“What the hell are you talking about, Boomer?” He was too close to touching on the truth, and it pissed me off. “I was just telling her how she’d left her friend in a bad way, and she took it wrong. We were yelling, sure, but it wasn’t any more than that. I didn’t even know her. Still really don’t.”
Boomer guffawed. “The hell. You don’t need to know someone to feel the pull. I’m not saying anything about now, but that day, right here in this room, you were looking at that girl the same way I look at the cherry pie down at Kenny’s.”
“You’re crazier than they are.” I stuck my hands deep down in my pockets. “Are you going to give me a bag or not? Because if you’re just going to stand here and tease me, I may as well go home.”
He waved a hand. “Calm down, calm down. I’m going to get you covered.” He opened up a desk drawer and dug around for a minute and then came up with an old crankshaft. “Will this do?”
I nodded, grateful. “Yeah, that’s perfect. Thanks, Boomer.”
“Any time, boy. And if things get bad with all them women, just give me a call and I’ll come rescue you.” He came around the counter and slapped a hand on my shoulder. “Four daughters and a wife, remember? I feel your pain.”
I grinned. I’d forgotten that Boomer would definitely be the one who’d understand. “Thanks, man.”
“I got your back. Now get on out of here so I can close up, or the wife’ll be calling to see if I’m dead.”
I waved and headed back to my truck. Tossing the bag onto the passenger seat, I started up and headed out of town. The testosterone infusion had done its job, and I was feeling more relaxed than I had in weeks. I thought of Boomer’s words about Meghan. He was crazy. Ridiculous. I didn’t look at her any particular way. And if I did, what did it matter? It didn’t mean a damn thing.
I wasn’t one of those guys who needed drama as a side dish to women. The relationships I’d had in the last few years were low-key, quiet and kept far away from my family. The last had ended amiably back in the spring when Jaycee Mathers had decided to move to Nashville for a new job. Since then, with the planting and upkeep on the farm, I hadn’t had time to get involved with anyone else. Truth to tell, I didn’t miss it.
It was full on dark by the time I got back to the farm. Ali had left a light on in the kitchen for me, but I didn’t go in the back door. I rounded the house, climbed the front porch and dropped into the old wicker chair, setting the two paper bags on the floor and stretching my legs out in front of me.
“Hi.”
The voice came from the dark corner, making me jump a mile. At the same time, I heard the squeak of the swing that hung there. As my eyes adjusted, I could just make out Meghan’s shape, curled in the corner of the swaying bench.
“God, you about gave me a heart attack. What the hell are you doing out here?”
She sighed, just a breath that carried to me across the night air. “Ali wanted to get Bridget to bed early. She’s lying down with her upstairs, but I think she might have fallen asleep, too. It’s such a pretty night. I just wanted to come out for a little air.” She unfurled her body, letting her feet hit the floor. “I’ll go back in now and let you have your privacy.”
“No, don’t go in.” I spoke without thinking about it. “You were here first.” I paused for a minute, and then added, “Do you want me to leave?”
She shook her head, and the chains on the swing groaned again as she resettled herself. “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind company.”
“Guess it’s strange for you here, not having a ton of people around all the time. Do you miss it?”
She laughed and stretched her arms over her head, dropping one arm along the back of the bench. “You seem to have a skewed sense of what my life in Savannah is like. I live in an apartment with Laura, not in a crazy dorm. We’re pretty quiet. She’s practically engaged, and we both work hard at school. We’re not exactly party girls.”
“Do you date?” I wasn’t sure why I asked the question or if I even wanted the answer.
She hesitated. “I do. Probably more than I should.” She leaned her head back and stared up at the velvet sky. “Laura says I leave a trail of broken hearts in my wake.”
“I bet you do.” I kept all condemnation out of my voice.
“I don’t know why. I just ...” Her finger came up and traced a link of the chain that suspended the swing. “I don’t mean to do it. I meet someone, and we go out, have some fun, and then, I don’t know. I guess it stops being fun, and I don’t want it anymore. So I end it.” She shrugged. “Sometimes it’s okay, and we stay friends. Other times, not so much.”
“Maybe you just haven’t found the right one.” What the hell was I saying? I must’ve been picking up more from their Lifetime movies than I’d realized.
Meghan laughed. “You sound like Laura. She swears I’m going to meet some guy, and he’ll turn out to be the one I’ve been waiting for. But then, she can afford to be a romantic. She’s been with the same guy forever, and they’re perfect together.” She glanced over at me. “What about you? Do you date?”
I shifted, uncomfortable. “Not really. Not like you’re thinking. I have ... friends who are women, though.”
“Ah.” There was a hint of amusement in her tone. “Do those friendships have benefits?”
There was something about the dark that made it easier to talk. “Some of them. I don’t have time for the kind of relationship where there are, uh, expectations. Right now, my priorities are my family and this farm. Ali and Bridget are the most important things in my life. And I’ve been working to keep this farm together for twelve years. I can’t afford to let up now.”
“Ali told me about your mom and dad. I’m sorry.” The soft vulnerability in her voice made me want to fold her into my arms and offer the same comfort she was expressing. I laced my fingers over my stomach to keep from moving.
“Yeah. I guess you know something about that.”
She shrugged. “A little, but not both parents at once. I still have my mom. I can’t imagine being eighteen and not only being completely on your own, but having to take care of your little sister, too.”
“It was what I had to do.” I smiled a little, thinking about my parents. “You know, the only saving grace is that I’m positive they were absolutely happy to the end. They’d gone away for their twentieth wedding anniversary, taken a trip to Gatlinburg, and they were on their way back when the accident happened. They were still so much in love, you know? They still did the stuff that makes kids pretend to be grossed out, even when they’re happy their parents do it.”
“My mom and dad were the same. They’d been together since they were kids.” She paused, and then added, “And I guess my mom and Uncle Logan are like that, too. When Mom walks into the room, Uncle Logan gets this look on his face ... like he can’t believe how lucky he is.”
“That’s your stepfather?”
She made a face. “I guess so. I never think of him like that. He’s still Uncle Logan, only now he lives with Mom.”
“Still. I never had to deal with that. I wouldn’t want to see my mother with someone else, even with someone I like.”
For a few minutes, nothing broke the silence but the creak of the swing as Meghan swayed back and forth on it. When the breeze blew across the porch, I could smell her unique scent, that musky undertone with just a hint of orange. Sitting on that bench swing, curled up with her head tilted to the side, she made such a tempting picture that I had to grip the arms of my chair to keep from getting up and joining her.
And then what would I do, I wondered. I’d pull her toward me, use my finger to lift her chin and I’d kiss her. I remembered the feel of her softness against my chest, and I wanted it again. I wanted to kiss her until her eyes went hazy and her lips were swollen.
I was just about to lose the battle with myself when she spoke, shattering my preoccupation.
“The farm—that’s why you don’t really date, right? Because you feel responsibl
e for what your parents left you?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” My voice was rough with desire, and I cleared my throat. “It’s a full time job, and then some. But I owe it to my parents, and to Ali and Bridget, too, to make sure it stays with us. I can’t lose it.”
“And you think this is what your parents would want? They’d want you to sacrifice your life to hold onto the land?”
“They gave up the right to have an opinion on the subject when they died and left me.” I knew my words were harsh, but I trusted that Meghan would understand what I meant. “At one point ... maybe I thought things might be different. After Ali got married and moved out, I considered leasing more of the farm and renting the house. Trying something different. I was in college then—”
“You went to college?” She sounded amazed.
“Yeah, why the shock? Because you figured me for a dumb country farmer?”
“No.” Meghan shook her head emphatically. “Not at all. I just figured you never got the chance. Ali said your parents died right before your high school graduation.”
“I went to night school, and I took some courses online. Took me a little longer, but I got a degree in business.”
“Not agriculture?”
I laughed and crossed one leg over the other. “No, why would I study something I already knew? I live and breathe agriculture. The Guild suggested business, and they were right.”
“The Guild? What’s that?” She stretched one leg onto the bench, flexing her bare foot. Her shorts had ridden up, and I could see the top of her thigh, the fascinating ridge of tendon that disappeared into the denim of her pants.
Suddenly my chair was just a little less comfortable. I hoped she couldn’t see how the zipper of my jeans was bulging more than normal.
“Uh, the Guild? It’s a group of business owners in town. They’ve been supporting each other, helping newcomers and contributing to the community for years. When my parents died, they jumped in to help me keep the farm. I couldn’t have done it without them.”
“Oh, I see. That’s like my uncle Matt. He and the rest of the posse kind of take care of Crystal Cove. Whenever someone’s having a hard time or just needs a little help, they make it happen.”
“Yeah, that sounds like the Guild. What’s the posse?”
She smiled, her eyes lighting up. “That’s what my dad’s friends call themselves. It was my father, my uncle Eric and a group of guys they’ve known from the time they were all little boys. They’ve been part of my life since I was born.”
“Feels good when people have your back.” I sat forward and leaned an elbow on my knee. “Really is a pretty night.”
“It is. Reminds me of the nights growing up when I used to sit out on the deck at the Tide, with my family and a bunch of friends. The grown-ups would talk, and we kids would play games. Sometimes my dad would bring out a grill, and we’d toast marshmallows. Those were happy times.” Her eyes were faraway, staring into a distance I couldn’t see.
“I never thanked you.” It was an abrupt change of subject, and she jerked her gaze to my face, confused. “For helping with the onions, I mean. You didn’t have to do it, but you stepped up. I appreciate it.”
“Really?” She smiled, and her whole face lit up with it. “You do?”
I smiled back at her. “Yeah, really.”
“Does this mean we’re friends?” She sat up, too and used her feet to stop the swing from swaying. The moonlight shone on her hair, and her eyes were luminous.
I considered for a minute and then nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“Okay. That makes me happy.” She brushed her hair back behind her ear. “I don’t expect everyone to like me, but you matter. I’m going to be here for the rest of the summer, and I’d hate to live here with someone who couldn’t stand me.”
“It’s never been that I couldn’t stand you, Meghan. It’s just ...” I couldn’t explain how I felt without saying something I knew I’d regret, opening a door I couldn’t afford to walk through. “Maybe it’s that you remind me of myself when I was your age.”
“Oh, because you’re so much older than me now.” She was teasing, and one side of my mouth lifted in response.
“I am. Too old for you.”
“That’s a matter of opinion, and I don’t agree with yours. Besides, why would I remind you of yourself? You were always so responsible.”
“On the outside, I was. But inside ... and sometimes the outside, too, on Saturday nights ... I was kind of wild. I raised my share of Cane, like Ali would say.”
“You know, that makes me like you even better.” Meghan stood and stretched her arms high over her head. Without missing a beat, she bent at the waist and leaned to touch the tops of her feet. I watched, my mouth hanging open, as the neck of her shirt sagged. I could see right down the front, to the swell of her breasts over the cups of a black bra and the flat of her stomach. The denim shorts tightened over her pert little ass, and again I was having a hard time sitting still.
She straightened and caught me staring. Taking a step forward, she stood about an inch away from my knees, close enough for me to touch if I just reached one hand forward.
“I’m glad we’re friends now, Sam.” She spoke softly, and the whisper caressed my face. “You know, we could be the kind of friends who ... well, your kind of friends. No complications. No drama. Just fun and ...” She exhaled and ran a hand over her curls, bunching them at the back of her neck. “Maybe letting off a little steam.”
All I had to do was reach up and put my hand to her waist, tug her forward, and I knew she’d melt into me. It was what we both wanted, I knew, but it was what might happen after that that kept me from moving.
“Meghan, what I said before stands. I’m too old for you. And you’re a guest in my home, so I’m not going to take advantage of you. That wouldn’t be right.”
“It’s not taking advantage if I offer. If I want it, too. I’m not asking you for a commitment here, Sam. I’m just saying, we could give each other what we both need.”
I had to get away, now, or I was going to give in. Her scent filled me, and she was so close that I could feel heat coming off her body in waves. I clenched my teeth together and stood up, moving her back gently with my hands on her upper arms.
“I’m going inside now, before I do something that you and I would both end up regretting. I’ll be your friend, Meghan. But that’s all I can do.”
I released her arms and turned to go back inside. As the screen door closed quietly behind me, I cursed myself as a fool and stomped upstairs toward a cold shower that had nothing to do with the air temperature.
I LAY IN BED awake for a very long time that night, reliving every minute from the conversation on the porch. I’d been startled when Sam had appeared around the corner of the house and climbed the steps to the porch. I knew he hadn’t seen me; if he had, he wouldn’t have sat down. For a few minutes, I was tempted to keep quiet and just watch him. There was a definite allure to his face when he was relaxed, not on alert as he usually was around me.
But I was curled up on the hanging bench swing, and I knew it was only a matter of time before a twitch of my body or the movement of my breath made the chain squeak. And then he’d be angry at my silence. I wouldn’t be able to blame him for that, since it’d be more than a little creepy-stalkerish to sit in the dark watching him.
I fully expected him to let me go inside without saying anything when I offered, but he didn’t. And whether it was the dark, the cool of the evening breeze or something I didn’t know about, he was more open and talkative than he’d ever been around me.
When he’d said my name ... Meghan, what I said before stands ... I couldn’t breathe for a moment. He’d never said my name before. He talked to me, he talked about me, he talked around me, but he’d never addressed me directly that way. I was so taken by that fact that I nearly missed what he said afterward. I’m too old for you.
I didn’t understand his preoccupation with our age di
fference. If he didn’t like me, fine. If he could say, honestly, that he wasn’t attracted me, that he felt nothing, I’d leave him alone and accept his offer of friendship. But he never said that. I could feel his want when we were close; it was a nearly tangible thing, more than just a reflection of my own desire. Tonight, he’d been on the verge of giving in.
And yet, I had to admit that I wanted it to be more than him giving in to me. I didn’t want to be the seducer. I’d been there before, more times than I chose to remember. I always regretted it, particularly when I was forced to end the relationship, as inevitably I did.
I must have dozed off at some point, because when I opened my eyes again, the sky outside my window was painted in breathtaking shades of pink and purple. I rubbed the grit out of my eyes and stood to pull back the curtains. The wide blue expanse beckoned me, and without pausing, I picked up my messenger bag and slung it over my head, then hunted for flip-flops. Once I had them on my feet, I slipped out of my room as quietly as I could manage.
The house was silent. I didn’t know whether or not Sam was already up and out in the fields, but I didn’t smell coffee, which probably indicated he was not. I went out through the front door and across the porch, heading for a large rock in the center of the side yard.
I didn’t have time to unpack my paints and set up the easel before the sky changed, so instead I pulled out my watercolor pencils and a large pad. I sat on the rock and allowed the beauty to wash over me. Without looking away from the sky, I let my fingers fly over the page. There was no sound but the scratch of the pencils on paper and the chirp of early morning birds.
I was in another world, completely absorbed in the sky, the air on my skin and the teasing scent of flowers wafting on the breeze. Like magic, the colors translated into my drawing, capturing a piece of the glory I’d spied through my bedroom window moments before.
The Last One (The One Trilogy #1) Page 9