by Monica James
He proudly pulls up his pants. “Rebecca has me on some vegan diet. The food may be hideous, but I’ve never felt better. I’ve never had more energy.” When he concludes his sentence with an insinuating wink, I swallow my distaste with a strained smile.
I don’t have the energy to make small talk when it comes to that piranha. “So what can I do for you?” I ask, taking a seat while gesturing to the chair in front of me.
“That’s what I like about you, Dixon; you’re not one for small talk.”
Susanna knocks before entering with our coffees. Placing them on my desk, she’s out the door a moment later.
As Chad reaches for his, he says, “I presume you’ve heard the unfortunate news about Dr. Rubin Gold?”
“No, I have not.” That lucky bastard was the winner of this year’s Gerald Harriet Award. He should be celebrating with cheap wine and cheaper women.
Chad looks awfully uncomfortable as he reveals, “Well, he was caught in a…compromising position in Mexico a few days after the award ceremony.”
“Oh?” My interest is piqued.
“Yes. His blatant use of illicit drugs, providing alcohol to a minor, and inappropriate dealings with a…goat, has given us no other choice but to strip him of the award and title.”
I raise a brow. A goat? And I thought I had issues. “So what now?” I ask.
“The medical board has decided, to save face, we will pretend like the first event never took place. We’re organizing a redo.”
How typical.
“And besides, who doesn’t like dressing up and having a drink or two with colleagues?”
Indeed.
I still have no idea why he’s telling me this, so I play along. “Well, that’s great news. If I can be of any assistance, please let me know.”
Sipping his dishwater, he replies, “Actually, you can. That’s why I’m here.”
I lean forward, indicating I’m listening.
“I would like to nominate you as a candidate for the award.”
“Really?” I conceal my excitement because surely there’s a catch.
He nods, his jaw firm. “Yes. I find your methods quite ingenious. You remind me of me at your age. I really think you’re in with a good chance of winning. Your research has been unlike any of its kind. I was going to nominate you for next year’s award; however, with this opportunity arising, I couldn’t resist. You’ll be up against five other doctors.”
I stay silent, unsure of what to say. I can’t detect a hidden undertone, and Chad looks rather sincere. This is un-fucking-believable.
When Chad initially came to me with the suggestion of possibly nominating me for next year’s award, I was beyond appreciative, but now, I’m ecstatic. This is everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I feel no sympathy for Dr. Gold because his lewdness has just scored me my golden ticket.
“Thank you, Chad.”
“The pleasure is all mine, Dixon. I’ll be in touch once a date has been set. In the meantime, please keep your nose clean. Our industry doesn’t need any more bad press.”
I try and mask my tension. “Clean as a whistle,” I reply, hoping he doesn’t read my bullshit. Yes, my personal dealings don’t involve goats, but they do involve a bitch. If anyone got wind of my immoral actions, I’d be ruined. My thoughts wander to how imperative it is now to keep Juliet’s silence.
Chad’s cell ringing gives me the breathing space I need. He apologizes before answering it. “Oh, darling, I’m just with Dixon. Can I call you back?”
It’s like the universe is taunting me with what can be taken away from me in a blink of an eye because his “darling” is just another nail in my coffin.
He wraps up the conversation and stands. “I’d best be off. I’ll speak to you soon.”
Shaking hands, I try and remain composed. “Most certainly. Thank you again, Chad. This is truly an honor.”
“Not a problem. We should catch up for drinks one evening. I’m sure Rebecca would love to see your lovely other half again.”
Yes, I’m sure she would. “Sounds delightful. I’ll check my schedule and get back to you.”
“Splendid.” With that, he exits my office, while I let out a pent-up breath of relief.
This is the best news a doctor could ever receive. The things winning this award could do for my career are mindboggling, but with my dirty little secrets looming over my head, winning this award could also ruin my career. Or more accurately, Juliet could ruin my career. I can pretend all I want that her spilling the beans about my immorality to the board means nothing to me, but being presented this life-changing option just cements that it does.
Opening my desk drawer, I pull out the letter to Madison. This is the first step to claiming back my life. As I address the envelope to her, I realize it’s the second step that has my hand wavering. The step which was inevitable from the day I met Ms. Juliet Harte.
9
Ravenous
DIXON
Giving my letter of hope one last look, I place it in the letterbox. My fate is now in Madison’s hands. However, the huge apartment block looming behind me reminds me that my fate is also in somebody else’s hands.
Earlier today, I did something I thought I’d never do again—I texted Juliet. The message was simple enough.
We need to talk.
Her response, Come over at 7. Looking down at my watch, I see that it’s now 7:05. Time to face the music.
The elevator ride is as comfortable as one can imagine seeing a scorned ex to be. What makes matters worse, however, is that that ex lives in the same building as your newest ex. This entire situation is grating on my already raw nerves.
I knock at Juliet’s door, half expecting her to answer it nude. Thankfully, she doesn’t. “Hello, Dixon. Please, won’t you come in?” She steps aside, welcoming me into the lair of doom.
I enter, swallowing down the revolting memories of all the nasties I did to her on that wall, that couch, that coffee table, that Persian rug, and God forbid, that antique ornament.
“Can I offer you a drink?”
The door closing behind me feels like a death sentence, but I push down my disgust and nod. “Scotch if you’ve got it.”
“Of course. Please, take a seat.” She gestures to the leather sofa. I blanch, hoping she’s had it reupholstered.
As she’s busying herself in the kitchen, I unfasten my tie because it’s hard enough to breathe as it is. I remind myself I’m doing this for the greater good. I can only hope that good doesn’t lead me to sin.
“Here you go.” She steps into the room, two drinks in hand. I gratefully accept mine, ensuring our fingers don’t touch.
“So, what can I do for you, Dixon? You being here is quite a surprise. I’m intrigued.” She’s keeping her distance as she sits on the sofa opposite me. She crosses her legs, giving me her full attention.
“Dr. Chad Turner paid me a visit today. I believe you met his fiancée in Boston?” I watch her closely over the rim on my glass.
She nods, a secretive smile pulling at her ruby lips.
“Well, it seems my profession is filled with many fucked-up individuals, but hey, thanks to one disturbed doctor’s fondness toward farm animals, I’m now top nominee to win the Gerald Harriet Award.”
Juliet’s eyes widen, and she appears…happy for me. “That’s great news. Congratulations. No one deserves it more than you do.”
“Thank you. It really is an honor, and I won’t lie, I want to win.” Taking a sip of scotch, I begin to put into practice why I’m really here. “However, you have the power to break me, Juliet, and I don’t like it. You’ve shown you’re not going to back down, so I’ve come here asking for your exact terms. If I agree to them, then you must swear to never divulge what went on between us to anyone. And by anyone, I also mean Madison.”
When she sits up tall, I know I have her attention. “You know what I want.”
I shake my head, feeling my confidence spike. “No, I don’t. Apart from s
ome ambiguous clues, I have no idea what exactly you propose. You haven’t told anyone about us, which has me wondering what exactly it is you want. You claim you just want me around for a fuck, but then you take me shopping for baby clothes? What are you playing at?
“The fact you’re still engaged to that lowlife motherfucker reveals you’re happy to play along with the pretense that the baby is his. But I’m assuming his cock doesn’t satisfy your ravenous appetite. I mean, what other reason are you blackmailing me for?”
Juliet’s breathing begins to increase. The low neckline of her peach dress displays her swelling breasts, betraying her excitement. Just like I knew they would.
“I-I ...” she falters, licking her dry lips quickly.
“C’mon, Juliet. I know what that venomous mouth is capable of. Tell me.” Coolly placing my glass onto the coffee table, I rise and walk over to her. As she bows back into the cushions, watching me from underneath those long lashes, I make no attempt to sit. I stand, domineering over her, just the way I know she likes it.
“I want to fuck you,” she finally reveals, but her voice is small and shaky.
Folding my arms across my chest, I pin her with my stare. “That’s not going to happen.”
“Then we have no deal,” she’s quick to reply, shooting upright angrily.
“Sshh,” I condescendingly hush her. Leaning forward, I encage her with my arms as I place them on either side of her head. She falls back against the leather, her harsh breathing fanning my cheeks. “But…I didn’t say I won’t fuck you.”
A pink hue overtakes her features, and for once, it’s a sight I’m pleased to see.
“Stand up,” I command, leveling my eyes with hers. I slowly release her, and coolly sit on the sofa beside her.
For a moment, she looks lost and unsure; if I didn’t know better I would feel sorry for her. But I know what lies beneath the surface of this conniving, scheming bitch.
There is no way in hell that I will touch this woman the way she wants me to. But I’m afraid I’ll have to get my hands a little dirty if I want her to succumb to what I have planned.
I did some soul-searching today and after much thought I realized that, to win this game, I’ll be forced to take a page out of Juliet’s book and lie, cheat, and steal. It’s the only way I can get what I want. It’s the only way she’ll leave me alone. And it’s the only way I can keep Madison in my life because in this circumstance, the truth will not set me free. I’ve made my decision and there’s no turning back.
This is my plan B.
“This innocent act is growing old, Juliet,” I say, lounging back into the sofa as I turn to look at her. “We both know you don’t have an innocent bone in that hot little body of yours.” I actually feel nauseous as the lie passes my lips, but I press on, knowing what I’ll gain once this is done.
My words have the exact effect I was hoping for. “Not anymore. I’m fat. This baby weight is turning me into a whale.” She pouts and the look is not at all attractive.
But I fake horror. “Don’t be absurd. You still look good enough to—” I lick my upper lip “—eat. Speaking of…don’t make me repeat myself.” I try to keep my voice low and seductive, hoping my allure will work.
It does.
She slowly rises, nervously running her hands down her dress as she stands before me. This is the first time I’ve ever seen Juliet appear bashful and not jump at the opportunity to get nude. But that’s about to change.
“Strip.” I casually cross my ankle over my knee as I lean back to get comfortable.
Her trembling fingers reveal she’s tense, but she does as I command. Lifting the loose-fitting garment over her head, she drops it to the floor. It lands with a soft thud by her painted toes. Gathering my wits, I start my dance with the devil.
Raking my gaze up her body, I ensure I take my time. However, I’m not savoring the sight, but rather, encouraging myself to go on. Even though I know this is for the greater good, I still want to pluck my eyeballs out as I feel like I’m betraying Maddy by looking at someone that isn’t her.
When I arrive at the junction of her thighs, I press down the heavy memories of when that was my favorite place in the world. She shuffles under my watch when my gaze falls to her small belly. Seeing it in the flesh makes this all real, but I can’t stop, not now. Her fingers suddenly flutter over her stomach, drawing my attention to the fact she doesn’t like to be bare.
“See? I told you. I’m hideous. My body isn’t how you remember it. That’s why you like her, isn’t it? She’s young and thin with perfect skin, not a bloated, blotchy pregnant buffalo like me. I’m losing my looks. This was a bad idea.” Just as she bends down to pick up her dress, I jump up to stop her.
“Nonsense.” She looks up, watching me with uncertainty in her eyes. “You’re still incredibly beautiful, Juliet. Your body has just filled out, and that’s not a bad thing.” I approach her slowly, steadying my racing nerves. Pausing in front of her, I force myself to touch her voluntarily without vomiting.
Stroking her cheek, I smile. “Surely Dylan—” I try my best to keep smiling “—tells you that every day?”
This idea came to me thanks to Dylan’s transparent aversion toward Juliet. At least one good thing came from that day.
She leans into my touch. “No, he doesn’t. He rarely touches me now. He says he doesn’t want to hurt the baby, but I know he’s lying. I know it’s because I’m fat.”
Oh, you superficial, blind twit. He doesn’t want to touch you because he clearly wants to touch someone else.
That thought spurs me on.
“Well, you know what?” I thumb her pouty bottom lip. “That’s his loss. I think those curves accentuate all your good bits.” I deliberately drop my gaze to her enormous tits.
“You think?” she hesitantly asks, the hope clear in her tone.
Taking a deep breath, I lie through my teeth. “Yes, I do. You are so beautiful. A goddess. You always have been. I have been a fool to deny you.” Unable to look at her a second longer, I walk behind her as I can deal with her back better than I can her front. Standing inches away from her, I will my fingers to move and begin a slow descent over her shoulders and down her arms. Her skin instantly prickles with the contact, while my gut contracts at what I’m being driven to do.
“That feels good,” she hums, her words caked in pleasure.
I’m glad someone is having a good time. But I press on. “How does it make you feel?”
“Happy.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s nice to feel wanted.”
“And you feel unwanted?”
“Yes.”
“Why do you think that is?”
This is a dangerous game I’m playing, but it’s the only way I can win. By setting up the illusion that she’s won, she’ll inadvertently let her guard down and, just like Hunter said, I’ll be able to use my psychobabble bullshit to break her down.
Hunter’s advice has proven to be most valuable. The more I thought on it the more I realized he was right. I’m going to do something I’ve not yet done where Juliet is concerned. I’m going to use the head on my shoulders, rather than the head between my legs to dig my way out of the mess I’ve made. I’m going to break down the lioness and turn her into a helpless little kitten. I plan on pulling back the layers of who she really is—something I should have done the first moment I met her. And when I do…then, I’ll break her.
“Because everyone puts her first,” she hisses angrily.
“Who?” I whisper.
“You know who.” She groans when I trace over the racing pulse in her neck. I need to reel her back in.
“Why do you think that is?”
“Because she’s fucking perfect,” she spits, while I refrain from strangling her. “She’s taken my father, my fiancé, and now you away from me.”
I can feel I’m losing her, so with no other choice I close my eyes, swallow down my disgust, and draw the warm flesh at the side o
f her neck into my mouth. I gag on her taste and smell, but I breathe through it, remembering why I’m here.
It’s a soft tug, but it’s enough. I pull away, discreetly wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “I’m here, aren’t I?” I present, while she sleepily nods.
“Yeah, you are.”
Holding back my sigh of relief, I go on with my scheme. “So, can we come to an agreement then? Will you promise to keep our secret? You know what will happen if you tell anyone, don’t you?”
She nods again.
“What will happen?” I ask, ensuring my plan has worked.
“You’ll get into trouble.”
“And?” I prompt, breathing warm air onto her arched neck.
“And this will stop between us.”
I’ve completely manipulated her, and it’s worked. Telling someone something they need to hear can influence them into doing anything. And for someone as superficial as Juliet, making her feel wanted and needed is the key to her surrender.
“And you don’t want that, do you?”
When she remains silent, I bite down on my tongue before leaning forward and capturing her earlobe between my teeth.
She groans and tosses her head back. “No.”
“Good girl. You always knew how to please me.”
As inconspicuously as I can, I slip my hand into my inner jacket pocket and pull out a piece of paper and pen. “You must understand, I need something more than just your word. I mean, you did say on numerous occasions you’d destroy me. All I need is just your signature here.” I run my fingertips up and down her arm while slyly placing the ballpoint between her slack fingers. Holding the paper in my other hand, I wrap my fingers around her wrist, coaxing her to sign.
“What is it?” she asks, her head moving slightly to look at what I’m holding.
“Just something to make me feel better. And you want me to feel good, right? Otherwise, I can’t make you feel good.” I sense her retreat so I act fast. With one regretful movement, I drive my hips forward, rubbing myself into her ass.
It works.
She moans and quickly signs my…NDA. The Non-Disclosure Agreement my attorney drew up that states if she tells anyone about us, I’ll have the power to ruin her. I’m surprised she signed without reading it first. I guess my air of seduction worked. Or more to the point, playing on her weaknesses worked like a charm.