her it had hurt for a few moments when they’d first changed into their paranormal selves, and that they’d sparkled a bit before passing out or ending up with wings.
For some reason, Eliana didn’t think either of those things was happening to her.
Instead, she was on fire.
Maybe she was a dragon like Dante. That would be kind of cool because he was kickass, but she wasn’t sure she could deal with the unknowing for much longer. She put her hand on her belly once more, praying the baby would be okay. What had she been thinking risking this when she was pregnant? If the baby got hurt because of hers and Malik’s actions, she’d never forgive herself.
Then, as suddenly as the flames had appeared, they faded away and she fell against Malik’s chest, trying to catch her breath. His hands roamed her body as if checking for wounds, but she didn’t think he’d find them. The fire hadn’t been normal, and while he’d touched her when she’d burned, he hadn’t been in pain.
The fire hadn’t harmed them even though it had practically consumed her.
“Eliana? Are you okay? The baby? What do you need?” His voice got rougher with each word, and she figured it was the cat coming closer to the surface. The same thing happened with Hunter whenever he got emotional or agitated over Becca and the baby.
She let herself lean on Malik a bit longer, his scent and hard muscles a comfort. When she pushed at his chest slightly, he tightened his grip on her for a moment before letting her go.
“I’m okay,” she rasped. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. The baby kicked and seemed content. She sighed. “And the baby’s okay.” She met Malik’s gaze. “We’re okay.”
Malik cupped her face and brought his lips to hers in a gentle caress before pulling away only to lean his forehead on hers. “You scared the life out of me.”
“Good thing cats have nine lives, then,” she teased. If she didn’t laugh, didn’t try to make things okay, she’d start to freak out. She hadn’t looked down at herself yet to try and see if she could figure out what she’d turned into. Maybe she wouldn’t recognize herself, or maybe she’d be something that would scare her to death. She’d known transforming would be a possible side effect of the bite, but she’d been so wrapped up in the thought of forever with Malik that she’d gone into it without truly thinking.
She’d wanted to believe in him and herself, so she’d taken the leap.
And now, she and the baby would have to deal with the consequences.
“What am I?” she asked after Malik had snorted at her comment.
“You are mine,” he answered roughly, his forehead still on hers.
She closed her eyes, wanting to roll around in those words for a lifetime. “Malik.” Her voice was soft, pleading.
“You are a phoenix, Eliana. A beautiful, unique, and rare phoenix.”
She pulled away, her eyes wide. “Seriously? A phoenix? That’s a thing?”
He gave her a half-smile, worry evident in his gaze. “Yes, beauty, it’s a thing. A rare one, like I said, but not unheard of. I’ve only met one phoenix in my life, in fact, as they tend to stay within their own realm, but you carry the markings and scent of one.”
She blinked. “Scent?”
“Like burnt amber over spun sugar,” he explained. “The sweetness is all your own, but the amber is that of the phoenix. Other species can carry something similar, but nothing is as pure as that of a phoenix.”
She couldn’t quite process what it all meant and what would come, but she would. “Why do you seem so worried?”
He cupped her face before putting the other hand on her belly. “Because you can die, my love.”
She paused at his endearment but worried more about his words. Slowly, she said, “I think you need to tell me what you know about phoenixes and what I can do. Because we all can die, Malik, but you’re worrying me. Is the baby okay?”
He nodded. “The baby should be fine. I mean, I don’t think the transformation would have hurt him or her, but we can always go to a healer to make sure. Frankly, I think that would be a good idea anyway.” He frowned. “You’ve been going to a human doctor?”
“Uh, yeah? Why? Is that a problem?”
He cursed. “It would have been if you’d had the baby there. I know you thought I was human at the time, but since I’m not, and since you’re not anymore, giving birth might be…interesting.”
She held up a hand. “First, explain what you mean because you’re scaring me. Then we can go back to what it means that I could die as a phoenix. It’s a lot to deal with and you’re going to have to go slow since I have pregnancy brain.”
He kissed her palm before tangling his fingers with hers. “You’re beautiful.”
She rolled her eyes. “Thank you, now explain, kitty cat.”
“I don’t know what could happen exactly during birth, but you or the baby could exhibit some of your powers. The baby will be born in his or her human form, so no worries on a litter or anything, but they could roar instead of cry for their fir
st sound.”
She coughed. “Litter? Roar?” Apparently, she could only speak in one-word sentences.
“You’re only having one for now, beauty,” Malik soothed. “The next time you get pregnant since we’ll be mated, there’s a chance for multiples. It’s how cats work.”
She put her hands over her belly, pulling her hand from Malik’s. “Let’s just deal with this one first.”
“As for a roar, yes, the baby could roar after taking its first breath. Between that and the fact that you could end up removing your glamour and reveal your true form while in pain and under duress…”
She froze. She’d been very careful not to look down at her arms or to the side to see her reflection in the mirror. She hadn’t wanted to see what she was until Malik told her she was safe…but now…now she wasn’t so sure that was a good idea.
“What do you mean glamour? Malik?” Fear laced her voice and her mate—her mate—leaned forward to kiss her softly.
“I’ll teach you, beauty. You’re a phoenix. Stand up and look in the mirror and I’ll explain what that means and what you can expect. At least, what I know. We’ll go to the phoenix realm as soon as we can so you can learn more about your people. I promise you, no matter what, you’ll never be alone in this.”
Eliana took a deep breath, knowing she’d had to trust him in order to mate with him, so she could trust him now. It wasn’t easy, but nothing worth fighting for ever was. She stood on shaky legs, grateful Malik stood at her side, keeping her on her feet. The mirror to the side of the bookshelf on the wall was a full standing mirror that she used to make sure her outfits matched before she ran out of the house for one thing or another. She’d never thought to one day use it to see what she looked like as a phoenix, rather than as a human.
She didn’t look too different, but she wasn’t the same Eliana she’d been before. The first thing that caught her eye was Malik’s mark on her shoulder. It didn’t hurt, but she could feel the warmth there, the promise of something more. Her hand reached up to hover over it, and Malik let out a satisfied growl.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you growling and supposedly roaring,” she said dryly.
“Get used to it. I tend to growl a lot.” He let out another growl, this one deeper. “And I’ve never seen anything as sexy as my mark on you.” He leaned down and licked over it, sending delicious shivers down her body. “I plan to mark you again and again when we’re alone and you’re ready. Marks just for you and me.”
She closed her eyes and let out a groan. This wasn’t the time for that kind of talk, but damn if she didn’t want to hear more. She opened her eyes once more, this time taking in the fact that she was a new Eliana, not the one she’d been before.
Her skin glowed with an incandescent light that should have scared her, but instead, spoke of a power she would one day learn to harness and nurture. New tattoos inked her forearms, and she couldn’t help but run her fingers down them.
She gasped when she felt not fresh ink, but feathers. “Malik?” she asked, her voice breaking. “Are these…feathers?”
He wrapped his arms around her and put his hand over hers. “Not exactly. It’s more like a brand of your history, much like the others in your group who have changed into paranormals with a type of ink. It feels like feathers because of who you are, but it’s still ink. Skin. If not for the glow, you could walk around in the human realm with that ink showing and no one would be the wiser.”
She studied her new brightly colored ink and couldn’t help but pet it over and over. “My history?” she asked, aware she needed to keep asking questions.
“Each feather is your personal history, your family history…and your curse.”
Her head shot up. “Curse?” she gasped. “Like Amara? I’m cursed?”
He shook his head before turning her away from her reflection and into his arms. “Not exactly. It’s more of an additional…burden, for lack of a better word, your line carries.” He frowned as he studied the marks. “I don’t know what each means because that is something from your realm. In fact, I don’t know if I’ve ever heard of a phoenix mating outside the realm before.”
He looked up and into her gaze. “We will figure it out, beauty.”
“But you said I could die.”
He nodded. “Yes, but you can come back,” he whispered. “That’s the thing about phoenixes, they can come back. Your curse is what can kill you in truth.”
She took a staggered step back, her hands over her belly. “I…I can’t breathe.” Her lungs seized and she couldn’t get in enough air. “I…what happens if I’m killed but I come back? How does that work? Malik?”
He crushed her to his body and she grabbed onto him like a lifeline. “We’ll figure it out. It’s going to be okay. I promise you. You’re not alone, Eliana. Never again. Do you hear me? You’re not alone.”
She leaned in to him, her belly making it difficult, but she didn’t care. The baby kicked again, apparently wanting to be near Malik, as well. Everything had changed so quickly, and she felt like she kept running to keep up and couldn’t quite do it.
Malik ran his hand through her hair and murmured in her ear, his warm breath soothing her as much as the words themselves.
“I thought I’d turn into a witch or maybe something that I’ve already met through the group. I figured we’d exhausted the amount of paranormals out there and I wouldn’t have to go through anything too new or scary.” She closed her eyes. “Boy, was I wrong.”
Malik pulled back slightly to look into her eyes. “I think the Conclave wanted to see what each of you could turn into. I don’t think they would have liked repeats.”
Her eyes widened and she held back a curse. “I didn’t even think about that. Damn it. Why didn’t I think about that?”
“Because you’re having a baby and we’re dealing with the fact that I left because I was an idiot. You don’t have to think about everything. That’s what a mating is for. I can help you think.”
She didn’t narrow her eyes at his choice of words but it was close. Hopefully, the man would realize that he didn’t have think for her but with her. One problem at a time, though, and since she couldn’t quite figure out which one to wade through first, she figured she’d go with something out of the box.
“Will you shift for me?” she asked quietly.
He stiffened for a moment before pulling back to look at her. “You want me to shift?”
She nodded. “I…I can’t think about everything at once or I’ll stress myself out more than I already am. So can you shift for me? Show me what you look like as a lion? I know it doesn’t make any sense, but maybe if I see you in your other form, it will make this all a bit more real. Because, frankly, this feels more like a dream than anything else right now.”
He ran his thumbs over her cheekbones and nodded. “I can do that. Then I’ll show you how to glamour yourself so you can leave the house and figure out the next steps. How does that sound?”
She smiled softly. “I think that sounds like a perfect plan.”
Malik let out a breath. “Good, because I’m kind of freaking out, too.” He smiled sheepishly. “It’s been a long day.”
She snorted. “Will you stay?” she asked suddenly. “After you shift back, will you stay? We can figure out the next step in the morning.” She was afraid if he left, he might not come back, but she wasn’t sure that was all of it. She loved this man and wanted him with her. He was her mate now, and that made her feel so many emotions she couldn’t quite quantify them. This man, this lion, was hers, and because she’d taken that leap, she had to traverse the world and this new path at his side, rather than worrying if he’d leave her once more. Because if she didn’t do that, there would be no true happiness in this mating.
He was hers, and he was the father of her unborn child. No matter what happened next, she wouldn’t be alone in dealing with it. She’d find out what it meant to be a phoenix and what the curse meant. She would figure out her
powers and how to protect her child in a world where things weren’t just light and dark, but also grey and far wider than anything she’d known before. She’d find a way to fit into Malik’s life and realm. He would be King, he’d said, and she knew he couldn’t walk away from that. He’d told her he had issues with his family and that his father was dying and there was only so long he could stay away from that. He’d left before for a reason, and now she would have to leave with him because there was no way she could stay away again.
Her life had changed in an instant with the lightning, and now it had changed once again. She was mate to Malik and soon to be a mother. She was a phoenix and an artist. She was still Eliana, but never only Eliana.
And because all of that was too much to deal with after a long and emotional day—especially since she was pregnant—she wanted to see Malik shift into a lion and back again before she passed out from exhaustion.
One thing at a time, she reminded herself. If she just did one thing at a time, she could make it. Because once the baby came, there wouldn’t be another option.
Malik ran his thumb over her cheek. “Ready, beauty?”
She loved that he called her that. He hadn’t called her that before, only her name. Now it was though he was finding small ways to be close to her since he didn’t have to hold back as much as he had before. Or maybe it was just her putting too much emphasis on a word. Either way, he was hers and he’d have to fight her if he ever wanted her to let him go.
“I’m ready.”
Malik grinned and took a step back. “I can shift with my clothes on and have them come back because of my royal line. The baby, once he or she learns to shift and gains enough power, should be the same. But we might have a naked baby crawling around for a bit.”
She grinned at the idea, even if her mind whirled. It was scary enough to think she would have a baby, now that she was apparently having a cub, it just made it that much more monumental.
“When can lions shift for the first time?”
Malik frowned. “Soon after birth. I know I shifted about an hour after birth because I apparently wanted to curl up and nap, but it’s different for each baby.”
Prowled Darkness (Dante's Circle Book 7) Page 5